Last Tango in Forks
by AwesomeSauce76
Summary: Bella Swan has spent a lifetime putting everyone else's needs before her own. Could a chance encounter with a mysterious stranger begin to change all of that? AU/AH
1. Skin

Alright people, this is my first journey into the world of AU/AH. I hope you enjoy!

To any of my readers who followed me here from Blood & Lust, I'd like to shout an enormous THANK YOU. I hope you aren't let down.

And for those of you who are new to my writing, I hope that you enjoy it enough to come back again!

This is loosely inspired by the classic 70s erotic film _Last Tango in Paris_, if you hadn't already guessed by the title. While I have used certain plot points here and there, they are in no way the exact same story.*

*however, there WILL be butter. ;-)

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Twilight, no matter how much I like to fantasize about owning Edward.**

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_Do I know you from somewhere?_

_Why do you leave me wanting more?_

_Why do all the things I say_

_Sound like the stupid things I've said before?_

_Put your hand on my skin._

"_Skin" ~ Madonna_

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"No Dad, I really don't feel like fish again tonight. Why don't you clean it and throw it in the freezer? I'll cook it this weekend."

The pretty brunette rolled her eyes, growing tired of having the same conversation at least once a week. She tapped her pen impatiently on her desk, glancing furtively around her work station as she listened to the voice on the other end. She hated drawing attention to herself, and getting caught arguing about dinner with her father while at work always embarrassed her. Just then a loud beep sounded, and she was happy to see that the front desk was paging her.

"Hold on a sec, Dad... other line." She left him rambling on about the shelf life of Rainbow Trout and quickly switched lines, hoping for an excuse to get off the phone. "Yes?"

"You have a chart up, Bella," a female voice replied with a short, clipped tone.

"Thanks, Jess. I'll be right there."

"Don't be too long, you know how much Victoria hates for this family to wait." A click signaled that the receptionist had already hung up, leaving Bella to frown at the phone.

_That's why I said I'd be right there, bitch._

Remembering that her father was still holding, she sighed loudly before pressing the flashing button. "Listen, Charlie, I need to go. I've got a patient. I'm going to the gym after work, so I'll figure out something else to make when I get home. I should be there no later than six." She set the receiver back in its cradle before he could interrupt her again. Bella loved her father very much, but there were times when he worked her last nerve.

She made her way quickly from the nurses station to the front office, wondering who had gotten Jessica's panties in a twist. There was only a small group of families in town that Dr. Wylde ever cared about waiting too long, so Bella could never resist trying to guess who it was whenever another one came in. Was it the Judge's wife? The Mayor's sister?

_God, I hope not. Every time she's here I have to listen to a whole new round of excuses for why she needs another STD test and free samples of Plan B. _

When she reached the different racks where the charts were stacked in order of doctor and appointment time, the bright red sticker on the corner of the chart jumped out at her. It didn't actually have anything printed on it, just a blank red sticker, but it was the unmistakable code in the office for _VIP. _

Needing two hands to lift the thick chart, Bella flipped it open to reveal whose ass she was supposed to start kissing. _Pucker up, baby. It's time to bow down to... _

Rosalie Cullen. _Oh... no wonder! _

Rosalie Cullen was something of a local celebrity, even if the trashy romance paperbacks that she wrote made the elderly people in town shake their heads in disapproval. She was still trying to get her name out there, but she had already sold enough to make a living from it. Bella had bought all four of them as soon as they'd hit the bookstore and devoured them immediately upon arriving home. The girl wrote _excellent_ smut.

However, that's not what put that little red sticker on her chart. Rosalie had achieved red sticker status over twelve years ago on the day she married Carlisle Cullen's son. Carlisle Cullen was the Head of Cardiology at Forks Community Hospital, and Dr. Victoria Wylde never missed an opportunity to brown nose.

Bella propped open the door to the waiting room with her hip, searching with her eyes until they landed on a strikingly beautiful blonde woman who was talking quietly with her head bent towards someone seated next to her. "Rosalie?" The woman in question stopped and looked up, smiling brightly. She stood eagerly, motioning for the tiny woman beside her to follow.

"That was fast!" she exclaimed once the door closed behind them. "How have you been, Bella?"

"Oh, you know... same old, same old." It never failed to amaze her that someone as well-known as Rosalie Cullen actually bothered to remember her name. Since talking about herself always made her feel awkward, Bella quickly deflected the attention back to the patient. "C'mon, let's get you weighed."

"Ugh, do we have to?" Rosalie pretended to pout as she kicked off her shoes and stood on the large scale. As Bella watched the digital readout and noted the result in her chart, the small woman who had been all but forgotten behind them finally spoke up.

"Jeez, Rose, why don't you take off _all_ your clothes? I'm sure you could deduct at least a pound or two for that sweater alone." Her snarky comment was followed by a playful giggle.

"Hey, shut it! I need all the help I can get right now." She turned back to her favorite nurse and made a grave face. "OK Bella, what's the damage?"

Easily falling into Rosalie's dry sense of humor, Bella frowned. "Two pounds since last month's visit. If you keep this up we'll need to get a bigger scale."

"I know." Rosalie tried to hold her dour expression, but she couldn't keep the radiant smile from breaking out across her face. "Isn't it _glorious_?"

Bella smiled back, ushering the two women into an exam room. While she checked Rosalie's temperature with a digital thermometer in her ear, the tiny woman sitting off to the side cleared her throat loudly.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Rosalie said, finally taking the hint. "This is Alice, my husband's sister. She was kind enough to keep me company today since Emmett is out of town until tomorrow."

"I thought football season was over, like, two weeks ago?" While Bella was uncomfortable talking about herself, she was actually quite good at getting others to open up. Besides, Rosalie _loved_ to talk, especially about her husband.

"It was, but the team needs to stay in shape during the off season, not to mention the other clients he takes on during the rest of the year. He's stuck in California right now looking at a torn Rotator Cuff."

Emmett Cullen was a Physical Therapist for the Seattle Seahawks. When a knee injury had permanently benched him before his freshman year of college was over, he combined his love of sports and a familial inclination for medicine to find the best of both worlds. He and Rosalie had been college sweethearts, and they had gotten married about thirty seconds after graduation. After moving around the country for a few years, he was thrilled when he had finally been able to land the position he'd wanted more than anything, always hoping to stay close to his home town. They lived in Seattle year-round now, but happily made the three hour drive home to Forks as often as possible.

Bella turned her attention to the newcomer with the spiky black hair while she checked Rosalie's blood pressure. "So, Alice, I don't remember seeing you in here before. You aren't a patient of Dr. Wylde's? I thought all of the Cullen women came here." The town of Forks, Washington was small, and Bella worked at the largest private OB/GYN around. They had also recently added a young Pediatrician to the staff, which nearly doubled their clientele. It didn't hurt that Dr. James Dubois was extremely easy on the eyes; the rate of mysteriously sick toddlers had skyrocketed over the last few months.

"No, just my mom and Rosalie here. I don't get back to town as often as she does, so I have a doctor in Seattle." Alice's husband Jasper owned his own construction company in the city, and Alice was becoming quite sought after herself as a freelance interior designer.

"Really, Alice, you only go for your annual exam. There's no reason you can't make it here once a year." Rosalie looked back to Bella. "I've been trying to get her to switch. Dr. Wylde is worth the trip."

"Well, I'm sure she'd love to hear that," Bella smiled. She sat down at the small table and made a few more notes in Rosalie's chart. "OK, how have you been feeling?"

"Great! Really great. Better than I thought I'd be."

"No more morning sickness?

"No, not for weeks now."

"Are you having any trouble with your Lovenox injections?" Bella scribbled on the sheet as she spoke, never looking up from the paper.

"No, that's old hat now. There's still some bruising once in a while, but I'm getting the hang of it."

"How many weeks is it now?"

"Fourteen," Rosalie replied, before adding quietly, "I've never made it past ten before." Bella looked up in time to see her wipe a small tear from the corner of her eye. "I'm scared. I've been holding my breath for so long now. I'm afraid to relax and make any plans."

Bella couldn't stop herself from leaning forward and covering Rose's hand with her own. "I don't blame you for worrying, but fourteen weeks is a very good sign. And this is the first time we've tried the injections. They are supposed to greatly increase the possibility of a full term pregnancy for women with your condition."

"It's just so damn frustrating!" She was crying freely now. "It's so hard to keep from getting bitter whenever I see so many women having an easy time of it. Don't even get me started on that fucking show _16 and Pregnant_!" Bella handed her a tissue and she wiped her eyes. "I can't ever just be happy about it. Every time I conceive I have to wonder how long it will be before my body decides to starve it off."

Bella wrapped her arms around her and hugged her tightly. "I'd tell you to just be positive, but I think if someone told _me_ that I'd slap them." Rosalie laughed through another sob before pulling away and composing herself.

"Thank you. I hate hearing that, too." She wiped her eyes again. "I'm sorry, Bella. My damn hormones are all over the place, lately. I cry at the drop of a hat."

"Hey, I'm around pregnant women all day. It's an occupational hazard."

"It doesn't help that we have the added stress of a funeral this week," Alice said. "That's why I'm back home for a few days. It was a tragic loss, and everyone in our family is a bit shaken up right now."

"Oh no, I'm so sorry," Bella offered, hoping that she sounded sincere, because people rarely did when they said that. She wondered who had died, but felt it would be prying if she asked.

"I was actually eager to join Rose today when she asked me. We both needed a few hours away from the madness that our house is becoming." She looked at Bella and smirked. "How pathetic is it when a trip to the Gyno sounds like a vacation?"

"Hey! This is _not_ just some run of the mill pap smear!" Rosalie feigned offense. "This is a baby check up!"

"Yes, dear." They both broke out laughing before Alice turned back to Bella and explained. "I promised her I'd play Emmett's stand in today. That is _totally_ how he would blow her off."

Bella was happy to see that the mood had lightened again, even if only for a little while. Walking towards the door, she smiled back at the two women. "Alright, I'm all done here, so Dr. Wylde should be in to see you shortly."

"Take care, Bella," Rosalie called after her as she left the room.

While she was putting the chart in the slot on the front of the door, she heard Alice's voice again. "OK, you were right. She's amazing. Damn, now I guess I have to switch doctors."

"Pay up," she heard Rosalie mumble. Bella smiled to herself as she walked back to the nurses station, wondering what it might have been like to have a sister.

"Hey, Bella?" a familiar voice cut through her musings. She looked up to see the friendly face of Angela Webber staring back at her. "Would you be able to give me a hand with my next patient? I have to give him a booster shot and the little shit's a kicker."

"Sure, but aren't his parents here to help?"

Angela rolled her eyes. "Sure they are. But it's Mike and Lauren Newton. You do the math." Bella didn't know them personally, but Angela had filled her in on the local gossip over the years. Mike Newton's parents owned the only decent sporting goods store in town, and he had recently taken it over. From what she had heard, he had grown up as a spoiled brat, gone on to marry another spoiled brat, and was successfully raising a brand new one.

"Didn't you say that Jessica used to date him in high school?"

"God, yes. She always acted like he wasn't good enough for her, but ever since he got the store she's been moping around here like he's the one that got away."

"No wonder she's been such a bitch today," Bella grumbled under her breath.

"I know, right?" Angela chuckled as they made their way to the other side of the office where the children were seen.

"If Asshole, Jr. is such a kicker, why don't you leave him for James? The kids love him." Dr. Dubois had made it clear on his first day there that he didn't expect them to call him _doctor_. He had told the nurses that they were all the same in the trenches, and their job was just as important as his. Bella had correctly assumed that it was simply a ploy to get in the pants of as many employees as possible, and from the rumors floating around he had been fairly successful.

"Believe me, I'd love to, but James and Dr. Wylde are off having another _long lunch_." She actually made the air quotes as she said the words.

"_What_?" Bella gasped.

"You didn't know James and her were fucking?"

"Huh? Well, no, I didn't, but that's not really surprising. She's always been the town cougar. I knew it wouldn't be long when I saw how much younger he was." James was still in his early 30s and looked even younger, while Victoria was a cosmetically enhanced 45. "No, what's completely pissing me off right now is that I have a red chart up, and she's off polishing his knob."

"Shit! Forget Asshole, Jr. and go page her right now. If she gets here and sees that—"

"She's gonna have a baby cow, right here on the new carpet," Bella finished.

"Exactly. Now go!" Just then the back door opened, and a throaty laugh could be heard down the hall. "Oh, thank God, that's her."

"Thank you again for _lunch_, Dr. Dubois. It was very... enlightening." Bella walked quickly towards the flirty, purring banter. She rounded the corner just in time to see an attractive red head with unruly curls lean in and brush something off the shoulder of a rugged blond man with bright blue eyes. _Was that a leaf? I don't even want to know. _

He saw her coming towards them and wiped the smile off his face, all business once again. "Yes, well, don't mention it, Dr. Wylde. It's just my way of saying... uh, thank you... for helping me get settled in around here."

"Excuse me, Doctor?" The red head straightened up quickly and turned around. There was no confusion over who was being spoken to, since unlike James, Victoria _expected_ to be addressed by her title. She had worked hard her entire life and paid tens of thousands of dollars to be able to earn that title. Bella didn't mind; she actually preferred the honesty. She would happily take Victoria's blatant pride over James's false modesty any day.

"Yes, Bella?" She absentmindedly reached up and smoothed her hair back, mentally getting back into gear for work. Bella ignored the small blades of grass that fell to the floor. _What the hell? It's January! Where the hell were they? _

"I just wanted to make sure that you knew there was a red chart up in Room 4."

"Oh! How long?" She glanced down at her watch that cost more than Bella made in a year.

"Less than five minutes."

Victoria wasted no time, shoving her coat and purse in Bella's hands. "Be a dear and stick those in my office, would you?"

"Sure thing." When she started to pass her, Bella noticed a small green leaf sticking out of the back of her hair. "Hold on..." Knowing that Victoria would be mortified if any patients saw her so disheveled, Bella bit the bullet and plucked the offending leaf from her hair.

Victoria blushed, but recovered quickly. "Thanks... we had lunch at the new greenhouse in the park. I must have brushed against a branch." And with that she was gone, off to impress another red sticker.

"Whew, I'm so glad they showed up when they did," Angela said a few minutes later when Bella had returned to her desk. "James jumped in just in time for Asshole, Jr. to kick him square in the nuts."

"No!" Bella gasped.

"Yeah, he's in the lounge with an icepack. He'll probably need a few minutes."

"Poor guy. At least he got to use it one last time before it broke."

"Oh, I'm sure he'll pull through; it's his reason to live." They shared a laugh for a minute before Angela remembered something. "Hey, what are you doing tonight?"

"Gym. Then home."

"Bella, that's what you do almost every night! You never go out. Why don't you come out with me and Ben later? We're going to grab a few drinks."

"I can't. It's a weeknight. I really need to get home and make dinner. Maybe some other time, though." But they both knew that there would never be another time. Angela had been asking her for years to hang out, but there was always some reason not to.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A few hours later found Bella driving downtown in her massive old pickup truck towards the gym. As she watched the now familiar landmarks go by, she let her mind wander back to Angela's invitation.

It wasn't that Bella didn't like her; Angela was the sweetest person she'd ever met since she'd moved to town three years ago. However, almost a straight year of having no time to herself while nursing her father back to health after a gunshot wound, combined with being a naturally shy person to begin with, had left Bella almost completely antisocial.

The funny thing about it was that she was desperate for something different in her life, a change of pace. She wanted to get out and _live_ for once. Her father had healed up and returned to work on the police force some time back, but he was so happy to have someone at home helping him with his day to day activities that he tended to play up how helpless he was, knowing that Bella was a sucker for helping people. It had worked for a while, but she was beginning to get annoyed with him. Charlie got everything he wanted, while Bella disappeared deeper inside herself.

As she pulled into a parking space, she thought about the fact that even though this time of day was precious to her, she didn't really care about going to the gym every day. She wasn't some vapid hardbody that lived to feel the burn, but it provided her with a few short hours of alone time and allowed her to work out her frustrations physically. Actually, there was nothing she loved more than popping in her earbuds and losing herself in the music on her iPod, but whenever she tried to do that at home Charlie would inevitably hunt her down and need her to do something.

Grabbing her bag from the seat next to her, Bella locked the doors and made her way towards the gym. The Forks Fitness Center was in the middle of a long strip of businesses. To the left of the gym was an accountant's office, already working late to get ready for tax season, and to the right was a place that Bella always liked to walk by: Mrs. Cope's Dance Studio.

The first time she'd seen it she had laughed for nearly ten minutes straight, wondering how on earth an old-fashioned dance studio stayed in business in such a small town. Even if everyone who lived in Forks decided to learn the Fox Trot, Bella had figured that they would have to run out of customers within a year; but somehow it seemed to be thriving.

From what Bella had heard, Mrs. Cope used to work at the high school office a long time ago, but after she retired she spent a year remodeling the old dance studio that hadn't been in business since the early 80s. The rumors were that she had been quite the dancer back in her youth, and had been the first one to cry when she heard about it closing. Now she spent her afternoons teaching little girls how to tap dance and elderly couples how to mambo. She was in Heaven.

Passing the storefront, Bella peeked in the window like she did every day, smiling as she watched the current class of seventy-somethings shuffle along. Right before she reached the end of the building she saw something that made her stop in her tracks. There, smack dab in the middle of the window, was a sign that hadn't been there yesterday.

**APARTMENT FOR RENT**

**SEE INSIDE**

She blinked a few times, wondering why she couldn't move her feet. After a full thirty seconds Bella finally forced herself to keep walking, right through the gym door and straight into the locker room.

She changed out of her scrubs quickly, throwing on her capri-length black sport pants and one of her favorite concert tees, a dark blue shirt that said _Too Many Dicks On The Dance Floor_ across the front repeatedly in rainbow letters. Making her way into the weight room, Bella signed for an open treadmill and popped in her earbuds, scrolling through her playlists until she found the one labeled _Workout Songs_. She adjusted the settings on the treadmill for her target heart rate and incline, and within seconds she was humming along with the music as she ran.

_Hey, Dirty... Baby I got your money_

Sadly, the song wasn't even over yet before the image of the sign in the window was flashing in her mind. Bella shook her head to clear her thoughts and hit the skip button on her iPod, hoping that another tune might distract her more.

_It takes two to make a thing go right_

_It takes two to make it outta sight_

She smiled widely and started running faster, thinking that she had finally managed to focus. She was wrong. By the second verse she was wondering what the rent might be for an apartment downtown and how fast it would go. Decent apartments were hard to come by in a town so small; people kept them until death and then willed them to their family. At least that's how it felt to Bella. She'd been wanting to get the hell out of her father's house for a long time.

_I wonder if they allow animals—Dammit! What's wrong with me? Why can't I concentrate? _Bella turned off the treadmill, knowing with absolute certainty that if both Ol' Dirty Bastard _and_ Rob Base couldn't get her in the mood, then nothing would.

She stomped back to the locker room and grabbed her bag, tossing the iPod in before zipping it closed and heading outside to her truck. She rarely changed again before heading home, and she didn't see the point of it now since she hadn't even broken a sweat tonight. However, she _did_ see the point of her jacket as soon as she stepped outside and was reminded that it was late January.

She opened the passenger door and set her bag on the seat, fishing her jacket out and throwing it on. When she glanced back over her shoulder as she slid her arm in the sleeve, she was facing the sign once again.

_There's no harm in just asking about it, right? _With a decisive nod, Bella slammed the door shut and went inside the dance studio before she lost her nerve. The office just inside the front door was empty, so she walked down the hall until she heard what sounded almost like Latin music combined with a French accordion. She followed the beat farther down the hall until she found a door that was propped open with a large chalkboard on the floor that read _Ballroom Dance tonight, 5 to 7. _

She stuck her head in the door and peeked around the corner, surprised to find that the elderly dance troupe she'd seen earlier had been replaced by younger couples ranging from their late thirties to their early sixties. They were paired up and dancing in tight formations, arms raised high as the ladies twisted and slithered against the men. Bella was amazed to find it rather... erotic. The couples were arranged around the room in a large circle, and standing in the middle was a statuesque woman with unnaturally red hair piled high on her head. She was wielding a large, elegant walking stick that she held with both hands, tapping it into the floor in time with the beat of the music and nodding her head as each couple passed her.

"Good... good... watch your frame..." She was smiling until one of the women tripped over her own feet and stumbled. _CRACK!_ The end of her stick came crashing down so loudly that it echoed over the music. "People! May I remind you that _you_ were the ones who begged _me_ to teach the Tango this year? There is a reason that it is the very last dance that I teach in class... _if_ I think you're ready, that is. You have shown promise this far, but at the rate you are learning, this is going to take us weeks!" She frowned at each couple, completely ignoring the exotic music in the background as she sighed deeply and continued. "The word tango is derived from the Latin word _tangere_... to touch. It began as a pantomime of communication between a prostitute and her suitor. It is filled with powerful emotions and suggestive gyrations. We are talking _vertical sex_ here, people!"

The flustered instructor looked up just then, catching sight of Bella across the room. She held up one finger to her and addressed the couples again. "Alright, I'll be back in a moment, class. Keep working

at it." She stepped through the circle and made her way across the floor, stopping at the stereo first to repeat the song. "If this song ends before I'm back, you're going to start the whole thing over again." She turned to Bella. "Come!" she barked, sweeping through the door in a grand exit.

They walked into the hall together, far enough away from the door so that they could hear each other. Bella was taken back by how extremely tall and graceful the woman seemed, as well as how much older she appeared close up. The thick makeup she had slathered on did nothing to hide the deep wrinkles and laugh lines on her face. Rather than being repulsed, Bella was in awe of how much living this woman must have done.

"Sorry about that, dear." She smiled warmly down at her and held out her hand. Bella shook it timidly. "I'm Mrs. Cope. Were you interested in signing up for a class?"

"Uh... no. Actually, I was wondering about the sign in your window. The apartment?"

"Oh! Yes, certainly."

"If it's still available, I was hoping that I might be able to schedule a time to look at it."

Mrs. Cope looked at her watch and thought for a moment. "Well, I'm going to be stuck here for a while. If you don't mind viewing it by yourself, I could give you the key and you could take a look at it right now."

"Oh, that would be great!" Bella couldn't keep the enthusiasm out of her voice.

"Well, come with me back to the office for a minute. I'll grab the key for you." They walked together down the hall, making pleasant small talk. Bella enjoyed the steady _click click click_ of her walking stick as she tapped it out of habit.

Mrs. Cope motioned for Bella to follow her into the small office, sitting down at a desk against the wall. She opened the center drawer and started rifling through stacks of loose papers while Bella let her eyes wander around the cluttered room, letting them land on the many stacks of CDs in the corner. She had music from all over the world, for every kind of dance you could imagine.

"Where in the—?" Mrs. Cope mumbled to herself. "It was here earlier. What on earth did I do with that key?" She looked back at Bella as if she had the answer. "Wait a minute... that nice young man."

"Young man?"

"Yes... there was a lovely young man who stopped in to look at it earlier. I forgot that I gave him the key. But that was hours ago! I've been so busy that I didn't realize he never brought it back down."

"Should you be concerned?" If Bella ended up taking the apartment, she didn't want some psycho out there with a key to her place.

"Oh heavens, no! I'm sure that he just set it down up there and forgot all about it. I'll just grab my spare key. If you see the other one laying around up there, just be a dear and bring it back down with you. If it's not there, don't worry, I'll get the locks changed if I have to." She looked back at the giant mess that was her desk. "Now... where the hell is my spare key?"

"Really, if it's too much trouble right now I can come back."

"Oh, don't be silly! You're here now. I think it's just... I remember!" Mrs. Cope unlocked a small desk safe in her bottom drawer and pulled out another key. She relocked the safe and shut the drawer, standing to usher Bella into the hall. "You know, this key has come in handy before. The last tenant hadn't been seen for days and he wasn't answering his phone. When he didn't answer the door, either, I finally had to use this to open it up. Poor thing." She made a sign of the cross over her chest.

Bella turned instantly pale. "You mean he died up there?"

"No, hon, nothing quite _that_ bad." She reached out and patted her arm. "But Mr. Banner had a terrible stroke. When I found him, he was face down on the floor. Nobody knows how long he was there. I tried to hold onto his place for him for as long as possible, but the doctors say he won't be coming home. He's in hospice care now." She looked very sad for a moment. "I used to work with him many years ago. He was a teacher at the school. It just breaks my heart to see someone so intelligent brought low like that. He can't even talk now."

Now it was Bella's turn to pat her on the arm. She couldn't fathom what it would be like to go from being a fully functioning human being one day to being trapped inside your own mind for the rest of your life. Sometimes the human mind terrified her. That was why she could never bring herself to work at a nursing home; the thought of being around so many patients with dementia made her want to cry.

"Well, come on. Let me show you where to go." Mrs. Cope led her all the way down the hallway, past the door to the dance studio, until they reached the rear exit. "Now, you can access the apartment from back here," she said, opening the large door. "There's a parking lot on the other side of the alley behind here that all the tenants along the strip use. Most of the stores have at least one apartment upstairs, but some of them are lived in by the owners." She pointed to another door next to them. "This door here leads upstairs. The key will unlock it if you need it, but it's usually not locked up until nighttime. It's just up at the top of the stairs. If you have any questions come and find me, okay?"

"Thank you so much, Mrs. Cope. I really appreciate it. I'm sorry to have disturbed your class."

"It's no problem, sweetie. I needed a break from those guys anyway, before I started smacking them with my stick." They shared a final laugh before parting ways, each one going into a different door.

Bella walked up the dark stairway clutching the key in her hand. At the top of the stairs there was a long skinny hallway, and at the end of the hall was one lonely door on the left-hand side. Bella took a deep breath and stepped forward, bringing the key to the lock.

The door pushed wide open as soon as she touched it.

_Dude, what the fuck? They just left it unlocked? _She walked in slowly, looking from side to side in the empty room. It was dark and gloomy, but that could have been due to the fact that the sun had already started setting. Bella reached over and flipped the light switch. Nothing. _Great_. Mrs. Cope had failed to mention that the electricity had been cut off already.

Deciding that she needed to make the most of the dwindling sunlight so that she could see the room, she slipped the key into her jacket pocket and wandered around looking for windows. There was a small one above the sink in the kitchen that helped brighten things a bit when she opened the blinds. _Not bad. Not good, but not bad._ There was a little bathroom with a shower and what looked to be one bedroom on the other side of the living room.

As she entered the dark room, she instantly noticed how warm it was. _Guess there's nothing wrong with the heat._ She slipped her jacket off and dropped it to the floor, stopping to flip the switch in there as well, just to make sure. _Damn_. Frustrated, she fumbled her way through the darkness until she reached the other side of the room where the large window was. It had an ancient roll up blind, and when she pulled on it the entire thing snapped up quickly, shooting dust all over her.

"Shit!" she yelled, sputtering and coughing as she brushed herself off. When she had finally composed herself, she slowly turned around the room, taking it in.

And that's when she screamed.

Sitting on the floor facing her, right on the other side of the door she had just entered, was a man. He made no move to get up at her outburst; he simply looked up at her as if he'd only now realized that she was in the room.

"Who the fuck are _you_?" Bella gasped, praying that she wasn't about to become the first in a string of brutal rape/slayings to terrorize the Pacific Northwest. She was just about to yell at him again when she actually managed to _look_ at him.

He was leaning back against the wall with his knees hugged close to his chest, wearing a white dress shirt that was unbuttoned a few times at the collar and what looked like designer jeans that had been artificially distressed; Bella knew that there was no way jeans that clean could have so many holes in them. His hair, which looked like some exotic mixture of bronze and copper, was sticking out in every direction as if he'd been shoving his hands in it repeatedly. His cheekbones and jawline were so chiseled that it almost hurt to look at them, the thick growth of stubble only serving to enhance their beauty.

Bella moved her eyes up slowly, hovering on the most luscious pair of full, pouty lips she had ever seen in her life. They looked soft and pink, and she couldn't help but wonder how they would feel against her own or how they might taste. Continuing upward, she took in his long, straight nose before finally landing on a sight that made her breath catch in her throat.

Piercing jade eyes stared back at her, surrounded by longer lashes than any man had the right to possess. They were swollen and red, and it was obvious that he had been crying. She had never felt like more of an intruder than she did in that moment, but she couldn't tear her eyes away.

He looked tragic... and broken... and heartbreakingly beautiful.

Bella suddenly remembered Mrs. Cope mentioning the _lovely young man _who had taken the other key. _Well, if that isn't the understatement of the fucking century!_

"I'm sorry," she whispered after managing to find her voice. "I didn't know anyone was still up here. Mrs. Cope said she thought you had left." He said nothing, but continued to stare at her as if he could see into her soul. Feeling the need to fill the awkward silence, Bella began rambling about whatever came to her mind. "Were you thinking of taking the apartment?" She glanced around the room. "It's a bit of a dump, to be honest, but it has potential."

When he still didn't answer, she walked back into the kitchen, hoping to give him a moment to collect himself. It wouldn't stop her mouth, though, which made no sense to her because she spent most of her time avoiding contact with everyone. "These cabinets aren't too bad," she called out, opening and closing doors. "There's not much counter space, though."

She went back into the living room and began critiquing the space, wondering to herself the entire time why she couldn't just shut the fuck up. _Because you want to hear him speak to you. You want to know if his voice is as beautiful as the rest of him. _Spinning around slowly, she pointed out what furniture might look good where, and nearly jumped when she turned back around to find that he was standing in the bedroom doorway watching her.

"Any idea what she's charging for this place?" Bella whispered. _Christ, he's tall._ "I sort of... forgot to ask." She blushed deeply, once again unable to look away from him. He simply stared back at her, and when he blinked again she saw a fresh set of tears slide down his cheeks.

Knowing that she had seen, he spun around and went back into the bedroom. Worried that she'd somehow embarrassed him, she followed after him.

Bella crossed the room and propped herself on the window ledge. "Listen... I'm sure you'd love for me to get the hell out of here. Even if you don't want the place, it's obvious that you need some privacy." He grimaced in response to her words but maintained eye contact. "Are you alright?" After what felt like minutes he shook his head slowly. "It's just that... I would feel terrible if I left here and didn't at least _try_ to help." She tried to smile but it felt odd under his scrutiny. After a long pause she took a deep breath and bit the bullet. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yes," he choked out. Although his voice sounded raw to Bella as if he'd been screaming, she wasn't surprised to hear the musical perfection behind it.

"What can I do?" She didn't notice that she had stopped breathing until she needed to speak.

He moved then, slowly walking towards her like a wildcat stalking its prey. The closer he got to her, the more she could feel something growing and tingling, as if an electric current was shooting between their bodies. He didn't stop until he was right in front of her with his arms on each side of the window, effectively caging her in. _He even smells beautiful._

He looked deep into her eyes for almost a minute, allowing the electricity to build between them to a breaking point.

"You can let me fuck you," he whispered.

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Alright, everyone, be gentle with me!

I'd really love to know what you thought of this. I've had this story scurrying around my brain for months now; I hope that you are enjoying it so far!

Now, on to the music... I am going to be making MANY different playlists for this fic. They are all going to be actual playlists that the characters have on their ipods. After a new one gets mentioned, I am going to post a link. Now, all the songs on them may not get mentioned in the fic, but I thought it would be fun for you to be able to shuffle through their ipods and see what they like!

Be sure to check out my author page for the links!! (and don't forget to click that review button!)


	2. Let Go

Alright, I know we're all eager to see what Bella says to our beautiful stranger, so I'm just going to get to it!

**Disclaimer: Stephenie owns it, and she would NEVER make them do the naughty things I do. **

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_Such boundless pleasure_

_We've no time for later now_

_You can't await your own arrival_

_You've 20 seconds to comply_

_So let go, jump in_

_Oh well, whatcha waitin for_

_It's alright_

_'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown_

_So let go, just get in_

_Oh, it's so amazing here_

_It's alright_

_'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown_

"_Let Go" ~ Frou Frou_

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Bella stared at the beautiful stranger in disbelief. He was only inches away from her face now and his words were still hanging in the air around them, thick and heavy with suggestion.

_You can let me fuck you._

"That's not funny," she whispered. He was so close that her breath fluttered against his skin.

"Do you hear me laughing?" His voice sounded gruff now, as if it almost pained him to talk. He only broke eye contact with her long enough to glance down at her lips quickly. When he looked back up, it was just in time to see a brief flash of fear in her eyes. Immediately his stance shifted. "Hey, I'm not going to hurt you. I just... just..." His face crumbled and he choked on another sob.

Any thoughts of fear went out of her mind the instant she saw his jade eyes swimming with tears again. Unable to stop herself, Bella reached out and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She felt his warm hands touch her hips tentatively before sliding around to the small of her back, eventually crushing her to him.

He buried his face in her neck and began to weep.

"I'm _sorry_," he cried. "I just wanted to feel... something... _anything _again." Bella smoothed her hand over the back of his head in what was meant to be a comforting gesture, but she couldn't help sliding her fingers through his unruly hair and noticing how similar the texture was to silk. In response, his grip around her tightened. "I've been numb...," he breathed against the skin of her neck. "Numb for so fucking long that I don't remember what anything feels like anymore."

"Shh... it's okay. It's gonna be okay." Bella continued stroking his hair as he shook. She had absolutely no idea what to think about the man in her arms; she only knew that she wouldn't have let go right then if someone had paid her.

As she held him, she could feel the electric current growing even stronger between their bodies. Everywhere that they touched felt like it would start humming at any moment, and Bella couldn't help wondering in the back of her mind if her hair might start standing straight up.

The man in her arms must have felt it too, because after a few seconds he grew very silent, as if he was also listening for the internal hum between their bodies to begin. She felt his fingers grip her tighter before they eased up, sliding beneath the edge of her shirt.

When his fingertips touched the bare skin at the small of her back and began to make little circles, Bella had to stop herself from crying out in surprised pleasure. His touch was like fire; It left small trails of steam as it moved over her skin. Bella fully expected to find welts in the shape of tiny spiral patterns on her back when she looked at it later.

He slowly ran his nose up the column of her neck, inhaling her scent deeply before stopping with his lips pressed against her ear. "_Please_." It was barely a whisper.

Bella was very confused over what happened next.

She had turned to face him, intending only to politely refuse and say her goodbyes. Yet somehow, her arms had acted on their own accord, pulling his mouth roughly to hers.

She didn't recognize the loud moan in the room as her own.

His lips were like heaven... strong, but soft to the touch... full of a hunger that surpassed anything she'd ever experienced. The glory of his taste was... indescribable. And when he opened his mouth to drink her in, Bella saw stars.

Everything unfolded rather quickly after that.

There was a frenzy of kissing, their tongues warring for dominance. His hands were everywhere at once, cupping her and squeezing her, sliding over mounds and dipping into valleys until her body was shaking and screaming for more.

The beautiful stranger shifted her then, moving until he had backed Bella up against the wall. She felt his hand slide inside her pants as he kissed her, groaning loudly into her mouth when he discovered that she was already swollen and wet.

Without moving his lips from hers, he hooked his fingers into the waist of her workout pants, pulling both those and her panties down as far as they would go until gravity took over and they dropped to the floor. Bella barely had time to step one foot out of them before she was being lifted off the ground and pinned between his solid body and the wall.

He fumbled briefly with his button fly, quickly freeing himself and wrapping her legs higher around his waist while guiding himself to her hot center. Bella hadn't opened her eyes once since he had first kissed her, completely lost in the sensations that were overpowering her, but when she felt him nudging at her entrance her eyes shot open. _Oh God, this is really happening! _

And then he slid himself home in one swift thrust.

They both gasped out loud and froze, locking eyes once again. His eyes held the question that his mouth was reluctant to ask. After she had a moment to adjust to his size and the shock of his invasion, Bella nodded quickly and shifted her hips, signaling him to continue. A slow, wicked smile spread across his delicious lips then, and he moved her legs so that they were hanging over his forearms, bracing his hands against the wall behind her for added leverage.

Looking deep into her eyes, he slowly pulled his hips back, almost leaving her, before thrusting forward again so forcefully that her entire body was rocked several inches. Bella's head hit the wall as she threw it back and cried out, never having felt anything that deep inside her before. Panting loudly, she grabbed him by his hair again and shoved her hips forward, begging him for more.

He latched onto her mouth again, kissing her so hard that she felt lightheaded. His sweet, hot tongue swirled and twisted against hers as his body penetrated her, sliding easily into her welcoming heat. He worked her body like a man possessed: shoving, grinding, pounding, cramming. He broke their kiss with a loud groan and buried his face against her neck, sucking and biting at her there in between what sounded like breathy snarls and grunts.

Bella was on sensory overload. She could feel the stubble from his chin as it scratched her neck, the slickness of his tongue as it flicked at her skin, the flex of his muscles as he shifted his hips between her legs, the broad tip of his cock as it slid back and forth inside her, and over it all... there was his scent. It was potent and masculine and headier than any cologne she had ever smelled in her life.

Before long, his hips began bucking erratically until his legs buckled, causing them both to slide down the wall together until he landed on his knees. He continued pumping into her, sliding a hand between their bodies and expertly rubbing tight circles around Bella's throbbing clitoris.

"Please...," he moaned deeply. "So close... _please_... come for me." He ended his plea with another deep thrust inside her, causing a surprised Bella to explode around him.

_Holy fuck!_

Bella screamed out her pleasure as her body convulsed around his aching shaft.

"_Yes!_" he gritted through his teeth. "That's it, my lovely... I can _feel_ you!" He kissed her again roughly before pulling back to watch her face as she found her release. Her eyes squeezed shut and she bit her lip, moaning and keening as he ground himself inside her even harder, riding out the waves of her gripping orgasm until he followed closely with his own.

They collapsed together then, slumping over to the ground in a tangled heap. Rather than separating from her quickly, the breathless man curled around Bella right there on the floor and clutched her to him tightly like a cherished teddy bear.

"Thank you," he whispered against the shell of her ear.

It was the last thing Bella heard before falling fast asleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When she opened her eyes the room had gone completely black.

_Oh no! Dinner! _She sat straight up, looking around to get her bearings, startled to find two strong arms holding her tightly. When she glanced down to find who they belonged to, the entire afternoon's events came flooding back to her, almost as quickly as the blood did to her cheeks. _I can't believe I just did that!_

With no watch on her wrist and her phone downstairs in her gym bag, Bella had no idea what time it was. Panicked, she disentangled herself from the sleeping man and felt around for her pants. When she couldn't find her panties, a quick flashback of the sight of them dangling from her ankle and bouncing to the rhythm of his thrusts reminded her that she had never fully stepped out of them before things had gotten... _heated_.

Dressing quickly, Bella was overcome with an inexplicable need to flee the scene of the crime. She was growing more embarrassed by the second at the memories that were replaying in her mind, and if she didn't get the hell out of there as soon as possible she knew that she would have a hell of a lot of questions to face when she got home that she wouldn't have the answers for.

Tiptoeing towards the front door, Bella had made it halfway across the living room when she heard his voice right behind her. "Don't forget this," he said quietly, draping her jacket over her shoulders.

"Uh... thanks." She didn't turn around to look at him, choosing instead to stare at the door. In the back of her mind she wished for the power to turn invisible, hoping it might save her from dying of embarrassment in front of this complete stranger who had somehow managed to learn more about her body in a few minutes than anyone else had bothered in almost thirty years... including herself.

She took a few more steps away from him, pausing only to find the doorknob. When she finally had it open and was about to step into the hallway, his haunting voice appeared one more time behind her.

"I'm taking the apartment." His hand smoothed over the back of her hair. The touch made her shiver. "Come back and see me... anytime."

_Like hell! _As soon as Bella finally stepped into the hallway, she began running. She ran down the stairs and out the building, cutting back through the alley to get to her truck as fast as possible. As soon as she was inside the cab of the truck it roared to life, backing up recklessly before screeching off into traffic. She didn't hear the many cars honking at her in anger as she pulled away, only the voice inside her head that had gotten stuck in a loop.

_What have I done? What have I done? What have I done? _

The clock on her radio showed that it wasn't even eight o'clock yet, which surprised the hell out of Bella since it felt like midnight. Remembering her phone, she reached over and grabbed it out of her bag, glancing at the display as she weaved through traffic.

14 Missed Calls. _Fuck!_

Just then another call came in, showing an all-too-familiar number on the screen. Bella hit the send button and started talking before the voice on the other end of the phone even had a chance. "I know, I know. I'm sorry I'm so late. I got held up at the gym. I'll be home in just a little bit, I've got to grab something to eat." She hung up and tossed the phone on top of her bag, pulling into a parking spot in front of the first restaurant she saw.

She buried her head in her hands and tried to stop the flood of images that were replaying in her mind. It didn't work. The more she remembered, the more flushed she felt, with embarrassment... and something more. She had never experienced anything like that in her entire life, and she was disgusted with herself for feeling anything but shame. _I didn't even get his fucking name!_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Thirty minutes later Bella opened the front door to her father's house, her hands full with two large white boxes. "I'm home," she called out.

"In here!" a voice answered, surrounded by the sounds of who-knew-what sports game in the background. Dropping her gym bag from her shoulder onto the small kitchen table as she walked by, she followed the voice into the living room.

"Sorry I'm so late getting home. I figured it would take too long to cook, so I brought us some pizzas."

Two men sat on the couch watching ESPN. Only one of them bothered to drag his attention away from the screen long enough to look at her.

"What gives, Bells?" he said, standing up to help her with the boxes. "I thought you wanted to eat around seven. I've been waiting here with Charlie for hours."

She rolled her eyes and sighed at him. "Like you wouldn't have been here anyway, Jake."

"Well, true," he smiled brightly, taking the pizzas from her and walking back into the kitchen to set them on the counter.

Jacob Black lived on the the La Push reservation with his father Billy, who had once been very close friends with Bella's father Charlie. While he loved his father very much, he tended to spend most nights either hanging out with Bella or his friends from the small garage he worked at on the res. Many nights he would do both, hanging around long enough for Bella to feed them, then taking off to go drinking with his buddies.

"So what took you so long tonight, anyway? And why did you take so long to answer your phone?" he asked, grabbing some paper plates from the cupboard, already very familiar with the layout of the kitchen.

"Well..." Bella stalled, taking her jacket off and crossing the room. "After I was done with my workout, I noticed a sign in the window at the dance studio."

"Ugh... you didn't sign us up for some dipshit swing dance class, did you?" Jacob groaned from behind her at the counter, proceeding to dish out two slices of pizza each onto three plates.

"No, nothing like that." She walked to the table and draped her jacket across the back of the closest chair. Suddenly a loud clinking noise rang out, and when Bella saw what it was her heart nearly stopped.

An old, scratched up brass key was on the floor, right between her feet.

"What's that?" he asked, coming up behind her and looking over her shoulder.

"Um... a key." _Fuck fuck fuck FUCK! _She bent down and scooped it up quickly before turning around to face him. "That's what I was talking about. I saw a sign for an apartment that just became available for rent."

"Where, above that shitty old dance hall?"

"It's not shitty," she defended. "I like it. It's sweet to watch all those couples learning something new together."

"Whatever. I think they look like idiots."

"Anyway," Bella sighed, staring down at the key in her hand. "I went up and had a quick look at it. I forgot my phone in the car or else I would have called to let you know I'd be late."

"What the hell do you want with an apartment? Especially over that dump?" He looked at her expectantly.

"Well I didn't take it, anyway. It was pretty crappy. I just wanted to see what it was like."

"Then why do you still have the key?" He gestured to her open palm.

"Honestly, I forgot it was even in my pocket. I... lost track of time when I was up there. By the time I came back down, Mrs. Cope had already closed the studio." Then quietly, to herself, "I suppose I'll have to... take it back tomorrow." Her thoughts flashed quickly to the dark room and it's even darker inhabitant. _Shit... that is the LAST place I want to go._

"I guess I just don't understand why you would even want to look. Morbid curiosity?"

"Well... I've been keeping an eye out for a while now. I thought it might be nice for us to find someplace new and get settled." Bella sighed again, finally meeting his gaze. "Before the wedding."

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OK, before you throw things at me, just remember there are many more chapters to come, and I already have some of them written out. Many things may change down the road.

Next chapter, join in as we finally get to follow our beautiful stranger home!

Don't forget to check out my author page for the playlists that I posted the links for last chapter. There will be another one up in another chapter or so.

Also, follow me on twitter for update info: AwesomeSauce416


	3. Awake

Alright, many of you are wanting to know more about our beautiful stranger. Here is our first glimpse of him away from Bella. However, don't expect all of your questions to be answered right away. In fact, you may have even more when you are done reading.

Content Warning: there are some dark images later on in this chapter. I don't personally feel they are over the top, but they may get worse in the future. Just letting everyone know.

**Disclaimer: Stephenie created everything. Even my unhealthy obsession.**

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_Wait another minute, can't you see_

_What this pain has fucking done to me_

_I'm alive and still kickin', what you see I can't see_

_And maybe you'll think before you speak_

_I'm alive for you, I'm awake because of you_

_I'm alive, I told you I'm awake, swallowing you_

"_Awake" ~ Godsmack_

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At the very same time on the outskirts of town, a silver Volvo sedan with a rental sticker on the trunk pulled into the driveway of an extremely wealthy looking house. The man behind the wheel turned off the engine, and rather than exit the car immediately as he would normally do, he sat there in the dark quiet of the interior with nothing but his own thoughts for company.

He was startled when he realized that for the first time in days, perhaps even years if he was being honest with himself, his thoughts had turned away from the sullen, self-absorbed moping that his life had become. Instead, he was focused intently on the strange events from earlier that evening.

_Did that shit actually happen?_ He sniffed his fingers and groaned, wincing at the instant, painful erection her lingering scent caused. _Well, I guess so._

He knew that he needed to go inside eventually and face _them,_ the collection of strangers that called themselves his family, but he decided that a few more minutes of happy reflection was more than a bit deserved after the hellish week he'd had. He closed his eyes, thrilling at the notion of being able to see something, _anything,_ other than the image of bright pools of blood drying on dirty linoleum.

But now, in its place were images of beautiful brown eyes and full pink lips. _She tasted so fucking sweet._ He sighed deeply, replaying every whimper in his mind, every moan.

He still couldn't believe how she had appeared out of nowhere, like an angel sent to pull him back from the brink of insanity. She had looked like just that to him, with her lovely soft features and her sweet face full of concern. Nobody had given more than two shits about him for years, and here this precious thing gave up her fucking _body_ just to make him feel better.

And better he felt. _Better_ was a fucking understatement.

He actually felt... alive now. Awake. He had felt so numb earlier that the guilt had eaten at him, finally making him break down. He felt that he should feel... _something_ in a time like this. Pain maybe, even sadness... hell, even more guilt. He felt guilty over his _lack_ of guilt. But he'd felt nothing, and that had scared the shit out of him.

Therefore he couldn't help but find it odd that the moment that angelic creature had put her arms around him, he felt as if someone had flipped a switch inside his brain. She had turned him on again, and in more ways than one. He had felt pure electric pleasure coursing through him when he touched her satin skin. It had been so long since he'd been able to enjoy simply _touching_ someone.

It disturbed him how easily he had forgotten joy.

While he hadn't quite gotten in touch with the emotions that he knew were much more appropriate for his current situation, he wasn't about to turn his nose up at the chance to feel _good _again, even if only for a small while. It was already fading away, but it gave him another feeling he hadn't felt in what seemed like forever: hope. Perhaps if he could feel something so wonderful again, everything else wasn't as far out of reach as he'd first thought.

He let his mind wander again, immediately snapping back to his brunette mystery. She had appeared just as shocked as he had been at the connection between them, but she had clearly felt it. It wasn't just him. He knew it as sure as he knew that she had never even dreamed of doing anything like that before in her life. And she had loved it. He knew by how fast she ran off that her mind might not believe it yet, but her body didn't lie.

He fondled the old brass key in his pocket, remembering how amazing she had felt when he'd finally gotten inside her, and how that paled in comparison to her body squeezing him as she came. _Fuck, she was so tight! I could have spent hours inside that girl. Shit, I would have, if she hadn't left. _

He could still see her running out the door as if her hair was on fire. He would have laughed about it if it hadn't hurt so much to watch her leave. He had felt powerful and wanted when he was with her, which was certainly something he had missed over the years.

If anything had the ability to finally make him feel sadness, it was the knowledge that he would most likely never see her again.

_I wish I had tasted her pussy. With a tongue that sweet and a scent that potent, I bet her pussy tastes like ambrosia. Sweet, dripping ambrosia. It's a fucking crime not to know how she tastes. _

He sucked on his fingers, trying to find a flavor to match the delicious scent that coated them. There was the faintest hint of something tangy and earthy, but not enough to know for sure.

It was only enough to tease him, leaving him rock hard once again.

Just then a loud knock sounded at his window. He jumped, turning in time to see a large dark haired man smiling down at him from outside the car. It was dark outside, but it was still easy to see that his smile was enormous; what little bit of his face that wasn't shining with teeth was covered in deep dimples and sparkling eyes.

Adjusting himself quickly, he got out of the car, not bothering to lock the door before facing the smiling man. "You scared the shit outta me!"

"Hey, sorry man. I thought you heard me calling you." Embarrassed, he realized that a bomb could have dropped and he probably wouldn't have heard it. Not while he was thinking of his lovely afternoon distraction. "Come here," the newcomer said, grabbing him tight in a huge bear hug. "I haven't seen you in fucking forever!"

"I thought you weren't going to get here 'til tomorrow," he replied, grunting his discomfort into the taller man's chest.

"I caught the first flight out as soon as I could get away. The shuttle just dropped me off." He gestured to a pile of bags near the front steps of the house. "Jeez, you didn't hear that either?"

"Sorry... guess I'm a bit distracted right now."

The larger man's smile dropped instantly. "Fuck... I'm sorry. Of course you are." He gripped his shoulders and looked him deep in the eyes. "How are you holding up? I just couldn't fucking _imagine_ what you are feeling right now."

"I'm... okay, I guess," he sighed. "To tell you the truth, this whole thing is really fucking surreal."

"Well, I know we haven't exactly been close over the last few years, but I hope you know that you can call on me for anything. You do know that, right?"

"Yes, thank you." It was the same generic answer he'd been giving to the same generic statement that everyone had been telling him for days now, people he barely knew or hadn't seen in almost a decade. However, he knew that this man was different; he didn't believe in bullshit for bullshit's sake.

"I suppose we should go inside, huh? Mom's probably going batshit crazy over all the little details." He clapped him on the back and walked with him to the front door, stopping only to pick up his luggage.

They entered the house together, walking into an immaculate foyer that was larger than most homes in Forks.

"Mom?" the dark haired man called out.

"In here!" A lot of noise could be heard from the direction of the kitchen. They walked through the doorway to find a beautiful middle aged woman up to her elbows in flour. When she looked up at them, a very familiar, very large smile broke out on her face. "Emmett! You made it in early!" She ran around the counter and held out her arms, trying to keep the messiest parts of her away from his shirt.

"Yeah, I came as fast as I could get away," he leaned down and hugged her around the torso, still managing to get flour on the front of him and not caring in the slightest. "Look who I found lurking around outside," he added, motioning behind him with a nod of his head.

"Oh Edward, there you are! I haven't seen you all day. Where did you run off to this morning after breakfast?"

The man with the messy bronze hair shrugged dismissively. "I just needed to get away for a while."

She looked him over for a moment with a mother's knowing eye. "Well, whatever you did, it seems to have helped a bit. You look much more relaxed than you did before. I'm glad." She looked as if she wanted to hug him, too, but wasn't exactly sure how well it would be received.

"Mom, what the hell are you doing in here?" Emmett asked, staring at the huge mess on the counter.

"Oh! I'm making the fruit tarts for the visitation tomorrow."

"Are you planning on feeding an army?"

"Don't be a smartass. There are going to be a lot of people here; we have relatives coming from all over the place. I'm just trying to be prepared."

"Okay, whatever you say, crazy lady," he teased, scooping a thick finger into a bowl of lemon curd and licking it clean. "Where's Rose?"

"Alice kidnapped her and Jasper a while ago to go shopping. She said it was a last minute clothing emergency."

"Heaven forbid," Emmett groaned. "And Dad?"

"Your father had a meeting at the hospital that he couldn't get out of. It was scheduled for tomorrow, but the others were nice enough to meet with him tonight, instead. He'll be home as soon as possible."

"Mm... mm hmm." Emmett continued to dip his fingers into different fruit mixtures and taste them, causing their mother to make clucking noises at him and shooing gestures with her arms. He finally laughed and backed away, holding his hands up in surrender.

Edward stood back and watched the easy interaction between his brother and his mother. They looked so natural and comfortable together. He thought that he remembered being like that with them once, but it was so long ago that he couldn't swear how much was memory and how much was invention.

"Well, I'm gonna head up and unpack before Rose gets back and starts stressing out over my wrinkled shirts," Emmett called over his shoulder as he walked towards the stairs. "Hey, how did her doctor appointment go today?"

"All clear," Esme Cullen yelled back, looking straight at Edward when her older son left the room. "Darling," she sighed, "are you going to be alright?"

"I'm... managing," he rasped.

"Are you?" Her knowing gaze bore straight into him. "You don't have to carry this alone. We're all here for you."

"I know that."

Her look turned sad. "I hope you do."

After an uncomfortable beat of silence, Edward cleared his throat and made his excuses. "Listen, I think I'm going to lay down. I haven't exactly been sleeping very well the last few nights." He walked towards the stairs, but this time Esme followed him.

"Do you need your father to prescribe something? I'm sure he would understand."

"No," he snapped, a little more sharply than intended. _She doesn't know. Don't take it out on her._ "I'd rather not take anything if I can avoid it. But, thank you." As he turned around and started walking up the steps, something caught his eye that he hadn't noticed earlier.

Bright colors and swooping brush strokes. An all-too-familiar and frankly pompous 'EAC' was scribbled in the most self-important font imaginable in the lower right corner.

"I can't believe you still have this," he whispered, staring at the painting that was mounted on the wall in front of him.

"Of course I do, dear, don't be silly. I love that. That was one of your first pieces."

"That reminds me," Edward turned back to face her. He stuck his hand in his pocket and grasped the worn-out key again, rubbing it absentmindedly, as if it were an old lantern that would somehow make his mystery woman appear. "I'm going to be staying on for a while. I just rented some studio space here in town... a shitty little apartment. I thought I might try to work a bit."

Her answering smile was radiant. "Edward, that's wonderful! I think working again will help you through this. It might give you an outlet to channel your emotions. Plus, it will be lovely to have you around." Then, almost to herself, "I've missed you."

"Well, I just wanted to let you know. I might be around, but there could be times when I'm gone for days at a stretch. If I get absorbed by something, I've been known to crash in the studio."

"Whatever you need to do, sweetheart. I'm just happy that you have found something that might help you feel more productive."

On that note, Edward nodded curtly and turned around again, finally making his way upstairs to his old bedroom. Some time over the last few years Esme had turned it into a guest room, most likely assuming that he'd never even set foot in it again.

Laying down in the large golden bed, Edward prayed for sleep to find him again. That small bit he'd had in the apartment with _her_ had been the most peaceful he'd felt in a long time, not only over the last week. As he lay there in the dark, he let his mind travel again to soft lips and delicious kisses... to delicate fingers stroking his hair. _I want to hold her again. I want to bottle her up and keep her with me for nights like this. _

And with that thought, he fell asleep.

-LTIF-

_Frantic kisses... bodies entwined in a heap on the floor... soft moans turning into pleasured cries... beautiful brown eyes... fading... fading... fading._

_Is this Mr. Cullen?... found your name in her belongings... need you to come in... deal with the authorities..._

_Run down shithole... stained carpet... dirty mattress... the bathroom... bathroom... _

_BLOOD... blood everywhere... dried puddle on the floor... smears on the side of the tub... dark red water... crimson streaks on porcelain skin... vacant blue eyes._

"NO!" Edward screamed, sitting straight up in the foreign bed. He was pouring sweat, and his heart was pounding in his ears.

Glancing at the clock, he saw that it was after 3am. _Well, that's the longest stretch yet._

He lay back down against the soaked sheets and cringed. When he tried to close his eyes again, the blood was back. _Fuck!_ He rolled over to his side, trying to distract himself and calm down. After another hour had passed with no luck, he punched the mattress in frustration.

"Fuck you, Tanya," he whispered. "You fucking coward."

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Well, let me know what you all thought, I'm dying to hear from you!!

No new playlists for this chapter, but there will be another one for chapter 4. Don't forget that I always update the title songs in the main playlist, though. Check out my author page for the link!

Follow me on twitter for info or just send me a quick hello! AwesomeSauce416


	4. Caramel

Alright, kiddies, it's time to heat things up a bit!

Let me just start out by apologizing ahead of time for the lengthy chapter note. I just really wanted to draw attention to the playlists early on, for those of you who enjoy listening along.

There are two new playlists for this chapter, both of them created by Edward for his iPod. The first list is full of loud, aggressive music that he plays while he is working on his art. This one is called "Painting Music," and it's a lot of fun. www(dot)playlist(dot)com/playlist/19831806219

(However, it seems that the ONLY song I happened to quote from it in this chapter is one of the only songs not allowed on the playlist site. Damn you, copyright restrictions! So, if any of you are interested in listening to 'Blind' by Korn, here is a direct link to it on youtube: www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=5_hIojjA3A4 )

Now, this is the REAL reason I wanted to post these links early; Edward also happened to make a little list called "Fuck Songs." If you are someone who really likes to get into the feel of the scene, then click this link and hit play at the very moment when Edward opens the door to find Bella in the hallway. After that... just sit back, read along, and _enjoy_! www(dot)playlist(dot)com/playlist/19760079627 I'm also going to post clicky links in my author page.

Let's get on with it, shall we?

**Disclaimer: Stephenie owns all things Twilight related. She had absolutely NOTHING to do with this. If she did, I _highly_ doubt that she would have the characters doing such unspeakable things set to thumping techno beats. **

* * *

_It won't do_

_To dream of caramel_

_To think of cinnamon_

_And long for you_

_It won't do_

_To stir a deep desire_

_To fan a hidden fire_

_That can never burn true_

"_Caramel" ~ Suzanne Vega_

X

XO

XOX

The next morning found Bella sitting at the small desk in her upstairs bedroom. It was still dark outside, barely after 6am, and she was wrapped in an old, ratty blue robe with a towel wrapped around her head. Two large orange-striped tabby cats twined their way around her ankles, but she hardly noticed them; she was too busy staring at an object on her desktop.

The key.

It lay there, mocking her. No matter how long she looked at it, it wouldn't go away.

_What the fuck have I done?_ She poked at the key as if it might bite her, making it scrape across the wooden surface beneath. _We didn't even use anything! There is no excuse for this. Thank God I get the shot, but who knows what the hell HE has? _

Bella put her head in her hands, closing her eyes in frustration. She cracked one eyelid, quickly peeking down at the desk again. The key was still there. She closed her eyes tightly once more, as if she could wish it away if only she tried hard enough. But this time when she closed her eyes, she saw flashes of vibrant jade and luscious pink.

"Dammit!" Bella huffed, slamming her hands down on the desk, causing the key to bounce and rattle.

All night she had been haunted with his image. She had sat there between her father and her fiance, pretending to watch the game, while all the while she kept reliving every single touch in her mind. Every kiss. Every _thrust_.

_God damn, could that boy move._

Regardless of how sick Bella was with herself over her thoughtless actions, she couldn't lie to herself enough to believe it hadn't been worth it. Well, perhaps _worth it _was a bit of a stretch. She wasn't quite sure the guilt she was feeling was worth it. Or if she ended up with some rare strain of Herpe-gono-syphil-aids; that probably wouldn't be worth it, either.

_Amazing_. That would probably be more fitting. _Mind-blowing._ That was certainly the truth. Bella had never felt any amount of pleasure remotely close to that before, and it had happened so fast that her head was still spinning.

She thought back to the uncomfortable moment when Jake had tried to kiss her goodnight before leaving to hang out with his friends from work. He had given her a friendly hug and leaned down for a quick peck on the lips, and Bella had needed to stop herself from jerking her head back. Not only did it feel morally wrong to let him kiss her where another man's lips had recently been, but even physically, the kiss itself just felt... _wrong_. His lips were the wrong texture, they were the wrong shade of pink. They didn't make her knees feel weak as soon as they touched her own. They were cold... and dry.

She had never noticed anything off about his kisses before, they had always seemed perfectly adequate. They were never unpleasant, but they had never kept her up at night obsessing about them, either. Bella had been with others before, a few guys here & there who she had dated through college while she still lived in Phoenix, and they had all been fairly similar. _Adequate_, but nothing to write home about. She had just assumed that reality was nothing like the steamy encounters she hungrily devoured in books written by people like Rosalie Cullen.

It wasn't as if she was frigid; she had plenty of good memories with her little friend that was tucked away in her nightstand. And when Jacob managed to really put some effort in, which didn't happen often because it required him lasting longer than about three minutes, Bella sometimes felt a few warm tingles. She had just never felt comfortable asking him for more, and he had never thought to ask. The few times he had tried to go down on her had been such awkward, embarrassing fiascoes that she just let him think she didn't have any interest in that. She'd heard people joke that there was no such thing as _bad_ head, but Bella would beg to differ.

She wondered briefly if her beautiful stranger would have more skill in that department. She remembered how strong his tongue had been as it swirled inside her mouth, instantly tasting him again. _God, stop! No good can come from thinking of that._ She shook her head to clear the images, knowing that it was useless to imagine since she would never get to experience it.

She looked back down at the key again. _I just have to give it back. I need to get this thing out of my hands so I stop focusing on it. _She debated simply dropping it in the mail to Mrs. Cope, but figured that it wouldn't be right since she really should have turned it back in last night. _I'll just drop it off after work on my way to the gym. I only have a half day at work today... I can get it out of my hands that much sooner. _

A loud yowling interrupted her thoughts. She looked down to see one of the large cats staring up at her expectantly, while the other one was pawing at her foot. She sighed loudly and smiled at the one who was staring at her. "I suppose you're hungry, huh Wembley?" When she was treated to another loud whine in return, she decided it was time to put her worries aside and finish getting ready for work.

"Okay, just a minute, babies. Momma needs to get dressed." She stood up and waded through the furry bodies, making her way to the small closet. She took the towel off her head and draped it over the doorknob, shaking out her damp hair. Throwing on a pair of scrubs quickly and shoving the key in her pocket without looking at it, she brushed out her hair and left it to air dry as she opened the door to the hall. "Come on, tubbies," Bella called behind her to the portly felines who were already following her eagerly. "If you ask me, I think you two have had _enough_ to eat."

As much as Bella liked to tease them, she wouldn't have them any other way. She loved their jiggly fat tummies; they reminded her of how much they had changed from when she had gotten them.

Wembley and Boober were brothers from the same litter that had been dumped at the animal shelter where Bella had worked for extra money while attending school at the University of Phoenix. There had been six kittens in total, all malnourished, and they were the frailest of the group, which meant that nobody had wanted them. Nobody but Bella. She couldn't stand to leave them there every night when she went home, so one day they came home with her.

Her roommates were a bit cross with her at first, but after watching her trying to nurse them back to health they couldn't resist the adorable kittens. Before long they were all doing their part to sneak them some extra scraps, hoping to fatten them up... and fatten up they _did_.

Bella walked into the kitchen and filled their food dishes, jumping out of the way before they knocked her over. She took a package of ground beef out of the freezer and put it in the refrigerator to thaw, planning to make a simple meatloaf when she got home later that night. Pouring herself a bowl of cereal, she sat down at the small table and began to eat, trying her hardest to keep the memories from coming back.

After a few minutes some loud thumping came from upstairs, followed quickly by the awkward thump and drag of Charlie limping down the stairs with his cane. He had been recovered enough to return to work, but some cold mornings still left him feeling a little stiff. Distracted by the loud thumping, Wembley and Boober turned away from their now empty bowls and tore off back up the steps, looking forward to a long day of sleeping on Bella's warm bed.

"God Dammit, Boober!" Charlie yelled as the hefty tabby ran over his foot as he passed him, causing him to stumble down the last two steps. "Swear to Christ I'm gonna string them up by their tails one day," he grumbled to himself as he joined Bella in the kitchen.

"No you won't," Bella muttered around a mouthful of cereal. "Or else I'll string _you_ up," she finished after she swallowed her bite. "Besides, you love those cats. Admit it."

Charlie sat down next to her and looked her in the eye with his most deadpan expression before smiling at her, causing his 70s porn 'stache to curl up at the corners. "Yeah, they're alright," he replied, wondering if Bella knew just how much they cuddled on his lap whenever she was gone. "So... half day today?"

"Uh... no, actually," she lied. "They changed a few things around on the schedule. I might end up being there a full day. And then the gym. I'll have to see how it goes." Changing the subject quickly, she added, "I'm gonna make meatloaf when I get home."

Her father looked at her and Bella felt as if he could see the lie on her face, but he simply shrugged. "Okay, whatever. I'm at work until after five tonight anyway."

Sighing with relief, Bella stood up and kissed him on the head. "I should get going. See ya later, Dad." She threw on her coat and grabbed her repacked gym bag, closing the door behind her as she left. On the drive to work she wondered why she had lied so quickly about her schedule. Sure, she liked having time to herself, but he already knew she went to the gym. By the time she had pulled into the parking lot, she had convinced herself that it was simply to allow her more time to return the key; just in case Mrs. Cope wanted to talk again, she wouldn't feel so rushed.

It was the typical morning in the office: pap smear, pap smear, pregnancy test, ultrasound, pap smear. Bella assisted where she was needed and answered calls for concerned patients. At one point, she and Angela shared a laugh over how obvious the flirting had become between James and Victoria, who blindly believed that nobody had noticed their little games of grab-ass.

Before long it was noon, and Bella's shift was over. _Let's get this over with, _she thought to herself as she headed to her truck, patting the key in her pocket. When she pulled up to her usual parking spot outside the gym, she was disappointed to see a CLOSED sign on the door of the dance studio. She got out and took a closer look, groaning when she saw that Mrs. Cope would not be opening up until 4pm today. _That's just great. I didn't want to wait around all day for this. I want it gone now._

She huffed off to the gym, not knowing what else to do, and changed quickly into a pair of gray capri sweats and a brown t-shirt that had the words _Band Meeting: Present_ across the front in white letters. This time she signed in for an elliptical machine, taking her trusty iPod with her and queuing up her favorite workout playlist. Soon she was stepping away to the sounds of Scissor Sisters and almost feeling like normal.

_Cuz you're filthy_

_Ooh, and I'm gorgeous_

_You're disgusting_

_Ooh, and you're nasty_

_And you can grab me_

_Ooh, cuz you're nasty_

She closed her eyes to enjoy the beat and was instantly bombarded with images from yesterday. Only now, it had a soundtrack. She could feel his hands grabbing her, his lips kissing her flesh, and his hips bucking to the rhythm of the music. _Oh God! _

She opened her eyes again quickly, a warm flush spreading over her face. Her favorite thing was to get lost in a good beat, and she wondered quickly what it might be like to actually fuck someone to music, since Jake always wanted lights out and total silence. Once the thought entered her mind she couldn't shake the fantasies of it, with _him_.

_Dammit, this is getting me nowhere! _

She turned off the machine, and for the second time in two days, gave up out of frustration. After leaving the locker room again with her bag, she noticed a rear exit down the hall that was eerily similar to the one at the dance studio. Wondering if it led to the same alley, Bella looked around quickly to make sure no one was watching and slipped out the back.

There it was. The door to the apartment building.

_I can't wait anymore. I'm just going to slip it under the door. _

Bella tried the door and it opened easily, so she quietly went up the stairs. The closer she got to the top, she could hear loud music blaring from the other side of the wall. _Shit!_ She had hoped that no one would be here yet, but she thought that perhaps the music would be so loud that she could still slip the key under the door and whoever was in there would never be the wiser.

She tiptoed closer, listening as the old Korn song _Blind_ was winding down.

_I can see, I can see I'm going blind_

_I can see, I can see I'm going blind_

Inching closer, she leaned over with the key in her hand. She could see from the thin streak of light on the ground that the door was cracked again. _Jesus, don't they ever close the door around here? _Over the music she could hear odd noises that sounded almost like a staple gun, but from down on the floor.

The song was almost over, so she decided it was now or never. She placed the key on the ground and started sliding it forward, holding her breath as she watched it getting closer to the bottom of the door. Just as her fingers came close enough to push it the rest of the way under, the song ended and footsteps started moving across the floor. It startled her so much that she pushed too hard and her hand bumped the door. Right before a new song started, a loud creaking sound echoed in the room from where she was.

_Fuck!_

Bella stood up quickly, intending to run away, when the door was suddenly yanked open. There was her beautiful stranger standing before her, sweaty and out of breath, staring first down at the key on the floorboards, then up at her in shock. He was messy and disheveled, wearing a black v-neck t-shirt and dark, paint splattered jeans. Somewhere in the background Bella could hear Prodigy's _Smack My Bitch Up_ starting to play.

_Oh no, not Prodigy!_ Bella somehow managed to think in the back of her mind as she stood there, frozen to the spot. That band's heavy techno beats always made her either want to dance or fuck... and this guy didn't look like he was in the mood to dance.

After what felt like minutes but was probably only seconds, the gorgeous creature's too-perfect lips curved up in another wicked smile, as if he were the inventor of the smirk. He reached out and grabbed her by the shoulders, dragging her into the apartment and slamming the door closed. In a move so fast that she had no idea how it happened, he had her shoved back against the door and half drunk with his kisses once again.

His mouth was ravenous, as if he were being presented with his last meal. He kissed her fiercely, sucking and biting at her tongue and lips, frantically trying to cover every inch of her skin at the same time.

Bella wanted to say something, but she couldn't remember what it was. She knew it had to have been something important, but whenever she tried to think long enough to come up with it, he would shift his mouth on her or flick his tongue and she would be lost all over again.

When she realized that he was pulling his lips away, she moaned in protest, until she felt him kissing his way down her bare chest. Somehow her shirt and sports bra had been removed, leaving her topless before him, but she honestly didn't even notice it happening.

His long, slender fingers gripped her breasts, massaging them roughly before his hot kisses took their place. She threw her head back against the door and almost cried from the pleasure of his mouth suckling her... hard. She shoved her hands into his silky hair, grabbing large handfuls and squeezing, feeling him groan against one of her painfully hard nipples. His hot tongue flicked it repeatedly, nipping at it with his teeth before moving even lower.

He dropped to his knees before her, pulling her sweats down in one swift motion, making her step out of them as he stared at her, hypnotized. Bella wanted to squirm under his sharp gaze, not used to having anyone pay that close attention to her below the waist, but he wouldn't let her cover herself. He stopped her self-conscious hands and placed them back on his head, and she instinctively knew to grab onto his hair again. When she did, his eyes rolled back into his head for a moment before they looked up to meet her own heated gaze.

He smiled again, licking his lips, before he reached out and slid his hands between her legs, bending his arms back up around her hips until she was forced to slide forward and sit on his shoulders. She was left balancing there on his shoulders, her back leaning against the door and her hands grabbing onto his hair for leverage.

He buried his face between her legs and inhaled sharply, and before Bella had time to be embarrassedor ask him to stop, he snarled loudly and opened his mouth against her. She felt his hot tongue sweep across her wet sex in broad strokes, and she wasn't able to keep from crying out loud anymore.

"Holy fuck!"

Her exclamation only drove him on, making him lick her harder. She could feel every flick, every swirl of his evil, perfect tongue. By the time he latched onto her swollen clit and began suckling her again, she was rounding the corner to insanity.

All the while, the song blared on in the background.

_Change my pitch up... Smack my bitch up_

Bella began screaming as her orgasm ripped through her like a lightening bolt. She gripped his hair so hard that she was surprised it didn't come out in her hands, and as she rode out her release she began pulling him into her, grinding herself against his eager mouth.

_She tastes so fucking good she tastes so fucking good she tastes so mother fucking good!_

The words ran through Edward's mind like a chant. He couldn't get enough of her addictive flavor, never in his life experiencing anything so unique. She tasted like liquid lust... like heaven and sin combined... and he knew with absolute certainty that he would never be able to stop after only one taste.

When his beautiful brunette mystery finally stopped shuddering against his lips, Edward let her down gently until he could free his shoulders, and then he was picking her right back up again until her legs were wrapped around his waist. He carried her past the living room, where he was halfway through stretching a new canvas, and into the bedroom, where there was now a simple bare mattress sitting in the middle of the floor. He hadn't bothered with buying sheets or a box spring, only wanting something he could crash on whenever he ran out of energy.

But now that he had her back in his arms, he was going to use it for so much more than sleep.

He knelt on the edge of the mattress and leaned over, setting her down like a prized treasure. She looked up at him with heavily lidded eyes and managed a weak smile, grabbing him by the back of the neck and pulling him down to her. She kissed him then, passionately, tasting herself on his lips and moaning at how erotic it felt to taste both of their flavors combined.

As the kiss grew more and more frantic, Bella noticed that she was writhing completely nude underneath him while he was still totally dressed. She slid her hands down his back until she could grab onto his shirt, pulling and yanking until he was forced to lift his arms and allow her to slip it over his head. His lips were right back on hers as soon as she chucked the offending garment on the floor, and then she set about working on his jeans.

The moment her hands slipped between them and touched his button fly, his own hands were shoving hers out of the way, desperate to comply with her obvious wishes. However, by the time he had pulled them open and down his hips to kick them off, the amazing sensation of her naked breasts sliding against his chest was enough to make him pause for a deep breath. He leaned his forehead against hers and sighed, opening his eyes to look at her.

"You came back," he whispered.

And then he entered her.

Both of them gasped as he slowly penetrated her body, sinking deeper... inch by solid inch. Bella somehow heard the music change in the other room, and now the loud, thumping club beats of New Order's _Confusion_ was pounding through the walls. He started moving inside her then, back and forth, grinding against a place that Bella had never felt stimulated before.

"Oh!" she cried out, and he searched out her eyes. He moved again, rubbing more firmly against the tight bundle of nerves inside her, watching her face react as her body spasmed around him.

"Is that it?" he moaned, already wanting to explode from the way her inner muscles were gripping him tightly. "Is that your spot, baby?" He shoved into her harder, making sure to drag the thick tip of his cock along that place each time he passed it.

Bella was lost: lost in the moment, lost in the grinding beats of the music, lost in his unbelievable scent that was pure sex. When she began rocking into him in time to the song, matching his rhythmic movements, he grunted loudly and rolled over, pulling her on top of him. At first she stayed close to his body, not wanting to move far from his lips, but as he coaxed her back slightly she felt the deeper angle her position created.

Moaning her surprise, she raised up on her knees, leaning her hands back on his thighs and arching back, riding him roughly. He almost lost it again at the sight of her, firm breasts thrust forward with the most delicious rosy peaks that bounced with her motions. Edward reached up and gripped her hips, pulling her down onto his shaft harder with each upward thrust, wondering how the hell he was going to keep his sanity while he tempted the fates and fucked a goddess. Surely there would be _some_ form of punishment down the road?

She began shaking then, and he could feel her growing wetter around him, dripping down his cock. The room was flooded with her scent, thick with arousal. Edward growled deep in his chest, sitting up quickly to grab her around the shoulders and kiss her succulent nipples, pulling first one and then the other into his mouth. When he felt her shuddering grow exponentially, he moved a hand back between their bodies and slid his thumb inside her light dusting of curls, making tight circles around her clitoris as he shoved deeper inside her.

Bella came undone, her tight sheath clamping down on him, her nectar flowing freely. She moaned and screamed her release, never feeling any amount of pleasure like this before in her entire life, even by herself.

Edward, her beautiful stranger, began bucking his hips furiously, finally unable to hold on any longer. He exploded deep inside her, allowing the death grip she had on his erection to milk him dry. He cried out, burying his face in her neck and biting lightly.

When the frenzy had subsided for the both of them, he pulled her with him as he lay back on the mattress, holding her on top of him and loving the feel of her in his arms. After a moment he rolled her to the side so that he could look down at her. Her eyes were closed, from exhaustion or embarrassment he couldn't be sure, because the loveliest blush he had ever seen was spreading from her cheeks down to her chest.

"Look at me," he said softly. He traced the features of her face with his fingertips, rubbing his thumb slowly across her full, pouty lips. He leaned down and kissed her softly before pulling back to look deep into her eyes; warm brown met smoldering jade. "You're keeping that fucking key," he growled. "And we're going to meet here... whenever you want. If I'm not here, let yourself in. I should hopefully be along shortly."

Bella blinked a few times as what he was saying to her sank in. "But when would—? How would I know?"

"I'll be here working most days for a while. Take a chance."

"But... don't you even want to know my name?" Bella asked, a slightly bewildered tone in her voice.

"No!" he snapped. "And I'm sure as hell not going to tell you mine." After a moment his tone softened and he continued. "That's for the outside world, with all the walls we've built around ourselves. There's no place for that shit here.

"We're going to meet here and it's going to be _real_... no bullshit pretenses. We're going to say what we want and do as we like." He leaned down to kiss her lips again before pulling away and smiling. "Putting a name on things only gives it limitations... expectations. I don't want any of that. I just want your body... and your soul. Your true soul that you hide away from the rest of the world, buried behind your name."

Bella stared back at him, almost dumbfounded with his theories. When she was finally able to speak, she was surprised that it had nothing to do with everything he'd just said. "Um... that's twice now that we didn't use anything."

"I realize it's a bit late, but are you taking anything?"

"Yes... I get the shot. But should I be worried?"

"Well, I can get condoms if you'd like, but as for worry, there's no need." He looked away for a moment and Bella saw a dark cloud pass over his features. "I haven't been with anyone in over a year, and I've been tested in that time."

"Okay," she whispered, pulling him down to meet her lips again, wanting nothing more than to make that dark cloud disappear from his face. When they came back up for air, they were both panting harshly and the dark cloud was nowhere in sight.

He moved between her legs again and began to enter her slowly, all of the earlier madness replaced with a lazy, languorous pace. She welcomed him eagerly, already feeling as if he was right where he should be.

Two hours and countless orgasms later, Bella lay sprawled across his toned chest, drifting off to sleep. She was weak and sated beyond belief.

One last conscious thought went through her mind before she surrendered to the heavy pull of slumber.

_This_... this had definitely been _worth it._

XOX

XO

X

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OK, I'm going to let you off the hook here. Go... smoke a cigarette, take a cold shower, attack your significant other.

But then, you must come back and REVIEW!!!


	5. Snuff

So, how did everyone like the last chapter? From what I have heard so far, it seems to have gone over well.

Now, there is going to be a slight change of pace for this chapter. We're switching things up a bit, moving into some angst here. Once again I don't think it's anything too bad yet, but if anyone has trouble reading about the topic of suicide, I just wanted you all to be warned.

Now I usually just try to offer up the playlists as a suggestion in case anyone might want to get more into the mood of the scenes, but for this one I really encourage you all to check out the title song that is also mentioned later. The lyrics and the mood of the song really fit Edward's frame of mind later on in the chapter. Visit my author page for the link to the chapter songs.

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer wouldn't dream of putting her precious Edward through some of this shit, so she obviously had nothing to do with my flimsy excuse for a story. She owns every last bit of anything related to Twilight. I like my Edward dirtier.**

* * *

_So save your breath, I will not hear_

_I think I made it very clear_

_You couldn't hate enough to love_

_Is that supposed to be enough?_

_I only wish you weren't my friend_

_Then I could hurt you in the end_

_I never claimed to be a saint_

_My own was banished long ago_

_It took the death of hope to let you go_

"_Snuff" ~ Slipknot_

x

xo

xox

Edward woke slowly, feeling rested for the first time in days. His first thoughts were gratitude to whatever deity had allowed him to nap without bloody crime scene visions swimming through his head, but when he felt the warm body that was draped over him, he remembered exactly which goddess was responsible for his relaxed state.

He looked down at her sleeping face, beautiful in its slumber. Her long lashes rested against rosy cheeks that were amazingly still flushed, and her full lips parted on the most adorable little breathy snores that he had ever heard. At that moment, she could have started drooling on him and he would have found it cute.

_I can't believe she actually came back._

He wasn't a fool; he knew that she had been attempting to return the key. However, he also knew that she could have simply dropped it in the mail or returned it to the landlady downstairs. She didn't have to bring it back to this place, no matter what she had told herself. She had been fishing for a reason to come back, he knew it deep in his bones.

She hadn't been ready to admit what she wanted, even to herself; Edward could sense that. But he also knew that they would work on it. She seemed to like having her decisions made for her... the way she was happy to let him control everything and take the lead, and he could play that game for a while. Why not? It was a major turn on for him as well. But by the time he was done with her, he intended to have her demanding pleasure from him without one shred of modesty or shame.

Having a beautiful woman who was willing to let you control her body completely was hot... to a point. Edward knew that after a while, however, it could begin to feel a bit one-sided. His needs would be met, but how would he ever truly know if hers were? Now, having a woman who could turn right around after that and snap her fingers and bark an order? That was a thing of beauty.

_God, she certainly tasted like a thing of beauty. It was almost __**perfect**__._ The only thing that would have been better when he went down on her earlier was if she had first _told_ him to do it. He loved doing that above almost any other act, but so many women were embarrassed to ask for it. At least, that's what he'd heard. He didn't exactly have a large range of experience to go by, only Tanya and the fucked up threesomes she would sometimes throw together.

_Tanya._

Edward glanced down at the expensive watch on his wrist that she had given him, a pretentious birthday gift intended to showcase his wealth that had been purchased with his own money, and saw that it was getting late. He would need to get moving if he was going to keep his family from being royally pissed at him.

Hating himself for needing to disturb her, Edward placed his hand on her smooth shoulder, gently shaking her awake. "Hey beautiful," he whispered against her cheek. Her gorgeous eyes flickered open after a moment and looked up at him. "I really hate to cut this short, believe me, but I have somewhere I need to be soon."

She blinked a few more times, allowing his words to process, before looking around the room as if she was only starting to remember where she was. The dark haired beauty sat straight up then, covering her breasts with her hands when she realized that she was still nude.

_No use, darling, I've already got them memorized._

"Uh... no, that's fine," she said quietly. "I actually should have left a while ago. Is it after five?"

"Not yet, but soon."

"In that case, I _really_ need to go."

Edward enjoyed one last view of her heavenly backside as she jumped up and hurried into the other room, following the trail of clothing, searching out her own. He could tell from her frantic movements as she got dressed that she was about to start panicking again. Walking up behind her, completely unfazed by his own nudity, he grabbed her arms and turned her around to face him once she had pulled her shirt over her head.

"Listen," he said, as soon as she had managed to pull her gaze from his groin and settle on his face, another telltale blush coloring her cheeks. "I meant what I said earlier. You're taking that fucking key, so you might as well pick it up off the ground where you left it." He paused for a moment, making sure that she was paying attention. "And you're coming back."

"Yes," she whispered. "Yes... I'll be back. I'm not sure when... or how often. Weekends will be something of a problem."

"I don't care how, when, or why you do. Only that you _do_." He looked deep into her beautiful eyes, knowing that the moment she left again he would miss them terribly. Slowly leaning down and bringing his mouth to hers, he kissed her softly. "Goodbye for now." _My goddess._

"Goodbye... stranger." A small smile played on her lips.

As she backed away from him towards the door, he couldn't help but see that she spared one final glance down at his dick. A deep crimson spread across her features when she saw he'd noticed, which caused it to stiffen slightly under her regard. With one last barely audible squeak under her breath, she bent down to retrieve her things, shutting the door behind her and running down the stairs.

Glancing down at the offending member in question, Edward chuckled to himself. _Down boy! No time for that now. _He walked into the small bathroom and turned on the shower, eyeing the dark garment bag that hung on the back of the door as he stepped under the stream of water. He rinsed off his sweaty frame quickly, thinking to himself that there was no better sweat than sex sweat.

When he was finished, he stepped out onto the not-so-clean floor and cursed himself for forgetting to buy some towels. Praying that he air-dried quickly, Edward brushed out his hair with his fingertips, finally giving it up for a lost cause when it began sticking up at odd angles. _Fuck it._

He turned around to the garment bag, unzipping it slowly to reveal a designer suit that had been tailored to fit. This one was a dark charcoal gray color; he had a similar one in black that he planned on wearing the following day. As he tightened his silk tie in the mirror, he acknowledged that the suit he was wearing probably cost more than the average person earned in a month.

_We must always keep up appearances, isn't that right, dear? _On that thought, he went back into the front room and opened up the large tackle box that held his many art supplies. Sifting through the piles of loose brushes, he stopped when he found the elaborate platinum ring sitting at the bottom of one of the trays. Slipping it on his finger, he was surprised to feel how cold it was against his skin. There had once been a time when the metal had always been warm... a time when he'd vowed to never take it off.

"There," he said to himself, holding his hand out in front of him and flexing his fingers. "Charade complete."

He threw on his dress coat and made his way down to the Volvo, reminding himself as he got inside that he needed to contact the rental company soon about setting up an open-ended contract. He'd originally taken it out for a week, but now he had absolutely no idea how long he might stay. Living the life of a wealthy, eccentric nomad had left him with very few ties to any one place, so the duration of his visit was completely up to him.

As he pulled out of the lot he turned on the satellite radio, already set to one of his favorite hard rock stations. Whenever he was in the mood to start painting again, his musical preferences tended to lean more towards the aggressive side of the spectrum. Except for earlier that day; for some reason, something had made him get up and switch his iPod over from his _Painting Music_ playlist to a new one he'd just made that morning, simply titled _Fuck Songs_. And as if the reason for his playlist inspiration had been summoned by the music alone, there she had been... at his door again.

Shaking his head to clear it from the images of luscious pink and soft brown, he directed his attention to the song currently playing on the radio. Startled to find that it was actually a slow song, Edward paid closer attention. It was "_Snuff_" by the band Slipknot, who was normally much heavier sounding. He started to recognize the tune, but as it played he realized that he'd never listened to the lyrics.

_Bury all your secrets in my skin_

_Come away with innocence and leave me with my sins_

_The air around me still feels like a cage_

_And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again_

"OK, that's enough of _that_," Edward said out loud as he turned off the radio again, instantly uncomfortable with how closely the song mirrored his own emotions at the moment. He didn't need to sit in silence for long, though, since he was already spotting the sign for the _Volturi Family Funeral Home_ up ahead on the right.

After parking and heading inside, Edward looked around until he saw some familiar faces milling around the lobby. One of them was a small beauty with spiky black hair, and when she saw him approaching she smiled widely, excusing herself from the group of people she was talking with. A tall sandy-haired man followed closely behind her, unwilling to release her hand as she walked away.

"I knew you'd make it," she said, standing up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

"Did you really ever doubt me, Alice?"

"Of course not, but Jasper owes me five bucks." She nudged the man at her side, causing him to laugh nervously.

"Hey, I only said that I wouldn't blame him if he _didn't_ make it, not that he _wouldn't_."

"Oh whatever, you still owe me five bucks." She turned her teasing smile from her husband to Edward, her face growing more serious in the process. "I'm not going to ask you how you're doing again, obviously you are finding some way to maintain right now. But please keep in mind that we're all here for you. _Always_. You don't even have to talk about it, we can just hang out if you want." Dropping to a whisper, Alice added, "I miss you."

"Come here," Edward said, holding his arms out. Wrapping her in a tight hug, he leaned over and spoke in her ear. "Listen to me... I may not have been around much over the last few years, and this is a really shitty way to meet up again, but don't _ever_ think I don't remember that you were always the other half of me when we were growing up."

Alice and he were fraternal twins, Edward being older by a mere twenty-two minutes. They had been extremely close growing up, going so far as to have their own secret language between them that pissed off everyone else around them, especially their older brother Emmett.

"Thank you," she replied, hugging him even tighter. "But now I've got my own other half, and he makes me happier than I ever could have imagined. It makes me so sad to know that you've already lost yours."

_Oh, I don't think I'd quite put it that way, little sister. If you only knew the half of it. _

"Yes, well... these things happen."

Edward patted her on the back and shared a few pleasantries with her husband Jasper, who he hadn't gotten to know as well as he felt he should have for someone who was married to his twin. He vaguely remembered meeting him on occasion when Alice had first started bringing him home with her on her breaks from the University of Washington, or "U-Dub" as they liked to call it, but he had already been too deep into his studies at the Art Institute of Chicago and well on his way to becoming a first-class asshole to give a shit about him.

After a few more minutes of idle chit chat, they made their way into the main viewing room that had been marked with a sign that read _Tanya Cullen: Visitation from 6 to 8_. This was the same room that would hold her funeral service in the morning, and after that there would be a long line of expensive cars traveling from here to the cemetery.

As soon as Edward caught sight of the coffin at the far end of the narrow room he stopped in his tracks. _This is going to be a long two hours._ Luckily he wouldn't need to sit in the front row of folding chairs for all eyes to see tonight; they didn't even have the chairs set up yet. That would be tomorrow. For now, it was a wide open room, perfect for large masses of unknown faces to stand around like cattle and exchange stories about someone they hadn't spoken to in years... if they had even known her at all.

There was the odd chair here and there, set back in a private corner, as well as strategically placed boxes of tissues for the weepers. Every possible need was available at the drop of a hat; this place was a well-oiled machine. For the Volturi family, death was their business, and from the prices Edward had been quoted for this little get-together... business was good.

Making his way across the room, he was stopped numerous times by distant relatives and business associates of his father's. The gamut ran from cousins who had come all the way from Ireland that he hadn't seen since his teens... to an over-enthusiastic, ass-kissing OBGYN who Edward could have sworn had been flirting with him. Over and over again he would pause, shake their hands, listen to the same platitudes about life and death, politely refuse any offers of names for local grief counselors, all the while remembering to smile and nod at just the right times.

Eventually he was able to free himself long enough to grab a cup of coffee in the private lounge area. He had just sat down and taken a large drink when he heard footsteps entering the room. Glancing up towards the door, he was relieved to see a tall, fair-haired man approaching him. He was still very fit and attractive for his age, the only telltale signs that he was in his late fifties were the slight graying at his temples and the laugh lines around his eyes.

Setting down his cup, Edward stood to greet him. They hugged warmly, and as they pulled away, neither one completely let go of the other. "I thought I might find you in here," The older man said with a smile, but it didn't reach his eyes; they remained sad and full of concern.

"Sorry, I was trying to get over to you, but I just needed a minute. It was getting to be a little too much in there."

"I think that's more than understandable right now." He reached up and stroked his hand over the back of Edward's head, fighting the urge to ruffle his hair. "Besides, don't worry about us. We'll be here after all of this is over."

"Thanks, Dad."

"Where were you this morning? I was hoping to see you at breakfast, but you had already taken off."

"I was getting my studio set up. I wanted to get away for a while, that house is turning into Grand Central Station."

"Yes, I don't think I've ever seen quite so many casseroles before in my life," Carlisle Cullen said with a light chuckle. It seemed as if almost every hospital employee had stopped by the house over the last two days, all of them bearing some sort of comfort food. "Your mother mentioned that you were thinking of staying on for a while to work. I can't tell you how happy that makes me."

"Well, I'm not sure how long it will be... I just don't feel the need to run off quite yet. And I haven't had this strong of an urge to start painting again in a long time, so I want to take advantage of it while I can."

"That's wonderful. Maybe it's what you need right now to get your head straight."

"What do you mean?" Edward didn't miss the knowing look that his father gave him.

"Son... we know you're not sleeping well. Your mother and I can hear you screaming at night. You have just been through something very traumatic, and you won't talk to anyone about it. Perhaps this urge to work again is a way for your body to release some of the emotions you are bottling up."

"Perhaps. I don't know much about that stuff," Edward shrugged.

"Well, whatever the reason, I'm just thrilled that you will be in town longer. We have all missed you. I know that you like your privacy and I don't expect to see you at the dinner table every day, but it makes me feel better just knowing that you are close by."

Edward sighed, an uncomfortable look on his face. "Dad... I know I've been... distant. I'm sorry I haven't really been around for such a long time."

Carlisle smiled, patting him lightly on the shoulder. "Don't be silly. I know how it is to be young and in love. Sometimes it can feel like nothing else in the world exists. You and Tanya were quite the glamorous jet-setters, art shows around the world. Who could blame you for getting wrapped up in that?"

Edward smiled back, not having the heart to correct his assumptions. Maybe one day he would set him straight, but for now he couldn't stomach the idea of seeing the light of respect die in his father's eyes.

"Were you ready to return to the viewing room? I noticed you haven't had the chance to view the body yet."

"I don't know if I'm going to be up to it tonight. You go on ahead, I'll be there in a minute." Edward picked his rapidly cooling coffee back up and began to sip it, effectively ending the discussion.

"Alright... I'll see you in a bit." Carlisle walked towards the door, stopping when his hand touched the knob. "You know, Edward," he turned back around. "You really won't have the closure you need if you don't say your goodbyes. It might feel overwhelming at the moment, but you'll regret it later. I never made it back to London for my father's memorial. He'd been doing missionary work in Africa when he got sick; by the time word got 'round to me here in America that he had passed, the tribe he'd been living with had already disposed of his body according to their own customs, per his wishes.

I was doing my internship in Chicago back then, and it was nearly impossible for me to get any time off. I foolishly thought that it was pointless to go home for a service with nothing but a picture on a table." He looked Edward directly in the eye before adding quietly, "I've never forgiven myself."

Edward watched him leave, grimacing at the now cold coffee as he swallowed the last of it down. He took a deep breath and went outside, stopping off at the restroom on his way back. When he entered the hall and started walking towards the viewing room, a loud voice echoed in the hallway behind him, causing him to jump.

"_Edward_."

He recognized the voice instantly. _Oh Christ, this is all I need right now._ He turned around to find two women staring back at him, one of them standing with her arms crossed, tapping her foot. They were both tall and strikingly beautiful, their hair a familiar shade of strawberry blonde.

"Irina," he nodded at the foot tapper. "Katrina," he said to the woman on her left, pleased to see that she hadn't started sneering at him yet, unlike her sister. "Where are Laurent and Garrett? Did they stay back in Alaska?" He couldn't imagine they had; these women never went anywhere without their handsome, wealthy husbands. They had both raised the act of being a trophy wife to an art form.

"They're both inside," Irina spat out. She marched straight up to him until their noses were practically touching. "What I'd like to know is what you have got to say for yourself?"

"About what?" he asked, gently resting a fingertip on her collarbone and pushing slowly until she finally took the hint and backed up a few steps.

"About how you drug our poor sister halfway around the world, never let her talk to us whenever we tried to call, and left her alone to die in some fleabag motel!"

"Irina," he returned calmly, his icy tone having a much more chilling effect than her impotent rage. "You have absolutely _no_ idea what was going on with her at the end. And I certainly didn't _drag_ her anywhere. That woman went nowhere she didn't want to be, believe me." He looked from one sister to another, marveling that they both had Tanya's cold blue eyes, and they already appeared to be just as emotionless as hers had become. "Now, I understand and respect that you are grieving right now, but this is my wife's funeral. I will not stand here and listen to another one of your little tantrums."

"He's right," Katrina finally piped up beside her, resting her hand on Irina's shoulder. "We are all upset about this. We shouldn't take it out on him."

"Kate, how can you say that? You even said it yourself; there was no reason for her to kill herself."

"We hadn't talked to her in months. We have no way of knowing what was going on in her head."

Irina started sobbing. "She was _fabulous_! And _beautiful_! And the life of the party! She was _not_ depressed!" Kate held her sister closely as she crumbled, her frosty demeanor cracking for the first time since Edward had met her over ten years ago.

Kate looked over her sister's shoulder at Edward, an apologetic look on her face. He nodded, as if to say that he understood, and wasted no time in turning around and heading into the viewing room. He knew that even if Irina felt like ranting again, she would never do it in front of so many witnesses.

//LTIF\\

Before long it was after eight o'clock, and most of the guests had filtered out. Emmett and Rosalie had gone ahead with Alice and Jasper to open up the house; much of the extended family would be stopping over for refreshments before heading back to their hotel rooms. There was going to be an even larger luncheon the following day after the funeral, and the Cullen household was likely to resemble a madhouse.

Edward was left standing in the viewing room with his parents, both of them hugging him close. When they pulled apart, his mother leaned up to kiss his cheek.

"Darling, we're going to head out. I think some of Tanya's family might be stopping by, too. I want to make sure I've got enough food to put out. I can't say I'm looking forward to it; her sisters aren't the most pleasant bunch I've ever met. Do you know that tall one actually had the nerve to tell me that we never should have had this here?"

"That sounds like Irina," Edward said. "I'm sure she thinks that we should have taken Tanya home to be buried in Alaska."

"Well that's silly," Esme huffed. "She was a Cullen for years. The family plot is here." She suddenly looked worried. "You don't think she would have rather been laid to rest there, do you?"

"No... I can safely say that she would have wanted this." _She fought hard enough to keep that last name, there's no way in hell she wouldn't want permanent residence in the family plot._

"Well that's good. Are you coming, sweetheart?"

"I'm not sure yet. It's been a really long day. I don't know if I can face all those people again, just to turn around and do it again in the morning. You go on ahead."

"Alright. You do whatever you need to do. If I don't see you tonight, just remember that the funeral starts at eleven." She kissed him one more time before grabbing Carlisle's hand.

"Goodnight, son," he added, before turning with his wife and walking out of the room.

Edward stood in the empty room, rubbing at his eyes and running his fingers through his hair. He heard the door open up again and turned, thinking his parents had forgotten something. He was surprised when instead, he came face to face with a tall Italian man in a black suit. Edward recalled in the back of his mind that he was the owner of the funeral parlor.

"Please excuse me, Mr. Cullen. I thought everyone had left for the evening." Aro Volturi bowed his head slightly in apology.

"I was just about to leave." He began to walk towards the door when something made him stop. "Actually... might I have a few more minutes? I won't be long."

"Of course, sir. Take your time." The man left as suddenly as he had appeared.

For the first time since he had arrived, Edward turned to face the coffin. Walking slowly to the other end of the room where it was displayed, he took in the sight of his wife... or what was left of her. She looked like a sleeping porcelain doll, with long lashes resting on rosy cheeks. Edward couldn't help thinking that she had never looked so warm in her entire life.

"Hello Tanya. You look much better than when I saw you last." He shook his head to clear it of the instant blood soaked images that flashed in his mind.

He looked around at all of the flower arrangements. There were large sprays of roses and carnations and lilies with ribbons that said her different associations with the mourners: Daughter... Sister... _Wife_. That one was the largest.

"I can't believe you did this to me, you selfish bitch." He stared at her closely, willing her to wake up and fight back. Sighing deeply, he continued. "Well... you got exactly what you wanted. A fairytale fucking ending. The tragic princess and the weeping prince. Everyone thinks that we were hopelessly in love." He looked at her again, as if she had spoken to him. "Don't worry... I didn't ruin your little charade. I figured that I at least owed you that. But it's been really hard walking around here playing the doting husband after the way we left things."

He turned and sank down to the ground, his back against the stand of the casket. With his head in his hands, he kept talking. "I just can't believe that this is what you chose. I always knew you were self-centered, but that's exactly why I _never_ thought you'd take this route. There is no way in hell I'd have ever guessed you could fathom a world without you in it, no matter how fucked up you were in the end.

And you know what pisses me off the most? The fact that you just left me here to pick up all the pieces, taking the coward's way out. You didn't even leave a note. You knew it was much more glamorous to be left a mystery."

He started crying then, surprised that the emotion he was feeling actually matched his tears. He was _sad... _for the first time all week, he was having an appropriate reaction to what was going on around him. He was feeling again... and it hurt like a mother fucker.

"You left me here, Tanya. All alone. We may not have been in love anymore... if we ever were... but you were always my friend." He was sobbing freely now, his words coming out in gasps. "No matter how bad it got between us... no matter how many people you fucked... no matter how high you got... no matter how many horrible things you said to me when you were fucked up... you were all I had in the world! You made me so goddamn codependent over the years, keeping me away from anything else you didn't approve of... the _one_ time I grow a fucking backbone and put my foot down, you pull _this_ shit!"

He wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand, wishing he could go back to feeling numb.

"You might have been a horrible wife, but you had been a good friend once. You were always cold and superficial, but you seemed to get me when nobody else did. _Dammit_!" He slammed his fist into the ground. "I didn't want you to fucking _DIE_! That's what I was trying to avoid by leaving. I was trying to make you get some help!" He crossed his arms on his knees and buried his face in them. "I always hoped one day I'd get my friend back." It was barely a whisper.

After a few moments of quiet sobs, he stood back up and looked at her one more time.

"I'm sorry that you couldn't deal with things in any other way. I'm sorry that you're not still alive. But right now.... I really fucking hate you. And I hate myself even more for how this all turned out." With that he turned and walked towards the door. When he was halfway there he called back over his shoulder.

"I should have left you years ago."

He got in his car and just started driving, tears running freely down his face. When he finally parked the car, he realized that he had gone right back to the apartment. As soon as he made his way upstairs, he collapsed face first onto the mattress in the bedroom.

He was asleep as soon as he smelled her scent on the pillow.

xox

xo

x

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Alright, what are your thoughts? Click that review button and let me know.

Just remember that more will come out later.


	6. Just One Fix

Well, seems like you are all still into it, so how about another chapter?

There are no new playlists for this chapter, but both songs mentioned are on lists that are already up.

Be sure to visit my author page for direct links to these playlists: Chapter title songs & Edward's Fuck Songs.

**Disclaimer: If Stephenie Meyer knew what I made her precious characters do, she would slap me in the face. She owns it all. I merely make it pervy.**

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_Never trust a junkie._

"_Just One Fix" ~ Ministry_

x

xo

xox

As the morning light filtered through the curtains, it landed in various colored streaks across three sleeping forms. One particularly bright beam landed on a small furry face, causing one angled golden eye to open and peer about the room.

After stretching his limbs and back muscles, Wembley stood and slowly ambled across the mattress. He glanced at his brother's curled up body as he tip-toed past him, not stopping until he was staring his mommy straight in the face. Leaning in until they were almost touching noses, he sniffed at her once before deciding to take action.

"_Mrowwrr_"

"Ugh..." Bella groaned, trying to roll away from the offending noise but finding herself trapped. She opened her eyes and looked around, realizing that at some point in the night she had rolled onto her stomach and Boober had curled up on top of the covers between her legs. She laid her head back down on the pillow for a moment, reliving every ache and sore muscle that was becoming apparent now.

Her body had never been worked so thoroughly in her life.

She had spent the entire night after returning home trying not to walk funny in front of her father. When Charlie had finally noticed a slight limp she simply played it off as a result of overexerting herself at the gym. _Hmm... overexertion... that's a mother fucking understatement._

"_Mrowwrrrr!"_

"Alright, Wembley," Bella sighed. "Let Momma up, babies." She wiggled her legs until Boober moved, allowing her the freedom to get out of the rumpled sheets. Moaning and stretching as she stood, she threw on a robe and went downstairs to feed her cats.

Sitting down at the table with a bowl of cereal, Bella wasn't surprised to find the usual Saturday morning note from her father explaining that he would be gone all day fishing. Rolling her eyes at the thought of even more fish in the freezer, she finished her breakfast and set about finishing her weekend chores.

As she threw in a load of laundry and cleaned the bathroom, she did her best to avoid thinking about the amazing things that had happened to her yesterday in that crappy apartment. Bella knew that dwelling on it would only drive her crazy, and if she actually intended on repeating her less than noble actions, she would have to learn to cope with the feelings of withdrawal whenever she went back to her less than interesting life.

She knew that she had been unfaithful and disloyal. She also knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this man had made her feel more alive in two days than she had ever felt in her entire life. This was a fleeting affair; she had absolutely no idea how long he would be around, and that uncertainty made her want to lock herself away with him in that apartment, soaking up every ounce of passion she could get her hands on until it was time to go back to her bleak reality.

It was a limited time offer that she couldn't ignore. Sort of like whenever the McRib came back; she would gorge herself stupid on them for fear that each time she ate one might turn out to be the very _last_ time.

And this guy tasted _way_ the fuck better than a McRib.

Bella knew that she would go back, even _she_ couldn't fool herself that much; no amount of guilt could keep her away. However, knowing how easily she tended to cling to things, she forced herself to acknowledge that she needed to get a grip early on. He could honestly leave any day; he didn't even want to know her name. He was only good for providing one thing right now, and when that was gone... she would never have it again.

_Just have a good time. Enjoy it while it lasts. And for God's sake, STOP THINKING ABOUT IT!_

Bella shook it off again, diving back into her housework. She had just folded the last of Charlie's clean shirts when she remembered that she was supposed to spend the afternoon with Jacob. She went back into her bedroom and grabbed her cell phone from its charger. After making sure that she hadn't missed any calls while she was vacuuming, Bella quickly pulled up his number and hit the send button, waiting as it rang.

And rang.

When it finally went to voicemail, she left him a brief message and jumped in the shower. After she was dressed she tried him again. On her fourth try he finally answered.

"Mmm... yeah?" he murmured into the phone.

"Jesus, Jake, it's almost eleven. You're still sleeping?" Her tone came off much harsher than she had intended.

"Ugh..." his groan echoed through the phone, followed by the rustling of sheets as he rolled away from the sunlight. "Sorry, Babe... I'm still sleeping it off."

"Out late again with Sam and the guys?"

"Yeah." She could hear him rubbing his hands over his face, trying to wake up. "Card game over at Paul's. What's up?"

"Well, I thought you wanted to hang out today. I was just calling to see what was going on before I went to the grocery store." Bella did her best not to sound huffy, reminding herself that she hadn't spared him one thought all morning. Only one week ago they would have been arguing by now; she would have called him all morning and been offended that he had yet again made plans and not followed through with them. But now? Now she had to remind herself that Jake even existed.

If she was honest with herself, she had been too busy wondering how soon was _too soon _to return to the apartment. She had been too worried about how she was going to last _all fucking weekend_ without seeing her beautiful stranger again.

Jake had become merely a chore.

Engulfed by a fresh wave of guilt, Bella focused on the conversation again. "Anyway, I was about to go get some stuff to make for dinner. Did you want to come pick me up?"

"Ugh... now?" he groaned again, coughing sharply. "Babe, I'm... I'm _really_ fucking hung over here. I could use another hour or two. Besides, the Rabbit is running for shit right now. I didn't even take it out last night."

"Okay," she sighed.

"Listen... let me rest a little bit more. You go to the store and come get me when you're done. We'll have a movie night at your place."

"Alright, but that won't even take me a half hour. You said you needed some time." Bella could hear him moaning into his pillow, his annoyance becoming more apparent the longer he was kept awake.

"Then go do something else first. How 'bout you go to the gym? You like that, right?"

After a few seconds of silence Bella finally answered. "You know, Jake... I think that's a fine idea."

"M'kay... see you later," he mumbled, already drifting back to sleep. "Love you."

"Yeah." _Click._

//LTIF\\

Twenty minutes later, Bella was pulling her truck to a stop at an intersection across town. When the light turned green, she began moving forward slowly until she noticed that all of the traffic in her rearview mirror was pulling over to the side of the road. She followed suit, quickly getting out of the way for whatever emergency vehicle might be coming.

Craning her neck out her driver's side window and giving in to her most base rubbernecking tendencies, she was surprised to see a large black hearse come into view. _Oh shit, a funeral. Well, there goes a half hour of my day. _

Deciding to stop being a bitch and show some proper respect, Bella threw the truck in park and got out, waiting for the procession to pass her by. She could tell from the long line of cars that it would be a while, but she just pasted a smile on her face and reminded herself that she was lucky to merely be watching rather than participating.

As the hearse passed Bella, her attention was drawn to the black stretch limo that followed. When it pulled along side her on its way through the intersection, she was startled to see one of the dark tinted windows rolling down and a well-manicured hand waving at her.

"Bella!" a familiar voice called out. Elegantly styled blonde hair came into view, followed by a genuinely sweet smile. It was Rosalie Cullen. _This must be the family funeral they mentioned the other day._

Bella waved back at her slowly, completely stunned that she had remembered her once again. She was granted one more beautiful smile before the window rolled back up slowly and the car drove away, leaving her to watch the long procession begin.

"Who are you waving at, baby?" a deep voice asked from inside the limousine.

Rosalie turned to face her husband. "That's Bella, honey. Remember that nurse I told you about from my doctor's office?"

Emmett thought back for a moment. "Is she the one with the smart-ass sense of humor?"

"That's her!" she smiled. "I don't know what it is about her, but she just always cheers me up. I think she'd be really fun to hang out with sometime. Maybe next time we're in town?"

"Fine by me," he replied, looking back over his shoulder at the pretty brunette standing by a massive clunker of a truck. "She looks sweet. Doesn't look old enough to be a nurse, though."

"She's only a few years younger than us, I think. Around thirty. And she's an _excellent_ nurse. I think she was seriously made for it, with the way she handles people." Rosalie thought for a moment before quietly saying to herself, "She puts everyone else first. She deserves to have some fun."

Emmett turned his attention to his brother, who was sitting on his other side, staring blankly out the window at the opposite side of the street. "Hey Edward, did you get a load of that old Chevy? How the hell could such a small girl maneuver that monster?"

"Huh?" He looked up at him, obviously distracted. When he realized what he'd been asked he glanced back through the rear window, but could barely make out the shape of a truck in the distance. "No, sorry," he mumbled, returning his gaze to the melting snowbanks.

Bella watched as the long black car disappeared down the street, followed by a line of luxury vehicles that stretched out for almost ten minutes. Shivering from the crisp January air, she climbed back into the cab of her truck and waited for the last car to clear the intersection before driving through it herself.

This time, she still parked out front of the gym, but rather than bothering to stop off at the locker room first, she went straight to the back of the building and out the alley door. Bella had worn her workout clothes straight from home, thus negating the need to waste any more time packing her bag or changing here at the gym. Today she wore a pair of black flared warm up pants and a white t-shirt that had _Team Building Exercise '99_ across the front in dark blue letters. She figured that the pretense of exercising was still necessary in case anyone ever bothered to actually pay attention to her while she was here, but she still wanted to be as fast as possible this morning.

_I can't believe I'm back here so soon. This was only supposed to be a one time thing! _

She knocked on the door, not wanting to barge in, and was surprised that there was no response. Bella put her ear to the door, listening for any sounds. _Well, he said anytime._ She fished her key ring out of her jacket pocket, looking for her newest addition. As she felt the key turn in the lock, an unbelievable thrill ran through her body. It was as if she was unlocking the cage that held her deepest desires in check.

"Hello?" she called out, slowly closing the door. "Stranger?" she said with a smile. Bella walked around the apartment, making sure he wasn't in another room. _Damn_.

She took in the newly treated canvas that stood on an easel in the front room. It was large... and completely blank. She wondered what sort of images might end up there. Would it be a realistic still life... or something more abstract?

She looked at the small table off to the side, covered in tubes of various colors of oil paint and an unused palette. Bella was struck with a vision of her beautiful stranger standing there, shirtless in blue jeans, covered in streaks and splatters of paint as he violently attacked the canvas. _God... I'll bet that man is sexy as fuck when he paints. _

She walked over to a shelf on the opposite wall, noticing the iPod sitting in its dock. Turning it on, Bella began searching through the playlists, wondering what type of music he preferred. She found one titled _Painting Music_ that was full of some great rock songs, but the one labeled _Fuck Songs_ really made her take a closer look.

She hit play and was immediately taken back to the previous afternoon. As the Prodigy song played, she couldn't stop herself from looking over at the door, remembering how it had felt when he had lifted her against it. He had been so strong, so forceful. He knew what he wanted the moment he saw her at the door. And it had been _amazing_.

Bella walked into the bedroom and sat down on the mattress. She couldn't shake the memories of his hands and his mouth on her body, and the music was only making it worse. She laid back against the pillow to close her eyes and was hit with an overwhelming wave of his scent. _Oh fuck... that's all I need! _Rolling over and burying her face in the pillow, she inhaled deeply, feeling a sudden warmth spread throughout her body and settle between her legs.

_What the hell is this man doing to me?_

She heard the song switch over and realized that the iPod must be set on shuffle, since something totally different started than the New Order song she had been expecting. Another sexy beat began to play, causing Bella to groan when she recognized that it was "_Tear You Apart_" by She Wants Revenge.

_Jesus Christ! What is it with this guy? It's like his musical taste is directly connected to my vagina._

She rolled over onto her back, letting her hands roam along her body. Between the music, the memories, and his intoxicating scent, Bella was well and truly drunk with lust. By the second verse of the song, her fingers were slipping beneath the lace of her panties and she was wishing she had brought her little vibrating friend.

_I want to hold you close_

_Skin pressed against me tight_

_Lie still, and close your eyes girl_

_So lovely, it feels so right_

Bella was really getting into it after that, sliding through her slick folds, swirling her fingers around her swollen bundle of nerves. Visions of smoldering jade eyes and perfect pink lips filled her mind. She could see him there, above her, making her body sing. Her fingers became his fingers, stroking her more firmly, sinking inside her.

_I want to hold you close_

_Soft breath, beating heart_

_As I whisper in your ear_

_I want to fucking tear you apart_

"Oh God," she moaned, her fingers plunging even deeper inside her. She could smell him... she could feel him... and if she concentrated hard enough, she could hear him. His rich, sultry voice kept replaying over and over in her mind. _Yes... yes... you feel so fucking good... come for me... come for me now!_

"Fuck!" Bella convulsed around her fingers, shaking and moaning. She had never climaxed so intensely by herself, even _with_ her little vibrating friend. Ever since this man had come into her life, every single thing that was remotely sexual was magnified by a thousand.

She rested there for a few minutes, collecting herself. When it became apparent that she would not have time to wait for her mystery man any longer, she pouted briefly before deciding to have one last little bit of fun. Taking her pants off for a moment, she slid her now thoroughly wet panties down her legs and slipped them off, pulling her pants back on.

She placed the small scrap of lacy fabric in the middle of the pillow and walked back into the front room, looking for a scrap of paper. Spying a brand new sketch book on the floor by the easel, she ripped out one of the blank pages and grabbed the pencil that was next to it. After scribbling a quick note, she kissed the paper, leaving a very clear lipstick outline, and folded it up. Once it was placed on top of her discarded panties, she smiled to herself.

_No reason I can't let him know what he missed._

Bella turned off the iPod and locked the door behind her, sad to be returning to her daily grind so soon, and without seeing the only person she had hoped to see. After she left, she stopped off at the grocery store and purchased all the ingredients to the pasta dish she wanted to make later, along with some ice cream for dessert.

When she was done there, she directed her truck towards the La Push reservation, pulling off the road into the gravel driveway of a small red house. Parking the truck but leaving the engine running, she walked up to the door and knocked, praying that Jake was the one who answered. He wasn't.

"Hey there!" said a middle aged man sitting in a wheelchair, backing up to make room for the door as it swung open. "How's my little Bella?" he slurred.

"Hey Billy."

"Haven't seen you 'round for a while. How you likin' my old pick up?"

"Good, it's good. Jake did a great job fixing it up."

"Yeah, well... I s'pose. Wanna come in?" he backed up a bit more and gestured to the small kitchen behind him.

"Oh no, no. I really can't stay. I'm just here to pick up Jake. Is he up yet?"

"Who knows? I think I heard him moving around in there a while ago." Billy Black spun his chair around and made his way into the hallway, yelling. "Jacob! Get your ass out here! Your girl is out here waiting on you!"

Bella heard another door open. "Yeah, yeah. Stop shouting. My head is fucking killing me." Loud footsteps echoed as he walked into the kitchen. "Hey, Babe. Sorry about the wait," he said as he grabbed a jacket from the back of one of the chairs.

Jake stood before her, well over six feet tall and very muscular. By all accounts he was extremely attractive, beautiful even, in his own way, and had always seemed to be more than enough for Bella in the past. But now... he was _too_ tall... _too_ muscular. His deep brown eyes that had always looked so warm to her were now the wrong color. They weren't jade... and they didn't smolder.

"That's OK, I—"

"Jake!" Billy interrupted from behind him. "When you gonna be home?"

Jake rolled his eyes and threw on his coat, heading for the door. "I don't know. Later." He turned his attention to Bella. "Let's get the hell out of here."

"Well don't forget you need to do the laundry later," Billy called after him as he was closing the door. "And bring back another bottle!"

"Jesus Christ," Jacob muttered under his breath. When they reached the truck he stopped and grabbed Bella's arm before she could walk around to the other side. " Hey, come here." He pulled her into a big hug. "Sorry about that. I didn't hear you pull up, or else I would have been at the door. He misses you, though. It's nice for him to get to see you once in a while."

"Jake, he doesn't even really know me," she said as she broke the hug prematurely, walking around to the driver's side. "I barely remember him from when we were little, and we don't exactly hang out now."

"Well, we _could_, if you would ever do dinner over here. He would love your cooking, and he's always on his best behavior whenever you're around."

Bella didn't respond to that; she simply pulled out as fast as she could and got back on the main road that headed into town. Jake still failed to realize that sitting around and watching his dad get hammered while he yelled at him all night was not exactly her idea of relaxing. And if that was what he considered to be Billy's _best_ behavior, then she would certainly hate to see anything worse.

A few awkward hours later, dinner eaten and bowls of ice cream in hand, they both sat down in Bella's living room to watch a movie.

"What did you want to watch tonight? Did you have anything in mind?" Bella asked as she sat down on the couch with one knee bent underneath her.

"Just don't make me watch that fucking _Eagle Vs. Shark_ movie again, _please,_" he responded, grabbing the remote and flipping through cable channels.

"I wasn't going to... but that _is_ my favorite movie. Chances are I might wanna watch it again sometime."

"Then watch that shit on your own time, seriously. I can't understand one fucking word they say in that thing. What the hell language are they even speaking in there?"

"Jake, they are speaking English! They just have New Zealand accents. You get used to it." She was tired of arguing about it, so she decided to just drop it. He wasn't even looking at her anyway; he hadn't taken his eyes off the channel guide since he sat down.

"Whatever, I'll take your word for it," he mumbled. "Ooh! Check it out, _Blade_ is just starting. I haven't seen that in years! Is that cool with you?"

"Yeah, sure." She sat back and started eating her ice cream, wondering why Jake was suddenly starting to seem much more annoying than he ever had before. _Don't take it out on him. It's not his fault you didn't get to cheat on him today, you selfish bitch. _

As the movie started, Bella soon realized that it must have been a long time since she had seen it, too. In the opening scene, where Traci Lords drags her unsuspecting victim to the the underground vampire bloodbath rave, they are all dancing and grinding to "_Confusion_" by New Order. _Oh shit!_

She sat up with a gasp, nearly dropping her bowl on the floor in the process. She had completely forgotten that song was in the movie, and once again, the moment she heard it start she was flooded with images of the most amazing sex she'd ever had.

"I know, this is a cool scene, isn't it?" Jake said over his shoulder in response to her gasp. He was perched on the edge of the couch and hunched over his bowl of ice cream.

Bella sat back again, relieved that he hadn't seen the instant blush that had risen on her face. _Dammit! I am NEVER going to get him out of my mind! _

//LTIF\\

Later that night across town, Edward was finally getting back after his grueling day of playing the tragic widower. He had spent all evening at his parents' house after the funeral service, eating his mother's fruit tarts in between watching Irina's numerous outbursts for attention.

He was exhausted. The only thing that had gotten him through the day was his ability to let his mind drift away and focus on his amazing memories from the day before. He would have given anything to have his brunette goddess there at that moment.

Stripping off his suit, he briefly debated starting on his new painting, but decided that he was just too tired. He thought that perhaps a nap first might help, and then he could start working whenever he was inevitably woken up with another nightmare.

Crawling onto the mattress in his boxer briefs, he was surprised to find something resting on his pillow. He rolled over and switched on the cheap lamp he had sitting on the floor. When he rolled back over, he couldn't believe what he saw.

Sitting right in the middle of the pillow was a pair of lacy blue panties, and on top of them was a note. It was simply addressed _Stranger_. When he unfolded it and read what was inside, he nearly cried out from a mixture of frustration and arousal.

_Dear Stranger,_

_I'm sorry I missed you today._

_I tried to wait, but don't worry._

_I found a way to entertain myself._

_Here's a souvenir._

And next to that, there was a kiss mark on the paper from her lipstick. She had been there.

He set the note to the side and picked up the panties with a hand that he noticed was shaking. Unfolding them, his attention was drawn immediately to the fact that they had been quite damp earlier today. _Fuck!_ He would have much rather found them when they were freshly wet rather than almost dry, but that fact didn't seem to have any effect on the raging erection he was now sporting.

Edward was angry that he had missed her, but he was so turned on by this bold gesture from her that his eyes were nearly crossing. Lifting them to his face, he inhaled deeply and was gifted with a fresh, potent wave of her heady scent. His cock twitched in approval.

"Fuck!" he groaned into the material. His hand was shaking again as he held it to his face, breathing her in, even going so far as to lick and suck the flimsy scrap of lace. His other hand had already freed himself from his boxers and started working his shaft in harsh, angry strokes.

"God, yessss," he moaned loudly, overcome with visions of her perfect breasts as they were bouncing in his face, and how eagerly she had perched on his shoulders to let him dine on her delicious pussy.

"You taste so fucking good," Edward whispered, as if she were there and could hear him. "I could smell you all day."

He gripped his erection even harder, swirling his thumb around the tip on the upstroke, imagining it was her tongue. "Yesss... please... I want to feel your mouth on me." She hadn't granted him the pleasure of reciprocating oral sex yesterday, and the only thing he'd been able to think about since then that wasn't a direct memory was how it would feel to have her beautiful, plump lips wrapped around his cock.

Smelling her delectable pussy while he stroked himself made it that much easier to imagine having her on top of him, facing away as she took him in her mouth, leaving him to feast on her yet again. He could hear her muffled cries as she moaned around him, letting him thrust between her lips over and over again. "Oh fuck... _yes_!"

His entire body began to shudder, and he knew that he was close. With a supreme effort, Edward pulled her panties away from his face and wrapped them around his cock, stroking himself roughly until he was spurting his release all over the fabric.

Despite what he had just done to them, he was unable to let go of her panties; choosing instead to curl up on his side and clutch them to his chest like a beloved stuffed animal.

After that, the room was completely silent, other than the quiet "Thank you" he whispered into his pillow.

He had no nightmares that night.

xox

xo

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So, what did you guys think about that near miss in the limo? Click that review button and let me know!

Side note: Eagle Vs. Shark actually IS one of my all time favorite movies, and hardly anyone I know has ever heard of it. If you are looking for an awkward, quirky story about awkward, quirky people eventually finding love, than this is for you! (Think Napolean Dynamite, only older and with Kiwi accents. Plus, it's got Jemaine Clement in a mullet. I mean, what could ever be wrong with that?) ;-p


	7. Oh My God

Alright, peeps, I think it's time to steam things up again!

Be sure to check out my author page for the link to the new playlist, "Bella's Sexy Songs".

**Stephenie Meyer is lord and master of this sparkly domain. She owns everything, I own nothing. (Except the only spare copy of the key to Strangerward's apartment!)**

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* * *

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_Put me on the table, make me say your name_

_If I can't remember, then give me all your pain_

_I can sit and listen, or I can make you scream_

_Kiss it and make it better, just put your trust in me_

_Oh my God, go a little slower_

_Oh my God, what was that again_

_La da da, let me feel you baby_

_Let me in, cause I understand_

_Let me feel you baby, cause I understand_

"_Oh My God" ~ Pink_

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xo

xox

Sunday absolutely fucking sucked.

Bella had been a cranky shit the entire day, scowling to herself as she cooked even_ more_ stupid fucking fish for Charlie, making sure to use his stupid fucking fish fry. She understood fishing as a sport, but kept wondering why the hell they had to actually _eat_ the shit so much. Couldn't he hand it out at the station? Or sell it to the diner?

She had always loved Sunday dinner with her father in the past. It was the one day he stayed home and spent time with her, and sometimes Jake would come over and make it feel like a real family dinner. It was the one day she used to look forward to, always viewing it as a true day of rest with a lovely dinner to top it off.

This Sunday was no different than any other Sunday, but for some reason everything kept pissing her off. The entire day had been sullied. When she had watched her father sitting on his lazy ass in front of the TV while she gutted and cleaned _his_ fish, she started realizing that it wasn't exactly much of a day of rest, at least not for her. And when she had stood there sweating over a frying pan making _his_ dinner, trying to avoid kicking her cats as they circled around her legs in hopes of renegade fish entrails hitting the floor, she had almost thrown the can at his head when he called out for her to bring him another beer.

"Why are you so moody?" Charlie had finally asked her when they were sitting at the table and she had slammed the shaker down in front of him after he had asked her to pass the pepper.

_Well Dad, because I didn't get fucked rotten yesterday the way I wanted to, and then I was stuck here waiting on you hand and foot all day, so I had no chance to sneak out and get fucked rotten again today!_

"I'm not moody!" Bella snapped. She took a deep breath and counted to five, reminding herself that it wasn't fair to take it out on him; she seemed to be doing that a lot lately. "Sorry... I've just got a bad headache."

He shrugged and kept eating, thus ending the longest bout of concern he had shown for her in months. It wasn't that Charlie was indifferent to Bella, she just so rarely complained about anything that he never felt the need to ask anymore.

Monday morning wasn't much better.

Half an hour into her shift, people were going out of their way to steer clear of Bella. Jessica was afraid to call back any new patient charts after she had been snapped at and hung up on, and even poor James was doing his fair share of tiptoeing around her. By the time Bella actually got pissy with Dr. Wylde when she asked her to run some extra tests on the mayor's sister, Angela had seen enough.

"Bella, what the hell is wrong with you today?" she whispered harshly, pulling her aside in the hallway.

"That nasty bitch is here all the time for one STD test or another, and with the lamest excuses! I can't believe Victoria buys that shit!"

"Yeah, we all know that; it's like she never heard of condoms. But it's Victoria's job to treat her, and it's _your_ job to help her do that. You've been biting everybody's head off all morning. What the fuck is up your ass today?"

_Nothing! That's the problem!_

"It's nothing. I just... guess I don't feel very good today," she hedged.

"Well that's obvious," Angela replied with a laugh. "Bella, is everything OK? I've never seen you quite this grouchy before, and I remember when you tried to come to work with the flu."

"I'm sorry... I don't know what's wrong with me. It was just sort of a bad weekend." She sighed deeply before adding, "I don't really want to be here right now."

"Well you only have an hour left. It should go fast."

"An hour? What? What are you talking about?"

"Jeez, Bella... you really _are_ out of it today. Don't you remember? Victoria is going to some lecture at the hospital this afternoon. She canceled afternoon clinic."

"Oh my God!" Bella reached out and hugged Angela. "That is excellent!"

For the rest of her shift, Bella had a much sunnier disposition.

/LTIF\\

After rushing through her locker room routine, Bella quickly stashed her gym bag and ran up the back stairway to the apartment. She could hear the loud music blaring as she climbed the steps; it was an old System of a Down song. Hearing the confirmation of his presence sent a wave of heat through her body. _He's here!_

This time, she didn't even knock.

She went straight for her key, sliding it into the lock as if she lived there. When she felt the tumblers click into place her heart skipped a beat.

Opening the door slowly, Bella thought she was prepared for anything. She was wrong.

She was not prepared to find her beautiful stranger just as she'd imagined him: shirtless, jeans hanging low on his hips, his well-toned body splattered with various colors of paint. Since his back was to her and the music was so loud, he didn't hear her enter.

Bella stood mesmerized as he moved his arm back and forth across the canvas in long, rapid strokes. The large brush he was wielding was covered in a deep blood-red mixture, and his frantic movements left what almost appeared to be bloody streaks and splatters on the painting. As he shifted to his side, she could see other shapes and figures, one of them almost looking like an abstract, dangling arm with a cut wrist. Although it was still a work in progress, the overall effect was rather violent... and unbelievably powerful.

_He_ looked powerful. And just as she'd suspected, he also looked sexy as fuck.

Moving slowly so that she didn't disturb him, Bella made her way to the iPod dock on the shelf. Reaching into her jacket pocket, she pulled out her own older, less expensive model and turned it on, queuing up a specific song. When the current song began to wind down, she quickly hit the stop button and pulled his iPod out, replacing it with her own.

Startled by the shuffling noises behind him, Edward turned around so abruptly that he dropped his brush on the floor, leaving a crimson stain on the rug. He was so surprised by her silent entrance that he was struck immobile for a moment, simply staring at her heatedly.

_There is that jade smolder that's been haunting me for days. _

"I hope you don't mind," Bella said timidly from across the room, "but I made my _own_ little playlist." Clicking the iPod into place and hitting the play button, she immediately felt bolder when the grinding beats of Lords of Acid's _The Most Wonderful Girl_ began filling the room. "Not that I didn't love your list of _Fuck Songs_, but I thought it was time I contribute a little bit."

She watched as his features shifted, becoming almost aggressive... predatory. Bella could sympathize; she felt the exact same way. Two days away from this man had been too long. She was over being shy and reserved. Now she only wanted to wrestle him to the ground and devour him.

She never once took her eyes from his as she slid her jacket off her shoulders and let it drop to the floor. Walking slowly towards him, she could see his nostrils flaring and his chest rising rapidly. In the back of her mind, Bella couldn't help hoping that his chest wasn't the only thing rising rapidly.

Edward thought for a moment that he had finally lost his mind and his fantasies were manifesting in front of him. His brunette goddess had been living in his thoughts on a constant loop over the entire weekend, so when she suddenly appeared before him it took a moment to realize that she was actually there. The instant he locked eyes with her, only one word made any sense to him any more. _Mine_.

The notion confused him; he had never been possessive. His own wife had fucked half the free world and it never made one bit of difference to him. However, something about this woman made him want to club her over the head and drag her back to his cave, to make her his own personal plaything for as long as he wanted. _Get a grip, Edward. It's just a fuck. She means nothing to you and you mean nothing to her. She doesn't have a name. This isn't anything more than pleasure. _

He watched her saunter towards him, the look in her eye just as heated as his cock. When she was standing directly in front of him she dipped her head a bit, so that she was looking up at him through her lashes. Her slick pink tongue darted out from between her lips, moistening them, before she whispered, "Miss me?" A smile tugged at the corners of her perfect mouth.

"No," he snapped, suddenly angry that she was right. He couldn't stop staring at her glistening lips, nearly growling when he remembered his fantasy of having them wrapped around his dick.

"Not even a little bit?" she pouted playfully, reaching out with her fingertips and dragging them up and down his abdomen, feeling along the ridges of his muscles. She circled his navel and made her way back up, until she was scratching through the light dusting of his chest hair. The sensation of her hot fingers on his skin was making him lightheaded.

"No." His tone was lighter now; the swirling patterns she was making on his pecs were rather distracting. He could feel the familiar itch in his own fingers telling him to reach out and grab what was his.

"Well I missed _you_," she practically hummed, leaning forward and kissing each of his nipples slowly, gently. The innocence of the kiss somehow made the action even more erotic, causing Edward to grit his teeth against the moan that wanted to escape. "In fact, let me show you how much."

Bella gripped his hips and dropped to her knees, unable to miss the rather prominent bulge in the front of his jeans. "Mmm... seems like _someone_ around here missed me." Bringing her hands forward, she cupped him lightly before gripping him more firmly, causing him to hiss through his teeth. Leaning forward, she placed her mouth over the tip of the bulge, kissing it quickly and flicking at the denim with the tip of her tongue.

_Holy fuck!_ If Edward had thought her merely kissing his nipples was erotic, watching her do this was bound to drive him insane. It also didn't help that he hadn't bothered to put his boxers on that day and he could feel everything much more clearly.

"You're a dirty fucking tease, do you know that?" he growled at her, unable to tear his eyes away from the sight of her small fingers working at the buttons on his fly.

"And why is that, exactly?" she smiled up at him, tugging him closer by his waistband so she could get a better grip on the bottom button. He was tempted to tell her that opening a button fly was much faster if you just pulled it apart quickly, all the buttons would pop open in a row, but he was having too much fun letting her take her time.

"You sneak in here when I'm gone and get me all excited, and then don't even have the decency to come back and finish what you started?"

"Aw... poor baby," she cooed, happy that he had missed their time together just as much as she had. She pulled on his jeans until they were sliding down around his hips, unable to bite back a moan when his erection sprang free in front of her face.

She had yet to appreciate it this closely before. Bella had always been able to tell it was one of the nicest ones she'd ever seen, but up close it was truly a thing of beauty. Long and thick, covered with the smooth ridges of multiple veins, it curved upwards towards his stomach, and was crowned with the most gorgeous swollen tip that was almost turning a light shade of purple under her scrutiny.

Bella reached out and ran her hands up the front of his legs, spreading out her fingers as they moved higher, until her thumbs were brushing against the dark brown hair at his groin. She could hear the song playing in the background and almost laughed to herself when she listened to the lyrics.

"_I'm fucking beautiful"_

_No honey, this cock is fucking beautiful._

"_I'm the greatest thing I've ever seen."_

_Sorry, but once again, this cock is the greatest thing I've ever seen. _

"_God I love myself."_

She couldn't fight back the laugh then, causing Edward to look down at her.

"What's so funny?" he snarled, sounding slightly offended. No man wanted a woman laughing directly at his dick.

"Well," she blushed, "Um... I was wondering if perhaps your cock wrote this song."

"What the?" He took a moment to think about what she said. "Oh," he chuckled. "So you like what you see?"

"_Like_ is an understatement." She finally touched him then, wrapping her fingers around the base of his shaft. Leaning closer, she flicked her tongue out, licking at the glistening tip. He was already leaking for her, and she lapped up the drops of moisture that she found there. It tasted both sweet and salty, and was now her new favorite flavor. After the taste of his lips, of course.

Just the sight of his dick being that close to her lips was enough to do him in. By the time she had licked up his precum, his thoughts had turned into one long litany of curse words. _Oh fuck... oh fuck... don't fucking come yet... she hasn't even put it in her mouth yet... Jesus Christ, don't fucking come! _

"Oh, I nearly forgot," Bella said, pulling away from him far enough that he actually whimpered. "Did you get my present?"

The image of lacy blue panties flashed in his mind, causing him to growl again. "Yes," he gritted through his teeth.

"And did you like them?"

"Like them? I _fucked_ them!"

A wicked smile crept across her lips until she was absolutely beaming. "Good." And with that, she grabbed him more firmly around his shaft and sucked him deep inside her mouth.

"_Fuck!_" Edward threw his head back and groaned loudly, swaying on his feet. Her mouth was pure bliss.

Unable to keep his hands to himself any longer, he plunged them into her dark hair, enjoying the feeling of her head moving up and down underneath his touch. He let his thumbs sweep out across her blushing cheeks, over her silken skin, until they were tracing her luscious pink lips as they slid along his length.

Bella looked back up at him through her lashes again, loving the look of intense pleasure on his face. That was one of her favorite things about doing this, being able to make a man weak in the knees. She had almost forgotten how much this could turn her on when the recipient really got into it.

She pulled all the way back, barely letting him slip out. Holding him steady at the base, she puckered her lips tightly and slowly pushed her mouth over his broad tip. As he penetrated her deeper, she sucked in her cheeks around him, trying to simulate what actual sex might feel like. On the upstroke, she would wrap her tongue around him for added texture, swirling it around the tip before plunging back downwards. The loud moan he let out told her that he seemed to enjoy it.

Trying to ignore how badly she was beginning to throb between her legs, she slid her hands around his firm ass and cupped it tightly, pulling him towards her so that he slid deeper into her mouth. She repeated this action a few more times, hoping that her beautiful stranger would take the hint.

And take it he did.

Edward grabbed her more firmly by the back of the head for leverage and started slowly thrusting, pulling her face towards him as he shifted his hips into her. He watched as he fucked her mouth, watched as the veins on his cock slid back and forth through her lips, and when she moaned around him his eyes nearly crossed at how good it felt.

When he felt her pulling him into her mouth even more eagerly, he started to thrust faster. He looked into her heavily lidded eyes to confirm that it was what she really wanted. She moaned and nodded, the sensation making him cry out. He kept thrusting faster and faster, knowing that he was going to lose it at any moment. It was just too fucking intense. He honestly didn't even know how he'd made it that long.

When he noticed her starting to squirm around and moan even louder, he quickly realized that something was different. One of her hands wasn't gripping his ass any more. Glancing down, he noticed that she had slid her hand inside the front of her workout pants and was furiously rubbing herself.

That was all he needed to set him off.

"Fuck! Are you fucking playing with yourself?" he panted as he felt himself starting to lose control. She simply nodded again and moaned some more. "Oh God... that's not fucking fair! I want to watch that shit."

Suddenly all he could think about was her tight, wet pussy and how it felt. How it tasted. "Ungh... fuck! I can't take it any more. Gimme your hand!" He reached down and pulled at her arm until she finally took it out of her pants, whimpering at the loss of friction. "Don't worry, I'm gonna take care of you. But I _have_ to fucking taste you when I come. I'm so goddamn close right now!"

When he fully expected her to pull away, she groaned loudly and started sucking on him harder than he thought physically possible. "Holy shit!" he cried out, nearly falling down, his legs were shaking so badly. "That's it... yesss... just like that."

Bella watched as Edward pulled her dripping fingers up towards his mouth, bending slightly to reach them. The moment his slick tongue wrapped around them, they both whimpered. She could feel the heat and strength of his mouth as he sucked them clean, and he could taste the divine flavor that had been driving him insane since they'd first met.

Groaning loudly and sending vibrations all the way down her arm, Edward bucked his hips once... twice... and then erupted in thick spurts down the back of her throat.

Normally Bella was a firm believer in swallowing, but there were times when she had needed to spit before; sometimes the guy was just too damn bitter no matter how much she liked him at the time, but this was the best she'd ever tasted. She swallowed every drop eagerly, hoping it would enhance his climax to feel her mouth working around him to the end.

Once Edward had calmed down enough to think again, he looked down at his blow job goddess. Her eyes were bright, her cheeks were flushed a lovely shade of pink, and her succulent lips were slightly swollen, making him want to kiss her even more.

"That was incredible," he panted, running his fingers through his hair. "You didn't have to do that, you know. At the end." Tanya hadn't swallowed his cum in years, deciding that it grossed her out, and before that there had only been a handful of times.

"Don't be silly," she smiled. "Of course I had to. You tasted too fucking good to stop."

_Jesus Christ, is this girl for real?_ He could already feel his cock beginning to stir again.

Kicking his jeans off the rest of the way, Edward leaned over and scooped her up. He carried her into the bedroom and tossed her on the mattress. "Sweetheart, you've got entirely too many clothes on. If you don't want them ripped off you in exactly five seconds, I suggest you start stripping."

Bella was only too happy to oblige, pulling her shirt and sports bra over her head before yanking her pants and underwear down and tossing them on the floor. Any other time with any other man, and she would still feel self-conscious to be on display like this, completely nude, but this man had a way of making her feel sexier than she'd ever felt before.

"Now," he said from the doorway, standing over her, "I want you to show me what you were trying to do out there."

"What do you mean?" She knew _exactly_ what he meant, but had never been asked to do that for anyone before. It was hard to imagine that anyone would even want to see that.

"Don't play dumb with me. I want you to lay back and finish what you started out there." His voice turned husky when he spoke again. "Show me how you get yourself off."

Blushing furiously, Bella scooted back until she had room to lay down. "You actually want to watch that?"

"Don't go getting shy on me now. You had no problem doing it out there."

"Yeah, but... you weren't watching. I was hoping you wouldn't notice."

"There is no way in hell I could have missed that." His voice took on that husky tone again. "That was what drove me over the edge, knowing you were doing that. Now open your legs."

She slowly bent her legs at the knee and parted them, figuring that if he really wanted to see it then who was she to judge. As long as he thought it was sexy, she could find the courage to do just about anything.

"Wider, baby," he whispered as he sank down to his knees for a closer look. After she parted her knees even wider and slid her fingers between the slick, swollen folds, she could hear his breath hitching. "Fuck... you have the most beautiful pussy I have ever seen."

_Wow, this is really turning him on! _Bella could feel herself growing bolder under his gaze, loving the feel of his eyes on her as she moved. She was still pretty hot from earlier, but this was reaching a whole new level. _Holy shit, having him watch is turning me on, too! _

Edward watched as her fingers slipped over the wet petals of her sex, always coming back to circle around her clitoris. He listened as her breath became broken into pants and moans, and it amazed him that even just her breathing patterns were driving him wild.

Wanting to be more involved, but not wanting to make her stop, he began running his fingers up and down her ankles and calves. "Tell me about the first time you ever did this," he whispered against her knee before he kissed her there lightly.

"Why?" she moaned, writhing in front of him as she ground herself against her hand. She couldn't resist reaching up with her other hand and squeezing one of her nipples before moving on to the other one.

"Because I want to know more about you."

"I thought you said no names," she replied, looking at him questioningly.

"I did. But I don't need to know your name to know everything I want to about you. I don't care what you do, where you live, whether you're married with eight kids or used to be a nun. None of that shit matters here." He gripped her calves tighter, making sure that she was paying attention to him. "That's all just window dressing. I want to know the _real_ you, the you that nobody else has ever been allowed to see before." _The you that I can call my own._

Bella paused a beat before sighing. "OK. What did you want to know?" She was more than flattered. People she had known her entire life didn't give a crap about her deep dark secrets. They only cared if she went to the right school, got the right grades, dated the right boys. Who ever cared about the real her before? Did she even know who that was?

"Tell me about the first time you ever did this," he repeated. "And don't you dare stop what you're doing."

"Well," she thought back, trying to remember over the growing sensations in her body. "The first time I can remember... I found a stack of dirty magazines that belonged to one of my mom's old boyfriends. He had lived with us at the time."

"Did he show them to you? Did he touch you?" Edward couldn't fight off the wave of protectiveness that attacked him.

"No, no! Nothing like that. I went snooping around one day when they were gone and found them. They were these really old copies of Playboy and Penthouse from the late seventies and early eighties."

He could remember when he & Emmett had been caught sneaking a few peeks at those very magazines when they'd been younger. One of Emmett's friends had brought some to the house, and when Esme had caught them they had both been grounded for two weeks.

"Go on," he prodded, meaning both her story and her actions.

"I remember knowing that it was wrong to look at them, but that excited me even more. The women were so beautiful and natural looking back then, but what really caught my eye were the pictures that showed two people having sex. You never got a really good view of things, but you could tell what was going on."

"Yes, I remember those."

"Well they were my favorite. But as I flipped through the pages and looked at those scenes, I started feeling the strangest throbbing right here," Bella gasped as her fingers kept moving, swirling through her folds. Her orgasm was fast approaching, causing her speech to be erratic as she fought through moans. "And then I... would lay awake at night... and wonder what that felt like... to do what the people in the pictures did... Oh God!" She started to tremble, feeling his eyes on every inch of her skin at once.

"Are you going to come?" he asked, his voice sounding thick as honey in her ears.

"Soon," she gasped.

"Finish your story," he commanded. "You would lay awake at night and think about it."

"Yes," she moaned. "Yes... and whenever I thought about it, that same throbbing would happen. So I touched myself... here... and it felt so _good_!" Her body started shaking harder, fighting for its release. "And I found out that... if I touched it long enough... in different ways, I would shake all over... and feel so _warm!_"

"Now I want you to come for me," he said, never taking his eyes from her frantic finger swirls.

That was all Bella needed to hear. She began to shudder and moan, throwing her head back and crying out, "Oh fuck!"

"Thank you for sharing that with me," he said calmly when she had finished, as if he weren't affected by what he'd just seen. The only thing giving him away was the way that his hands shook where he touched her. He thought for a moment before adding, "Next time, I want to watch you use a toy... and then maybe I can use it on you, too."

Bella would have blushed if she weren't so turned on by the thought of it.

Edward leaned in closer, his face only inches from where she was spread wide before him. "I want to see what you do with something that's made to fit right... _here_." He slid two fingers deep inside her, making her arch her back and moan, her inner muscles already gripping him. "Do you like that?"

"_Yes_," she moaned.

"What do you want right now? Be honest. If you aren't, I'll never learn what you truly like."

"I like what you're doing now. Don't stop that yet."

"What else?" He caught the blush on her cheeks and pressed her further. "Come on. Tell me." He worked his fingers deeper inside her, trying to make her focus on her arousal rather than her embarrassment.

"Oh God," she panted. "I really liked... well, actually...," she took a deep breath before continuing. "Alright, I fucking _loved_ it when you went down on me the other day."

_Yes! _"So tell me what you want." _Please, please tell me._

She looked down her naked body until she found him, perched between her legs. "I want you to finger me while you lick my pussy. Is that clear enough?"

_Fuck yes!_ "I think that can be arranged," he smiled, barely containing his glee at her request before burying his face between her legs.

"Holy shit!" she screamed at the sudden onslaught, already so sensitive from her recent orgasm.

Edward lapped at her juices, sucking her clit between his lips while sliding his fingers even deeper, eventually adding a third finger. Flattening his tongue against her, he used thick, broad strokes that he knew would have her coming within seconds.

"Yessss..." she hissed through her teeth. "Oh yes... oh fuck! Don't fucking stop!" Bella reached down and grabbed handfuls of his hair, pulling him into her harder while she ground herself against his face. The dual sensations of his fingers inside her and his tongue working her over were the most intense feelings she'd experienced in... well, ever.

In less than a minute she was shaking and convulsing. Edward could feel her tightening around his fingers, her fluids dripping freely, covering his hand in her moisture. If her loud screams were anything to go by, she'd just had one hell of an orgasm.

His cock was so hard again that it was becoming painful. He leaned back on his knees and looked down at her, his amazing sex goddess. Just seeing her spread out before him was enough to make his erection jump in anticipation. He grabbed it with his dripping hand, spreading her nectar along his length before pumping it a few times to relieve some of the pressure.

Bella sat straight up, her eyes locked on his hand and what it was doing. _Oh my God... it really IS sexy to watch!_

"Turn over. Get on your hands and knees."

"But I really want to watch you do that!" Bella said eagerly, her eyes wide in wonder. His long, slender fingers were gripping his long, perfect cock and sliding up and down. She couldn't look away.

"Next time, I promise, if you still want. But I need to be inside you right now. I'm sorry, I can't wait. Turn _over_." Bella finally complied, getting up on her hands and knees, making sure to arch her back to give him the best view possible. "God _damn_!" Edward moaned. "I didn't it was possible, but you look even sexier like this."

He scooted closer behind her, reaching out to rest his other hand on her hip. Guiding his cock to her dripping opening, Edward slipped the tip just inside her before moving his hand up to grab her other hip. Now that he had her where he wanted her, he gripped her hips tightly as he slid himself the rest of the way inside her.

They both threw their heads back and groaned deeply.

Using her hips for leverage, he began thrusting inside her to the hilt, over and over again. Not wanting to come too quickly, he began to draw out each thrust, shoving deeply and pulling back out with an agonizing slowness.

Bella's eyes were rolling back in her head, each heavy drag of the tip of his cock inside her was sending ripples of perfection through her body. It felt amazing, but there was very little contact this way, and Bella wanted more of him touching her.

Looking back over her shoulder, she caught his eye before moaning another request. "Grab my hair."

"What?" he asked, hardly believing what he'd heard.

"I want you to hold me by my hair while you fuck me like this."

_God, yes! _Edward gathered her hair at the base of her skull and pulled back, causing Bella to arch her back even more. He held her there in place, pounding into her faster, dragging loud grunts and moans from each of them.

Still not happy with the lack of contact, Bella rose up on her knees, leaning her back against his beautiful chest. _Yes! _That was much better. She could feel his light coating of chest hair as it scratched against her sensitive skin, and his small nipples were rubbing against her shoulder blades.

Edward was shocked at how much he loved the shift in position. Not only did it free up his hands to roam over the front of her body, but the angle it bent their connection at created an intense, grinding sensation. He moved slower inside her, dragging himself against her front wall, making sure to hit that spot inside her that he'd felt before.

She laid her head back on his shoulder and enjoyed the feeling of him sliding inside her, moaning even louder when he wrapped his arms around her and began caressing her breasts. Both hands gripped and worked them equally, stopping to squeeze and pinch her tightened peaks between his fingers.

"Yes!" she cried into his neck, lifting her mouth up towards his. Edward pulled her even closer, planting his mouth on hers hungrily. Their tongues swirled together and warred with each other, neither one truly wanting to win, as long as the war would continue. Bella brought her arm up around his neck, pulling him even closer to her by the back of his head.

They remained like that for some time, practically locked together, connected at so many points it was easy to lose count. The slow grinding and thrusting continued, and whenever a certain movement caused them even more pleasure, they would swallow each others cries, panting into each others mouths.

Edward knew that he was getting close, so he slid his right hand down the front of her body and began swirling his fingertips around her swollen clitoris. Bella gasped at the extra stimulation and bucked her hips, causing Edward's fingers to slide down enough so that he could feel where his body was entering hers.

"Oh God," he moaned. "Quick, give me your hand, baby." He reached up and grabbed her arm, bringing it back down to the juncture of her legs. "Here." He covered her hand with his, slipping their fingers between her soft curls and down to where they were connected. "Do you feel that? Do you feel us?" He spread their fingers apart, so that they were sliding from up around her clit to down around either side of his shaft as it moved deeper in and out of her.

"Oh... Oh yes! Can you feel me touching you there?"

"Fuck yes," he gritted through his teeth. "It feels amazing."

They separated their fingers then, leaving hers to slide around the sides of him while he moved his back up to start rubbing her more firmly. Her juices were flowing freely down around their digits, making everything slippery as they moved closer to the edge.

Edward slid harder against the rough patch of nerves inside her, stroking her clit in time with his thrusts. He could tell the moment she found her release, because her entire body shook in his arms and her inner muscles clamped down, constricting around him.

"Fuck!" he yelled. "God... come for me, baby. Come all over me!"

She turned her head and screamed into his neck, riding out the most powerful orgasm she'd had to date.

Edward kept thrusting and stroking her, knowing he was going to finish any second. "Give me your fingers!" Bella moved her hand from between her legs quickly, shoving them into his mouth. He sucked her fingers clean, groaning around them when he exploded inside her.

They napped briefly after that, curled together on the mattress. When Bella woke up she saw that it was really time for her to head home, whether she wanted to or not.

She rolled away from his beautiful sleeping body, hoping not to disturb him as she got dressed. As much as she preferred him awake, his features looked much more peaceful when he slept, and she had the strangest feeling that he didn't sleep often. When she'd first seen him here, he'd had the darkest circles under his eyes.

Pulling her shirt over her head, she heard his quiet voice. "You sure you can't stay any longer?"

"Dammit, I'm sorry," she apologized. "I was trying not to wake you."

"No biggie," he smiled, making her heart skip a beat. Propping himself up on his elbow to look at her, he repeated his question. "So, you gotta run?"

"Yeah, I really do." _Dammit! _"Why, you're not actually up for another round already, are you?"

He chuckled lightly. "Sweetheart, even _I_ need a little time to recoup after something like that. Although I must admit that you bring out the animal in me. I've never been quite so hungry for someone before."

"I feel the exact same way," she said, flashing a shy smile. "So if no round two, why do you ask?"

"Oh... well, it's just really nice sleeping next to you. It would be nice to do at a longer stretch sometime." He actually blushed.

"Oh! I see. Well, I only get so much free time, and we usually use that on... other activities. And this bed isn't exactly set up for long bouts of sleeping."

"Never mind," he said, waving it off. "I just didn't know your availability, so I didn't know if you ever had longer times to be away. It's really nothing."

"The only problem is that I rarely know my availability, either. It's very 'play it by ear' right now. But if any opportunity ever arises, believe me, I'll be here." After tying her shoes she knelt on the mattress, leaning forward to kiss him goodbye.

"I've been meaning to ask," he said as she pulled away from the warm kiss, "what's up with all the t-shirts?"

"Huh?" She looked down, not remembering what she was wearing. It was one of her favorites, a deep green tee that said _Brunettes Not Fighter Jets_ across the front in gold letters. "It's just what I wear to the gym."

"Oh, I figured that. I just wondered why you had so many Flight of the Conchords t-shirts."

Bella gasped. "You've heard of the Conchords?"

"Of course. Why? Hasn't anyone else you know?"

"No! And it's really frustrating! I love them so much... like, to an obsessive degree. All the DVDs, all the CDs, and a whole bunch of goofy merchandise. But anyone I try to share them with just looks at me like I'm crazy. Does nobody in Forks understand dry humor?"

"Well, I don't know about that... but I've always liked them. I like the Mighty Boosh better, though."

"Oh, I love the Boosh, too! Absolutely classic." Bella stood and walked to the door, stopping briefly to call back over her shoulder, "But Conchords is better!"

Edward laid back down and laughed, a loud, belly clenching laugh. "Go on, get out of here, crazy lady!" He stopped laughing when he heard the door click, but mostly so that he could listen to her run down the stairs. It was that much longer that he could be connected to her. When he thought back on the absurdity of the entire conversation, it only caused him to laugh even harder, making his sides hurt and tears run down his cheeks.

Edward hadn't laughed like that in a very long time.

xox

xo

x

* * *

OK, so let me have it. Steamy enough for you?

Seems to me like they're both getting a little bit attached, huh?

Do me a favor and let me know what you thought about this one. I stayed up all night trying to get it done.


	8. Sick of Myself

I have had a lot of great feedback since the last chapter, thank you so much! Also, this story was featured on The Fictionators last Friday, and it received some amazing reviews.

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns it all. This is just another naughty chapter of things I force her characters to do. I think mutual masturbation like this would make her run screaming to the hills.**

_

* * *

_

_You don't know how you move me _

_Deconstruct me and consume me_

_I'm all used up, I'm out of luck, I am starstruck_

_By something in your eyes that is keeping my hope alive_

_But I'm sick of myself when I look at you_

_Something is beautiful and true_

_In a world that's ugly and a lie_

_It's hard to even want to try_

_And I'm beginning to think_

_Baby you don't know_

"_Sick of Myself" ~ Matthew Sweet_

/

/

Edward laid there on the mattress for some time after his goddess had left. He was wide awake, but reluctant to leave the place that smelled so heavily of her essence. She was everywhere around him, from the long brown hairs he could see on his pillowcase to the rapidly cooling wet spot he refused to roll away from. He could smell her on his fingers and taste her on his lips.

He licked them both once again for good measure.

_She tastes like a ripe, juicy peach. _

After another minute of reminiscing over his lusty afternoon, he realized that music was still playing in the other room. He could hear Muse's cover of _Feeling Good _starting, and he couldn't help staring up at the cracked ceiling while he listened, smiling at the lyrics.

_It's a new dawn, it's a new day_

_It's a new life for me_

_And I'm feeling good_

"Good" was an understatement. This was the best he'd felt in months. Hell, longer than that. If he really tried to think back to the last time he'd felt this relaxed and sated... he would only draw a blank.

Tanya had certainly tried to keep things _exciting_, and sometimes she would succeed, but the boredom would always set in faster and faster after each new thrill she would suggest to him. Whenever she had seen that look in his eye that hinted he might be wondering if he was where he really needed to be, she would dangle a new vice in front of him like a carrot to get him back in line. It worked for a while.

The last one had been cocaine.

"_Here baby," she said, holding out the small brown vial in her hand. "This will make you feel so good. You'll be able to stay up and paint for days and days."_

"_I don't know that I want that right now," he replied, glancing around his cluttered studio, anywhere but at her eyes and the disappointment he new would be there. "I was thinking about maybe going back to America soon. We haven't seen our families in forever."_

"_Families?" she huffed. "Edward, we are our family. Those people back there are nothing but dead weight. You agreed with me when I became your manager that you wouldn't let them hold you back." She put her hands on her hips and started tapping her foot, signs that she was prepared to go the distance on this topic. _

"_But that's just it, I don't think they are trying to hold me back. They have always been supportive." He sighed before adding quietly, "They have only ever wanted me to be happy."_

"_Happy? Your parents would be fine with you painting motel landscapes as long as you were happy; they have no clue what it means to be truly great as an artist. Why can't you ever just shut up and trust me? Have I ever steered you wrong? Look how far you've come in such a short time!" She gestured wildly out the window at the beautiful Italian scenery. "Now you have a show in Venice next month, and you are nowhere near ready!" _

_When she saw that her tantrum wasn't making the same impact that it would have five years ago, she switched tactics. Giving him her best and most-practiced pout, she walked up to him slowly, running her fingers up and down his chest. "Please Eddie... for me?" _

_He hated when she called him Eddie, but she also hadn't touched him in weeks; she'd been too busy partying it up at clubs and leaving him home alone to work. Since Edward still refused to step outside his marriage for any sort of physical comfort, regardless of the fact that he knew she did, his body began to rule his actions. Tanya knew that she was close to tightening the leash again as soon as she felt him growing hard against her. _

"_Know what else this stuff is good for?" she smirked, holding out the vile again. She looked up at him and batted her lashes, rubbing herself against the front of him. "Fucking all night long." _

"_Where did you get this shit, anyway?" he asked, his control flagging. _

"_From Jane. Oh, you'll love her, baby. She's got a tight little ass and firm tits." She slid her hand down his abdomen until she was cupping him firmly, making him shudder. "I bet she could do some amazing things to this cock with me. Should I ask her over?"_

_Edward reached out slowly and took the vial. "Call her." _

That had led to a nasty addiction that had taken him almost a year to kick.

No, Edward couldn't remember _ever_ feeling this good.

As he hummed along with the song, it slowly dawned on him that it wasn't a song he had loaded into his iPod. Forcing himself to stand and walk into the front room, he found an older, scratched up 30 gig player sitting in his dock, while his brand new iPod Touch was laying on the shelf in front of it.

His goddess had forgotten her player.

Reaching out with trembling fingers, he hit the stop button and pulled it free from the dock. _Should I? What if her name is in here somewhere? _He quickly told himself to stop being a pussy and just look inside. What could it hurt? _You're just looking to see what kind of music she likes, that's all._

Edward quickly scrolled through the menu options, searching through the different artists and playlists. Although he told himself that he didn't _want_ to know her name, it didn't stop him from trying to accidentally learn it. After five minutes of digging and hunting he knew it was a lost cause, but he was still amazed to find how much they had in common when it came to music.

Just as he was about to put it back on the dock to start listening to a playlist entitled _Kiwi Genius _that caught his eye, the shrill ringtone of his cell phone intruded on his peaceful afternoon. He almost let it go to voicemail when he didn't immediately recognize the number, but he noticed that it was a local area code, so he begrudgingly answered.

"Yeah?"

"Edward? Is that you?"

"Alice? Sorry, I didn't have your number in my phone. What's up?"

"Well, Mom made me promise not to bother you, but I thought you should know that she is making dinner for everyone before we all drive back to Seattle tonight. Since we're all here in town to support you in the first place, it _might_ be a nice idea to make an appearance." _Fuck!_

"Sorry Al... I didn't know you guys were even still in town. I thought you went back yesterday."

"We all stayed over through Monday, jackass! We thought you might need to be with family right now. Little did we know that you would pull a disappearing act after the funeral." His twin sister had always been one of his biggest supporters, but she was also the first one to call him on his bullshit.

"Hey Al, wait," he called out, knowing by the tone of her voice that she was about to hang up the phone. Sighing deeply, he continued. "Listen... I'm sorry. You have all been great, honestly. I'm just not used to needing to check in with anyone when I'm working. I didn't mean any offense."

"I know you didn't. And I know this whole thing has been a very intense experience for you, but Edward... we haven't seen you in forever. I know that it can be cathartic to lose yourself in work, especially with what you do, but you're back now and we want to spend some time with you while you're here. I'm always afraid that each time I see you is going to be my last."

He knew she had a point. He had been so exhausted by trying to keep up his grieving widower routine that he had fled the first moment he was able to. "No, you're right. I've been a little... distracted... over all of this. I got so used to handling things by myself lately that it feels awkward to lean on anybody else now." _That and the fact that I'm terrified you'll find out what a failure I've become._

There was nearly thirty seconds of dead air, but to him it felt like hours. Her voice was sad and quiet when she finally replied. "We just want to know you again."

"What time is dinner?" he sighed again, shoving his fingers through his messy hair.

"Six o'clock."

"I'll be there." He hung up the phone and looked at the time on his display, noting that he had less than an hour to get there. Glancing down at his naked body, he made the quick decision to forgo a shower and just throw some clothes on. Besides... that way he could smell like _her_ that much longer.

Twenty minutes later he was pulling off the highway onto his family's drive. As he parked his rental car next to his father's black Mercedes, he turned off the upbeat New Zealand songs playing on his mystery woman's iPod and slipped it inside his jacket pocket to finish snooping through it later. Slinging a bag full of mostly dirty laundry over his shoulder, Edward walked inside the front door, unsure of what his welcome would be.

He could hear female voices laughing from the kitchen, so he set his bag down at the foot of the stairs and followed the happy sounds, quietly standing in the doorway. His mother, Alice, and Rosalie were all sitting around the island counter top, talking as they plated various snacks and side dishes.

"Oh dear, don't worry," Esme was giggling and patting Rosalie's arm. "When I was pregnant with Emmett, I threw up _all_ the time. I even threw up all over Carlisle once when we were... well, you know."

"Mom!" Alice gasped, her laughter cut off abruptly.

Rosalie waved her off and Esme paid her no mind, continuing with her story. "And good lord, let me tell you, when I was pregnant with Alice and Edward, they gave me _twice_ the gas!" Both women broke into another fit of laughter, leaving poor Alice looking completely horrified.

When Rosalie was able to finish laughing, she cleared her throat and spoke, her tone suddenly serious. "Thanks Esme, I know that so many women can have a hard time of it. I'm just happy for any type of new symptom these days. I think I'd even be happy to get hemorrhoids if it meant that this pregnancy goes full term."

"Eww, Rose!"

"Oh grow up, Alice. You are thirty-two years old; I think you can handle hearing about this stuff," Esme scolded. She turned back to Rosalie, her expression turning to one of concern. "Darling, there is no reason you can't say 'baby' by now, instead of 'pregnancy'."

"I just can't yet," she whispered. "Not again. It hurts too much when things go bad."

Esme moved to hug her, and in doing so she noticed their new addition to the room. "Edward!" she beamed. "I didn't think you'd be here tonight!" She met him halfway across the room as he entered, her arms already around his neck in a fierce hug.

"Of course! You know I can't miss one of your amazing dinners." He held her tightly, looking over her shoulder to mouth the words _thank you_ to Alice, who smirked back at him in a very _I told you so_ sort of way. She had perfected that look.

"Well, you're just in time; we were about to set the table. Why don't you go find your father and the boys and tell them to meet us in the dining room?"

Edward followed loud whooping noises into the living room, surprised to find Emmett and Jasper jumping up and down in the center of the floor, brandishing silly looking white controllers that they aimed at the TV.

"Yeah, baby! Suck it!" Emmett yelled after swinging his arm in the air towards the screen.

"Ah, shit!" Jasper swore, tossing his controllers on the carpet in front of the entertainment center.

"Pay up, D-bag," Emmett laughed.

"What the hell are you guys doing in here?" Edward interrupted his brother's moment of victory.

"Hey man! Good to see you!" he crossed the room quickly, clapping him on the shoulder. "Jasper here bet me that he could take down my as-of-yet undefeated high score on tennis. Not only was he _wrong_, but I managed to set a new high score."

"That's... great?" Edward replied, not having any exposure to game consoles since he'd decided in middle school that Emmett could knock himself out on Super Nintendo all he wanted, he'd rather go to his room and sketch. "Mom wanted me to let you both know that dinner is ready. Where is Dad?"

"I think he's still in his office," Emmett called back to him as an afterthought, already halfway to the dining room with a ravenous gleam in his eye, Jasper hot on his heels.

Edward made his way down the hall, stopping at a closed door that he hadn't knocked on in years. Tapping lightly, he could hear the muffled sounds of a one-sided conversation stop before his father's voice rang out. "Come in."

As he walked quietly through the door, Edward found Carlisle sitting at his large desk, his hand covering up the mouthpiece of his desk phone. His eyes lit up when he saw who it was before he whispered, "Edward! Come on in, son. I'll be done with this call momentarily." He spent another minute wrapping up the call from the hospital, leaving Edward to wander around and look at the many priceless works of art hanging on the walls.

When he spied a particular piece that was located in an obvious place of honor, he felt a lump rise in his throat.

"Sorry about that," Carlisle apologized, coming up to stand beside him. "Ah, I see you've found my favorite." He nodded toward the painting with a smile.

"I... uh," Edward cleared his throat before speaking again. "I didn't realize you owned this one."

"Of course! It cost a pretty penny and I had to pull a lot of strings with the dealers I know to get it over here from Europe, but I knew as soon as I saw your catalog for that show that I had to have it." The pride in his voice was unmistakable.

"Any reason you chose this one specifically?"

"Well," he smiled, "Everyone I spoke with tried to go on and on about the 'Duality of Man' and the struggle of 'Adult vs. Child' and blah blah blah," he chuckled. "But I knew exactly what this was the moment I saw it. It's a bit distorted, but there is your favorite rocking horse from when you were a boy," he pointed, "and there is your stuffed bear, and if I'm not mistaken, that is the old tire swing that used to hang out back."

Carlisle patted him lightly on the back before adding, "It's a beautiful piece regardless, but I didn't need them to tell me any hidden meanings. To me, this was simply evidence that my son had amazing talent, and that perhaps... from time to time he missed us, too."

Edward blinked a few times, his eyes suddenly stinging. Carlisle had no idea how right he was.

Father and son walked back into the dining room together, joining the rest of the family who were already seated and waiting at the long table. With Esme on one end and Carlisle on the other, the table stretched out to allow six more places, three down each side. Both married couples sat across from each other, leaving two empty places at the end near Carlisle.

Edward sat down to his father's left and glanced at the empty chair across from him. Tanya had only sat there a handful of times throughout the entire duration of their courtship and marriage... almost ten years in total. He found it odd that only now, when that chair was empty once again, did he finally feel as if he were truly back home.

He felt instant shame at the pleasure of _not_ seeing her there, knowing that he never would have wished it to be vacant due to her death. However, the fact remained... she had never looked right there. He couldn't help wondering if anyone ever would.

As the talking went on around him, he realized that he was stroking the iPod he had tucked away inside his pocket, causing the metal to become quite warm. He had to force himself to loosen his grip, knowing that it would look odd to eat his entire meal with one hand in his pocket. Focusing his attention back to the room around him, he picked up snippets of a conversation between Alice and his mother.

"I'm telling you Mom, you two have _got_ to go eat there with us the next time you visit. They have the most delicious boneless chicken wings. I can't get enough of them whenever we go."

"You mean nuggets?" Jasper interrupted before Esme could reply.

Alice groaned and rolled her eyes. "Ugh, not again!" She looked at Esme apologetically before explaining, "We get into this every single time we go there." Turning her attention back to Jasper, she continued. "They are called boneless chicken wings; it says so right on the menu. Why do you insist on calling them nuggets? You make it sound like we're eating at McDonald's, for God's sake!"

Jasper's face broke into a huge grin as he looked around the table, laughing lightly to himself before he answered her. "Babydoll, I don't get this new trend of trying to fancy them up to sound dignified, but I've eaten chicken nuggets my whole life, and those are nothing more than chicken nuggets. They just cost more."

"Exactly!" Rosalie joined in. "I was just saying the same thing to Emmett the other day! _Everyone_ is jumping on that bandwagon!"

Laughter broke out along the table, leaving everyone but Alice either wiping their eyes or clutching their stomachs. She simply shook her head and looked mortified, wondering when her family had been replaced by a bunch of flea-scratching troglodytes.

Edward was left wondering when the last time he had laughed with his family like this had been.

Later that night, Edward tossed and turned in the large bed upstairs. He had decided to stay over in his old room for the night, his laundry only halfway done, but by 3am he was regretting his decision. The soft cotton sheets felt so much nicer than his bare mattress on the floor, but the room didn't smell right. There wasn't enough of her scent lingering in the air.

_Get a grip, Cullen. She's just a fuck. An amazing, delicious fuck... but sex all the same. _

Sighing loudly, he threw back the covers and padded across the room to the stack of clothing he'd worn earlier. Fishing through his jacket pocket in the dark, he felt an immediate wave of calm flow over him the moment he had the iPod in his hand again. Digging deeper, he pulled out his earbuds and returned to the bed.

The moment he hit play and the mellow music began to flow, his mind was flooded with images of warm mahogany tresses and soft pink lips.

He was asleep within minutes.

/LTIF\\

The next afternoon, Edward was back at the apartment and putting the finishing touches on his newest painting when he heard light footsteps outside in the hall. He had plenty of time to go unlock the door for her, but it sent a thrill straight to his groin whenever he heard her willingly using her key in the lock. By the time the final click sounded in the room and he saw the knob starting to turn, he was fully aroused.

Setting his brush down on the table, he turned in time to see her smiling face walk through the door. She was wearing her ever-present workout clothes again; this time it was a red t-shirt that said _Recycling: Not Foreplay, But Very Important_. However, instead of being empty handed as usual, she was toting a large gym bag with her that she set down next to the wall as soon as she shut the door.

"Forget something?" At her confused look, Edward nodded towards his docking station where he had returned her iPod. It was currently playing her _Sexy Songs_ mix, as Edward had been unable to think of anything but the previous afternoon all day.

"_There_ it is! I was looking for that all night!" She ran over to the shelf and retrieved it, switching it out with his own. He noticed that she set it to his _Fuck Songs_ mix before walking away, which gave him definite hope for any upcoming activities. He watched her walk back to her bag and slip it inside before zipping it back up, thoroughly enjoying the view as she bent over.

Walking up behind her, he felt the now familiar tingle in his fingertips that told him to reach out and grab what was his. _His_. There was that possessive feeling again. It made no sense to him at all, but that did nothing to lessen the urge.

Edward wrapped his long, slender fingers around her hips, causing her to gasp loudly as he pulled her back against him, rubbing her firm bottom against the prominent bulge in his jeans. Bella groaned loudly at the contact, straightening up so that her back was flush against his bare chest. She laid her head back against his shoulder and closed her eyes.

"Mmm... did you miss me this time?" Reaching her hand around the back of his head, she pulled him down until her face was flush with the side of his long neck. Inhaling his hypnotic scent deeply before flicking the tip of her tongue along his skin, she reveled in the strong saltiness of his flesh. Bella finished with a simple peck on the edge of his jaw before rolling her head to the side in a daze, already high on the feel of him against her.

Edward held her closer, tightly wrapping his arms around her middle while swaying slightly back and forth where they stood. "Mm hm..." he mumbled as he nuzzled her skin, peppering light kisses along her collarbone and up her neck. "You know, I think I did."

He smiled as he caught her earlobe with his teeth, tugging briefly before sucking it between his lips. Her loud moan caused him to buck his hips forward, creating the most delicious friction between them. Edward began rubbing himself against her more firmly, shattering any coherent thought she might have been trying to form.

"Can you feel what you do to me?" he whispered in her ear, eliciting the sexiest whimper he'd heard from her yet. "I was hard before you even opened the door."

"And I was wet the moment I saw you," she gasped.

"Oh, really?" Edward slid his fingers inside the band of her black capri sweats, behind the lace of her panties, and through the tightly trimmed curls between her legs. He could feel the moisture collecting there, already making her outer lips slippery to the touch. The jolt of electricity that shot through him at the feel of her was enough to make him hunch forward and bite her shoulder, groaning into her skin.

Bella whimpered again and turned her head back to face him, tugging on his hair, making his perfect lips finally press against her own. She urged him forward, begging silently with her mouth and tongue, until his kiss turned hungry and he devoured her gasps with a growl. Their tongues warred with each other, leaving them both breathless and dizzy with need.

When they finally parted for air, Edward panted against her lips. "I need you... I need to feel you again."

He released her from his tight grip, spinning her around to face him and kissing her again quickly. When he pulled back, he was curious to see a dark blush spreading over her skin.

"What is it?" he asked, knowing instinctively that she was embarrassed about something.

Turning an even deeper shade of red, Bella bit her lip before meeting his eyes. "Well, I... um..." She took a deep breath and laughed at her own nervousness. "Sorry... I thought this would be easier by now."

Edward reached out and held her hands, looking deep into her eyes. "Hey, listen to me. You have absolutely nothing to be worried or embarrassed about when you are in this room with me. We are here to explore each other to the fullest, not to judge. Can you trust me enough to let me share your pleasure?"

Bella nodded quickly, letting out a relieved sigh. "Yes," she whispered.

"Thank you." He leaned forward and kissed the tip of her nose. "Alright then, what is it?"

"I brought my toy."

Whatever Edward might have expected her to say, that was not it. Based on her reactions yesterday, he didn't think she'd be ready for that one for a while yet. Once he calmed his heart rate enough to speak, he was only able to say two words.

"Get it."

Bella turned around and dug through her gym bag quickly, returning to him on shaky legs.

"Show me," he barely kept from growling.

She held her hand out, palm up, and laying there for his inspection was a lilac purple vibrator that was molded in the shape of an erect penis; it even had a broad tip and veins along the length of it. It wasn't quite as large as he was, only about six or seven inches long and a bit thinner in girth, but it was certainly a respectable size to work with.

"Bedroom," he gritted through his teeth, grabbing it from her open hand. It seemed that he was able to say less and less the more excited he became. He held out his hand, motioning her ahead of him.

As Bella walked into the room, she was surprised to find that the mattress that had been completely bare only the day before was now covered in expensive looking blue sheets... and _two_ pillows.

"I thought that this color would look amazing next to your creamy skin," her beautiful stranger whispered behind her, finally finding his voice again.

"Oh!" she gasped, amazed to be so touched by something as simple as sheets. "They're lovely."

"You're wearing entirely too many clothes again," he said, slowly looking her up and down. "Take them off."

Bella blushed again as she began to strip, but this time it was from excitement. She quickly rid herself of her shirt and pants, tossing them off to the side of the room, but she went a little slower with her bra and panties. Making sure that he watched every move she made, she glanced back at him over her shoulder with a smirk as she unclasped her bra. When that had joined the rest of her clothes in the pile on the floor, she finally hooked her fingers into her panties and peeled them down her legs, turning away from him to let him watch as she bent over to pull them the rest of the way off.

"Get on the bed," he barked roughly.

Bella settled onto the middle of the mattress, resting back on her elbows as she looked up at him expectantly.

"_Fuck_," he groaned. "It's even better than I had imagined. That color looks breathtaking on you."

Feeling emboldened by his words and regard, Bella spoke up. "You look so sexy in your jeans and nothing else... but I want you to take them off."

"Oh you do, do you?"

"Yes. I don't want to be the only one naked."

Edward smiled and slowly began unbuttoning his fly, thoroughly enjoying the admiration that was plain in her eyes. He knew that he was an attractive man, but he'd never in his life felt as desired as he did when she looked at him.

When his jeans had pooled around his ankles, he stepped out of them without taking his eyes off of her. "There. Is that better?" he asked, coming forward to kneel on the foot of the bed.

"_God_ yes," she moaned. "You are so beautiful... sometimes it hurts to look at you."

"Where does it hurt?" he said with a smile, arching his eyebrow.

"You know exactly where," she giggled.

His face suddenly became serious. "I can't believe you actually brought this with you today," he said, holding up the vibrator. "Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled... but I wasn't sure if you would be ready yet."

"Well... I wanted to watch you again, too. I had no idea that seeing that could be so... _erotic._" Bella bit her lip again, eying his swollen erection that was currently curving back towards his flat navel.

"Believe me, beautiful... if you share this with me today, seeing me do that is a definite. It's already getting hard to keep from stroking it, you look so amazing right now." He looked down at the toy in his hand and back to her. "God... just thinking about seeing you use this is making me throb right now."

"Oh!" Bella felt her stomach clench violently, her lust hitting her like a punch in the gut.

"Now," he said, holding the toy up in front of her, "I want you to answer a few questions for me, is that OK?" When she nodded, he continued. "Is this the first toy you've owned?"

"Yes... my only one."

"Do you think it's big? What I mean to say is, have you experienced bigger?"

"Not before _you_," she blushed again.

"Will you show me how you use this? And not just how you _think_ I want you to use it. Pretend I'm not even here if you must." He handed it to her and she took it eagerly, her nerves all but vanished.

Bella laid back on the pillows and turned it on to the lowest setting. She slowly parted her legs, revealing her dripping flesh to his gaze. As she moved it down between her legs, she watched his face closely for his reactions. She had no intention of pretending that he wasn't there, it was turning her on more than anything she'd ever experienced.

She started out by sliding it over her slick skin, letting her juices coat it as she enjoyed the feeling of the vibrations against her clitoris. Her stranger was watching its movements with rapt attention, and when she saw him lick his lips she couldn't bite back a moan.

Unable to wait any longer, Bella shifted her hand so that it slid down lower to her entrance. With a slight adjustment she angled it correctly and slowly began to insert it, moaning louder at the feeling of fullness it created, as well as the deep vibrations.

After a few repetitions of pushing it all the way in and pulling it nearly all the way out, she heard him hiss violently, almost as if he were in pain. "_Fuck_!" When he finally looked up into her questioning eyes, he groaned again. "God... I don't know how long I'm going to be able to handle this." His cock was already weeping and he hadn't even touched it.

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No! God no... this is the sexiest thing I've ever seen. Tell me... does it feel good?" His voice was shaking.

"Yes," she whimpered.

"May I help?" he asked, licking his lips again.

"Oh God, yes!" she cried out.

Edward leaned forward and replaced her hand with his own. He pulled it out gently, looking it over closely before bringing the tip of it back to her glistening folds. "You're so wet," he moaned, sliding it up and down against her, circling her clit again before carefully pushing it back inside her. "God that looks amazing. Does it feel good like this?"

Bella was beyond speech, too busy twisting and moaning on the bed, her only communication grunts and moans. When he suddenly turned up the speed on the vibrator, her hips bucked wildly and she let out a surprised yell. Edward slowly started thrusting it harder and she knew by the involuntary shaking of her body that she wasn't going to last long.

"No... wait," she panted, desperate to break him from his spell.

"Hmm... what?" he replied, barely able to tear his eyes away from the sight of her body thrusting against his hand.

"You!" Bella gasped. "I don't want to finish yet. I want to watch you!"

Edward didn't need to be asked twice. He grabbed her hand and placed it back on the toy. "Here, you control the speed, alright?" When she nodded, he sat back on his knees and watched her again, but this time his gaze was full of such concentration that she expected him to start drooling at any moment.

"Wait!" she interrupted before he had even touched himself yet. "I can't see you good enough from this angle. Please come closer."

He scooted around the edge of the mattress, stopping when he was kneeling to her left side. He hadn't taken his eyes off her movements, but now Bella could see him as well. She watched as he took a deep breath and gripped himself tightly, shuddering from the contact. At the very first pump of his fist, she was starting to shake.

"Oh... please don't stop!" she begged him, grinding her hips harder against her vibrator, fucking it in earnest. "I want you to fuck your hand," she panted as she moved more violently.

He groaned loudly and reached over, slipping his hand between her folds, working his fingers around the toy until they were dripping. Moving quickly back to his erection, he smeared her juices all over his swollen cock for lubrication. This time when he gripped himself, he threw his head back and cried out at the sensation of her moisture.

Bella watched him work himself, squeezing and pulling, much more roughly than she would have imagined. She could see the beautiful tip turning darker as his hand pumped up and down, his hips thrusting forward.

"Oh God!" Bella moaned. "That's it! Please... I want you to fuck it like you're inside me." She kept moving her gaze back and forth from his face to his pumping fist and his flexing hips. "Because I'm fucking _you_ right now. This is you inside me... it's _your_ cock... it will only ever be you whenever I use it from now on."

Edward snarled loudly, reaching his free hand over and rubbing her clitoris while her hips bucked against her own hand's movements, penetrating herself deeper with each thrust.

"Come for me," he growled, leaning over her now, pumping his hips forward into his slippery grip. "I'm so fucking close... I want to watch you come for me first!" The desperation in his voice mirrored the feelings that were swelling in Bella's chest.

She began shaking and bucking her hips wildly, tears streaming freely down her face as she cried out.

"_Fuck_!" he screamed. "You're so fucking beautiful! God... I can't hold it!" He sat back on his knees again, but when he made to move away from her she reached out and grabbed his hip, pleading with her eyes for him to stay right where he was.

Edward cried out at the top of his lungs, his orgasm ripping through him like a freight train. Bella watched his body erupt in thick bursts of fluid, and when she felt the hot liquid land on her chest she surprised them both by coming again.

After handing her one of his old t-shirts to clean up with, Edward collapsed next to her on the bed, his mind reeling from what they had just shared. Bella discreetly wiped herself off and wrapped the toy up in the shirt until she could wash it later, setting it down beside the bed. Curling into his side, she kissed him sweetly before laying her head on his chest.

"That was amazing," she purred against his skin, loving the feel of his fingers gently stroking her back.

"Will you stay?" he whispered as he kissed her shoulder, not ready to let her go just yet. He would worry about _why_ he felt that way later.

"For as long as I can," she promised quietly, stifling a yawn, not wanting to think about boring dinners and obligations.

As they drifted off to sleep, they both realized that they had never experienced anything so beautiful in their lives.

/

/

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OK, desperate to know what you are thinking after this chapter! Please let me know!

2 quick story recs:

The Disillusioned by Phoenix Rising. I am so hooked on this mystery, it's not even funny!

The Ride by Aylah50. I beta for this story, and reading each new chapter is truly an honor. Some really great writing and a wonderful plot.


	9. Ca Plane Pour Moi

OK, I am sorry this one took me longer to get out! I had a really horrible week with real life crap, spent a few days in the hospital and it threw off my game. But hopefully this chapter will be worth the wait!

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely perverting everything that she holds sacred.**

* * *

_This works for me._

"_Ca Plane Pour Moi" ~ Plastic Bertrand_

Later that night, after barely dragging herself away from her beautiful stranger, Bella went back to what she had now come to think of as her hum-drum life. After a quick jump in the shower before her dad got home, she ran downstairs to finish dinner.

She had prepared the casserole before work, that way when she got home she only needed to throw it in the oven to bake; she was cutting corners anywhere she could think of now to get the most out of her free time. Cooking had always been a fun, relaxing thing for her to do when she got home at night, it always helped her wind down. But now, she could hardly give a shit if she ever ate again... as long as she could slowly starve with _him_.

If it weren't for her need to keep up appearances lately, she would tell Charlie to go back to burning his beloved fish all by himself and not to expect her back for dinner... ever.

While the casserole baked, Bella let her mind wander as she cut up some vegetables for a salad. Unable to stop them, the steamier events of the afternoon replayed themselves in her mind, over and over again: the salty taste of his sweaty skin, the look of hunger on his face as he watched her use her toy, the way he threw his head back and bit his lip before exploding all over her chest.

_God... I can still feel him dripping on my skin. It was so warm... so thick. I wish I didn't have to wash it off so soon, I could have smelled like him all night. _

Bella didn't know what to make of her sudden fondness for ejaculate. Semen had always been a necessary evil in the past, and one that she was happy to have trapped away in a slimy condom after the deed was done, but there was just something _different_ about her stranger. The thought of condoms with him made her want to cry. It was the most potent, pure essence of him, and she couldn't get enough. She wanted it dripping from her everywhere: her pussy, her tits, her mouth.

_What the fuck is wrong with me?_

She had never been so wanton in her life. She had always enjoyed sex to a point, but had never experienced any true freedom in that department... before now. Now... this beautiful man made her body sing out loud with joy; he could play her like a violin. He completely obliterated any last traces of shame or bashfulness whenever they were together.

Scooping the chopped vegetables into a large bowl, Bella found her thoughts drifting from her mysterious partner's sexual prowess to the man himself. Where was he from? Was painting something he did professionally or for fun? How long was he going to be in town? What was he doing for the rest of his life?

What the hell was his name?

She often came back to that one, usually while lying in her bed at night. Nothing she tried to call him seemed to fit, he was just too different from anyone she had ever met before. Whatever his name, she knew it just had to be something unique or uncommon. It would break her heart to find out after all this time that his name was _John_ or _Steve_.

Setting the bowl down on the table with a loud _thud_, Bella decided that it was time she got some answers from him. She knew that she'd never get the big ones answered, at least not yet, but he had been enjoying extracting information from her lately, and she wanted in on the fun.

She was halfway through creating a mental list of questions to use on him the next time she went to the apartment when her father walked in.

"What are you daydreaming about?" he said from the doorway, startling Bella so much that she jumped.

"Nothing," she replied, fighting back a blush.

"You can't fool me," he smiled. "I know that look. You were off in la la land there, weren't you?"

"No!" She couldn't hide her blush this time, so she busied herself with taking the casserole out of the oven. Charlie rarely played around, so she was surprised when he continued with his teasing.

"Come on, you can tell your old man," he smiled. "Were you hearing wedding bells?"

"Huh?" Bella was completely at a loss. _I think it's way too early to talk about wedding bells... I just met the guy. But he IS pretty amazing. _

"You two. Have you ever gotten around to setting a date? I thought you had agreed it would be later this fall."

"Oh," she consciously forced herself to stop from rolling her eyes. _Jake_. He was the last thing on her mind right now. "No... we still haven't set it yet. We had talked about September, but I'm not sure I want it so close to my birthday."

"Hmm, well... better get down to it, Bells. I know you don't want anything fancy, but from what I've heard, it can take months to finalize those plans, even if it's only something small."

"Yeah," she mumbled. "Uh, dinner is ready," she said, eager to change the subject.

Just as they were sitting down to their meal, a loud rumbling could be heard outside, followed by the echoes of heavy footsteps climbing the front stairs.

"Knock, knock," a familiar voice called out, opening the door without waiting to be invited.

"Hey, Jake! How's it going?" Charlie said with a smile. "Come for dinner?" He reached over and pulled out another chair at the small table.

"Yeah, if that's OK." He sat down and looked over at Bella. "I tried to call you earlier to see if we were still on for tonight, but your phone kept going straight to voicemail."

_Shit! _"Sorry about that. I turned it off when I got to the gym. I must have forgotten to turn it back on."

"Well, don't just sit there Jake, dig in!" Charlie helped himself to a large helping of casserole and the tiniest scoop of salad. Jake followed suit, wolfing down the food while barely taking time to chew it.

Bella sat there watching the two men in her life as she barely picked at her own food. Only a week ago, she had thought they were the most important people in the world to her... even if they _were_ a bit annoying at times, Charlie with his damn fish and Jake with his daddy problems and his drinking buddies; but still... she had cared about them. Hell, she still _cared_, but there was something growing inside her that was shifting her priorities around.

For the first time in her life, Bella was putting herself first.

She was getting increasingly irritated with the need to check in or explain where she had been, and Jake's visits were making her resent him for stealing her free time. And of course that would only make her feel guilty for being selfish; he hadn't actually done anything wrong but exist.

_Poor Jake... it's not his fault that I'd rather fuck a complete stranger than let him touch me. _

Bella watched him more closely while he ate, wondering in the back of her mind where it all went wrong. Sure, she could pinpoint one major difference in her life recently, but it didn't change the fact that they had been drifting apart for a while. For a long time now, her feelings for him had been shifting. Whenever she saw him lately, it was as if she were hanging out with a brother or cousin, and having such an intense distraction this week had only served to intensify that feeling.

She remembered back to the first time Charlie had set them up. She had barely been in town for a month, still nursing him back to health, when he had started dropping hints.

"_Do you remember Jacob Black?" He had asked her one day after she had finished feeding him his lunch. At her blank stare he prodded farther. "You know, Billy's son. You used to play with his older twin sisters when you would visit in the summer." _

_Bella vaguely remembered a young boy with big brown eyes running around after them as they played on the beach. "I think so... maybe. Why? And how is Billy these days?" _

"_We don't really talk much lately," Charlie hedged, "but that boy is a great kid. I've tried to keep tabs on him over the years since his mom died." He looked around the room quickly: down at the tray of food on his lap, out the window over her shoulder, anywhere but at her directly. He was obviously nervous."It just seems to me that he could really use a new friend. He's so isolated there on the res, and I'd really hate for him to fall in with a bad crowd. Lord knows Billy never watches after him," he mumbled so low it was almost to himself. "Unless he needs more booze." _

"_So what are you saying, you want me to babysit some guy in his late twenties?" _

"_No, no... nothing like that. He's all grown up, he can take care of himself. I just thought it might be nice for him to make a new friend, that's all."_

"_I don't know, Dad. I just got here... I haven't even really met anyone yet."_

"_Well, then that's a great reason to get to know him." He looked up at her finally, a slight blush tinting his cheeks. "He'll be here tomorrow to take a look at your truck." _

"_Dad!" she gasped. "You shouldn't interfere like that!"_

"_What? That old truck needs a tune up, and he's the best guy to check it out. It used to be his, he completely rebuilt the engine." _

_After debating for a few minutes she let out a deep sigh. "Alright, fine. Just don't push, okay?" _

"_Me? Never." He smiled brightly, grabbing one last bite of his sandwich before she cleared the tray. _

The next afternoon, Bella had been ready for some young goober of a kid to show up at her front door. She was prepared to play nice, but was totally geared up to let the kid down easy. Therefore when the knock came at her door, she was completely _un_prepared for the tall, dark and sexy man standing in front of her.

He had such an enormous smile that his eyes lit up, making him appear to glow. She had been a goner from that moment on, and Charlie wouldn't stop gloating for days.

He had asked her out that day, after allowing her to ogle him for a good two hours while he worked on her truck shirtless. Bella had never seen such lovely brown skin before, and his muscles were insane.

She eagerly accepted, and in the beginning it was... fun. He could make her laugh like nobody she had ever met before, and he seemed to genuinely enjoy her company. When it became physical with them, things never fully clicked, much to Bella's dismay. It wasn't that it was bad... it just didn't feel _right_.

She could sit with him and talk and laugh for hours, but as soon as he would start trying for more, the night just seemed to fizzle.

It didn't help that they never really had a lot of privacy, between his father always being home and hers being bedridden, but even the few times they would find a moment alone it just felt forced. She found him attractive, she enjoyed his company, but the second he would kiss her she would start wondering what was wrong with her... what was missing. She simply chalked it up to her own inexperience and assumed that she was frigid. Even the few men she had been with before always left her wanting, so that led her to believe that either every man in the world was terrible at it... or she was.

When he actually proposed to her, she had begun to think that she would be an idiot to pass him up. He was a great friend, and wasn't that really the most important thing? From what she had heard, all lust would fade over time, but having a true friend leftover when that was done was the secret to a successful marriage. Plus, Charlie couldn't have been happier.

But now? Now she was starting to feel as if she just might know what she'd been missing. Her inner voice wouldn't allow her to ignore the new feelings that her beautiful stranger had been stirring inside her.

_Be honest, Bella. If he asked you to run away with him tomorrow, you would. _

Her inner voice was absolutely right, which scared the living shit out of her. She knew _nothing_ about him, not even his name, but deep down she knew that if he looked her in the eye tomorrow and said he couldn't live without her, she would have to agree. Never mind the fact that they'd barely spoken to each other and had only met a week ago.

_It's just sex, Bella! Get over it. Just enjoy it while it lasts, have a good cry when it's over, and go back to your real life. Jake will still be here, and you can learn to make it work. _

That was her practical side speaking up. Every day it worked its hardest to trample her emotional side into the dirt. Although she knew it was right, she couldn't help but be shocked at how cool and calculating it was towards Jake. Yes, she would hate to stir things up for nothing, but she couldn't ignore the fact that stringing him along was wrong.

However, every single time she had thought about ending it in the past, Charlie would be right there telling her how happy she made him by choosing Jake. She was starting to wonder how much had actually been her _choice_.

"Yoohoo... Bella?" She blinked a few times and realized that Jacob was waving his hand in front of her face. "Where were you just now?"

"She was doing that earlier," Charlie explained as she tried to hide her blush. "I told her that I could practically hear the wedding bells chiming in her brain."

"Oh really?" Jake smiled.

"Yep, I caught her right there daydreaming in front of the stove. Say, when are you two kids gonna finally set a date?" Charlie was on his second helping of casserole; the salad was still sitting on his plate untouched.

"Well, it's a funny thing you should mention that," he returned with a big smile. Reaching into his pocket, he turned to face Bella. "Okay... I told you months ago that I was going to do this. I bet you thought I forgot, but I've just been trying to save up some money." He held out his hand to her, and inside it was a small maroon box.

She stared at it for a moment, not quite sure what was happening.

"Go ahead, silly. Open it up." He held it closer to her, an expectant look on his face.

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion after that. Bella took the small box between her fingers, trying to ignore the sinking feeling of dread as she opened the lid. Inside the satin lining sat a small, delicate diamond ring. It certainly wasn't the biggest diamond she'd ever seen, but she had never cared about that before, and she knew how limited his income was right now.

"Jake... this is too much. You didn't have to do this."

"Oh hush up," he scolded, grabbing the box around her fingers and taking the tiny bauble out. "I told you that one day I would put a diamond on this finger," he said, sliding it into place on her ring finger. "There, that looks much better." He smiled up at her. "Now everyone can see that you're my girl."

"Well it's about damn time, kid," Charlie said, clapping him on the back. Bella was still staring at her hand, dumbfounded, as if she were waiting for the ring to start screaming at her, telling her she was a filthy liar.

"Don't you like it?" Jake's voice was tinged with worry; he had finally bothered to pay attention to the look on her face.

"Of course I do," she said automatically, unable to ignore the driving need to keep everyone happy. "I... uh... just wish you hadn't blown all your money on me."

"Don't worry about that," he dismissed her, pulling her hand close and leaning down to kiss it quickly. "I should have had it when I first asked you. And now that it finally looks official, I feel so much better about setting a date. What do you think of October ninth?"

"Um..." She looked back and forth from Charlie to Jake, matching looks of anticipation on their faces. "Yeah, I guess."

"Hot damn, it's a date!" Jacob jumped up and pulled her to her feet, hugging her tightly. Her father watched them with a smile, his eyes suspiciously wet.

Bella couldn't wait for the night to be over.

/LTIF\\

"Tell me about the first time you ever had sex." It was a quiet whisper in the bedroom, but it was enough to drag him from the brink of his light slumber.

"Mm... what?" Edward had just begun to dream about luscious pink lips and long mahogany tresses, but the soft voice beside him was much more enticing.

"You heard me," Bella blushed. "Tell me about the first time you ever had sex." She was determined to get him to open up this time; she had spent the entire night and all day at work thinking of different things to ask him.

What she hadn't counted on was the dark look that crossed over his features.

"I don't think so."

"Aw... why?" She couldn't keep the pout from her lips as she rolled over and propped herself up on his chest.

He took a deep breath and sighed loudly, looking into the eyes that had filled his every waking thought lately. "Why do you want to know?"

"Well... _because. _You keep asking me new questions every day. It's getting a little one-sided."

He ran his hand through his hair in frustration before resting it on her bare back, slowly stroking a little circular pattern between her shoulder blades. "It's just that... it isn't really a fond memory for me at the moment."

"Come on," Bella coaxed. "You keep saying that we can tell each other anything here. Don't pussy out on the first thing I ask you."

"You're a sassy little bitch when you want to be, aren't you?"

"Yes," she smiled. "Now spill it. Were you young and impressionable? Was it an older woman who was eager to teach you? I'm dying to know."

Edward was quiet for so long that Bella thought he wasn't going to reply. She laid her head down on his chest and huffed, only to be surprised by his velvety voice near her ear.

"It was my—" the word _wife_ stuck in his throat; she didn't deserve that title any more. "College sweetheart, for lack of a better term."

Bella flipped back over and faced him again. "Not until college? _You_?"

"Mm... almost the end of school, actually. What can I say, I'm a fast learner." His smile was wickedly sexy, but she refused to let him distract her.

"What made you wait so long?"

"Well, I wouldn't exactly say I was waiting. I was quite obsessed with the subject, to be honest, but I was ungodly shy. I covered up my insecurities by becoming a pretentious snob; I let people think that nobody was good enough for me."

"Hmm..." Bella mused. "I would have probably just assumed you were gay."

"Excuse me?" The instant arch in his eyebrow made her giggle loudly.

"Well come on, look at you! Any time someone that gorgeous _just doesn't date_ in school, it usually means they are hiding a secret longing for other pretty boys."

"And you're an expert on the homosexual community, are you?"

"No, not at all, but it seems that anyone I ever knew like that was living loud and proud by the time I ran into them again a few years down the road."

He thought for a moment before chuckling. "Maybe that would explain why so many football players used to wink at me when nobody was looking."

"Can't say I blame them. I bet you were delicious even then." She leaned down and kissed his chest, flicking her tongue over one of his flat, dusky nipples, causing it to pebble up. "So some girl finally got her hooks in you?" she prodded.

Edward sighed again, stroking her back more firmly. "If you only knew how appropriate that statement was."

"Bad relationship?"

"To put it mildly," he whispered. His thoughts went back to the first time he had ever seen Tanya at art school. "She was so striking, so glamorous. She intimidated the shit out of me, so of course I went out of my way to avoid her. Well, she must have seen me as a challenge after that or something, because she hunted me down like prey." _And proceeded to chew me up and spit me out._

Bella suddenly didn't want to hear any more; not about this particular girl, at least. The thought of anyone else having their way with him was disturbing enough, which surprised her, but she could tell that something really bad had occurred in his past. It made her want to hunt down whatever skank was responsible and rip her arms off before beating her with them.

"OK, different question," she smiled, leaning over to kiss his other nipple. "What's your favorite position?"

Happy to be changing topics, Edward's mood lightened immediately. His smile nearly blinded her with its brightness. "Do I really have to pick just one?"

"Yes."

"Well, that depends," he pondered.

"On what?"

"On what your goals are," he explained. "Are we talking about favorite position for oral, or for actual sex? And there are different favorites for different reasons. One position might be my favorite for how intimate it is, while another one is my favorite for deeper penetration. There are lots of things to consider before making a statement about favorites."

"Oh... my." Bella's eyes were nearly crossing from the instant rush of heat between her legs. "I guess I never really thought about it like that."

"Would you care for a demonstration?" he practically purred.

"Oh, I think that's a definite yes." She could barely keep the drool off her chin.

"Alright, then... stand up on your knees for me." Bella complied quickly, looking down at him with a question in her eye. "Now... turn around and face my feet." When she did so , she was happy to notice that he was fully aroused again. "That's a good girl. Now scoot over here and straddle me... right over my face."

"Really?" she whispered, lifting her leg over him until it was settled on the other side of his head. "Are you sure about this?" She had always wanted to try this position but had been too embarrassed to ask anyone in the past.

"Fuck yes," he groaned deeply.

She felt his hands come up to grab her hips and pull her down, lining her up closer to his mouth. She waited for him to either say something or _do_ something, but he laid very still for almost an entire minute. The only sound that could be heard in the room was his heavy breathing that was beginning to sound like panting. She could even feel his warm breath landing on her sensitive skin.

"Is... is there something wrong? Did I do something wrong?" Bella called back behind her.

"No," he said quietly, his voice a hoarse whisper. "Matter of fact, I don't think this could be more perfect. You have the most beautiful, delicious pussy I've ever seen."

"Oh," she blushed, thrilling at his praise.

"Now let me show you my favorite position for oral," he growled deeply before digging his fingertips into the flesh of her hips and pulling her down roughly against his mouth. The first warm, wet sweep of his tongue along her slick skin made her buck in surprise, but he held her there firmly with his hands, refusing to let her squirm away from him.

"Holy shit!" she screamed, not fully prepared for his onslaught.

At the first taste of her honey on his tongue, he snarled so loudly that it echoed off the walls. He began lapping at her dripping center, losing himself in the act of devouring her. When he felt her juices beginning to run down his chin he wanted to cry out in satisfaction.

When Bella was able to gather her wits enough to focus on the task at hand, she reached forward and wrapped her fingers around the thick base of his shaft, amazed at how firm such soft skin could feel. He moaned beneath her at the contact, and the vibrations from his mouth did unspeakable things to her body.

She leaned over and brought his cock closer to her, rubbing the tip of it over her lips back and forth a few times before flicking at it with her tongue. He thrust his hips up in response, seeking out the warm depths of her talented mouth. When she finally parted her lips and sucked him inside, they both moaned at the sensation, which sent even more vibrations coursing through each of them.

The next few minutes were full of noises that wouldn't sound very appealing anywhere outside of the bedroom: slurping, grunting, panting, moaning. Bella squirmed against him as her release washed over her in waves, the throaty groan that she let loose wrapping itself around his erection and nearly making him see stars.

"Scoot forward," Edward commanded, smacking her lightly on the ass to get her moving. She reluctantly released him from her mouth and slid farther down his body. As soon as she had cleared his shoulders he put his hands around her waist and lifted her up, setting her down on his lap. Her wet folds were right above him then, sliding along the underside of his cock, which was trapped between their two bodies. "Oh God," he groaned. "You're so fucking wet."

"That's all your fault," she tried to laugh, but was too busy sliding herself against the length of him, driving them both crazy. He maneuvered his hand between them and positioned himself at her dripping entrance.

"Now... sit down on me. I need to be inside you right now."

Bella flexed her hips and sat up, sinking down on him in one thrust. She arched her back and cried out, amazed by how full she felt.

"This," he panted, "this is one of my favorite positions for deeper penetration. Do you feel the difference?" He thrust up into her more forcefully, loving the way her hungry body pulled and gripped him from the inside.

"Yes!" she gasped, unsure of how long she would be able to keep her sanity. He held onto her hips tightly, pulling her down on him as he pushed up. After a few more thrusts Bella fell forward, bracing herself by her hands on the mattress between his legs.

"Don't tell me you're done already," he growled behind her, his thrusts never stopping. "I need to feel you come on me again... as many times as you can before I can't hold it back anymore." She moaned and started pushing back into him harder. "Fuck! You feel too fucking good!"

Bella felt her beautiful stranger's hand sliding back away from her hip, towards where they were connected. She could feel his fingers slipping around between them, rubbing her clit a few times and pulling back again. She wasn't quite sure what he was doing until she felt his wet fingertips circling around her rear entrance.

"Has anyone ever been inside here before?" he asked her, his own moans betraying how excited he was.

"No," she panted, the word barely audible.

"Never? Be honest."

"No, never!"

She felt his fingers applying more pressure as they circled the delicate opening, coaxing it gently until she felt one single fingertip slip inside the tiniest bit.

"Well we will have to fix that one day. I'm going to claim every single part of you, do you understand?"

"Yes!" she cried out, feeling his finger slide the rest of the way in. He was unbelievably gentle, given their awkward positioning and the fact that he was on the brink of his own volcanic orgasm, and the most amazing feeling of dual stimulation sent her over the edge. Her entire body clamped down on him then, gripping him so tightly he had to bite back a scream.

When her shaking finally stopped he pushed her forward a bit until he could pull out, grabbing her quickly and pulling her down to the mattress. "Lie back... fuck, I'm so close... I need to see you when I come."

He flipped over and crawled on top of her, grabbing her legs and wrapping them high around his waist. He quickly guided himself back to her entrance, sinking back inside her slowly. Her body was so tired, but she welcomed him eagerly, only truly happy once he was where he was supposed to be.

Edward got up on his knees, arching over her body to kiss her panting mouth. When he pulled away he whispered against her lips. "This is my favorite position for intimacy." He kissed her again. "I want you to keep your eyes open... look at me, baby."

He slid his hands down her arms and grabbed her by the wrists, bringing them up to pin them to the mattress beside her head. She opened her hands in invitation, and Edward wrapped his fingers around hers, holding her hands tightly while he continued to thrust.

She watched him closely, his beautiful face so full of need that she wanted to cry. Suddenly his focus shifted, and she felt his fingers grip her left hand tighter.

"What the fuck is this?" he panted, stopping his movements and turning her hand over to examine it. When Bella realized what he was talking about her eyes went wide and followed his gaze.

The ring. _Shit! I totally forgot I had that on!_

She looked back at him and was startled to find that anger had replaced his look of bliss. "I asked you a question," he said coldly.

"It's just a stupid ring," she whispered, her voice faltering. "It doesn't mean anything to me when we are here."

"Take it off. Right now." He released her hands long enough to let her pull the offending object off and toss it on the floor. "Now look at me." He grabbed her hands again, lacing his fingers between hers once more. "You will never wear that mother fucking thing in here again, do you understand me?"

"I'm sorry... you said you didn't care," she tried to explain, not understanding why he was reacting so harshly.

"No, I said I didn't want to know. I don't give a shit what goes on outside this room, but I don't want to know about it! Do you see the difference?"

She didn't, really, but if he was OK with pretending the outside world didn't exist, then that was just fine with her. Her happiest moments occurred in this room, away from her boring life.

"Answer me!"

Bella closed her eyes and nodded, and he began to move inside her again, this time much more roughly. She wanted to cry at her stupidity, ruining such a beautiful moment by being so forgetful. Soon she was shocked to feel his lips on hers again, kissing her frantically, his hands gripping her fingers even tighter.

"Don't cry," he gasped against her mouth between his kisses. "Please don't cry..." She began kissing him back and he moaned, his hands shaking in hers. "Open your eyes... _please_... I need to see you."

As soon as warm brown met smoldering jade, he started thrusting harder, kissing her again and again.

"I need you to understand...," he panted, "When we are here... you are _mine_. Mine!"

Bella started moving faster with him, meeting him thrust for thrust, scared by how turned on his words were making her. Their eyes remained locked on each other, the only interruptions being his possessive kisses that she eagerly returned.

"Say it!" he growled. "I need to hear you say it out loud. You. Are. Mine!"

Her body began to convulse around him as she came again, shaking violently with the power of his forceful thrusts.

"Yours!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. "I'm only yours!"

Edward cried out then, the most triumphant, possessive snarl she had ever heard in her life, before his lips came crashing down on hers again roughly and his entire body tensed up. She could feel him then, his seed pumping deep inside of her, as if he was trying to mark her as his for all eternity.

That sounded perfect to her.

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So? Thoughts? Words? Incoherent moaning? Let me have it!

Also, I wanted to let everyone know that a lovely thread has been made for this story in the Twilighted forums. You can find it in the AU/AH group, the link is on my author page. Come by and talk about what you like or dislike... or maybe just drop off some yummy Rob/Edward porn. Can never have enough!


	10. Bad Romance

Alright, I thought I would have this done a few days ago, but this was a HARD chapter to write. I hope that most of you think it was worth it.

Let me just give a few warnings up front about this chapter... if you are bothered by any mention or description of drug use, as well as easily squicked out by any discussion or description of *gasp* anal sex, then you may want to skip this chapter. Or maybe read it through your fingers. ;) If you read it, don't say you weren't warned. So having said that, let there be butter!

Also, I've been told a lot lately that I really should include a panty disintigration warning before each chapter. Well, here's your warning, but by now you should really just already have a spare pair with you, don't you think? ;-)

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all, and is hunting me down to take it back after this chapter.**

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_I want your love and I want your revenge_

_You and me could write a bad romance_

_I want your love and all your lover's revenge_

_You and me could write a bad romance_

_Caught in a bad romance_

_I don't want to be friends._

"_Bad Romance" ~ Lady Gaga_

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Edward laid there in the dark, staring at the brown stains on the ceiling from the leaky roof. He could hear the weather getting worse outside, forming some disgusting mixture of snow and rain that was too offensive to be called sleet. He had been in the same spot for over an hour... since the exact moment his beautiful girl had left.

_But she's not your girl, is she?_ He couldn't keep from taunting himself. _She belongs to someone else... someone who has absolutely no taste in rings. It probably took him months to save up for that little ugly chip of a diamond. _

He knew that it wasn't fair of him to hold such vitriol for someone he had never even met. This was a tiny blue collar town on the Olympic Peninsula; his family made up most of the wealth in the entire population. She probably had no idea what a piece of crap that thing was.

_It didn't suit her at all. I would have chosen something so much more appropriate for her, even on the same budget. _

Groaning loudly in frustration, he rolled over and shoved his face in the pillow, but that only served to stir her scent around him even more than it had been. _Fuck!_

He needed to get a fucking grip. His head had been full of these thoughts ever since he'd seen that fucking craptastic ring on his girl's... on _her_ finger. It had been eating at him to the point of agony, and he didn't know what part was worse: the fact that he now knew for certain that she was taken, or the fact that he cared so much.

He had been overcome with a blinding rage, fueled by a completely ridiculous sense of jealousy. Not directed at her, but at the outside world for daring to intrude on what was _his_, at the physical evidence that she cared about someone more than she cared about _him_. That thought fucked with him most of all. It made no sense. None.

Edward didn't do jealous.

His wife had learned that the hard way. She wasted so many years throwing herself at others, just hoping to make him angry enough to fight for her. He never did.

He had told her right from the first time he noticed her little games that he had no interest in playing along. She wasn't happy about it, Tanya _craved_ the drama, but by then she had already discovered what kind of money he was worth and what untapped talent he possessed. So she did away with the theatrics for a while and approached him like a business partner. The business of marriage.

"_Listen Eddie, we are different than these nobodies. We have the potential for something amazing here. With my family and your family, the opportunities for us are endless. You have the ability to become truly great, and with my head for business I can make that happen."_

_He looked at her in disbelief. "Tanya, we've been together less than a year. It's been unbelievably hot, don't get me wrong, but I never really got the impression that you were in love with me. I just assumed you would dump me when school was over."_

"_How can you say that?" she pouted. "Of course I love you! I thought I had shown you just how much." He was surprised that her nose wasn't growing longer as she spoke, but it was nice to hear, regardless. "But darling, I'm not talking about love right now... no matter how much I love you," she added quickly. "I'm talking partnership." _

"_How can you talk about marriage so lightly? As if it were a business transaction?" _

"_Because I'm smart enough to know that the best marriages are."_

Something in her attitude struck a chord with him. He had never experienced the mopey, clingy neediness that was synonymous with _love_. His parents were deeply in love, and his siblings had dated their fair share in school, but he had never met anyone he simply couldn't be without. Even Tanya, with her open sexuality that kept him coming back for more, was not someone he would say he was _attached_ to; he simply enjoyed fucking her, and she enjoyed having a rich boyfriend to take home to mommy.

But he _was_ attached to his art.

His painting was the closest thing to love he had ever felt. The way he could lose himself in creating something, give himself completely over to an emotion, only to have a tangible piece of it when he was done never failed to amaze him.

So for Tanya to offer him fame and fortune doing something that he loved so much, as well as come along for the ride as a pleasant physical release without demanding that he show her the same emotion as his art, well... he was surprised at how quickly he accepted. He was young and full of himself, and having her around to feed his ego only made him more of a pompous ass.

The arrangement had actually been rather successful for a while. She really did have a good head for business, and once she took over managing him and put their family contacts to good use, they were the hit of Europe within months of arriving. Edward had access to anything he needed, including her and her myriad amusements, and she had her new famous last name.

He hadn't realized until it was too late just how dependent he had become on her. She controlled everything, down to the tiniest detail, and whenever he would show the slightest sign of being unhappy she would find a new distraction for him. He had thought she was the best friend he'd ever had, that it must have grown into _some_ form of love, even if not the kind you read about. He thought she had been taking such good care of him, but she turned out to simply be protecting her investments.

He knew it needed to end when he finally hit bottom. He had been face down on the floor of some random Parisian hotel bathroom, a pool of vomit drying next to him and blood caked around his nose when he woke up after a four day cocaine bender. The first thought that had entered his mind when he finally regained consciousness wasn't '_Where am I?_' or '_How did I get here?_' but rather "_What kind of partnership is this?_"

He'd found her there in the bedroom, passed out between another young couple in the nude, cocaine residue smeared over every flat surface he could see. Without thinking twice he threw a few things into an overnight bag and walked out, not even leaving her a note.

After checking himself into the nearest rehab center he could find, he spent weeks getting himself cleaned up. He somehow found the strength to quit cold turkey, but the detox and craving that his body went through could still give him nightmares if he thought about it too long.

He missed his home... he missed his family. He couldn't remember the last time he had spoken to any of them. He had started to believe that everything would better if he could just jump on a plane and go back, make a fresh start; surely his family would welcome him home with open arms. It all seemed so clear.

Until Tanya found him there.

He still had no idea how she'd found him; the woman's resources were terrifying. The second she saw him she had started crying and playing up the role of the wounded victim, demanding to know how he could just walk out on her without even a word. When that failed to get the response she wanted, she got angry.

Tanya when she was angry was almost an art in itself. She never yelled, she never ranted, but you could physically see the exact moment when she was done being deceitful and ready to be truly cutthroat. Her entire body would still and her features would freeze, as if she were finally letting the ice in her heart flow through her veins.

She had turned on him then, like a viper, and proceeded to strike at the heart of his insecurities. As if she had been reading his mind, she told him he was a fool if he thought that his family would want anything to do with him now. They would never accept a filthy addict into their home, it would be too humiliating, and they had their image to protect. She told him that if he went home now he would become nothing more than a broken down has-been and his family would probably need to move away out of shame.

Looking back at the conversation now, Edward didn't know who he was angrier with: Tanya for saying such hurtful things, or himself for actually believing them.

After she had worked him over until he was ready to curl up into a ball and cry, she reminded him that he still had her. She would _always_ be there for him, unlike his family. She would never run away from him. If he would only come back with her, they could start over. Another town, another show, before long he would forget that any of this had ever happened.

He went back with her that day.

He made her swear that there would be no more drugs involved, and she promised, but he had no idea how lost she already was. She never forced them on him any more, he was allowed to go about his painting on his own terms, but her hard partying lifestyle had finally caught up with her.

Hating the memories that were flooding back, Edward focused on the problem at hand. Why was he suddenly jealous now? He had been through a nasty roller coaster of a marriage and the most he had ever felt for her was a sorrow that she had never been able to get better. Why did this small town nothing of a girl hold any attraction for him at all?

The only thing they knew about each other was that they were compatible sexually. Alright... _more_ than compatible. But something about this girl made him want more than sex. He wanted to hold her when she slept and kiss her when she awoke. He wanted to ask her more about herself than her sexual history. He actually... _cared_. And that freaked the shit out of him.

He wasn't ready for this. He didn't want to care... he didn't want it to be real. He didn't want to need her so badly.

He kept telling himself that if he only wanted her body, things wouldn't get serious. He could enjoy her company and feel perfectly fine with letting her go whenever he decided it was time to leave town again. He should be thrilled that she was engaged.

But he wasn't.

Seeing that ring had made her more than a fantasy to him. It reminded him that she had an entire life outside of this shitty room that he had no knowledge of, and that made him angry. The thought of anyone else putting their hands on her porcelain skin made his stomach roll. The idea of her gasping and crying out someone else's name in the dark made him feel sick.

Edward knew deep down that if he was already feeling this attached, he should probably end it now before it only got worse... but that thought made him feel even sicker. He was becoming addicted to her. Her scent was the only thing that could soothe him any more.

Deciding that it was pointless to spend any more time obsessing over it that night, he buried his face in the pillow again and inhaled deeply. As soon as he breathed her in, he was surrounded with a warmth that his body was beginning to welcome.

Once again, he was asleep within minutes.

/LTIF\\

That Saturday afternoon, Bella was already feeling claustrophobic and cranky. Her bedroom walls felt like they were closing in on her, and even her cats couldn't cheer her up.

She missed him. The thought of going _another_ whole weekend without him made her want to scream.

That's why when Jacob called her to ask if she wanted to do dinner at his house that night, she actually jumped at the chance to get out of there. Even a night with Billy Black's drunken ramblings would be better than sitting around and pouting all day. When he picked her up in his beat up Rabbit twenty minutes later, she was waiting impatiently by the door.

"Hey babe," he said with a smile as she jumped in the car. He kissed her on the cheek and backed out of the drive, heading to the store for groceries.

"I thought I'd make spaghetti for dinner. Do you think Billy will like that?"

"Shit, he'd be thrilled to get _anything_ that I didn't make. And you can only eat so many microwave dinners." He winked at her before turning his gaze back to the road. "I gotta be honest, I'm a bit surprised that you agreed to come over so easily. I just thought it was time that you got to know Dad a little better... you know, get more comfortable at my place."

"I know, you're right." She was only half listening to him, looking around at the storefronts as they drove through town.

"I've got some news," he said a few minutes later, breaking the silence.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah... I just found out about it last night though, so I hope you aren't mad about it."

"OK, spill it."

"I'm gonna be gone for a few days... maybe a week. Sam wants me to ride with him to Oregon to pick up a car that he's buying for Emily. We thought we'd take our time and make a trip out of it, stay over a couple nights here and there. Maybe stop over in Seattle while we're out and see my sister."

"Wow, that's quite a road trip!" Bella said, her enthusiasm unmistakable.

"So you're not mad?" He looked over at her suspiciously. "I probably won't be back in time for Valentine's Day. I'm sorry."

"Of course I'm not mad, don't be silly. I didn't even remember that Valentine's was coming up so soon. That was nice of Sam to ask you instead of Paul or Embry."

"Well, he needs Paul to hang back and run the garage, for one. But he did say that he'd rather have me along in case it needs a tune up. He thinks I'm the better mechanic."

"That's really great, Jake. I'm proud of you." Bella smiled at him as he pulled into the parking lot. She had forgotten how nice it could be when they were able to just talk... as friends. It happened so rarely anymore.

They walked inside, Jake insisting on pushing the cart around because 'women were terrible drivers,' an ongoing bad joke that he used to make Bella roll her eyes whenever they shopped together. They moved throughout the store, gradually filling the cart for dinner as they talked about their weeks at work. He told her about Leah Clearwater's flooded carburetor and Bella laughed with him about James and Dr. Wylde's not-so-secret affair.

It felt like old times again, which made her sad if she thought about it too long. She wondered how much was really different between them now, and how much was her projecting her own unhappiness on him. Was he really so distant from her now, or did she just imagine it to soothe her guilt?

As they loaded up the groceries into the back of his cluttered car, he leaned down and quickly stole a peck on the lips before smiling again and getting into the drivers seat. Bella stood there for a moment, frowning. Still dry... and cold. Nothing. She wasn't imagining it... there just wasn't any spark left, if it had ever been there at all.

She suddenly got the strange feeling that someone was watching her, like a tingle up the back of her neck, but when she looked around the lot for a familiar face she didn't see anyone other than the regular customers going about their business.

"You coming?" Jake's voice carried back to her from the front of the car.

"Yeah," she mumbled, turning around and getting in.

As they drove through town back towards the reservation, Bella stared out the window, lost in her thoughts. She was startled back to reality at one point when Jake slammed on the brakes, cursing under his breath.

"What's wrong?" she asked, trying to get her breathing under control.

"Sorry, babe. It's just this fucking Volvo won't stop riding my ass." He turned off the road towards the reservation, flipping the bird out the window as the silver car sped by. "Yeah, fuck you too, buddy," he muttered.

They parked in front of the little red house and went in with the groceries, not noticing as the Volvo made another lap in the opposite direction.

/LTIF\\

_Fucking musclebound Quileute dickhead._

Edward was sitting on the floor of the main room of the apartment, propped up against the wall. He was staring at a blank canvas that he'd just propped on the easel, trying to visualize his next painting.

But all he could see was _her_... being kissed by _him_. It should make him feel better that she hadn't responded at all, but it only made him feel worse. _Why the fuck is she even with him, then?_ _Whenever I kiss her she explodes into flames. _

He hadn't meant to follow them.

He had been running a few errands yesterday, picking up a few more art supplies, when he decided that it wouldn't kill him to have a few groceries around the place, since he was practically living here now. It was only supposed to be a studio... but he felt so much better when he was here lately. He hadn't even had any nightmares in days.

He hadn't seen them inside the store at all, but when he was getting ready to pull out of his parking spot something just made him look up. Directly at them. It was as if his eyes were drawn to her like a magnet.

The big burly idiot had been tossing bags in the car before leaning down to steal a kiss, and it had taken everything inside of Edward to keep from jumping out of the car and socking him in the jaw. Even though he was seeing through a blood red rage cloud, he couldn't take his eyes off her face. She looked so sad... so alone.

The next thing he knew, he was driving. It was simply instinct... his body following hers. He hated to think how easily he could have rear-ended them when the neanderthal had slammed on his brakes; his eyes had been locked on her profile through the back window the entire time. _That would have been an awkward accident report._

He had felt something painful deep in the pit of his stomach when they both went into the tiny little house on the reservation. Suddenly the pitiful ring made much more sense. Did they live there together? What was she missing there that kept her coming back to him?

Edward sighed deeply and threw his head back against the wall in frustration. "Fuck!" he gritted through his teeth. He wondered why he had to pick now to give a shit about... anything.

In an effort to distract himself, he broke another chunk off the long loaf of french bread that he'd purchased and smothered it with a thick glob of butter from the open stick he had sitting next to him on the floor. He hadn't even bothered to grab a knife, digging into the room temperature spread with his fingers and smearing it over the fresh bread.

He sucked his long fingers clean before taking a large bite, chewing loudly while he regarded the blank canvas again. As a few different images began to filter through his mind, he could hear a familiar light cadence outside in the hallway... slowly climbing the steps.

He stopped mid-chew and stared at the door, not bothering to get up. He almost thought his ears were playing tricks on him until the knob began to turn, that amazing sound of tumblers turning in the lock making his insides melt. The door opened in slow motion before him, revealing the most lovely face he could have ever hoped to see at that moment.

His brunette goddess entered with a smile so bright that her eyes were glowing. She was in her standard gym attire again, this time sporting a pair of dark gray pants and a light blue shirt emblazoned with the words _Part Time Model _in black letters. She shut the door behind her and crossed the room, stopping once she was standing right in front of him, crouching down until she was looking him in the eye.

"Morning, Stranger," she whispered, the smile never leaving her face. He couldn't keep from glancing quickly at her fingers. All bare. Good.

"What's got you in such a good mood this morning?" he replied, still feeling sore about _feeling_, but already noticing her contagious good mood spreading throughout his senses.

"Well," she sighed, "it's the weekend... and I have found an entire day to be just where I want to be." She leaned forward slowly and brought her lips to his, kissing him lightly. When she pulled back she flicked her tongue out and licked her lips, tasting the slightest hint of butter. "Mm... you taste rather savory today."

Bella sat down next to him, propping herself against the wall. She reached over and took the chunk of bread from between his fingers, biting off a small piece before starting to giggle. He arched an eyebrow in question, silently asking what she found so funny. She nodded towards the loaf of bread and said in a deep, deadpan voice, "Baguette!" When he didn't seem to understand the joke, she continued. "Je voudrais une croissant. Je suis enchante."

Recognition dawned on Edward's face when he remembered the goofy Flight of the Conchords tune, _Foux Du Fafa_, that did nothing but spit out random french sentences. Chuckling lightly, he added in his best deep voice, "Ou est le bibliotheque? Voila mon passport!"

She shared another smile with him then that he felt all the way down in his groin... after first leaving his stomach fluttering in the strangest way. It was a sweet smile, actually, that somehow told him she was so happy to have finally found someone as crazy as she was.

Changing the subject before he allowed himself to read anything more into her body language, he thought he might try another line of questioning. "So are you just a big Conchords freak, or is it all things New Zealand?" He tried to ignore how loud his heart pounded when her eyes lit up.

"Oh, New Zealand, all the way!" she gushed. "I didn't know much about it before I started getting into the Conchords a few years ago, but I just love so much about the culture."

"Have you ever been there?"

"Oh God no, I could never afford that," she sighed. "But if I could go anywhere..." She didn't need to finish her thought, the wistful look on her face said it all. She blushed a deep red when she noticed he was watching her closely. Taking another quick bite from the bread, she used it to give her a moment to catch her breath before handing it back to him.

They sat together in silence for a few minutes, their simultaneous chewing the only sound.

"So," Bella finally said, gesturing to the canvas. "What exactly are we looking at here?"

"Well... it's supposed to be my next great masterpiece. Right now it's nothing."

"No," she whispered, meeting his eyes again. "Never nothing."

Edward had no choice after that... he had to kiss her. He shifted slightly until their noses were almost touching, inhaling her deeply before bridging the gap and settling his mouth over hers. Rather than the explosion of fire that they were used to, it was a slow burn that spread over them both, radiating throughout their bodies until even their fingers felt like they were glowing.

Neither of them had ever felt anything so sweet.

Somehow he forced himself to break it, resting his forehead against hers and exhaling. "So you have all day?" he whispered, almost afraid to open his eyes and find out he'd misunderstood her.

"Yes." He could feel the warm sweetness of her breath on his lips as she answered him. "Unless you need to work?" her voice faltered. "I'd hate to be a distraction."

"Oh, you're a distraction alright," he groaned, lifting his hand to the back of her head and spearing his fingers through her hair. "To my sanity."

He pulled her mouth back to his and kissed her more roughly, pouring every drop of anger and uncertainty he'd felt over the last few days into it until it grew more and more heated. When she gasped at the onslaught, he slipped the tip of his tongue between her soft lips and caressed it against her own.

She responded instantly, moaning into him and running her hands frantically up across his chest and shoulders, desperate for something to grab onto. When she had finally fisted enough material from his tattered t-shirt between her fingers she yanked him towards her.

He followed with a hungry moan.

Wrapping his other hand around her waist, he leaned her back slowly onto the floor, never breaking contact with her delicious mouth as he slid one knee up between her thighs. She spread them eagerly, stretching her legs up around his hips, allowing him to settle his weight there more firmly. His now painful erection was pressed up against her, and the friction of him felt so good there, even through their clothes, that she couldn't stop herself from rocking her hips up into him.

Edward groaned through the kiss, shifting his hips into her again and running his hands over everywhere he could reach on her body at once. He stroked her hair, caressed her cheeks and cupped her firm breasts through the material of her shirt before finally grabbing her hips and pulling her into him again, grinding himself even harder there.

"Please!" Bella gasped around his strong lips, gripping and pulling at his shirt around his back, trying to lift it up but getting it bunched up around his moving arms. "God... please!"

Edward pulled back long enough to get the offending shirt over his head, tossing it over in the corner before attacking her mouth again. She let out a blissful sigh once her fingers came in contact with his warm skin, sinking them into his back when she was treated to another grind of hips.

He tugged at her shirt, pulling it up just enough to see her lacy bra. With another loud groan he buried his face in her cleavage, fondling and squeezing her breasts before yanking the lace down. A small rip could be heard as her dark, erect nipples were exposed to his ravenous mouth. He feasted on her swollen peaks, licking and sucking them while sliding one hand down between their bodies and cupping her sex.

"Are you wet for me?" he panted against her lips, bringing his hand back up long enough to slide it behind the waistband of her panties. She could only respond with a moan as she nodded, and his fingers sank into her slippery wetness, giving him all the answer he needed. "_Fuck_," he gasped, quickly pulling his fingers free and shoving them in his mouth.

When the taste of her juices hit his tongue he snarled, a new wave of need washing over him. He had to be inside her body... if he wasn't buried deep inside her in the next minute he knew he would go insane. He sat back on his knees, knowing that she would follow. As soon as she had gotten up on her knees to face him, he kissed her one more time roughly before grabbing her and turning her around.

She arched back against him, bringing one hand up behind his head to tug on his hair, while at the same time rubbing her backside against the throbbing bulge in the front of his jeans. He grabbed her by the back of her hair and pulled her head back, nipping and licking at her lips.

"I _need_ you," he gritted through his teeth.

"Then I'm yours," she gasped.

Neither of them realized how true each other's words actually were.

Edward bit back a growl as he began to pull on her pants, sliding them roughly over the swell of her hips while he nipped and licked at her neck. As soon as her pants were down around her knees and her delectable ass was uncovered, he pushed her forward to guide her onto her hands and knees. Perhaps later he could take his time and look her deep in the eye while he lost himself inside her, but right now he didn't even have the patience to even take the rest of her clothes off.

Fumbling with the fly of his pants, he no sooner got his jeans around his hips than his leaking cock was in his hand and he was guiding it to her scorching heat. Arching her back, Bella offered him a perfect angle for entrance, and he thrust himself inside with one swift movement.

They both cried out at the sudden contact.

Edward began pushing himself inside her, desperate to feel her climax on him again. He leaned forward enough to reach one of his hands around to the front of her, sliding his fingers through her wetness and swirling them around her clitoris in time with each thrust. She was shattering into a thousand pieces within seconds.

"Oh God oh God oh GOD!" Bella wailed, her inner muscles gripping him tightly inside her. Edward almost asked her to say his name, wanting more than anything to hear it falling from her kiss-swollen lips, until he remembered at the last second that she didn't even know it.

_And why, exactly, was that such a good idea again? _At the moment he wasn't quite sure.

He slowed his movements a bit, allowing her to regain some energy so that she didn't fall forward on her face. He was close, but he wanted her full participation. He rand his hands up her back, helping her take her shirt the rest of the way off. Once it had been tossed aside to rest next to his, she turned back and looked at him over her shoulder, a bright blush staining her cheeks.

"What could you possibly be embarrassed about right now, my beautiful girl?"

Bella moaned again, loving the sound of him calling her _his_. That was exactly what she needed to hear right now, especially considering what she was about to request. She swallowed down any nervousness she might have been feeling, knowing that this man was the only one she would ever want to share this with. Because even if it was only for while she was in this room... she was _his_. Body and soul.

"Come on, out with it." He smirked at her playfully, pushing his hips into her for good measure. Feeling him sliding inside her only served to distract her again, but after she remembered what the heck she had been trying to say, she smiled at him and felt her cheeks flame again.

"I was just... well... I've been thinking about what you did the other day... what you said. I think I'd—" she took a deep breath before continuing. "I think I'd like you to try it."

She watched as the realization of what she was asking dawned on him. His mouth dropped open for a second before he could catch it, and his gaze kept shifting from her eyes to her bottom. "Now?" he barely croaked. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," she whispered. "Yes, now... yes, I'm sure." She looked him directly in the eye before adding, "Yes... with you. _Only_ you."

How he didn't come right there on the spot was beyond him.

Somehow the enormity of what she was asking him outweighed the sexiness. He was suddenly very overwhelmed with the need to make this comfortable for her; he didn't know if he could promise total pleasure the first time, even though he would try, but he damn well wasn't going to give her pain.

_Fuck! If I'd only known she would be ready for this so fast I would have bought some lube. _

Scolding himself for his stupid rookie mistake of _ever_ being unprepared, he made a mental note to buy some the second he left again. While he was debating if he should be the world's biggest idiot and ask her to wait here while he ran to get some, his eyes locked on something sitting on the floor.

The butter.

Now he knew without a doubt that he had definitely crossed the border into crazy town. Never in a million years would he have even considered using butter as lubrication, but never in a million years would he have imagined that he would be here with the woman of his dreams, asking him to provide her first experience with anal and he'd be caught without _fucking lube_!

As a final act of desperation, he kicked his leg out and hooked it with his foot, dragging it back to his side. Before he could talk himself out of it, he dug his fingers into the warm stick and pulled a decent amount up to her rear entrance. He hadn't pulled himself out of her yet, wanting the feeling to stay pleasurable for her for as long as possible while he prepared her.

"Alright," he whispered, "this is going to feel just like the last time to begin with, OK? You liked that, right?"

"God yes," she moaned.

Edward slowly inserted one finger inside her, gently moving deeper as her muscles relaxed to allow him entrance. She groaned loudly, pushing herself back against him slightly once she had grown accustomed to the feeling. Very carefully, he added a second finger, stretching her gradually as he massaged the butter inside her, coating her so thickly that his fingers began to slide in and out rather easily. By that point she was moaning and rocking back and forth, and it took every ounce of his energy to keep from exploding at the sensation.

"OK... OK... slow down, baby." He slowly pulled out of her gripping wetness, missing the contact instantly, but even more excited by what he was about to do. Holding himself firmly, he replaced his fingers with the tip of his erection. He had barely brushed against the puckered opening, but the sight of being so close to her there made his stomach flip over in anticipation. "Now listen to me," he said quietly. "I'm going to go very, very slowly at first, alright?" When she nodded he continued. "If at any point this gets too uncomfortable for you, I want you to tell me immediately, do you understand?"

"Yes."

"Do you trust me to try and make this as pleasurable for you as possible? You won't enjoy this at all if you can't relax your muscles, and you can't relax if you don't trust me."

"Yes," she whispered. "I trust you. I wish I knew why... but I trust you more than anyone I've ever met."

Rocked by her words, Edward raised a shaking hand to her back, stroking her softly up to her shoulder where he squeezed her quickly and let go, as if in a silent thank you. He brought it back down to brace her hip in place as he started to work himself inside her.

Slowly... so slowly that he barely noticed any movement at first, he watched as his broad tip gradually entered her. He would move forward half an inch, only to withdraw even more, letting the butter do it's job to let him slide along her muscles more easily. He heard her gasp and huff a few times, and each time he would ask if she was alright, but she would only grit her teeth and adjust her position, working through the initial discomfort.

He could feel her relaxing and stretching to accommodate his girth, and when he had finally seated himself inside her completely he had to still his movements for a moment and take a deep breath. He wanted to let her get used to the feel of him before he started moving again, but the effort was making sweat stand out on his forehead. It was the softest, tightest sensation he had ever felt in his life... and he didn't think he was going to last longer than about two pumps.

Bella was breathing deeply, adjusting to the feeling of having him so deep inside her. It was uncomfortable... but she wouldn't say it _hurt_. He was being so slow and gentle with her that it was nothing more than a warm, stretching fullness. Yes... _full_. She could feel him everywhere inside her at once, like the blood that pounded through her veins. He was consuming her.

"I want you to lay down," he gritted through his teeth, breaking the silence. "Move slowly, we'll go together. You can still prop up a bit on your elbows and knees if you want, but I need to lean forward on my arms." When she looked back at him, she was startled to see that every vein was standing out on his face and neck, and he was squeezing his eyes shut and biting his bottom lip. It was breathtaking to behold. Feeling her gaze on him, he opened his eyes, scorching her with their heat. "It's just... so fucking _intense_. I need more leverage; I'm afraid I'm going to lose my balance and hurt you."

Bella nodded quickly, touched by his honesty. She slowly moved forward until she had stretched out beneath him, thrilling to the sensation of his warm body covering hers. He propped himself up on his elbows on each side of her arms, kissing her shoulder a few times before she felt his hot breath breathing shallowly at her ear.

"OK... I'm going to move now," he whispered. She felt him shifting his hips, pulling himself out of her slightly. He slid fairly easily, but her body still gripped at him so tightly that he whimpered as he moved. "_Fuck_," he groaned, biting her shoulder as he pushed back inside. He moved his hands closer until they were covering her own, lacing through the backs of her fingers, holding them tightly.

It didn't hurt nearly as bad as she had been afraid of, and hearing him coming undone like that was arousing her all over again. She lay there for a while, feeling the steady drag and slide of him as he flexed his hips back and forth slowly, and it didn't take long before his sultry voice was back at her ear.

"You're doing so good, baby," he panted, his voice shaking. "You are so fucking beautiful... you feel so amazing... _God_!" His entire body shivered above her. She felt his left hand release her fingers, sliding back up her arm and down her side, until he slipped it around her hip and settled it between her legs. The next time he thrust forward, she felt his fingers rubbing and circling her swollen clit.

"_Oh!_" she gasped. The dual stimulation was becoming... interesting.

Edward was barely holding on. "Please," he begged, sounding desperate. "_Please_ come for me, baby... I need to feel you... do you think you can?"

He kept up his swirling patterns on her throbbing bundle of nerves, and before long Bella was grinding herself against him, trapping his hand between her and the floor. After only a few seconds they had built up an amazing rhythm together; Bella would rock forward into his hand and he would rock forward into her, only to start it all over again.

"Oh... oh God..." her body was shaking; he was everywhere... everywhere around her... everywhere inside her... and she was falling... falling into oblivion. "Oh _fuck_!" she screamed, her body convulsing as she rode out her release.

"Yes baby, that's it... oh fuck yes, that's it... I can feel you squeezing me even tighter... oh... oh shit... FUCK!" he threw his head back and cried out, finally losing control. His body tensed up painfully before exploding in the most intense, blinding pleasure he had ever felt. Between his ears ringing and his vision blurring, he wondered if anyone had ever died from an orgasm overdose.

Gently shifting to her side and slowly pulling out of her, Edward wrapped himself around her tightly, almost protectively. "Are you OK?" he whispered against her neck.

"Mm," she nodded, exhausted. "Better than OK." He had been so gentle with her; she had never felt so precious to anyone.

He wanted to take her into the shower and spend his time cleaning her and helping her to wind down, but he was suddenly so sleepy that he hoped she didn't mind resting for just a moment or two first.

Burying his face in her hair and inhaling deeply, he barely had the energy to whisper one last thing to her before closing his eyes and drifting to sleep.

"Thank you for trusting me."

xxx

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OK, please be gentle with me! That was my very first attempt at writing an anal scene, and I had to find a way to work butter in there! I really hoped to make it erotic and less technical sounding, but I don't know if I accomplished that. Also, I really wanted it to be much more loving than the horrible one in the movie.

Let me know what you thought. Even if you didn't like it, that's fine, just don't yell at me. ;-)


	11. Come Undone

Alright... I know some of you have been waiting for it, knowing something was bound to happen. Well, we have finally reached some heartfail and angst. But it's not the one you were all expecting. Not yet.

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. She would curl up in a corner and cry if she ever read what I've done with her characters.**

* * *

_We'll try to stay blind_

_To the hope and fear outside_

_Hey child, stay wilder than the wind_

_And blow me in to cry_

_Who do you need... who do you love..._

_When you come undone?_

"_Come Undone" ~ Duran Duran_

x

xx

xxx

The next few days were full of more pleasure than Bella could have ever imagined in her wildest dreams.

By some great miracle, The Gods of Infidelity were smiling down on her when she had gone back home Sunday evening. She had been all ready to go home and put on a brave face, making dinner while she suffered through the piercing agony of being away from her beautiful stranger yet again, only to find out that not only was her fiance out of town for the entire week, but her father had been put on the night shift for the next month.

She almost couldn't contain herself when Charlie had told her over their plates of hamburger helper. After she fought through the initial urge to jump up and down and do cartwheels around the living room, she still had trouble paying attention to him for the rest of the night. Her mind could only think selfish, joyous thoughts from that point on. No more dinners. No more excuses. No more rushing through things and leaving within an hour or two just to go where she didn't even want to be.

Bella could get used to that.

From the next day on, the week turned into one giant orgasmic blur, separated only by brief intermissions so that she could go to work and go home to sleep. She was sorely tempted to stay over for the night, but she was paranoid that Charlie would come home while she was gone and find her bored cats ripping the house apart in protest of being ignored. Spoiled rotten brats.

It didn't help that his hints for her to stay were becoming less than subtle. Every time she would go to leave, he would find a new way to distract her into staying longer. Whenever they would nod off afterward out of exhaustion, which was pretty much every time, he would hold her tightly to him as soon as he would feel her stirring. One time the bastard had even begun stroking her hair and humming softly in her ear, trying to lull her back to sleep. It was getting increasingly difficult to say no when it was the last thing in the world she really wanted to say.

Bella sighed to herself, unable to concentrate on the buzz of office activities going on around her. Although she was supposed to be updating a patient's chart, she was letting her mind wander back _yet again_ to the previous afternoon.

"I don't know the first thing about painting," Bella had admitted, watching him apply broad strokes of color across the pristine canvas. "But I certainly do love to watch you do it." It didn't hurt that he was shirtless again.

"Care for a demonstration?" he smirked.

"Yes!" she squeaked. After the last _demonstration_ he'd given her, she knew that the answer was always yes.

What she assumed would be a playful bout of doodling stick figures in a notebook quickly took a turn for the erotic. Before she knew what was happening, her stranger had rolled out a drop cloth across the floor and stripped her bare, laying her down right in the middle of it. With palette in hand, he slowly began painting lazy, sensual strokes of color along her fair skin.

He went through every brush in his case, explaining the difference of each width and texture. When he ran out of brushes he smirked again, telling her that it was time to explore the sorely underrated art of finger painting. Dipping his long, slender fingers into a freshly mixed dollop of a lovely shade of aquamarine, he proceeded to smear the oils around her nipples and down her stomach. Before long, single finger strokes were replaced with whole hand prints across her flesh, and the entire effect was mirrored onto his own torso once he covered her body with his.

The amount of scrubbing and touching that was needed to clean each other off later only served to ignite another heated sex fest in the shower. It had been so steamy... and slippery... and—

"Yoohoo, Earth to Bella!"

"Huh?" she was startled back from dreamland, jerking upright when she realized that Angela was sitting right next to her and waving her hand in front of her face.

"Where were you just now? You looked like you were about to start drooling any second."

"Oh... I uh... guess I just zoned out there for a minute." Hazy images of him standing under the spray with water streaming down his back were trying to cling to her conscious mind. They refused to be shoved away for later, and who could blame them, really?

"I'll say, I was trying to get your attention forever."

"I'm sorry, Angela. What did you need?"

"Oh, I didn't need anything, really," she said, laughing lightly. "I just came to tell you that I had to help that kid again with the weird old grandma that always brings him. You know, the one with the Yoda forehead?"

"Ugh, yeah. That is the creepiest forehead I've ever seen on anyone, especially a woman. It's even creepier than Mare Winningham's."

"Oh my God, isn't that the frumpy chick in St. Elmo's Fire? Man, I never thought about it before; her forehead _is_ creepy!" They both erupted in a fit of laughter that was rudely interrupted by the loud beep on Bella's phone.

"What now?" Bella sighed to herself before picking up the receiver. Angela gestured that she was going back to work as Bella pushed the flashing page button. "Yeah?"

"Bella, you have a patient call on line four," Jessica snapped. "They asked for you specifically."

"OK, thanks." She clicked over to the other line. "Thanks for holding, this is Bella. How can I help you?"

"Bella?" a panicked voice croaked. "It's Rose Cullen. Can you help me? I'm freaking out a little bit."

"Hi, Rosalie. I'll see if I can help. What seems to be the problem?"

"I'm spotting," she whispered, as if merely saying it out loud was painful. "Please don't give me the spiel about how this happens to most women. Nothing about my pregnancies have been what happens to most women."

"No, no, I wasn't about to say that. When did it start?"

"Overnight I think. It's not heavy, but it's there."

"Alright... have you been doing anything strenuous? Have you had sex in the last twenty four hours?"

"No! I've been too scared to!" she cried.

"OK, OK... are you having any cramping?"

"No, not yet. Is there any way that you could squeeze me in for an ultrasound today? I'm not due for my next one for two more weeks, but this is exactly how all of the others started. I won't be able to calm down until I know the heart is still beating."

"I understand, but don't you live in Seattle? Wouldn't you rather go to a local hospital to be seen quicker? I can try to call in the order."

"I was already in town. My mother in law was having me over for the weekend since Emmett is out of town again."

"Let me see what I can do, alright? I'm gonna put you on hold for a minute." Bella ran down the hall towards the ultrasound room, thrilled to see the tech just dismissing a patient.

"Hey Bella, what's up?" the tall beauty said to her after handing off a series of sonogram pictures to a beaming woman.

"Heidi, I need a really big favor. I know you're overbooked today, but I've got a majorly important red chart that needs an emergency scan. Can I have her come in?"

"I don't know," she huffed. "I'm never going to get out of here as it is."

"I know, and I'm sorry for making it worse. Believe me though, Victoria will be insanely pissed if we don't jump for this one."

"Alright, fine," she sighed. "But she needs to get here as soon as possible."

"I don't think that is going to be a problem. Thank you so much." Bella spun on her heels and dashed back to her desk, already grabbing for the phone as she sat down. "Are you still there?"

"Of course!" Rosalie replied with a shaky breath.

"OK, I was able to work you in, but I need you to get here as soon as possible."

"I'll be there in ten minutes." The call suddenly went dead. She had already hung up.

Less than thirty minutes later, Rosalie Cullen was having a clear, warm gel applied to her abdomen by Heidi the ultrasound tech. She was joined by her mother in law Esme, who had refused to let her drive herself to the office, and strangely enough... Bella.

It was not customary for the nurses to be in the room with the patients during this procedure, usually it was just the tech and the family, but when Bella had attempted to excuse herself after taking her into the room, Rosalie had grabbed her hand. "Please don't go," she whispered. "Esme is just going to cry in a minute. Emmett is usually here to be strong for me, but he won't be able to get home for a few more hours."

"Uh... well... alright," Bella replied, unable to hide the completely baffled tone in her voice. "Just let me tell someone I'm going to be in here." She walked back to her phone and paged the front desk.

"_Reception_." a sharp voice barked on the other end.

"Jessica, it's Bella. You're going to have to shuffle some charts around up there. Victoria is going to be down a nurse for a while."

"_What?_" she snapped. "You've _got_ to be kidding me! We're swamped!"

"Well, deal with it," Bella shot back. "If Victoria has a problem with it, just remind her that I am helping a red chart at their request." She went to hang up but stopped the motion in mid-air, bringing the receiver back to her ear. "And if _you_ have a problem with it, you can just kiss my ass." _Click_.

She returned to the ultrasound room and stood next to the table that Rosalie was laying on, taking her hand when she held it out. She noticed that the elder Mrs. Cullen had already migrated to the back of the room and hunched over in a chair, repeating a quiet prayer to herself under her breath.

"OK, I'm going to start now," Heidi announced, dimming the lights slightly and sitting down in front of the machine. She fiddled with a few controls on the keyboard and held out the ultrasound wand, placing it in the middle of the gel on Rosalie's skin. They all held their breath as they watched her moving it around, turning it in different directions and stopping frequently to enter data into the computer. At one point she switched on the volume only to turn it back off again quickly, but she hadn't been able to hide the sound in time. There had been nothing but static.

And silence.

Stopping the machine, Heidi set down the wand beside it and handed Rosalie a towel to wipe off the messy gel. Once her hands were free again, she set them both gently on Rosalie's arm and looked at her with eyes full of sympathy.

"I'm so very sorry, Mrs. Cullen."

Esme immediately broke down into sobs, but Rosalie sat there quietly. Bella was worried that she might be in shock until she felt her squeeze her hand tightly. "That's OK," she whispered. "I'm quite used to being a failure at this."

"Don't say that," Bella scolded. "You have a genetic condition, Rosalie. That is _not_ your fault. You did everything perfectly this time... it's just so hard to predict what will happen. There are women who have this who only ever suffer one loss, and then there are those who lose seven or eight."

Their discussion was interrupted by another loud sob from Esme. Rosalie rolled her eyes and turned to look at her over her shoulder. "Mom... sweetie... why don't you go sit in the waiting room? I'll be out as soon as I find out what happens now, OK?"

"Alright," she choked out. Esme slowly walked to the door, stopping first to hug Rosalie and kiss her on the cheek. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart." She wiped her eyes with a tissue and went out the door.

Rosalie looked back at Bella. "I love her dearly, but I'm trying really hard to keep a tight rein on my own emotions; I can't handle her weeping like that right now. I know she only feels badly for me, but the harder she cries, the more I feel like I let her down again."

Visibly uncomfortable with the awkward conversation, Heidi excused herself to give them some privacy. "I'll let Victoria know," she said quietly to Bella on her way out into the hall.

Once they were finally alone, Bella jumped in. "I'm sure that Mrs. Cullen doesn't think you let her down."

"I've robbed her of _four_ grandchildren now, Bella! And each one gets farther along, giving us all false hope. It's just... _cruel_ to put her through."

"It's a cruel situation for anyone to have to go through, not just her."

Just then a gentle knock sounded at the door and Victoria stuck her head in. "Rosalie? May I come in?"

"Of course, Dr. Wylde. Thank you so much for sparing Bella right now; she's a great hand holder."

"She's the best we have," Victoria agreed, and the praise sounded so genuine that Bella couldn't help the pink stain on her cheeks. "Let me just start by saying that I'm so sorry this happened again."

"Well, we knew it was a risk from the beginning." Rosalie said, shrugging. The detached look on her face didn't reach her eyes; she was blinking back tears rapidly. "What do we do now? I've never known for certain this early, without anything coming out."

"Well, that's what I need to talk to you about," Victoria said, the tone in her voice leaving no doubt that it wasn't going to be pleasant information. "Usually we would remove it for you if you didn't want to wait it out, but I'm afraid that won't be an option for us now."

"Why is that? I was hoping to just get this whole debacle over with as soon as possible. The waiting for it to finish is the hardest part."

"The fetus is too large now, Rosalie. You've made it almost seventeen weeks... much farther than you have in the past. We can't remove it here when it is that large; it's against our policy to perform a D&C on anyone past their first trimester. There are some locations who might, in a life or death situation, but I cannot. I don't want to get into specifics, but it's a grisly procedure that I refuse to perform."

"No... no... I understand. I didn't realize it was that large already. I wouldn't want that done, either. But what does that leave, then?"

"We are going to have to admit you to the hospital. Once you are set up in the maternity ward, we will need to induce you. I'm sorry, but the only option is for you to deliver it stillborn."

"Oh God," Rosalie gasped.

"I know it sounds terrifying, but it is quite similar to what your body will do on its own, except now we can monitor and control everything. We have no idea how long you would have taken to expel the fetus yourself, and this actually has less impact on your body than a D&C."

"How long will it take?"

"I'm afraid that's hard to say. Some women are done within hours, while others have taken a day or two. However, I can promise you any painkillers you might need to get through the contractions."

"Jesus _Christ_!" Rosalie wailed, putting her face in her hands. "Fine," she huffed after collecting herself. "But I want to be so doped up that I don't even know what day it is. I don't particularly want to remember this."

"I'm sure we can work something out to make you comfortable. Why don't you go home and pack a bag. Grab a bite to eat if you think you can. I'll get the orders sent over to the hospital and when you are ready, just head over there and get checked in." Victoria looked at Bella. "Would you come with me for a minute?"

"Alright." She turned to Rosalie. "I'll be right back, OK? Why don't you finish getting cleaned up and dressed?" Bella followed Victoria into the hall, closing the door quietly behind her.

"I think it would be wise if you stayed with her today, at least until her husband is in town. Her mother in law is a wreck out there; I honestly don't know if either of them are fit to drive right now."

"That's fine, but what about—"

"Don't worry about the clinic, we'll manage. And I'll pay you for the rest of the day." Bella had to stop her eyes from bugging out; Victoria never liked to part with extra help _or_ money.

After grabbing an extra box of tissues and escorting the two desolate women outside, Bella took the keys from Esme and began to chauffeur them home in a sleek red BMW. They had all agreed that it would be a hell of a lot safer to leave Bella's shitty old truck in the lot rather than the expensive vehicle they had driven.

"How are you doing, Rosalie?" Bella asked over the loud sobs from Esme. "I mean, I know you aren't _good_, but do you need anything?"

"Honestly?" she replied, looking sideways at her from the passenger seat. "I'm just... pissed. Of course I'm sad and depressed and doing everything I can to keep from acting like _her_," she nodded towards the back seat, "but overall I'm just _pissed_. And I want a large chocolate fucking shake. I've been eating so healthy lately, and I want something horrible for me right now."

Bella turned into the closest drive through and ordered her the biggest shake they had, refusing to let her pay for it when she handed her money. "Put that away," she shoved at her hand. "This is probably the only nice thing I can do for you right now. Let me get you your fucking shake."

They drove for a few minutes in silence. Well, as much silence as could be had between one sobbing woman and another one making loud slurping noises from her drink. After Bella asked for another turn direction to their house, she spoke again to Rosalie.

"So, why pissed?"

"Because," she huffed after swallowing a large sip. "This is something I'm supposed to be able to do. It's one of the only natural, animal functions that we have left as humans. And even that is getting warped by all the women who refuse to breast feed. I am being denied a basic function, and I want to wring someone's neck for it.

I see so many women... so many young idiot girls... who spit out babies like it's nothing. They barely bother to get the father's names sometimes, but having a kid with him is just no big deal. And so many beautiful, precious children are neglected or left to be raised by resentful grandparents. Nothing pisses me off faster than seeing some dipshit preteen mother with five dirty kids by five different guys running around her unattended at the store, but I'm not allowed to have one. _One! _One baby that would be loved and nurtured by two parents who would adore it."

"I know what you mean," Bella nodded. "You wouldn't believe how much of that I see at the office. There are some girls who deserve frequent flier miles for the maternity ward. Every time they come back in, all I can think is, _Jesus, again?_"

"Exactly!" Rosalie took another long pull on her straw.

"Well... have you two ever thought of adoption?" Bella glanced in her direction before turning off the highway.

"We've talked about it. We had almost decided to start the process when we found out what was wrong with me. We thought for the longest time that I just couldn't get pregnant, so we looked into it. Then I had my first miscarriage. After that, we kept trying since I had actually conceived, but after a few more losses they did the blood work that found my disorder. Once they finally put a name on it and told us what we needed to do to try and fight it, it sort of took over our plans."

"That's understandable... but it still isn't a guarantee. You could have many more losses before the shots ever work. _If_ they work."

"I know," she sighed. "But I had to try. I couldn't live with myself if I felt I hadn't given something like this my all. I get very optimistic at the beginning, and then very bitter after each loss. Sometimes it even hurts to be around children for a while, and pregnant women make me want to cry."

Bella patted her shoulder, not knowing what else to say.

"Don't get me wrong," Rose continued. "After this is over I'm going to have to do a lot of soul searching to see if I can go through it again. Poor Emmett just gets destroyed each time, watching what it does to me. Every time I think about giving up, though, I remember that my grandmother lost three babies and had an infant who died a few hours after birth, only to go on to have my father and my uncle. If she had just given up, I'd never be here. That could be my child some day."

"You could always adopt now and try again later. I'm sure you wouldn't mind having two eventually, would you?"

"No, I'd _love_ two children," she gushed, her smile beaming.

"Well I have seen a lot of women who have struggled for years with infertility issues, only to have a baby with no complications the second they adopt. It's like having that child that they always wanted helps them to relax and get rid of all the stress they've bottled up for years. I knew a girl in high school who was adopted, and her brother was barely nine months younger than her because their parents had a little celebration after they brought her home. You never know... weird shit happens every day."

"Thank you, Bella. For just being here. I know that I'm coming off as some sort of baby obsessed moron right now."

"No you aren't. You've had some really horrible news today, and you have an even bleaker afternoon ahead of you. You're allowed to be emotional."

"It's just that... I don't want you to think that I can't be happy with what I have. If we never have any at all, we'll get through. I don't believe that only children make a family. My husband is my world, and his family have taken me in like another daughter from the first day I met them. My parents died when I was in college, and I have never felt alone."

Rosalie turned to face Esme in the back seat, reaching around the head rest to squeeze her hand. She smiled at her as she watched her wipe her eyes and blow her nose. "Even Weepy here," Rose chuckled. "She's only so upset because this is happening to her daughter again. She isn't half as upset about losing a grandchild as I am about not being able to give her one."

Esme smiled weakly at her and squeezed her hand in return. "I love you, sweetheart."

"I love you, too."

Bella pulled the car into the driveway of the largest house she had ever seen in the area. Parking in front of the main door, she was surprised when Esme invited her inside.

"Don't sit out here like the help, Bella. Come in and have a bite while Rosalie packs." She didn't leave much room for disagreement in her tone, so Bella turned off the car and followed the women inside. Once she had closed the door and looked at the large, opulent surroundings, she couldn't keep her mouth from dropping open.

"I know," Rose laughed. "I had the exact same look on my face the first time Emmett brought me home with him." She draped her coat over the back of the nearest chair and turned back to Bella. "Why don't you come upstairs with me? You can help me find what to take."

"Don't you two want anything to eat?" Esme called from the kitchen.

"We're going upstairs to pack first," she called back. "Maybe just a few finger snacks or something."

"Alright, I'll make up a plate."

Rosalie turned back to Bella before leading her up the stairs. "Don't worry, she's in her element now. Her brain functions much better once she can be physically doing something for someone."

She led Bella to a large room full of many different trophies and awards. "This used to be Emmett's old room," she explained when she caught Bella eying the different pieces of sports memorabilia. "Esme has offered to make him a trophy case downstairs, but he always groans about changing his room. Personally, I think it's because he likes to feel dirty like he snuck his girlfriend in the house after curfew."

"So he's not just stuck in the past, reliving old glory days on the field?" Bella laughed.

"No way! He's more of the 'Big Man on Campus' type for the bedroom only. And only when he gets around these damn trophies." Rose winked at her and they both started laughing.

After a few minutes they had grabbed a few essentials and tossed them in an overnight bag. Talking easily back and forth, they joined Esme in the kitchen for a snack of cheese and crackers. About twenty minutes later they were leaving for the hospital, and Bella had been having such a nice conversation that she never even noticed the large family portrait as they walked out the door.

Driving towards Forks Community Hospital, Bella tried to keep the lighter conversation going for as long as possible, hoping to avoid another crying jag. "That was a beautiful painting on the stairway, Mrs. Cullen. I don't usually pay much attention to art, but something about that one made me take another look."

"Oh thank you, dear. And please, call me Esme. My son actually painted that." The pride was unmistakable in her voice.

"I didn't know Emmett could paint, too!" Bella gasped, astonished at such talent coming from an amateur.

"No, not Emmett, his brother Edward."

"Oh... I guess I didn't realize you _had_ another son. I'm sorry, Esme."

"We don't exactly see him much," Rosalie explained. "A few weeks back was the first time any of us had seen him in years." Before Bella could ask any more questions about the unknown family member to keep Esme occupied, Rosalie's phone rang loudly to the tune of _Mr. Big Stuff_.

"Excuse me, it's Emmett." She hit the send button eagerly, and her one sided conversation was interrupted by brief pauses as her husband spoke in her ear. "Hi baby, where are you? … So that's only about an hour away, isn't it? Oh thank God! … Yeah, we're heading over to the hospital now, you might as well just have the shuttle take you there. … I know. … I know. … I'm not bad yet. … I won't. … I miss you, too. Love you, baby."

She ended the call just as Bella reached the hospital. Parking in the maternity lot, the three women walked inside and checked in at the front desk. Bella and Esme waited in the room as the staff prepared Rosalie, changing her into a gown and inserting an IV lock into her hand.

After a while the nurse returned and told them that she was going to be starting the inducement drug, as well as a very weak morphine drip. She assured Rosalie that if at any time her pain increased, she would up her morphine. Before long they could see that the drug was taking effect, causing her to slur her words slightly as she spoke to them. Her eyelids had also gotten very droopy, as if she could take a nap at any moment.

When Rosalie started flipping through TV channels out of boredom, it sparked a discussion about the most annoying reality shows that they had all seen. Esme voted for _Wife Swap_ as the worst, Bella voted for _Cheaters_, which she couldn't help but find ironic, and Rosalie once again named _16 and Pregnant_. Before they could finish their arguments for why each of theirs was the worst, a large man appeared at the door.

"Rose?"

"Emmett!"

The burliest man who Bella had ever seen bounded into the room and sat down next to Rosalie on the bed, scooping her up and squeezing her tightly in one swift movement. She pulled back to look at him, and as soon as their eyes made contact her tough facade finally crumbled.

Rosalie Cullen burst into tears.

"I'm so sorry baby," he chanted over and over as he rocked her against his chest. "I should have been here. You go through too much alone." He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head, treating her like the most precious gift anyone had ever received.

Something tugged at Bella deep inside when she watched them together, and she had to look away. As if sharing the same thought, she and Esme both quietly left the room, leaving the couple to their privacy.

"They'll be like that for a while, I'm afraid," Esme said softly. "He won't leave her side until she falls asleep, and maybe not even then." She looked wistfully at the door to the room. "Their love has always been such a powerful, tangible thing. From the moment they met they've been inseparable. She usually travels with him if he is going to be gone for very long, but they were both worried about the baby."

"It's nice to see a couple that is still so strong after so many years," Bella replied, still feeling something strange tugging at her when she thought of them. Her eyes were beginning to sting.

"My daughter is the same way with her husband. Must have been something they picked up at home," she blushed. After another moment she added sadly, "I only wish that my other son had been half as fortunate."

"I'm sorry. Did he divorce?"

"No... she died, sadly. But I'm not quite convinced that it was meant to be. He never looked at her the way that my other children look at their spouses." She met Bella's gaze to add weight to her next words. "The spark never made it to his eyes. Does that make sense?"

"Actually... yes it does. It makes perfect sense." The curious stinging behind her eyes intensified, causing her to blink rapidly.

"Oh dear, you must be exhausted!" Esme cooed. "Where was my head? It's been a long, emotional day for all of us. Let me take you back to your car so you can go home and rest."

The two of them traveled the distance in a comfortable silence, listening to the quiet music playing on the radio. They would have been perfectly at ease talking to each other, but they both seemed to know that the afternoon's events were a bit too heavy to speak about at the moment, and the time for idle chit chat had passed.

Esme pulled into the now empty lot and parked next to Bella's monstrous truck. "Goodness, is this beast yours?"

"That's right," Bella smiled.

"Well it certainly has character," Esme smiled in return.

"That's what I always thought. Thanks for the lift," she said, turning to exit the car.

"Bella..." she touched her shoulder gently. "Thank you so much for your help today. Rose seems very attached to you, and I'm beginning to see why." With that, she leaned forward and hugged her close. When Bella finally stepped out of the car, she called after her one last time. "I hope that you'll visit again sometime... under happier circumstances, that is."

Closing the door, Bella nodded and waved before climbing into her own truck. Esme waited until she had started the engine and drove off with a honk in the direction of the hospital.

Bella watched as the car disappeared from view, and once she was truly alone she dropped her head onto the steering wheel and sobbed.

She sobbed for Rosalie and the pain she was enduring. She sobbed for Esme and her sorrow for her family. She sobbed for Emmett and his grief.

But most of all, she sobbed for the love that she had witnessed in that room.

The annoying tugging that she had begun to feel had turned into a burning ache, deep inside her chest. She knew without a doubt that what she had with Jacob would never feel like that, no matter how much effort and time she put into it. She had thought she could be content with him, that their friendship could be enough to nurture a deeper connection, but she was most definitely wrong about that. He would never make her feel as if he were the other half of her soul.

Without thinking, Bella threw the truck in drive and skidded off down the street. She had no idea where she was going, only that she needed to go there _right now_. The tears were still flowing freely down her face, the images of Emmett holding Rosalie replaying themselves over and over in her mind.

When the truck had finally screeched to a halt, Bella was startled to find that she was in the back parking lot behind the dance studio, where the residents kept their cars. Weeping and sniffling, she jumped down from the cab and tore off across the alley, the open door beckoning her.

As her feet hit the steps she ran even harder, pounding loudly along the way. She felt pulled, as if by a giant magnet, and by the time she reached the top she was completely out of breath and nearly choking on her sobs. Before she knew it the key was turning in the lock and she was shoving the door open so hard that it slammed against the wall. Any other time she would have been embarrassed at making such a spectacle of herself, but at that precise moment only one thing mattered in her eyes.

_He was there._

Edward dropped his palette in shock when she barged in the door, and he had no idea what to think as she stood there regarding him with tears streaming down her face.

"My God, what happened?" he gasped. He barely had the chance to note that she was wearing burgundy scrubs instead of her usual workout clothes before she was across the room and in his arms. An unfamiliar urge to defend and protect rose up in him, and for a moment his vision went red at the thought of someone harming her. "Are you alright?"

She wouldn't speak, though. She could only bury her face in his neck and cry. Giant, wracking sobs that shook her entire body.

A sudden panic rose in him. "You have to tell me what happened," he said to the top of her head as he held her. "Hey... hey! Look at me!" He grabbed her by the chin and forced her swollen eyes to meet his. "Did he hurt you? _Tell me!_"

She shook her head quickly.

"Then what's wrong?" The blinding rage began to subside, replaced quickly with the need to hold her as closely as possible.

"Just... it's just... I need... I need you..." her words were getting caught between her gasps.

"You need me to what?"

"No... I just... _need_ you!" His goddess looked up at him with enormous brown eyes that were puffy and red, the wet lashes surrounding them sticking to her skin in dark points. She had never looked more beautiful to him. "Make it all go away! _Please!_"

Edward leaned down and lifted her in his arms, carrying her into the bedroom. He laid her down gently and followed after her, kissing her soft lips and tasting her tears. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him tightly, returning his kisses with a violent fervor. She would only let him go long enough for him to remove her clothing, and after each article was removed she would grasp onto him again, as if she were reassuring herself that he was still there.

Once he had worked his own jeans off he covered her completely, and when he slid himself into her welcoming heat they both cried out. He moved inside her slowly, worshiping her body with his own, and as each new tear fell he would kiss it away.

Many hours later, Edward awoke to a very dark room and a very warm body draped across his chest. It felt absolutely amazing, but he knew she would be angry if he let her sleep there through the night.

Rubbing her shoulder and kissing her lightly, he watched as she began to stir. "Hey beautiful... it's getting late. Don't you need to leave?" She stretched her limbs for a moment and looked up into his eyes. With a big yawn she repositioned herself, snuggling even tighter against him.

"No."

It was the sweetest word he had ever heard.

* * *

Alright, Please don't hate me for the angst and tears. I feel horrible for Rosalie, too, but it was always going to happen from the beginning. That was actually the one thing I was dreading writing, but I had to do it for myself for my own reasons. Now, please let me know what you thought of it, and of the tender moment for our two lovers at the end.

Also, I just wanted everyone to know that I am auctioning off an outtake of this story on the Fandom Gives Back site this week. There is a team formed to raise enough money to buy it in one bid rather than trying to outbid each other, so if you are interested in joining, the link for that information is on my author page. I'm also selling a winner's choice original oneshot. Hope to hear from some of you!


	12. Metaly of Unfinished Songs

I just wanted to take a moment and thank everyone so much who joined Team Strangerward. I know it was a last minute thing, but together we managed to raise almost $400 for such a lovely cause. I am truly blown away. I had no idea there would be that big of a response. I honestly was only going to offer up a oneshot. The outtake was an afterthought. Apparently you h00rs really like your Strangerward! (Can't say I blame you, I love him too!) Now I am anxiously awaiting what naughty things you will all vote on for the outtake. It will most likely be posted for the rest of you readers at the end, after the story is complete. I'm not positive yet, but I will keep you updated.

Also, I forgot to say this last time, but I have had many readers asking me about this in a panic as they have started to look into the original film this fic was inspired by. NO, THIS WILL NOT END THE SAME WAY AS THE FILM.

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns it all. And she's greedy. I've asked for Edward repeatedly, but no go. :-( **

* * *

_Let me down easy, I never said I had to be your girlfriend_

_I just wanna get close to you and deliver my insecurities in person_

_It's the middle of the night and we are lyin in your bed naked_

_I'm tryin not to cry while you keep your heart protected_

_And so do I_

"_Metaly of Unfinished Songs" ~ Uni and Her Ukelele_

x

xx

xxx

Bella woke before dawn, immediately feeling the deep ache in her muscles. As she moved and stretched, each sore spot brought back another vivid memory of the night before. Thinking back through the foggy, sleepy memories, she couldn't believe how many times her beautiful stranger had been there for her.

She hadn't been able to sleep for longer than an hour or two at a time. It wasn't that she hadn't been surprisingly comfortable next to him on the mattress, but for some reason she kept waking up in a panic and reaching for him in the dark. His body was so in tune with hers it was almost scary; every time her hand would land on his warm, toned flesh, he would pull her to him and love her all over again until she was knocked out from sheer exhaustion.

The last time, he had been facing away from her on his side and she had simply rolled over and hugged him, pressing herself against his back to feel his smooth skin on her breasts, having every intention of drifting back to sleep. However, as soon as his body had recognized her presence he had rolled back over and grabbed her, lifting her up and placing her in his lap, directly over his hard cock. When she had looked down at him she was amazed to see that he was barely awake, yet it didn't stop him from moving inside her and dragging her with him to a drowsy but passionate finish.

Now, completely sated and sprawled across his torso, she laid there for a few minutes and enjoyed the steady rhythm of his heartbeat and the rise and fall of his chest as he slept. Glancing down, she stifled a gasp, unable to believe that he was actually hard again. She knew that guys often got 'morning wood', but didn't having mind-blowing sex four times overnight sort of negate that?

Looking at the long, smooth shaft that was currently curved back towards his stomach, Bella whimpered to herself, wanting so badly to crawl on top of him again. However, she could already feel the soreness growing between her legs; she knew that she was going to have trouble walking as it was.

_Still... it would be a shame to let that go to waste._

Moving slowly so as not to wake him, Bella slipped away and repositioned herself between his legs. She watched his features closely, looking for any sign of his stirring, before leaning forward and dragging the tip of her tongue all the way up the underside of his erection. She started at the base and finished at the tip, flicking the bottom of her tongue a few times against his frenulum before looking up at his sleeping face.

He moaned softly, his brow furrowing in confusion, but his eyes were still closed. She repeated her actions, going even slower, and this time she swirled her tongue around the broad tip as she finished. He grunted a little louder, and she watched as his cock twitched in response, yet it still wasn't enough contact to wake him. One more time she licked him, but when she reached the top she slipped her plump lips around him and sucked him deep inside her mouth.

"Ungh..." he groaned, slowly coming to. Edward opened his eyes just in time to see his goddess looking up at him, a wicked gleam in her eye as she bobbed her head up and down his length.

"_Fuck_!" He tried to keep his eyes from crossing, instantly feeling an overdose of sensation. Her mouth was so warm... her tongue so slick... he could feel every stroke as it swirled around him. "God... _baby_..." he gasped, locking eyes with her again.

Their gaze never broke as she moved on him, sucking him to the back of her throat and sliding back up again. When she saw him finally bite his bottom lip and close his eyes from the pleasure, it looked so erotic that Bella couldn't keep from moaning loudly around him, which sent a wave of vibrations down his length.

Edward's eyes flew open. "_Christ_!" He sat up until he could brace himself on his elbows, allowing him a much better view of her lovely wake up call. The room was still fairly dark, but Edward watched her so intently that his eyes quickly adjusted to the light. "You look so goddamn sexy doing that." She met his eyes again and winked before setting up a steady pace, and the action was so arousing to him that he felt himself grow impossibly harder in her mouth.

Bella took her time and enjoyed herself, running her hands up the insides of his thighs lightly, causing him to jerk and twitch. When she reached the juncture of his legs, she cupped and stroked his balls until they tightened in response, which earned her another loud groan for her efforts. Feeling absolutely drunk with power, she pulled her mouth away slowly. Ignoring his whimper, she leaned down and swirled her tongue around them, gradually sucking first one and then the other in her mouth.

"Oh my god..." Edward panted, rolling his head back on his shoulders before looking at her again.

Bella devoured every inch of his sensitive flesh, licking her way back up to his broad tip and sliding her lips around him once more, eagerly bobbing up and down. She couldn't believe that she was completely aroused again, her swollen folds slick with excitement from the sounds he was making.

After a few more strokes with her mouth, Bella felt his hands tugging at her jaw, signaling her to stop.

"What's wrong?" she whispered, worried that she had somehow hurt him in her haste.

"Absolutely _nothing_," he groaned.

"Then why did you stop me?"

"I... I was wondering... Do you remember what we did together a few days ago?" Bella stared at him blankly, her mind wandering over all of the amazing things they had done together recently. "What you asked me to do?"

"Oh!" Bella blushed, instantly flashing back to their steamy interlude with a stick of butter. "Um... what about it?"

"Well, I've heard it's supposed to be just as good for a man." He looked at her pointedly before smiling. "Sometimes even better."

"Have you ever?" Her cheeks were blazing now, but the thought of sharing something new with him was too intriguing to ignore.

"No. I've never..." he took a deep breath before continuing. "I've never trusted anyone enough to try it."

"Well," Bella thought to herself for a moment. He was telling her that he trusted her, above anyone else that he'd ever been with; there was no way that she was going to pass it up. "I can try. I don't want to hurt you, though. Is there any way I can make it... go easier? I think you're all out of butter," she said with a smirk.

"Are you wet for me right now?" he whispered.

"_God_ yes."

He looked her straight in the eye. "Then you have everything you need."

_Fuck, he's hot._

She took him in her mouth again, building him back up to a frenzy. As she worked him faster and faster and his moans grew more uncontrolled, she slid her hand down between her legs and touched herself. She was absolutely soaked.

Swirling her fingers around enough to collect a decent amount of moisture, she brought her dripping fingertips back up between his legs. Moving very slowly, she slid two of them down to his rear entrance and made small circular motions, spreading her juices around the delicate skin. She heard his breathing hitch and felt him tense up involuntarily, but as she continued the slow movements he began to relax around her.

When she could tell that he was once again at ease, Bella started to apply more pressure with her middle finger, gently moving forward enough so that she was able to slip inside a tiny bit. He stilled his movements and held his breath; it was so quiet that she could have heard a pin drop. Hoping to distract him from any worries he might be having, she applied more pressure with her lips and tongue until he was moaning again.

Taking that as her cue, she pushed her finger deeper inside, feeling him opening to her slowly. This time, she didn't stop until it was all the way in.

"Fuck!" he gasped. It felt full... and tight... and the pressure was... good. _So good._ He was completely lost in sensation by that point, feeling her delicious mouth swallowing him whole while she massaged him gently from the inside. It was one of the most intense feelings he'd ever felt in his life, and when she started sliding her finger in and out, he knew that he was gone.

"Oh... oh _fuck_... baby... baby look at me!" His words were interrupted by rapid panting and the sharp thrust of his hips.

The moment her beautiful eyes made contact with his, Edward cried out loudly, exploding in a violent torrent of fluid that sent hot spurts down her throat. Unable to keep his eyes on her like he wanted, he squeezed them shut and threw his head back, drowning in the powerful waves of his release. Bella sucked him even harder as he rode it out, refusing to stop until his shaking had abated and he began to twitch from being too sensitive.

When he finally looked finished, Bella gently removed her finger and the death grip of her mouth. Watching him closely for the verdict on how she had done, she was thrilled when he lifted his head again and had a fiery look in his eye.

"Get the fuck up here. _Now,_" he growled.

Before she could scramble up his body, she felt his hands gripping her sides and lifting her, pulling her all the way up until she was perched over his face. He looked up at her long enough to grunt something that sounded like "_So fucking good_" before pulling her down on him, directly over his mouth. He used everything he had to stroke her swollen folds: his tongue, his lips, his nose, even his chin. Pulling her down against him, he devoured her, lapping up all of her juices until she was bucking wildly, grinding herself into his face.

When her own release hit her, it was enough to make her shake so hard that she fell over, crumpling in a heap next to him. He pulled her to his side, holding her tightly and kissing her with all of the passion that he could no longer deny. She kissed him back hungrily, only stopping when she was too exhausted to continue.

They collapsed together again, Bella resuming her favorite post on his chest. As they both tried to catch their breath, she peppered his warm skin with light kisses while he stroked her bare back.

Bella looked up at him, gasping. "_God_... that was..."

"Un-_fucking_-believable," Edward groaned.

_Exactly._

After a few minutes of recuperation, Bella rested her chin on her hands and smiled shyly up at him again. She never wanted to leave the warmth of his arms, and she was doing her best not to dwell on how scary that thought was to her.

"What's that blush for?" he teased. "I can't imagine, after the night we just had, that you have _anything_ left to be embarrassed about."

"I'm not embarrassed. It's just that... this is nice, being here like this. I don't have much experience with cuddling."

Sadly, it was true. Bella had never been one for the overnight adventure, much more comfortable with her own bed when she woke up. Most of the losers she'd dated in college were more than happy to end the night with a bang, and none of them were ever invited to stay over in her own bed. Whether that was because they were already out the door before she could ask is hard to say; she liked to think that it was her choice. Even Jake, on the rare occasions that they had ever found enough privacy to have sex, never slept over... or held her this closely when it was done.

"I don't either, really," he smiled back. "But I'm starting to see what all the hype is about. This is _definitely_ something I could get used to." He wiggled his eyebrows lecherously, making her giggle like an idiot.

The morning light was starting to creep into the room, landing on the tips of his hair and making them glow the most amazing shade of flaming gold. Bella looked into his sparkling eyes, trying to ignore the violent pounding that it caused in her chest. There were times that his beauty alone could take her breath away, but combining that with the warmth of his skin wrapped around her and she was ready to drift away into oblivion.

After a long stretch of silence had settled over the room, he spoke again. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"Whatever had you so upset last night?" There was a genuine look of concern on his face, and it actually made her heart ache. _If only I _could_ tell you._

"I thought you didn't want to know specifics," she questioned.

"Well..." he ran his hands through his glowing hair for a moment as he thought. "I am simply pushing for anonymity. The only time people are truly honest about themselves is when it's anonymous."

"But how can I be honest about anything without giving things away?"

"I just don't want to know who you are _supposed_ to be to the outside world. I want to know who you truly are _here_. That's all that matters to me." _Because here... you are mine._ "I never said that you couldn't tell me a few incidentals along the way. For example, I noticed you were wearing scrubs last night. That leaves me to assume that you work in some sort of medical office. I don't know if you are a nurse or a file clerk, but I don't really think that's giving too much away now, is it? I mean, you know what _I_ do and still don't know _my_ name."

"I never knew if that was your career or your hobby," Bella defended. "I just knew that you were unbelievably talented. And I'm a nurse, by the way."

"Thank you," he smiled. She wasn't quite sure if he was thanking her for her compliment or the added information. "Now," he grew serious again, "something upset you so badly last night that you brought it here, to _us_. I think that should concern me. Just be honest and tell me what you can."

"OK." She took a deep breath, thinking of how she wanted to proceed. "Well... let me just say that yesterday some very sweet people I know went through something _horrible_. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I was there when they got the news and I had to witness their hearts breaking into thousands of tiny pieces." She glanced back up at him to make sure he was following her. He nodded in encouragement and began to stroke her hair gently, and as she looked at him she could see his eyes soften in understanding. "The only thing they have to get them through this right now is their unbelievable love for each other."

"That does sound upsetting," he said quietly, still stroking her hair. It felt like warm silk threads under his fingers. "What made you come here?" _What made you come to _me_?_

_Because I realized that I'm falling in love with you. _

"Um... I didn't really think about it at the time; it just... happened. Like so many other things with us. I just sort of drove and ended up here. I needed you to hold me."

"You can always come to me," he smiled, kissing her forehead. "I will hold you all night long if that's what you need."

Edward pulled her even closer, touched more by her words than he cared to admit. He didn't recognize the warm feeling that was flowing rapidly through his veins, but he knew that he didn't want it to stop. He had a feeling that she was still holding something back that she wanted to say, but he wasn't about to push her more than he already had. She would tell him eventually if it mattered enough.

"You did a whole lot more than just hold me last night, mister," Bella laughed into his neck before planting a few light kisses there.

"Only because that was what you needed. You asked me to make it go away, so I did. Don't get me wrong, I'm still reeling from how amazing last night was, but if you had told me just to hold you, I would have."

Trying to lighten the mood, Bella laughed. "I'm not sure we could be so chaste together. I probably would have jumped you five minutes after we laid down."

"Hey," he pulled her chin up, forcing her to meet his eyes. "I'm dead serious. You can _always_ come to me."

"But for how long?" she whispered.

"What do you mean?" Edward was puzzled by the instant look of sadness that took over her features.

"How long is always? Are you planning on staying here permanently? For as much time as you spend here, you don't really seem to _live_ here. I've always had the impression that this was a 'fun while it lasts' thing for you, that you could pack up and leave at any moment. Was I wrong?"

_Please say I was wrong. Tell me you love me and want me forever. Tell me that if you left tomorrow you would take me with you. _

"Well..." Edward had absolutely no idea what to say. He had never felt so put on the spot in his life. Why did she care when he left if she was getting married to that neanderthal? Wasn't this just one last fling for her?

He took a deep breath before answering her. "You can come to me for as long as I am here, but as for how long that will be... I don't know yet."

"That's what I figured," Bella sighed.

"Hey, that's no reason not to still come to me _now_. I don't have any immediate plans for leaving, there is still so much for us to share together. It could be months yet." Panic filled him at the thought of never seeing her again. He couldn't leave her just yet, that much he knew, but he was no fool. He knew that he was already too attached to her as it was; once she had finally gotten married he would have to go.

As much as he enjoyed her company, he didn't want to destroy her life.

_She's just a young girl having a sexual awakening. She's loving the thrill of it right now, but she will never want to leave everything she knows behind. If she did, she would hate me the second she realized that she gave up love for a good fuck. _

Edward tucked her head back down into the crook of his neck, kissing the top of her hair quickly. "We can just have as much fun together as time will allow, and when all is said and done we will have these unbelievable memories to cherish. How does that sound?" He was trying his best to sound positive, but the thought of leaving her ripped him apart inside, and for some strange reason his eyes were stinging.

"OK... yeah," Bella whispered. "That sounds good." She was thankful that he had hugged her closer when he did, that way he couldn't see as she blinked away the tears that were welling up in her eyes.

They laid together like that for a few minutes in total silence, each one hurting with need for the other one and too scared to say a damn word about it. Suddenly Edward's phone chirped in the other room, breaking the melancholy feeling that had settled over them both.

"I should grab that," he sighed, hating the coldness he felt the moment he let her out of his arms. "If someone's calling this early it might be important."

"Of course," Bella smiled at him. As soon as he left the room she sat up and wiped her eyes violently, cursing herself for her stupidity. _Forget it. Just forget it all. Have your fun and move along, idiot. You can't keep him. _

In the front room, Edward was surprised to see his mother's cell number on his display. "Hello?"

"Edward? Dear, are you awake?" Esme's voice sounded thick and raw, as if she had been crying all night.

"Mom, is something wrong? Is someone hurt?" He wasn't used to getting calls from his mother very often over the last few years, and hearing her sound so obviously upset had him instantly on alert.

"I'm sorry to bother you so early, sweetheart. I just thought you should know that Rosalie lost her baby late last night. She's finally resting now, but I think your brother is more than a bit broken up over it."

"Oh... I'm so sorry to hear that." He had known Rosalie since he was a teenager, and even though they'd never had the chance to get really close, she had always been sweet to him.

"Usually when this happens, Jasper is here for him to sort of lean on for emotional support, but he took your sister out of town for a long Valentine's weekend."

"Where is he?"

"We're all still here at the hospital. They are going to keep her here until tomorrow for observation."

"I'll be there in twenty minutes."

"Thank you. And Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"You're a good brother."

"Uh... thanks." _Click_.

He didn't want to dwell on what she'd just said for too long; he knew it wasn't true. If it were true, he would have been there for him before now. If it were true, this wouldn't be the first he'd ever heard about them having multiple losses. Hell, he barely even remembered that she had been pregnant.

Bella couldn't help listening from the bedroom as she tried to find all of her clothes, but only hearing half of the conversation was more frustrating than not hearing any of it at all. Although she _was_ surprised to hear that he actually had a mother, a real, flesh and bone mother. Until then she could have just as easily believed that he had sprung full grown from the head of Adonis.

When he returned he had a somber look on his face. "I'm sorry, but I have to go. There's a bit of a... family situation."

"That's alright," she returned, pulling her shirt on over her head. "I really need to grab a shower and a change of clothes before work. I wasn't paying attention to the time." When she saw how stricken he looked she went to him and hugged him tightly. "I hope that it's nothing too serious."

"Well, the worst is done, but thank you. I'm just going to see if I can be of any help." He leaned down and kissed her softly one last time. As he pulled away he couldn't help raking his eyes down her body, appreciating the uniform she was wearing once again. "It's too bad we were interrupted," he leered. "I would have enjoyed playing doctor."

"Really?" she said, astonished. "The scrubs do something for you?"

"Hell yes," he chuckled. "Now all I can think about is having you be my naughty nurse and give me a sponge bath."

"OK... wow. I'm gonna get the hell out of here before I take you up on that and we're _both_ late." She pulled out of his arms and walked to the door. Before closing it behind her on her way out she turned and called to him. "Hey, Stranger?"

"Yes, beautiful?"

"Next time... you bring the sponge and the bubble bath, I'll bring the scrubs."

His eyes began to smolder again. "Oh, it's a fucking _date_."

With that his beautiful goddess smiled and closed the door.

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Alright, thoughts? I know this was one of the shortest chapters yet, but I really wanted it to end there, rather than making it twice as long with the events coming up and taking twice as long to update.

Also, I don't know how many of you pay attention to the playlists, but I do always update the chapter songs after every post. The one for this chapter is by one of my favorite indie musicians who a lot of people haven't heard of. She's fun and quirky and plays a uke, and she has got a beautiful voice. She's also one of the sweetest people I've ever talked to, always happy to hear from her fans on twitter. This song that I chose has been in my mind for this scene since I first thought of the story. It's a long compilation of four unfinished songs, but each one makes my heart break a little bit. If you are interested, do yourself a favor and check it out, but make sure you let it play to the end for the full effect.

Speaking of twitter, don't forget to follow me awesomesauce416 for update alerts and teasers!


	13. Stellar

Wow, I can't believe the response I'm getting with each new chapter! Thank you so much for reading! Just a word of warning for you smut fiends out there, this one is a tame chapter. We get to see more of Strangerward with his family. Don't worry, things will pick back up again very soon! (Also, I'd like you to note that I'm getting this out in less than a week!) They can't ALL be lemons!

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns it all. If I did, I would have a shitload of money and free time to sit at home and perv on Edward!**

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_Meet me in outer space_

_I will hold you close if you're afraid of heights_

_I need you to see this place_

_It might be the only way that I can show you how_

_It feels to be inside of you_

"_Stellar" ~ Incubus_

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Edward arrived at the hospital fifteen minutes later to find his mother standing outside the room speaking quietly on her cell phone. Her eyes lit up when she saw him and she held up a finger, letting him know that she was almost done. He could see the dark circles under her eyes and hear the waver in her voice as she spoke, and it gave him a fairly good idea just how long the night had been for her.

"Darling, I've got to go, your brother just arrived." She listened for another moment. "Yes, sweetheart, I will. Give my love to Jasper. Let him know that we're all going to be alright; there's no need for him to drag you back here and cut your trip short."

She said her goodbyes and ended the call, turning her full attention on Edward as he closed the distance between them and pulled her into a tight hug. Neither one of them said anything for almost a minute as he held her, slowly rocking back and forth.

Esme broke the silence first, mumbling into his shirt. "Thank you so much for coming. I know it's terribly early."

"Shh..." he scolded, patting her back lightly. "Don't be silly. I would have come in the middle of the night if you had called me." While Edward would have hated to cut his amazing night with his goddess short, he knew that he was telling his mother the truth.

"Well, there was nothing you could have done at that point," she said, pulling back to wipe away the beginning of tears from her eyes. "I think Emmett will be the one who needs you now, and he was too busy sitting with Rose all night. He wouldn't have even known you were here."

"What can I do?"

"Just be there for him, dear. She's finally asleep; see if you can get him out of this damn hospital room for a while, even if it's just the cafeteria. He won't let himself relax while he's with her like this, always on alert." She sighed loudly, running her fingers through her hair in a gesture that was all too familiar to him. "Talk to him. Listen to him. Don't think that you need to cheer him up or make him laugh, that will just piss him off. If he wants to be distracted, he'll let you know."

Edward hadn't really _been there_ for anyone in so long that he felt completely out of sorts, but he knew that he owed it to his family to give it a try. "Alright. Is he inside?"

"Of course. He hasn't left her side since he got here. He's been napping lightly for the last few hours since they gave Rose something to help her sleep, but that's the most I could get him to do. Let's go see if he's awake yet."

They walked quietly into the large private room. Once Edward's eyes adjusted to the darker lighting, he could see his brother sleeping on a couch in the corner and his sister-in-law resting in the large bed, hooked up to a few different machines. Her face looked sweaty and her always-perfect hair was matted to her head, but something about her appearance touched Edward deeply in that instant. For the first time since he'd met her, Rosalie's guard was down. Unable to hide behind her make up and clothes, he could see how vulnerable and fragile she could be. Strangely, she had never looked stronger to him, either... or more lovely.

As if she somehow sensed his presence in the room, her eyes fluttered open. When her hazy gaze met his, the tiniest smile touched her lips. "Hey kid," she whispered.

"Hey yourself," he smiled back. It was the same greeting they had exchanged since he'd been sixteen years old.

Rosalie slowly raised a hand with IV tubes sticking out of it and held it out to him, motioning with her fingers for him to come closer. When he was at her side, Edward gently took those same fingers in his hand and squeezed before leaning over and kissing the backs of them, barely avoiding the looped tube that was taped in place.

"Such pleasantries," she teased.

"But of course. I'm ever the gallant gentleman." His smile faded as he looked at her. "I'm so sorry, Rose. This whole situation is just bullshit."

"Tell me about it," she rasped back.

"Are you going to be OK?"

"Of course I will," she waved him off before glancing away. "Eventually." She met his eyes again. "I'm sort of used to it, you know? It's a shit thing to have to get used to, but it is what it is." Her voice dropped even lower as she angled her head towards the couch. "I'm more worried about him, though."

Edward looked over at his brother, curled up in a ridiculous ball on what looked to be the world's most uncomfortable couch. "Taking it pretty hard?"

"You'd never know by talking to him, but I can see it in his eyes. Plus he's always so damn worried about me that he never lets himself grieve properly."

"Well that's why I'm here, actually. I was going to try to drag his lazy ass out of here for a bit while you rested."

"Oh, that would be wonderful!" Her sleepy eyes lit up more than he thought possible in her medicated state. "Get him the hell out of here. And don't let him stay in the building, either. He needs a little fresh air."

"Alright, Rose. Get some rest." Edward smiled back at her and patted her hand before finally letting it go. He crossed the room quietly until he was standing in front of Emmett's balled up form. After regarding his sleeping face for a minute he lifted his foot and gently kicked at his shoe, which was sticking out over the arm of the couch. "Hey." He continued tapping. "Hey, Sleeping Beauty... get the fuck up."

"Fuck you," Emmett mumbled, batting at the air before trying to roll over. When he realized that he couldn't move away from whatever the hell was annoying him because the couch was too damn small, he finally opened his eyes and looked around. Groaning, his gaze settled on Edward. "What the? Is Rose OK?" He sat straight up, his tone instantly panicked.

"Hey, calm down. She's fine. See, she's—" When he turned to allow Emmett a view of her, he was surprised to find that she was already fast asleep. "Sleeping."

"Thank God," Emmett sighed, leaning over and rubbing his face with his large hands. "She was up all damn night." When he looked up to meet Edward's eyes again, it was with a look of suspicion. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

"I've come to kidnap you."

"That's what I was afraid of," he sighed again. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Oh come on, stop being a douche. You can't do anything for her while she's sleeping, and Mom is tired of not being able to sit on the couch. Let's go get something to eat, I haven't had breakfast yet."

"But who will sit with Rose? What if she wakes up and I'm not here?" The worry in his voice was unmistakable.

"Mom's still here. Let's go and let them have some girl time. If anything major happens she can call us, OK?"

The battle of emotions that played across Emmett's face was almost heartbreaking to watch. "Yeah... I suppose I can run downstairs for a bite to eat."

"Nothing doing, Em. I'm not eating the nasty shit they try to pass for food here. I was thinking we could maybe go to the diner; I haven't had their pancakes in years. What do you say? My treat."

He looked at Rosalie one more time before Esme's voice rang out in the room. "Emmett, go with your brother. I want to sit and read my book in peace."

Remembering his mother's presence for the first time, Emmett nodded sheepishly and stood up, stopping to stretch and twist, which sent a loud round of pops and cracks echoing through the room. "Alright," he groaned, "you guys win." Grabbing his jacket and throwing it on, Emmett crossed the room and hugged Esme, kissing her cheek as he pulled away. "Thanks for sitting with her. Do you want us to bring you anything back?"

"No, your father is going to bring me something when he goes on break in a little while. We're going to eat together. Thank you for asking, though." She reached up and patted his cheek, doing her best to hide her sadness when she felt the coarse stubble that had grown in overnight and saw how strained his features were.

"Alright, we'll be back soon. Call me if anything happens, OK?"

"I will, darling, but you really need to relax. They are only keeping her for observation now, Emmett. The worst is over."

"I know, it's just... hard to leave her." He looked over at Rosalie one last time before turning and leaving the room. Edward kissed his mother goodbye as well, and when he glanced at Rosalie he could have sworn that he saw her close her eyes again quickly, as if she had been peeking under her lashes when Emmett left the room. _The little faker!_

"What's so funny?" Emmett asked as they walked outside, wondering why Edward was chuckling to himself.

"Oh, nothing," he covered. "My mind's just wandering. Here, my car's over this way." He led him across the lot to the Volvo, and once they were both buckled in he drove off to the local diner on the other side of town.

Grabbing a booth in the corner, they smiled politely to the young waitress who brought them their menus, who also couldn't seem to stop ogling the both of them as if she couldn't decide which one was hotter. Once they'd gotten her to stop drooling long enough to take their order, they settled in over coffee to have a nice talk.

"Sweet kid," Emmett said, watching her walk away. "But _way_ too young. She's gonna be trouble for her old man, acting like that."

"Oh, don't act like waitresses of all ages don't fall all over you, Mr. Football," Edward teased.

"Hey, I haven't played in years," he blushed. "But sometimes... Rose _does_ get a little jealous. I keep telling her that now she knows how it feels, because anywhere we go every man's eyes are glued on her."

"Aw, the trials of a gorgeous couple. My heart goes out to you."

"Oh, you're one to talk, Mr. Tortured Artist! I used to think you spent hours in the mirror trying to perfect that brooding pout of yours. Something must have worked though, because Tanya certainly wasn't hard on the eyes." He looked up suddenly, realizing what he had just said. "Hey man, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."

"Really, don't worry about it," Edward waved him off.

"No, that was a shit thing to bring up right now. How are you managing these days? It's only been a couple weeks."

"I'm... coping," Edward replied quietly. "Besides, we're not here to talk about me. We're here to get you out of that damn hospital for a while and pig out on the best pancakes in town."

"We're doing that already," Emmett smiled, nodding towards the young waitress as she delivered two heaping stacks of buttermilk pancakes to their table. Sighing wistfully, she looked back and forth between each of them and the warm syrup on the table before walking away. "Man, I don't _even_ want to know what she's thinking."

"Yeah, me either," Edward laughed, pouring the syrup in question over his breakfast.

"Anyway, as I was saying, you've done your job. I'm out and eating something. We're having a nice talk and you are distracting me."

"Are you sure that being distracted is what you really want right now?" Edward asked quietly. "You can talk to me about anything, you know."

"If memory serves, I said the very same thing to you a few weeks ago. I think if anyone should be more ready to talk, it should be you." He looked pointedly at Edward, calling him out for never confiding in him. "I'll come around soon, I always do, but you're the one who needs to realize that the world isn't going to end if you admit that you aren't always perfect."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Edward snapped defensively.

"It means that I've never known anyone so worried about making a good show of things, setting the scene just right. It's OK to admit that you're upset about something, or pissed off even. Nobody should seem so level-headed after just burying their wife."

"I don't like people to know my business very often." _Especially if it means they might hate me when they do._

"Know your business? Edward, I don't even know _you_. Not anymore." Emmett sighed and took another sip of his coffee. "I'm trying to get to know my brother again. I think if anyone has a right to ask you about some of your _business_, it's me."

Edward finished chewing his bite and put down his fork. "Alright, what do you want to know? And before you start, just know that I'm not totally ready to talk about everything yet, so don't be offended if I pass on something."

"I understand. I won't dig too deep today, don't worry." Emmett cracked his knuckles and sat up straighter, his enthusiasm coming off him in waves. "You say that you are _coping_ right now, but how? I couldn't even imagine being able to function if I lost Rose. I mean... I know Tanya must not have been in the best mental state there at the end, but still... how on earth are you handling it?"

"Believe me, Emmett, _not in the best mental state_ is a fucking understatement. If I seem cold about it, I don't mean to, but I can't help it." He took a big drink from his coffee before continuing, forcing himself to divulge at least a few things with his brother. "I know I don't seem very upset about her death. In all honesty, I'm _very_ torn up about her suicide; I wish she hadn't gone out like that. However, I'm not gonna lie and say that I miss her in my life."

Edward waited for a moment for Emmett to process what he had just told him. "But... I thought you two were like... totally in love?"

"No. Not at all."

"_What_? I thought you guys were so far up each other's asses that nobody else mattered to you."

"Then you believed the lie," Edward frowned. "What we had was sort of... an understanding. And it worked out for both of us at first, but things got very bad between us at the end."

"Dude, don't get pissed at me for asking this, but are you gay?"

"What? No!" Edward's head snapped up and looked around, embarrassed at his loud outburst.

"You can tell me if you are, I swear I don't give a shit."

"No, Emmett! What the hell made you think that?"

"Well... 'an _understanding_'? It sounded like you were describing some weird ass beard arrangement."

"No, no," Edward laughed, forking another bite of food into his mouth. "There just wasn't any love between us. It was purely physical to begin with, and that sort of morphed into a warped friendship. I had problems that I'm not proud of at all, and then she had even worse problems after that. We were just toxic together and not doing each other any good."

"Why didn't you guys get a divorce when you realized it was that bad?"

"I don't know," Edward whispered. "Neither one of us wanted to be a failure at anything, I guess. We tried to stick it out. I finally got fed up at the end, though. When she flat out refused to get any help I just couldn't stand by and watch her destroy herself anymore."

"So you left?"

"Yeah. We were in New York for a gallery opening. I was hoping that since we were back in the country, my leaving might force her to seek out her family and finally get help." Edward looked up from his coffee into his brother's caring blue eyes. "I underestimated how much she didn't want to be helped... or divorced."

Emmett shook his head, trying to make sense of everything he was learning. "So rather than let you leave, she killed herself?"

"To put it bluntly, yes."

"That's really fucked up."

"I know. There was more to it than that, of course. It didn't help that she was completely strung out when she did it."

"What happened, if you don't mind my asking? All Mom said was that she killed herself."

"I'd been away from her for about a week or two. I moved all my shit into another hotel while she was out partying and left her a letter and some money for a ticket back to Alaska. When I didn't hear from her right away, I thought it was a good thing. Next thing I know, I'm getting a call from the owner of some shithole motel downtown. She didn't leave a note, but all of my contact information was out for someone to find. The asshole owner didn't want any mix up with the cops, so I had to come down there to the room and meet with them myself."

"Wait... so you were actually there? You didn't just have to see her in the morgue?"

"No, he called me before he even tried the cops. He wasn't about to wait around for them if he knew I was going to be there to handle it all. I have no idea how long she was in there. The cleaning lady found her, she told the manager, and the manager called the owner. It wasn't the most timely of events." Edward took a deep breath before continuing. "She slit her wrists in the bathtub. It was horrible. There was drug paraphernalia all over the room. Apparently she had taken all the cash I'd left her and blown it on that cheap-ass room and all the heroin she could get her hands on."

"Jesus Christ!" Emmett gasped. "This is so fucked."

"Oh, I know. I'm the one who had ungodly nightmares every time he closed his eyes. I know just how fucked it is."

"But... _Tanya? _I never would have guessed her to be capable of something like that."

"Me either."

After a few moments of silence, Emmett pushed further. "Do Mom and Dad know?"

"Absolutely not. I'm not sure I want them to know."

"Edward." He wouldn't say anything else until Edward met his gaze. "They'll understand. I know they'll be sad that you had to suffer that, and Mom will cry and wonder why you never came home to us, but in the end they'll be supportive."

"I don't want to embarrass them," he whispered.

"_What_?" Emmett's eyes bugged out. "Are we talking about the same people?"

"Think about it... the son who they think is a wonderful success in life is nothing but an ex-cokehead who married someone he didn't even like very much, only to desert her when she became too difficult to live with, which then led to her suicide. How does that make me look?"

Emmett thought for a second. "OK... on paper, it's not great, I'll grant you that. But I'm not stupid enough to believe that's the whole story. I won't make you tell me any more now if you aren't ready, but it's pretty obvious to me that she was seriously messed up from the beginning. I always felt like there was something funny about you guys, but Rose just said you were probably snobs."

They both laughed at that, and their deep, husky voices pulled the waitress to them like a magnet, coffee pot in hand for refills. Once she'd left again, Edward leaned forward and smiled. "Rose wasn't exactly wrong, you know. I was a pompous ass for a long time. I thought I was above it all."

"Above _what_, though? A happy marriage? Being in love?"

"Well... yes. I've never really thought about it, but I guess that's right."

"Nobody is above it, man. It either happens or it doesn't. You just haven't met the right one yet. Don't think that because I was a goner at eighteen, that everyone is supposed to be."

"I don't think I'd know it if it hit me over the head, to tell you the truth. I have no reference to go by. All I know is sex, and even that was fairly rusty until recently." Beautiful brown eyes and soft pink lips flashed through his thoughts, and he ignored the warm feeling that it caused.

"Well, just don't fuck it up and mistake one for the other. If you find something worth keeping, you owe it to yourself to see it through." Emmett stopped his fork halfway to his mouth when he realized what Edward had let slip. "Wait a minute. Did you say until _recently_?"

"Uh... pardon?" Edward swallowed so hard that his brother could see it across the table.

"Dude... are you already fucking someone? _Here_?"

"Keep your voice down, asshole!" Edward shot glances across the room, making sure nobody was paying attention to their conversation.

"Oh my God, you totally are! Who is it? Come on, tell me! Is it someone from high school? Some old crush wishing she'd never let you go?" He started batting his lashes at him and making kissy faces.

"Emmett, shut the fuck up. I'm not even going to talk to you about it."

"No way, that's so unfair. Do you remember how much you whined and begged until I told you about my first time? Payback is a bitch, isn't it? Besides, you're rebounding in a very small pond, brother dear. You might as well tell me, because I'm sure I can find out by other means if I have to."

Edward put his head in his hands and groaned, cursing himself for not thinking when he spoke. "I can't tell you what I don't know," he mumbled, his hands muffling his voice.

"What the hell does that mean?"

Edward's eyes darted around the room again before meeting Emmett's expectant look. "It means that I don't know her name."

"Was it a one-nighter? Didn't bother to ask it?"

"No," Edward felt his cheeks heating. "There's been numerous... encounters."

Emmett stared at him for a minute in total silence. "OK, forgive me if I'm coming off as thick here, but how the hell is that even possible? Do you just never speak?"

"No, we speak a lot, actually. She's really very lovely."

"Then why don't you know her name?"

"Because I demanded that she not tell it to me." At Emmett's puzzled look, he explained in more detail. "I was upset about Tanya... I felt like everything was closing in around me... and then she just _appeared_, like some sort of angel or goddess. It was perfect, and I didn't want to sully it with names and facts about each other. I wanted to keep her as my own precious goddess that only existed for _me _while I was here." He looked to see if Emmett was following him. "When I'm with her... it's like nothing else matters."

"So why don't you swap names and start dating? It sounds like a little bit more than a fuck to me."

"Because I'm not available like that. I'm too damaged for anybody else right now, and with my art I could need to pack up and leave for New York any day."

"Don't give me that shit, you can paint anywhere."

"Not always. I have to be inspired. Besides... I don't think she's exactly single. This is just a fling to her, too. We are having our fun while it lasts and then that will be that." Perhaps if he said it enough he might start to believe it.

Emmett arched an eyebrow as he studied him, smelling the bullshit from a mile away. "Mm hm... well if that's what you want to tell yourself, that's fine by me. I just hope you know what you're doing."

"I do!" he snapped, uncomfortable under Emmett's scrutiny. "Now can we _please_ drop this!"

"Alright you big baby, let's get back to the hospital. I want to see if Rose is up yet." Emmett stood up and reached for the check, but Edward grabbed it out from under his hand before he could pick it up.

"I said it was my treat, remember?"

"Well yeah, but you entertained me with so much dirt on you that I figured I should pay." He smiled wickedly at him and reached for the check again.

"Ha ha, very funny. And no way, I'm treating."

They walked up to the counter to pay, standing in line behind a middle aged man in a policeman's uniform who was picking up a takeout order. Emmett looked at his profile long enough to make out the moustache and smiled broadly, reaching around Edward and tapping the policeman on the shoulder.

"Hey, Chief Swan, I thought that was you!"

Charlie turned around and smiled back. "Emmett," he said gruffly, nodding at the large man behind him. "How have you been? Are those Seahawks going to be worth a damn this fall?"

"I hope so! I only get at them after they're injured, though, so let's hope I don't see too many breaks next season."

"How's your father doing? I haven't seen him since he stopped in and visited me at the hospital after my injury. That's been, what? A couple years now."

"Oh, he's real good. Still a workaholic, but we love him. I totally forgot you were hurt a while back. Looks like you're up and around pretty good now, though. I didn't even see you limping."

"Well, I owe it all to my Bella. She moved up here to help me recover, and I don't know what I would have done without her."

"Is that your daughter?" When Charlie nodded, Emmett's face lit up in recognition, knowing he had heard the name Bella a lot lately. If he was correct, that was the same nurse who spent so much time with Rose yesterday when he couldn't. "Hey, wait a minute! Does she work over at Dr. Wylde's office?"

"That's right." Charlie paid for his order while looking back over his shoulder at Emmett. When he was done he moved out of the way so that Emmett's friend could pay their bill. "Know her from there? I didn't think there would be much call for a guy your age to need a pap smear."

"Cute, Chief Swan," Emmett rolled his eyes. "No, actually my wife just adores her. She said that she always goes above and beyond for the patients there. Rose was just saying the other day that she wanted to have her over some time. I'll have to let her know she's your daughter."

"I hope that won't turn her against her," Charlie chuckled. "I know your wife wasn't my biggest fan after the last time I saw her."

"Uh, heh... you remember that, huh?" Emmett turned beet red. "Well... that was a _long_ time ago, and we were just dumb kids."

"Oh, I know. But I must say that I was happy to hear you made an honest woman of her after that."

Looking to change the subject quickly, Emmett saw that Edward had finished paying and was turning around. "Hey, I'm sorry. Do you know my brother Edward?" He patted him on the back so hard that Edward was shoved slightly forward.

"I don't think I do. I knew you had a younger brother, but I don't think I ever had the pleasure." He reached out his hand and shook Edward's, addressing him directly. "That's probably a good thing that I don't remember you, since most of the kids I'm familiar with were trouble makers."

"Nice to meet you, Chief Swan. I'm suddenly very happy that I was a bookworm in school." They all shared a laugh until they realized that they were holding up the line. "Oh, I suppose we should be going."

"Yeah," Charlie agreed. "I need to get home and eat my breakfast before it gets cold. I'm still not used to switching back to the night shift yet. It was nice seeing you again, Emmett. Nice to meet you, Edward. Stay out of trouble, boys." He winked at them before leaving and jumping in his cruiser to head back home.

"Nice guy," Edward said as they walked to their own car. When they were both inside he looked at Emmett and smiled. "So what did he bust you for?"

"Shut up and get going," he snapped back, turning even redder than before. When Edward only continued to sit there and look at him, he finally caved. "He didn't bust me, exactly. He let me go with a warning."

"For?"

"He pulled me over once when my car was swerving. He expected to find a drunk asshole behind the wheel, but instead he found Rose blowing me."

Edward threw his head back and laughed, wiping a tear from his eye as he started the engine. "That's why I never tried anything like that in a car."

"Hey man, don't knock it. What you _don't_ get caught doing can make the risk worth it!"

Edward drove him back to the hospital, and as he did so he noticed that he hadn't felt so light in weeks.

Upon seeing the large building come into view, he also made a mental note to stop by the store on the way home. He definitely needed to pick up sponges and bubble bath.

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Does anyone else agree with Emmett and think that Strangerward is fooling himself?

Thanks for reading! Don't forget to follow me on twitter for update alerts, teasers and all around silly discussions! ()awesomesauce416


	14. Be My Valentine FGB

A/N: Sorry in advance for the length of this note. This next chapter is actually the FGB 'outtake'. I had originally intended to just write a fun, smutty outtake that would get tacked on at the end of the story after the epilogue, as many authors do. I had a blast coming up with this, and the Team Strangerward members gave me so much to think about. Those are some durty hoors! ;-p

Anyway, I asked what they REALLY wanted to read, and I was given quite a long list of possibilities, all of them naughty, and they were listed in order of popularity among the group. The top three things, I'm proud to say, were simply this: Possessiveward, Rainstorm, and EPOV. So, I set my mind to wandering, and I decided to combine all three to try and please as many of these lovely ladies as possible, since they so completely blew me away with their kindness and generosity.

So, I set out to make a fun, naughty extra scene... but what I ended up with was this. This sort of took on a life of its own and became something more, and some of the first bits of feedback I got on it confirmed what I had already been thinking: This isn't any damn outtake. This is a main chapter of the story, that can't wait for the ending. It won't work anywhere else, and it shouldn't wait. So, to those of you on the FGB team, I want to give a massive thank you for helping inspire me to dream up something that was never intended to be in the story, but feels absolutely essential to me now. I couldn't have done it without you ladies! I'm sorry it's not a very long wait from when you all were given it to read early, but you DID get it first, and you DID make it happen. I think you should be more proud of contributing to the actual story than just a side lemon. This is a much bigger deal. Also, don't worry, a brand new chapter that you haven't read yet is in the works, hopefully I'll get it out as soon as possible.

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer rules the world of Twilight. It's all hers. But this belongs to Team Strangerward! **

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_Be My Valentine_

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**EPOV**

There was no other way to say it.

I wanted to fuck in a car.

Ever since my brother Emmett had admitted to getting busted back in college with Rosalie's head in his lap while he was swerving down Division Street through the middle of town, I hadn't been able to shake the feeling that I'd missed out on a lot of fun activities when I was younger. I had gone from being a shy, bookish introvert to a pretentious snob who was _above_ that kind of thing. By the time I had hooked up with Tanya... well, let's just say that if designer sheets weren't involved, she wasn't interested.

But now... now I had _her_.

Something told me that my goddess wouldn't be adverse to a little bit of backseat bingo; if I could only get her in my car first, that is. We'd never set one foot outside of my studio together before, but I was hoping that since it was Valentine's Day I might be able to persuade her to try something different with me.

Although she had spent a surprising amount of time with me this week, I hadn't been holding onto any expectations of seeing her tonight. As much as I hated to think about it, I knew that she had someone else in her life who had a much bigger claim on her than I did. I assumed that she would be spending the evening with... _him_, which is why I was blown away when she'd told me this morning that she would be back tonight.

So I began to plan. I went to the store and picked up a few essentials to pack in a bag, not forgetting a fleece throw to finish it off; It _was_ February after all. I was counting on hot, sweaty groping that would keep us both overheated, but there was never anything wrong with being prepared.

I was so excited by the idea of dragging my girl off somewhere different for a change that I could barely stop myself from attacking her when she let herself into the apartment later that afternoon. She was wearing her workout clothes again, some black sweats and a red shirt that said _The Ladies Go Crazy For My Sugalumps_ on the front, and she looked fucking adorable. When I saw her reach for her jacket I remembered that I had a voice.

"Leave it on," I whispered, crossing the room to meet her at the door.

"Oooo...kay?" she returned with a puzzled look on her face.

I grabbed her jacket by the collar, pulling it back up into place on her shoulders before looking her deep in the eye. "Trust me."

"You suddenly have a jacket fetish?" she teased.

"Very cute, but no. You'll need it to stay warm."

"Warm? What do you—?" Understanding dawned in her eyes. "Where are we going?"

I grabbed my own coat and threw it on before taking her hand and leading her to the door. "You'll see."

I led her down the stairway, pulling her behind me, until we made it to the door at the bottom. When I reached out to touch the handle she stopped in her tracks. I looked back at her to see what was the matter, surprised to find a worried look on her face. Her eyes shot back and forth between me and the door a few times before settling on my face. I watched as she took a deep breath and sighed, finally ending with a small smile.

I smiled back at her and kissed her quickly, pulling her with me again into the alley. I looked around for any witnesses and ran for it, leading her to my car that was parked in the lot. Once we were inside and backing out of the spot I was in, I heard her quietly giggle to herself.

"What's so funny?" I looked at her across the interior, wondering what the hell could be so humorous at a time like this.

She suddenly had the most serious look on her face that I had ever seen, before replying in a completely deadpan tone, "I just... never took you for a Volvo guy." And then she burst into laughter.

"You are such an asshole," I chuckled, glancing at her again as I drove. "An adorable asshole, of course, but an asshole all the same. Besides, it's a rental."

We drove for a while in silence as the sky darkened around us. I noticed that she had managed to scoot so far down in her seat that she could barely peek out of the window any longer, but when nothing but a thick cover of trees came into view she shot back up.

"Where are you taking me?"

I turned off the main highway onto an almost non-existent dirt road before turning to look at her. "Far enough from town so that nobody can hear you scream." I arched my eyebrow in the most dastardly fashion I could manage and smirked at her.

"So this is when I find out that you're really a psychotic killer who travels the country seducing young women before making a belt out of their nipples?"

"Beautiful, I admit that I'm very fond of your nipples, but... wait, what?"

"Sorry," she blushed. "It was serial killer week on the Biography Channel." She watched for another moment as I turned off the road onto the grass and drove between the trees until I reached a clearing. "Seriously... where the hell are we?"

"Well," I explained as I pulled to a stop, "this is a place that I used to come to when I was younger. I would hang out here all day and sketch. Sometimes I would even bring some paints with me when I felt more colorful."

"What was so special about this place? It looks sort of drab to me."

"True. But you should see it in the summer; it turns into a beautiful meadow with some of the prettiest wildflowers I've ever seen."

"Wow, I never would have guessed this was hidden back here. Wait... you grew up here? You're actually from _Forks_?"

"Why is that so shocking?" The amazed look on her face was almost comical.

"I don't know... _look_ at you! You just don't seem to fit in here."

"I have no idea if I should be flattered or insulted right now," I laughed. "Although now that I think about it... I never really did feel like I belonged here." Just then a large crack of thunder could be heard in the distance, making us both jump.

"Oh no! I hope it doesn't rain!" She peered up at the sky, searching for storm clouds.

"Why? A little rain never hurt anybody."

"But... didn't you want to show me this clearing? Won't a sudden downpour put a bit of a damper on whatever you have planned?"

She was so fucking cute. Stuck in the middle of nowhere with absolutely no clue what was going on, and she was worried about my plans being derailed.

"Believe me, rain won't factor into my plans at all." I gave her another evil smirk and leaned towards her, kissing her softly on the lips.

"OK, now I'm definitely intrigued. What exactly _are_ your plans?"

I smiled widely and kissed her again, this time more slowly. When I pulled away I whispered, "Let's just say that they don't involve leaving the car at all."

"Oh... is that so?" she teased. "Well, since I don't exactly see a drive in around here anywhere, that really only leaves one other thing, doesn't it?"

"I'm amazed that you could be so closed-minded," I laughed, turning around and reaching into the back seat, grabbing a box from my over-stuffed bag. "You didn't even mention the picnic."

"What picnic? You said we weren't leaving the car."

"It'll be a car picnic. It's not much, just some sandwiches, but I thought that I should at least feed you something if I was gonna drag you out into the middle of nowhere to have my wicked way with you."

I handed her one of the sandwiches, expecting her to laugh at how poorly made they were, but was concerned to see an odd look on her face. I watched as she stared at the sandwich, turning it over in her hands like she'd never seen one before. When she looked back up at me, I could have sworn that her eyes were moist.

"Is something wrong?" I asked. "Do you not like turkey? I have a ham and cheese one here, too, if you'd rather have that one." She still didn't say anything for a minute and it was beginning to worry me.

"You made this for me?" she finally whispered.

"Yeah, I know. Sorry. I probably should have bought something pre-made, huh?"

"_No_... no. This is perfect." A shy smile played on her lips as she blinked a few times. "It's just that I... can't really remember the last time anybody made me something. Thank you."

Jesus Christ, it was just a fucking sandwich! And a shitty one, at that. Why the hell would that touch anyone?

We ate in silence for a moment, trying to ignore the awkwardness that was growing between us. I finished my food as quickly as possible and dipped back into the bag, pulling out a lighter and a tiny jar candle that was scented like roses. Feeling her eyes watching me, I lit the candle and set it on the dash before grabbing one last thing from the bag.

"Happy Valentine's Day," I said quietly, embarrassed to feel my cheeks heating up as I handed her the small heart-shaped box of chocolates. I felt like a stupid nervous teenager, experiencing things that I had somehow skipped over my whole life.

"Oh my God! That's so sweet!" She took the box from my hands and hugged it to her chest. When I saw that she was getting misty eyed again I couldn't hold my tongue.

"Please don't fucking tell me that nobody ever got you candy, either." Although _I'd_ never actually given candy to anyone else in my life before now, it seemed like a goddamn crime to think of her never getting any.

"Oh, I've gotten candy before, it's just been so long! I think I was in high school, maybe. I don't really remember for certain."

"It is a bit of a high school thing to do, isn't it?" I frowned. "I just wanted to... I dunno..." I groaned and raked my hands through my hair, feeling like a first class idiot. I stared out the window, watching a bright streak of lightning, hoping to avoid her gaze until my embarrassment had abated.

"Stop that," she whispered, placing a hand on my shoulder until I turned to face her. "It was an unbelievably sweet gesture that shows me you were thinking of me. It _does_ feel like something from high school, but I think that's why I'm so touched. It's almost like we're sweethearts hoping our parents don't catch us." She smiled brightly and winked at me, and for some odd reason my heart lurched.

She opened the box eagerly, tossing the paper liner into the backseat without looking. When the small selection of chocolates were revealed, she leaned over and took a deep breath, inhaling the scent with a quiet moan. I watched as she selected one of the dark chocolate creams and lifted it to her lips, biting down slowly.

As she chewed, her lids closed and she threw her head back. "God!" she gasped. "That's positively sinful!" I watched her tongue flick out to catch any remnants of the flavor on her lips and felt myself beginning to harden already.

"Like it?" I said quietly, surprised to find my voice a little hoarse.

"Oh yes," she moaned again, causing me to shift in my seat. "Here," she said, smiling again before holding out the other half of the piece she'd just bitten. "You _have_ to taste this."

I was starting to wonder if I was becoming a total pervert or if she knew exactly what she was doing to me. From the mischievous look in her eye, I was beginning to suspect the latter of the two. Well, two can play at that game, sweetheart.

I leaned towards her and opened my mouth slowly, allowing her to place the sweet on the tip of my tongue. Before she could pull her fingers away completely I caught the tip of one between my lips, wrapping my tongue around it and sucking lightly, refusing to let it go until I saw her lids begin to droop.

I chewed slowly, enjoying the velvety smoothness as it enveloped my taste buds. She was right; it was rich, decadent, potent... and sinful. But it paled in comparison to her.

I reached forward and took the box from her hands, selecting another piece and raising it to her lips. She repeated my actions, sucking on my fingertip until my eyes were crossing, and hungrily ate the entire treat. "God," she groaned, "that's so fucking good."

I set the box down on the dash next to the small candle and leaned in, until our mouths were almost touching. "You taste better," I whispered against her lips before flicking my tongue across the petal-soft skin.

My beautiful girl gasped and opened her mouth, kissing me hungrily. I could taste the tiniest hint of sugary fruit and chocolate as our tongues warred with each other, battling for dominance. I gave in finally and let her lead, thrilling to the sensation of her hands yanking and pulling on my hair to bring me closer and angle my head better.

After only a few moments we were both panting loudly, straining for more contact. I pulled away to catch my breath, resting my forehead against hers. "I've never made out in a car before," I admitted. "I had no idea what I was missing."

Seriously, who would have thought that a few pieces of chocolate and a kiss in the front seat could be so fucking _erotic_?

"Holy shit, are you kidding me?" She looked absolutely dumbfounded.

"No, why?"

She regarded me for about five seconds before nodding sharply. "Come on." She turned around and opened her door, stepping into the dark clearing.

"_Where_?"

"The back seat, silly! We're definitely gonna need more room." I watched as she opened the back door and jumped in. When I didn't move for a minute, immobilized by my pure excitement, she looked up at me in disbelief. "Well? What are you waiting for, big boy? You've got me right where you want me, and you're sitting up there with your mouth hanging open."

"Well, when you put it that way."

I joined her in the back, tossing my duffel bag in the front seat to give us more room. I had barely even closed the door before she was jumping on me, pulling me down on top of her and kissing me wildly. As soon as I made contact with her my body went up in flames; I couldn't touch her everywhere fast enough.

"_Fuck_," I groaned between kisses. "You are so beautiful... you smell so damn good." I was so aroused it was painful, grinding myself against her as we groped and fondled each other through our clothes. I slid my hands down her body and began tugging on her sweats, hating the need to make even the slightest distance between us as they slipped over the swell of her hips. Once they were low enough she kicked them off, leaving herself clad in only a tiny scrap of red lace. "What the fuck is _that_?" I growled, staring at the barely-there fabric.

"My Valentine's present for _you_," she giggled.

"Is that a thong?"

"Mm hm," she smiled, wiggling suggestively underneath me.

"You mean to tell me that this was hiding under those ratty sweats the whole time?" How I was speaking around the saliva that was pooling in my mouth, I'll never know.

"Yep," she gloated. "It matches the bra."

I looked her in the eye for exactly one second as I processed what she'd said, before grunting and yanking roughly on the hem of her shirt. She laughed, and it was a sexy, velvet sound that went straight to my cock. When she had finally struggled out of the offending item of clothing, she was left in the most seductive demi-cup lace bra I could ever remember seeing.

"Sweet Jesus," I groaned, before burying my face in her cleavage and covering it with open-mouthed kisses. Her giggles quickly turned into moans as I started thrusting against her again, feeling the warmth between her legs much more acutely this way.

Somewhere in the background I heard the patter of raindrops beginning to fall and slap against the windows, but when I glanced up I noticed that they were completely fogged over. There was nothing to be seen but the soft glow of the candle... and the mouth-watering siren beneath me.

"Come back to me," she gasped, tugging me back down by my hair until my lips were covering hers again. She had somehow gotten me out of my shirt without stopping our kisses, and her hands were making excellent work of my button fly when a loud, obnoxious ringing tore through the car.

"What is that?" I panted.

"What is what?" she asked, almost in a daze.

"That ringing. Don't you hear it?"

She looked around, reality sinking in slowly. When the shrill noise finally registered in her mind she bolted straight up. "Oh shit!" She dug through her jacket frantically until she located her phone. Shooting me a worried glance, she crawled out from under me and sat straight up. "God, I'm so sorry. I have to take this."

"You've got to be kidding me! _Now_?"

"Please! I'm sorry!" she mouthed before lifting the phone to her ear and answering, trying her best not to sound out of breath. "Hello?... Oh, I just got out of the gym."

As she listened to the loudly masculine voice on the other end of the phone, I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. I could only hear her side of it, but it was enough to make a red haze take over my vision.

"I'm sorry you keep missing me, I think there's something wrong with the charger for my phone. It keeps dying … yeah, maybe … OK … that's great … I'm glad it's going so great for you …"

The more she said, the angrier I got. There was no reasoning behind my rage, simply emotion. I was losing myself to it completely. How _dare_ that motherfucker interrupt my perfect night? How dare she _let_ him?

"Oh, I'll probably just watch some chick flicks all night … No, don't be silly, I'll be fine … I know … yeah, I _know_ … OK … yeah, miss you too … thanks, you too." She hung up the phone quickly and placed it back in her jacket pocket, refusing to look at me as she took a few deep breaths and wiped her eyes.

I tried to hold my tongue; I tried _really_ hard to bite it back. She was obviously very upset about what had just happened, and felt horrible. But I wasn't sure exactly _who_ she felt horrible for, and that pissed me off even more.

And then it fucking slipped out.

"Care to tell me why the fuck you just _had_ to answer that right now?" Even I could hear the venom dripping in my voice.

"Please don't," she whispered, still not looking at me.

"Please _don't_?" I spat. "Don't what, exactly? Don't give a shit that I told you he didn't fucking _exist_ when we were together? That I never wanted anything involving him to interrupt our time together?"

"What was I supposed to do?" she cried. "I tried to get that out of the way earlier, but he didn't answer."

"I don't give a fuck!" I screamed. "He gets you every time you leave me. Every single time, you go back to him. It takes everything I've got in me to keep from thinking about what you do with him."

"Oh, like you give a shit! You said yourself that this was just us having fun. You said you didn't care if I was a nun or married with five kids. _You_ said that, not me. Why the fuck are you acting so possessive all of a sudden when you want nothing to do with me when I'm not riding your dick?"

Was that what she actually _thought_? Part of me wanted to tell her that she couldn't be more wrong, but my stupid emotions got in the way. I was livid. I was seething. I was so angry that I couldn't see straight … and I had no right to be.

But it didn't stop me.

"If you'll remember, I also said that nothing from the outside was supposed to interfere here. I don't know about you, but I think this was a pretty big interference."

"Well shit fucking happens sometimes, doesn't it?" she snapped, getting visibly angrier by the second. "You had a call the other day and I didn't care. How can you even talk to me like that?"

"And you know damn well that I was talking to my mother about a family emergency, not someone else who I go home to every night and fuck!"

"Could be, how would I know? You certainly know more about me than I do about you. I don't know where you go at night, and I just have to accept that."

"And that's somehow _worse_ than knowing for certain that you belong to someone else?"

I wasn't expecting the sharp slap across my face. "Fuck you!" Grabbing the door handle and shoving it open, she screamed, "I don't belong to anyone!" before running out into the rainstorm.

I can't quite explain what happened after that. I just knew that the combination of her saying those words and running away from me awoke some long dormant fucking idiotic caveman. That's my only defense. It was as if my most base predator instincts decided to show up and pay a visit.

I ran after her.

"Where the fuck are you going?" I screamed at her, watching as she ran farther into the clearing. "It's storming and you're in your underwear!"

"It fucking beats being in that car with you!" she yelled back. When she saw that I was following her she ran faster, but I overtook her easily in the center of the meadow.

"Now you listen to me, God dammit!" I yelled, grabbing her slippery shoulders and turning her around to face me. It was obvious she had been crying, but her tears were camouflaged by the steady stream of rain down her face. My own hair was falling in my eyes, causing me to shove it back so that I could look at her. "I don't give a shit what you think, you most certainly _do_ belong to someone!"

"No I don't! And if you hate talking about him so much, then why don't you just _stop fucking talking about him_?" She shoved at me and tried to run away again, but I held her tightly. When she realized that she wasn't going to get away she began struggling in my arms, slapping at my soaking wet chest.

"I'm not talking about him, are you fucking _crazy_?" I shook her then, wishing I could somehow rattle some sense into her. "I'm talking about _me_!"

"Oh that's rich," she laughed, her cheeks glowing with anger in the disappearing light. "I'm your plaything until you get bored and move on. Please forgive me for not being more enthusiastic."

"No!" I screamed, blinking through the rain to see her more clearly. "You are mine until I _have_ to leave; there is a big difference. My God, you think I could get _bored_ with you?"

"Of course! You've made it more than clear." She sobbed loudly and shoved at me again, slipping from my grasp. I ran after her again, pulling her to me roughly until our chests were sliding together.

"You don't understand a goddamn thing!" I slammed my mouth down onto hers, possessing her lips with a ferocity that I didn't know I was capable of. Grabbing her by her soaked hair I forced her to look me in the eye. "I may not have any fucking rights to you when you aren't with me, but dammit when you are, you are _mine_! It drives me crazy to think of anyone else's hands on you, to think of someone being able to kiss you whenever they want... to hold you at night! _Fuck_!"

I kissed her again fiercely, not understanding why my anger was turning into lust. All I knew in that moment was that she was _mine_, and I wanted nothing more than to mark my territory. I pulled her down to the ground, ignoring her feeble protests. Once I had her hands pinned above her head so that she couldn't slap me again, I forced her to look at me.

"Admit it," I growled at her.

"I can't admit what's not true," she spat back at me. Her eyes were on fire, shooting daggers at me as if she were imagining my painful death, but it didn't stop her from wrapping her legs around my waist and shifting against my uncomfortably hard erection. Her body knew, even if her mind didn't.

"Stop being a bitch and admit it. I'm not going to let you up until you say that you're mine!" I ground my hips into her for added effect, leaving absolutely no doubt in her mind that I needed her badly.

"God!" she cried, wrapping her arms around my back and digging her nails into my slick flesh. Sobbing into my neck before biting me roughly, she snapped, "Just shut up and fuck me!"

"No!" I gritted through my teeth. Everything she was doing was painful... but it was exquisite. I felt alive, and exactly where I was supposed to be. I thrust against her more firmly, digging into the hollow between her thighs. "Not until you say that you're mine! Tell me!"

I leaned down and pulled at her bra with my teeth, tearing the lace, exposing a tightly puckered nipple to my hungry mouth. Sucking on her chilled flesh, I continued my movements until I felt her grinding her hips back into mine.

"_Say it_!" I snarled, feeling more possessive with every thrust.

"Oh God!" she sobbed again, digging her nails in deeper. "Yours," she croaked.

"Louder!"

"God damn you … I'm yours!" she screamed. "Now fuck me!"

I had reached my breaking point. Fumbling with the fly on my jeans, I tore them open just far enough to free my aching erection before shoving my hand between her legs and yanking her thong to the side. Grunting and panting, I lined myself up at her entrance and slammed inside her, making us both cry out so loud that it echoed through the woods … in a fucking rainstorm.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I was taking note of the biting chill and the downpour of water that was cascading over my bare back and onto her chest, but short of a lightning bolt striking two feet away from us, nothing was going to make me stop. I ground myself into her with one angry, possessive thrust after another, marveling at the scorching heat that was squeezing and milking every last ounce of sanity I had left out of my cock.

"_Yessssss_," she wailed as I pistoned my hips faster, her head thrown back into the sopping wet grass and her eyes squeezed tight.

"Look at me!" I commanded, refusing to let her do anything that would shut me out of her senses. When her fiery gaze shot to mine, I somehow felt myself grow impossibly harder inside her.

"_What_?" she spit out, furious at me for barking more orders at her. "I already told you what you wanted to hear! Isn't that enough?"

"No!" I yelled back. "It will _never_ be enough! I don't just want you to say it, I want you to mean it. I want you to look me in the eye … I want you to know damn well who's fucking you right now!" I leaned down and sucked the water from her rigid nipple before swirling my tongue around it, biting it lightly as I ground into her again. "This is not some dipshit little boy trying to play house who is inside you right now. This is _me_," I thrust even harder. "And you … are … _mine_!"

I could actually see her resolve crumbling in front of me. I didn't know if it was caused by what I was saying to her, or what I was _doing_ to her, but something finally made her snap.

"_Yes_!" she sobbed, wrapping her arms around me even tighter, her body starting to shake under mine. It looked like fresh tears were pooling in her eyes but I couldn't be sure due to the rain. "I'm yours! I fucking belong to you and I can't make it stop! I don't _want_ to make it stop!" She began weeping freely into my neck before kissing the skin where she had bitten me earlier. "Nothing else … nobody else … none of it means a _thing_ to me when I'm with you! And sometimes I fucking hate you for it!"

"Well sometimes I hate you, too!" I gritted through my teeth, my body beginning to wind itself tighter, like a coil about to snap. It was true, there were times I hated even the thought of her. I hated her every time she left me to go back home to _him_. I hated her every time I couldn't get to sleep without thinking of her. I hated her every time I would wake up in the middle of the night, painfully hard and alone, clutching my pillow because it still smelled like her.

I hated her every time I remembered that she wasn't mine to keep.

"Just make me forget … make it all disappear!" she sobbed into my ear before taking it between her teeth and biting down on the lobe. "Be mine tonight, too! Belong to _me_ for once!"

I forced her to look at me again, holding her head in place while I wiped the rainy tear mixture out of her eyes. "I already do," I said hoarsely. "I always have." And with that I leaned in and covered her mouth with my own, swallowing her kisses along with her tears.

Both of our bodies began to spiral out of control after that, finally reaching the point of no return together. I sped up my thrusts as she bucked her hips wildly, and I was startled to feel her hands slide up and grab me by the back of the head. She yanked on my hair until I was staring down at her again before gasping, "Now _you_ say it! Out loud!"

"I just did," I grunted, barely holding on as we writhed on the ground.

"Say it!" she cried, her voice breaking with an involuntary whimper. I could feel her inner muscles clamping down on me as I bucked my hips and had no idea how I was able to form a coherent thought.

"I belong to you," I moaned. "You fucking own me … body and soul."

And with that, she exploded in a fit of screams, shaking and bucking beneath me as I pumped my seed deep inside her.

After a few minutes of frantic panting and attempting to regain our _very_ lost composure, I realized just how freezing my goddess was; her teeth were starting to chatter and she was beginning to shake violently from the cold. I refastened my now soaked jeans and scooped her up in my arms, holding her close to me as I carried her back to the car.

Sitting down in the back seat again with her on my lap, I reached forward into the front and turned on the engine, blasting the heat on high. After that I grabbed the fleece blanket I'd packed and wrapped it around her tightly, tucking her against my chest as I rubbed her back, trying to generate more heat for her. I held her close to me like that for almost an hour, stroking her hair in silence and watching her as her eyes drifted closed. When I tried to wake her up gently to help her get dressed before heading back into town, she surprised me by whispering against my skin.

"I'm sorry I ruined your plans for tonight." Her voice sounded tiny and frail … and full of sadness.

"You didn't ruin anything, beautiful girl," I replied, kissing the top of her head. "I did, with my bullshit temper. I hope you can forgive me … it was uncalled for."

"Forgive you?" she scoffed. "If that's what having a fight with you is like … I might have to piss you off more often."

I could tell that she was putting up a wall between us again, making a joke when I was being very serious, but I wasn't going to push her any more tonight. Instead, I just smiled and kissed her before taking her back into town, dreading the moment when I would have to watch her leave me all over again.

xxx

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Hope you liked it!


	15. Por Una Cabeza

Sorry this took longer to update! Started a new job recently with longer hours, and it's harder to get as much private time to write. I hope you think this was worth the wait! The song that this chapter is titled after is the name of the song B&E dance to, but it's instrumental so there are no lyrics. If you'd like to hear it, it's already up on my chapter song playlist, and I'm also going to link a video on my author page that is sort of the dance I'd pictured, and that song is playing in the background there as well. Check it out!

**Disclaimer: Stephenie owns everything, but Strangerward is MINE! **

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It had been two days since he'd seen her.

Two fucking days.

Hell, almost _three_.

After their awkward silence in the car on the way home from their disastrous attempt at an outing, he kept telling himself that it would all be better the next day. Then, the next day came... and no goddess. Edward reminded himself that it was the weekend and she no doubt had some sort of commitments that didn't include him, but that didn't stop the nagging feeling that told him something was wrong.

By Sunday night, he was grateful that he still didn't know her name, or else he would have driven up and down the streets of Forks with his iPod dock looking for her, ready to become the world's most pathetic Lloyd Dobler ripoff. He didn't know what it was about this woman that was making him regress to a high school boyfriend mentality; he only knew that he felt horrible about the way things had escalated the other night, and he missed her terribly.

Monday afternoon found him pacing in front of a paint-smeared canvas, his thoughts too preoccupied to focus on the task at hand. Edward normally had a routine of zoning out to his music when he painted and letting his emotions take over, leading him to paint from his subconscious until he found something tangible to work with for a subject. However, now every single time he tried to lose himself in his art, he would find another reminder of that night on the canvas when he was done.

First, it was a melted piece of chocolate; that had quickly been scraped away with a loud huff. Next, it had been a half-eaten sandwich soaked with tears; that one had made Edward pull roughly on his hair before squirting the whole thing down with turpentine and wiping it away. When he finally realized that his last one was shaping up to be the foggy view from inside the rain-soaked windows of his car, he cursed loudly and kicked the easel across the room before forcing himself to take a break.

He turned off the loud beats that were flooding the apartment and threw himself face down on the mattress, allowing himself for the first time to focus on what was really bothering him.

What if she never came back?

The only thing that scared him more than that idea was the fact that he cared so much.

~/LTIF\~

Across town, Bella wasn't faring much better.

She had spent all weekend moping around the house, telling herself that there was always one more chore that had to be done before she could even dream of going anywhere. The house had never been cleaner, Charlie _and_ the cats had never been fed more in their lives, and now Bella was completely out of distractions and excuses.

She'd even gone so far as to call Jake up out of the blue and talk his ear off for the better part of an hour before he finally told her that he was really happy to hear from her, but he had to get back to work. It turned out that the buddy Sam was buying the car from in Oregon also ran his own garage, and they were down a mechanic since their best one skipped town with his seventeen year old pregnant mistress the week before. Now that he and Sam had two cars, Jake offered to stay behind and help them out for a few days until they could find more help.

Bella could tell from how happy he sounded on the phone that if it weren't for his drunk-ass nagging father and the fact that he had a fiancee back home, he might have just decided to stay quite a bit longer than a few days.

Her thoughts were only half selfish when she found herself wishing that he would.

Once she had absolutely nothing left to feign interest in, she curled up in a ball on her bed for hours and tried desperately to forget how embarrassed she was over her actions Friday night. She kept telling herself over and over again that she never should have taken that phone call; the night would have gone so much smoother. She'd been so thrilled to be able to help her stranger live out a lifelong fantasy... they'd been so _damn_ close... and then she had to fuck it all up by answering a stupid call that she didn't even want to take. It could have waited, it really could have.

Then she had gone and cried like a big baby when he got angry, and she still felt completely humiliated by the things she'd said and done after that. How could she ever look him in the eye again?

And why would he ever want her to?

That was the thought that kept digging at her the most. Every time she nearly caved and ran out the door to go to him again, she was struck with the fear of what she might be greeted with when she got there. Would it be indifference? Resentment for ruining things? Or even worse... pity? Pity for the poor girl who thought she could actually make him hers, even if only for one night?

She knew that she could never take back the things she said, and she would never be convinced that he hadn't only agreed with her to shut her up. Nevertheless, she missed him so much it hurt. The longer she stayed away, the worse the pain inside her became.

Monday at work had been an even bigger disaster. She was so sad and distracted that her patients were asking her what was wrong, and Bella was discovering that there wasn't a situation much more awkward than someone offering to give you a hug when you were just about to tell them they have chlamydia.

By the end of her shift she knew that she couldn't stand it any longer. She had to see him again, regardless of how he received her. Even if he pointed and laughed and called her a big, delusional baby, she would still go to him. After she kicked him in the junk, of course, but go to him she would.

As she walked up the long, dark stairway to the apartment, she couldn't shake off the feeling that something was different. When she clearly heard the key turn in the lock, she realized that it was the total silence that seemed off. Where was his blaring music? Was he not even here? It was so quiet in the living room that she could actually hear the beautiful strains of a tango drifting up from the class downstairs.

Before she could call out for him he was there in the bedroom doorway, like some sort of dark angel who always knew when they were needed without ever being asked. He stood there for a moment, watching her from across the room, looking her up and down as if he were afraid she was going to disappear. When he seemed satisfied that she was real he began approaching her slowly, and Bella was pleased to find no hint of pity or sarcasm on his face... only relief.

When he was no more than five inches away from her he stopped, his head ducked down as if in shame, afraid to meet her eyes. Bella watched as he carefully reached out and slipped his hands around her waist, and only then did he seem to breath, a deep, loud sigh. He pulled her to him quickly and buried his face in her neck, not doing anything but holding her tightly and inhaling her scent. It wasn't until Bella held him back that she felt his stiff body start to tremble before finally relaxing around her.

They stood there together like that for almost a minute, simply holding each other and soaking it all in. Bella was busy marveling at how right it felt to be in his arms again, and Edward couldn't stop trying to commit every single aspect of her scent to his memory; after nearly three days without her in the apartment, all of his reminders of her had just about faded away.

They probably would have been content to stand there like that all night if it hadn't been for the loud _thump thump thump_ that echoed up through the floor, followed by a muffled '_Again!_' as Ms. Cope scolded the class and started the song over again from the beginning. However, the interruption didn't force them to move away from each other. Rather, it brought them back to reality just enough to hear the music.

As the violin and the accordion drifted around them, Bella was surprised to feel her stranger grip her tighter and begin to sway to the beat. When she looked up at him with a puzzled expression, he merely smiled gently and stopped long enough to push her jacket off her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor before kicking it away. By the time she had followed its motion across the floor with her eyes, he had taken her right hand in his left and lifted it to their side, followed quickly by his other hand sliding around to grip her hip firmly.

"What are you—?" she gasped as he took two elegant steps towards her, forcing her to move backwards with him.

"Shh..."

"But I have no idea how to—"

"_Shh!_"

With that he took her other hand and placed it on his shoulder before grabbing her by the hip again and taking two more small steps in her direction, guiding her backwards with the pressure of his grip. She watched as he rocked a bit on his feet after the second step, moving her body with him, and then she gasped even louder when he spun himself backwards into a sideways lean, commanding her to follow with only his touch.

_Of **course** this motherfucker knows how to Tango. Why wouldn't he? _

Bella finally just shut up and allowed herself to be led, never taking her eyes off his. She was afraid that if she tried to look down at her feet she might stumble, so she concentrated on the smoldering jade gaze that had her anchored. He pulled her with him into a long step to the side, dragging their other legs behind them before shifting his hold on her back and dipping her deeply. When he lifted her back up she giggled nervously, imagining how foolish they looked doing the Tango in grubby workout sweats and paint-splattered clothes, but the heated gaze she was met with nearly did her in.

There was _nothing_ foolish about that.

He took his time whirling and twirling her around the room, never losing control of the beauty in his arms. Whenever the piano would break in with a louder change in tempo, he would spin her out the full extension of his arm before snapping her back to his chest and dipping her again. Right about the time that Bella thought he couldn't possibly be any sexier, he began to twist his body, cross-stepping in front of her and guiding her to move in the opposite directions, brushing the front of himself against her with every turn.

He eventually twirled her around so that her back was pressed against his chest, and after a few more gliding steps forward he lifted his arm up high and started to spin her as he walked. Bella was almost to the point of dizziness when he pulled her to him one final time, dipping her deeply while his hand slid down from her back, caressing over the swell of her ass before lifting her thigh up and wrapping it around his hip as the beautiful song wound down to a close.

He leaned over and kissed her gently, barely brushing her soft lips with his own before resting his forehead against hers and closing his eyes.

"I missed you," he whispered, his eyes still shut tight.

"I missed you, too," Bella replied, surprised at the loud exhale he made, as if he'd been anxiously awaiting her response. He opened his eyes and looked at her intently, slowly lowering her body down beneath him. The soft feeling of the mattress hitting her back finally made her pay attention to her surroundings; the sexy motherfucker had danced her into the fucking bedroom and dangled her over the goddamn bed!

She had been about to tease him regarding dancing with nefarious ulterior motives, but something about the look on his face made her stop. There was such a deep longing in his eyes that she instantly knew this wasn't the time or place for joking.

"I was worried you weren't coming back." His voice was so soft and quiet that she barely heard him, even though he was only inches away from her face.

"I..." she swallowed thickly, "I was worried that you wouldn't want me back."

Edward planted his knee between her thighs and braced his weight on his hands beside her head, doing nothing for almost a full thirty seconds but staring at her face. His eyes lingered on hers before falling to her lips, then back up to her eyes again as if he couldn't decide what was more captivating. Very slowly, he lifted one hand to the side of her face and caressed her cheek, dragging his long thumb across her bottom lip in the process.

"Silly little girl," he breathed. "I'll always want you. I just have to accept that I can't always have you."

With that, Edward could wait no longer. It had been entirely too long since he had tasted her lips properly, and he was going to remedy that right now. Closing the distance between them, he covered her mouth with his own, deepening the kiss as he settled his weight on her more firmly. His body screamed to life when he felt his goddess respond eagerly, wrapping her arms around his neck and shoving her hands into his hair as if she were holding on for dear life.

When the slick tip of his sweet tongue probed at her lips for entrance, Bella feared that she might faint, the intoxicating flavor of him making her dizzy. She accepted him slowly, both savoring the experience and doing her best to stay lucid. The languorous drag of his tongue against her own was its own form of exquisite torture, and they both moaned at the sensation when they began to swirl them together.

Edward couldn't resist sliding his hands lower, down her sides and over her hips, touching everything along the way as he kissed her. When he switched direction and pushed them back up, he hooked his thumbs under the hem of her shirt and lifted it, raking his fingertips over her bare flesh as he moved. Bella lifted enough for him to remove the offending article of clothing, but she whimpered when he had to pull his mouth away long enough to raise it over her head.

Just as hungry to feel his skin, she barely had enough clarity of mind to return the favor, tugging on his splattered t-shirt until he took the hint, raising up on his knees and yanking it off before tossing it across the room. Bella quickly removed her bra, throwing it in the same direction as his shirt, and laid there looking up at him in all of his bare-chested glory. He watched her for a moment, panting, before smiling and lowering himself back on top of her, nearly jumping at the electric jolt he felt when their flesh made contact.

Edward began kissing her again, each shift of his lips and tongue more ravenous than the last. He went no farther than kissing for a while, though, happy to simply have her in his arms again with her skin touching his. Bella didn't know what to make of it at first; where he would normally start speeding up their actions in a rush to get on with better things, he began slowing down even more, kissing her so slowly and deeply that her eyes began to cross.

When he finally touched her again, it was so light at first that she barely felt it. He started at her face, dragging his fingers down her porcelain skin as he kissed her, following the column of her throat until he was cupping her breast. He loved her with his hands, almost tickling her sides as he stroked her flat belly.

When he reached the top of her pants he slid his fingers underneath the elastic, reaching around her to pull them down around her backside, taking her panties with them. When her pants were bunched up around her ankles he noticed that he hadn't even removed her shoes yet, so those were thrown haphazardly over his shoulders without looking, quickly followed by her wadded up sweats; Edward couldn't be bothered to take his eyes away from her gloriously nude body to see where they landed.

This time he moved even more slowly, drinking in the sight of her from her feet upward until he followed his gaze with his hands. He circled each of her ankles with his long fingers, dragging them up her calves before sliding his hands to the front of her thighs, moving even higher. His thumbs barely brushed against the tightly manicured hair at the apex of her thighs before continuing on, circling around her navel.

When he had reached her breasts again he stopped, looking up to meet her eyes before he grabbed them more firmly, making sure that she was watching. He rested his weight on his elbows and settled between her legs, causing Bella to wrap her long limbs around his jean-clad hips. They both watched as he swirled his thumbs around her aching peaks, causing the tissue to tighten and swell, before he let loose a loud groan and covered one with his mouth. Suckling her greedily, Edward made sure to lavish attention on the other breast with his hand, squeezing and pinching her dusky nipple with his fingers as he continued to work the first one with his tongue.

She tasted so good that he knew he could get lost in her flavor, but after a while he made sure to switch over, not wanting to make the other nipple feel neglected. He worked her breasts for so long that Bella was becoming unglued beneath him, never having felt anything quite so intense there before. He had always enjoyed her chest whenever they'd been together, but nothing like this; it felt like he was _worshiping_ them.

After a few more minutes, the constant stimulation was beginning to make Bella squirm. She was starting to feel delirious with need, her body becoming more hollow and aching with each new stroke of his tongue. She was swollen and wet, her throbbing sex literally weeping to have him inside her. Before long she began rocking her hips against him, eager to find some sort of relief. Edward had tried to keep himself away from her for as long as possible, wanting to focus his energy everywhere else first, but feeling her writhing underneath him made him thrust forward involuntarily, grunting loudly around her hardened flesh.

After she ground herself into him a few more times he pulled back, not trusting himself to stay that close without losing his control. Sliding his hand in between their bodies, he slipped his fingers between her swollen folds and groaned at the feeling of them sinking into her wetness. Her hips bucked sharply at the contact, and the loud moan that tore from her body startled them both.

"Do you need that, baby?" he whispered as he slid two fingers lower and circled her entrance. "Right... _there_?" He pushed them deep inside her to accentuate his question.

She couldn't answer. She couldn't think. She could only _feel_, and it felt fucking amazing.

Bella could barely manage a squeak and a slight nod, but it was more encouragement than he needed. Without removing his fingers, Edward slid down between her legs and licked her silken petals with one long, broad stroke. Bella groaned incoherently and shoved her hands into his hair, moving herself against his hungry mouth when he began worshiping her there, too. He licked and sucked her clitoris with more vigor than either of her nipples, drunk on the taste of her, and when he curled his fingers upwards inside her she exploded around them, shattering into what felt like a million pieces.

Moving back up her body slowly, Edward took the time to appreciate every aspect of his beautiful goddess' climax: her flushed features, her dilated pupils, the rise and fall of her breasts as she tried to catch her breath. She was absolutely addictive.

How had he ever lasted so long without her?

He wanted to tell himself that he was only referring to the last few days, but the longer he looked at her, he wasn't so sure that was all he meant any more.

"Where did you go?" she panted, reaching up to hold his face. He snapped out of it then, meeting her curious gaze. She stroked his cheek gently before slipping her hand behind his head, pulling him down closer to her lips. "Come back to me."

"I can honestly say there's nowhere else I'd rather be right now."

He closed the distance between them and kissed her deeply, thrilling to her touch as she pulled him to her eagerly and moaned into his mouth. It never ceased to amaze him how responsive she was with him, and today was no exception. Her arms wrapped around him, squeezing him tightly before she slid her hands down the muscles in his sculpted back. When she reached his firm ass she cupped it, grimacing at the feel of the denim he was still wearing.

"I need you," she gasped, breaking the kiss just long enough to make him understand her desperation. "Please..." she tugged on his jeans, "I feel so empty without you inside me."

Edward didn't need to be asked twice.

Their hands tangled together in the rush to get his fly undone, the sounds of the buttons popping open the only noise that could be heard in the room over their wet kisses. When he had finally freed himself from his jeans, Edward kicked them the rest of the way off before settling back between her legs, bracing himself above her with one arm as he guided himself to her entrance.

Bella felt his broad tip sliding along her slick folds, nudging at her opening briefly before probing her gently, stopping once it was just barely inside her. She glanced up into her stranger's eyes again, wondering what had made him stop, and the expression on his face nearly made her weep. He was staring at her closely, as if he was memorizing every detail of her features, and once again the only word that came to her mind was _worship_.

"Is there anything wrong?" she asked after a few more seconds of silence. "Why aren't you moving?"

Just as he'd been about to slam it inside her, business as usual, Edward had been struck with the realization that his time with his goddess was definitely limited; the last three days had been merely a sample. He had no idea how many more chances he would have to be where he was right at this very minute, and he didn't want to take it for granted any longer.

"I just... realized that I've never watched your face when I enter you," he whispered. "I've usually got my eyes closed or my head thrown back because of how amazing you feel. That just... doesn't seem right. I need to know what you look like."

Bella had no idea what to say to that. She was feeling completely overwhelmed with a thousand different emotions at once, so she surrendered herself to her body and let it take over. Her hips shifted forward, welcoming him deeper, and she cried out in pleasure when he finally made the first thrust. It was shallow though, only halfway, before he pulled back again.

"Look at me!" he grunted when she instinctively went to close her eyes. He may not have gone all the way in yet, but he still felt so damn good that it was nearly impossible for her to concentrate. When her eyes were finally locked with his again he began to roll his hips, continuing with very shallow thrusts as they watched each other. He went a little bit deeper with every thrust, and after the fourth or fifth time she could see the veins standing out on his neck with the force of his restraint.

"Do you feel me?" he gritted through his teeth, his eyes a blazing shade of green. "Can you feel me moving inside you?"

"Oh God... _yes_!" she gasped, trying harder with each movement to pull him in farther, even using her thighs around him for leverage.

"Now let's see how deep I can go," he growled, leaning over to claim her lips in a possessive kiss before rearing back and thrusting deeply, seating himself inside her to the hilt. Edward watched as her eyes rolled back and she moaned, and the sight was almost more powerful than the feeling of her tight walls gripping him. He grabbed her hands and pinned them beside her head, gripping her fingers tightly as if it might ground him to the only sanity he knew any more.

"_Yes_," he groaned, rocking into her more forcefully with each thrust, never taking his eyes off her face. "Do you think I can touch your soul like this?" he panted before kissing her again.

She met every movement eagerly, bucking and moaning underneath him and trying her damnedest to keep her eyes open, but before long it was all just too much. He felt too fucking good inside her, the words he was saying were too goddamn perfect, and his face was just too painfully beautiful to look at any more.

Bella clamped her eyes shut, unable to process the onslaught of stimulation. Her body was winding itself tighter and tighter around him as he moved, each angle shift hitting her in a more interesting spot. When he swirled his hips one final time and groaned that he was close, something inside of her snapped wide open. She felt him deeper than she ever had before, and knowing that they were both about to explode made her frantic. She wrestled her arms free and reached down to grab his ass firmly, locking him in place as she ground herself against him, pulling him into her deeper with every buck of her hips.

"Oh _fuck_!" he cried out in shock at her sudden fierceness, the tight grip of her body milking him as he spilled his seed deep inside of her. The feeling of him letting go triggered her own release, and as he watched her face in ecstasy he couldn't stop the emotions from overflowing and the words from spilling out of his mouth. "You're so fucking beautiful... so perfect," he panted, "you feel so fucking amazing!" With that his lips crashed down on hers, devouring her whimpers and moans.

Bella had never felt so cherished before in her entire life. He had made her feel beautiful and precious to him. They had experienced plenty of sex together, but never like that. Today she had been _loved_... even if only for today.

The bittersweet emotion of it all made rivers of hot tears flow down her cheeks. She clung to him as they kissed, afraid to let him go, as if he could disappear at any moment and feeling deep down in her heart that it was the truth. She kissed him all over, physically unable to break their embrace: his lips, his cheeks, his neck.

When she tasted the salty tears on her lips, she mistakenly thought they were her own.

~/LTIF\~

Three hours later Bella walked back into her bedroom at home. She hadn't felt like fixing dinner, and since Charlie was out late working she simply grabbed a container of Blackberry Yoplait and followed her cats upstairs.

Once she was changed into some pajamas she threw herself back onto her bed, sprawled out with her legs spread wide, and stared up at the ceiling. She didn't move when Boober curled up into a furry ball between her legs and went to sleep. She didn't move when it got so dark in her room that she couldn't see any more.

She just kept staring up at her ceiling.

It wasn't until Wembley padded up and yowled in her face that she snapped back to reality. Turning her head to look at his fuzzy face in the dark, she sighed deeply.

"Wembley, what's Momma gonna do?" He just stared at her for a minute before licking her nose. "Some help you are," she huffed. "I love him. I love him and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. If I tell him, he'll just run away even faster." The cat had grown quite bored with her whining by then, turning away and jumping off the bed to go sit on the windowsill and clean himself. "Men!" she scoffed.

Wiping fresh tears from her eyes, Bella sighed again. "One thing's for sure," she said to the room. "Jake and I are going to have to have a long talk when he gets back. No matter what happens, this just isn't right... or fair to him." She let the tears flow freely then, mourning the loss of what could have been and mourning the loss of what would never be.

When she realized that the thought of not being with him anymore didn't even hurt, she sobbed even louder.

About twenty minutes later, after she was all cried out and almost asleep, Bella jumped when her cell phone started ringing on the nightstand by her head. She didn't recognize the number, but she could tell it was local and figured that she better take it since it might be important; Charlie could be trying to reach her.

"Hello?"

"Is this Bella?" a lovely female voice asked through the phone.

"Yeah. Who's this?" The voice sounded familiar, but she couldn't imagine who would be calling her at this hour.

"Oh, good! I was hoping this was the right number. This is Rosalie Cullen."

Bella glanced over at her bookshelf in the moonlight, her gaze landing on the now ragged copies of Rosalie's books. This was just too surreal. "Um... hi, Rosalie."

"Please, call me Rose."

"Um... OK, _Rose_... Uh... how can I help you?"

"Well, I hope you don't mind my calling. I know it's terribly late, and I had to pull a few strings through Dr. Wylde's office to get a hold of your number." After a moment of silence that Bella didn't have a clue how to fill, she continued. "Can we talk?"

* * *

OK, I hope you liked that! I know it was mostly lemon, but I wanted our couple to have a little make up time. What do you think Rose is calling for?

Just wanted to let you guys know, LTIF has been nominated for THREE Golden Lemon awards! (This is the Holy Grail for pervs like me!) Best Oral, Best Walk of Shame, and Best Use of Props (Woot! Butter!) I'll try to post a link in my author page if you think you'd like to vote.


	16. Everlong

Sorry for the longer wait on this one again. It's just been really hard getting into the writing zone after the longer hours at work. I'm trying to get the chapters out as soon as I can, but if I push it too hard I won't be feeling it anymore and the writing will start to suck. I hope this one doesnt! Oh, also, there's a new playlist up on my author page for this chapter if you're interested. "Karaoke Songs"

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns it all. She would never let Emmett and Jasper sing Hoochie Mama. **

* * *

_And I wonder_

_When I sing along with you_

_If everything could ever feel this real forever_

_If anything could ever be this good again_

_The only thing I'll ever ask of you_

_You've got to promise not to stop when I say when_

"_Everlong" ~ Foo Fighters_

x

xx

xxx

"Can we talk?" Rosalie Cullen's voice emptied into the darkness of Bella's bedroom through her phone, dragging her out of her self-induced pity coma.

"Of course," Bella replied, sitting up on her bed quickly, now on full alert. "Is something wrong?" As she listened she leaned over and turned on the small lamp on her nightstand, illuminating the room in a soft glow.

"No, no, nothing bad this time," she laughed lightly. "Actually, I realized that I never had the chance to thank you properly for everything you did last week. I would have called you sooner, but this is literally the first minute of alone time I've gotten. I love my family dearly, but they tend to hover and cling when someone is unwell. Emmett is the _worst_ of them all!" She spoke the last sentence in a dramatic stage whisper, bringing a smile to Bella's face.

"Don't be silly, Rose. I was only doing what anyone would have done."

"Well, see... that's where you're wrong. I don't think I've ever met anyone who would have gone above and beyond the way you did for me. Someone else might have given me a ride, but that's where it would have ended. You gave me comfort... and I'd like to think friendship as well."

Bella swallowed a lump in her throat before replying. "Of course I'm your friend, Rose... if that's what you'd like."

"I would. I'd like that very much. I don't know what it is about you, but I get the feeling that you are a good friend to have."

Bella wasn't quite sure how to respond to that, but she felt that it was somehow her turn to talk, so she just tackled the subject that was making her feel the most uncomfortable. "OK... I have to ask you something."

"Certainly."

"Is it weird that I'm a big fan of your books?"

"You are?" Rosalie chuckled lightly at first, and it grew into a full belly laugh. "Oh, I'm sorry to laugh, but I haven't so much as giggled in the last few days and it just feels so good." She took a deep breath before continuing. "Why on earth would that be weird?"

"I don't know... I guess it always feels a little surreal to me that you even know who I am. I was reading your stuff before I ever moved here and sometimes it's just a little much to process."

"Hey, I'm just a bored housewife who got totally lucky and sold some sleazy daydreams that she put down on paper, and I'm flattered that you enjoy reading them. Why should that be weird? I could have more fun talking about them with you than my mother in law, that's for sure!" Her voice dropped down to another dramatic whisper. "I can just tell that she's wondering how many of my love scenes I've acted out with her son, and that always grosses me out."

"How many?" Bella asked, before clamping a hand over her mouth in embarrassment. She hadn't meant to ask, it had just slipped out.

Another loud laugh echoed over the phone. "All of them darling, _all_ of them!" After Rose had calmed down again, she cleared her throat. "Listen, there was another reason I called. Have you ever done karaoke?"

_OK, that was that last thing I expected to hear._ "Not since college, why?"

"Well, we sort of have this twisted little tradition. Whenever something bad or depressing like this happens to one of us, we hit up the closest bar that does karaoke and make fools of ourselves. Now it just so happens that the little dive bar here in town has karaoke on Friday night."

"Karaoke? _That's_ your twisted tradition?"

"I know it doesn't sound like it, but the way we do it, it is. Alice and her husband usually tag along with me and Emmett, and once we get a good buzz going we take our turns butchering the most ridiculously filthy novelty rap and pop songs. It's pretty scary, actually, but they will do anything to get my mind off things and make me laugh. I was wondering if I might be able to talk you into joining us."

"Wow," Bella replied, more than a bit stunned by how much she really wanted to hang out with her. "Thank you. But are you sure? That sounds an awful lot like private family time to me, especially considering the circumstances."

"The circumstances are _exactly_ why I'd like to have you there, Bella. I've had my mope this week; I've cried my tears. Now I want to get drunk and tone-deaf and _laugh_. Something just tells me that having you around would make for a fun night. What do you say?"

"Well... I don't know..." _Just fucking do it, you baby! The world won't spin off its axis if you go out and have fun one night. _

"Please? It would mean the world to me."

Bella took a deep breath and leaped into the unknown; It was a feeling she was beginning to recognize. "OK..." she exhaled loudly, shoving her messy hair back off her face. "OK, yeah... why not?"

"Really?" Rosalie all but squealed. "Oh, that's great! I think you'll have a fun time. Now," her tone changed suddenly, all business, "Wear something kind of sexy-flirty. We make the biggest asses of ourselves and completely overdress for the occasion, and it's a blast. Karaoke starts around eight, so we'll be there to pick you up about seven thirty."

"Wait, you're picking me up? Why?"

"Never turn down a carpool to a group outing, Bella. It's much easier to relax and enjoy the ride."

_Relax and enjoy the ride._ "OK," she sighed with resignation. "Did you want my address?"

"I don't think so. You're still living with Chief Swan, aren't you?"

"Yeah, that's right. Wait, how do you know my dad? _Or_ where he lives?"

"Jesus Christ, Bella, it's Forks! _Everyone_ knows where your dad lives. Besides... your dad and I go _way_ back." The evil laugh that followed made Bella decide to ask her to explain that statement at another time when she wasn't quite so scared to find out the details.

"OK, so you'll pick me up Friday," Bella steered the conversation away from whatever wicked memories were making Rosalie laugh. "Should I look for your car?"

"No, we wouldn't all fit in that. Just keep an eye out for the most garish, outlandish SUV that you've ever seen in your life."

"Alright, now I'm officially intrigued," she laughed.

After a few more minutes of small talk, they said their goodbyes and ended the call. As Bella crawled into bed that night, she found herself wondering how long it had been since she'd made a new friend.

She couldn't remember.

~/LTIF\~

"Why, _nurse_! I don't think I'm dirty there."

"Trust me, Mr. Smith. I've seen what you do with this when you think no one is watching. It's positively _filthy_!"

Bella gripped the sudsy sponge around her stranger's engorged flesh, slipping it up and down his length underneath the warm water. She watched as he rolled his head back and forth against the wet tile and groaned loudly, temporarily dropping their playful banter as the pleasure flooded through him.

When his eyes met hers again there was a new fire in them. "Why don't you join me in here, nurse?" he practically purred.

"Don't be silly, Mr. Smith. _You're_ the dirty one here, not me. Besides, that little tub isn't big enough for both of us to sit in." Before Bella could say anything else, her unruly patient splashed a large handful of foamy water at her, effectively drenching the front of her scrubs.

"There," he replied smugly. "Now you're dirty, too." The look he gave her was steamier than the water. "I think there's just enough room for you in here if you sit on my lap."

Within seconds, navy blue scrubs joined paint-splattered jeans in a heap on the wet floor as Bella eagerly straddled her beautiful stranger and sent a large wave of water splashing over the edge.

Neither of them noticed.

It had been that way all week between them, playful and lighthearted in a way that neither of them had ever felt before. It was as if something had shifted since their argument, but if they had been put on the spot right then and there to explain why they felt so happy, only Bella would be willing to hazard a guess.

Edward was simply clueless. He knew that he wanted her more than any woman he'd ever seen, and he was alarmed that he seemed to be needing her more and more each day, but something was blocking his mind from making that last final connection to what these feelings truly meant.

He only knew that he didn't want it to end yet.

~/LTIF\~

Friday night arrived faster than Bella had thought it would.

She had just been brushing through her hair one final time in the bathroom mirror when she was startled by an obnoxiously loud horn honking outside her house. Dropping her brush in the sink, Bella ran downstairs to see what the hell was making that ungodly sound.

When she opened the front door, it was to find two gorgeous women on her porch. Rosalie Cullen was poised with her arm in mid-air, ready to knock. Standing next to her was the tiny brunette that she had brought with her to her doctor's appointment a few weeks ago. Behind them, parked at the curb and sounding exactly like an idling semi truck, was an enormous yellow Hummer H2.

_Holy shit! Garish and outlandish were understatements. _

"That's your idea of sexy-flirty?" Rose scoffed, bringing Bella's attention back to her visitors.

Glancing down quickly at her faded jeans and bulky sweater, she couldn't help but shrug in response. "I dunno... I don't have much in the way of flirty. And why are you so early, anyway? It's not even seven yet."

"It's an ambush, Bella. You remember my sister-in-law Alice, don't you?"

"Yes, of course. It's nice to see you again," Bella directed to Rose's much shorter tag along.

"Same here!" Alice practically chirped with excitement. She was so visibly worked up that she was nearly jumping out of her skin. "Now step aside and show me to your closet."

"I beg your pardon?" Bella couldn't understand if it was a joke or if the little one was actually tweaking on something and looking for an excuse to raid her medicine cabinet.

"Rosalie thought you might need a little help since you don't go out very often, and I can see that she was right. We came early to get you sorted out." And with that Alice was gone, blowing past Bella through the door and already making her own way up the stairs towards her bedroom.

Bella was left standing dumbfounded, not quite sure what had just happened, when Rosalie patted her shoulder reassuringly. "Don't worry, sweetie. It happens to the best of us. Alice is like a force of nature, and it's best to just stay out of her way. Now let's go up and see what the hell she's up to."

"But what about the guys?" Bella said, gesturing to the two men in the horrendous SUV. One of them she quickly recognized as Emmett, but she was fairly certain that she'd never seen the blonde man sitting behind the wheel.

"Believe me... this won't take long." Rose glided right past her through the open door, a bit more gracefully than her speed-freak sidekick, grabbing Bella's hand along the way. When they reached her bedroom at the top of the stairs, it was to find Alice already rifling through her drawers.

"What the hell?" Bella snapped. "Ever hear of respecting someone's privacy?"

"Oh _relax,_" Rosalie said behind her. "Just think of her as a pocket sized Tim Gunn. If anyone can find something in there, it's Alice."

"Christ, Bella," the subject in question growled as she slammed another drawer shut, heading to the closet. "Do you own anything other than Flight of the Conchords t-shirts and scrubs?"

"Well, no... not really. I guess I don't get out much."

"That's glaringly obvious," Alice muttered under her breath. "Don't you own any skirts?"

"I'm more of a blue jeans kind of girl."

Bella quickly got over her irritation with the small invader, standing back in awe as she watched her move with lightning speed. She was ripping through the hangers aggressively, clearly a woman on a mission, when suddenly she let out a loud "A-Ha!" Turning to look at them triumphantly, she held up a hanger high above her head. "No skirts, huh? Just what do you call this?"

Bella's mouth dropped open when she saw what was in her hand. "Uh, I call that a Halloween costume." She flashed back to the night five years ago when her roommates had dared her to dress as a slutty cheerleader and groaned. The tiny black skirt dangled on the hanger, somehow mocking her.

"Well it just looks like a mini skirt."

"No way." Bella started shaking her head vehemently. "Nooooo way."

"But knife pleats this cute never go out of style!" She marched towards her like a drill sergeant. "Put it on. Now." When it looked like Bella might possibly cave, Alice went in for the kill. "Just try it on for now. Let's see how it looks while I try to find a top that will work with it." A victorious light flashed in her eyes when her prey took the bait. She had no intention of letting her take it off.

As Bella begrudgingly changed into the skirt, Alice returned to the closet. In the very back, price tags still dangling from it, hung a dark teal silk top with a drooped boat neck and short sleeves that split at the shoulders and dangled loosely at the sides.

"Hallelujah!" Alice cried, grabbing the hanger and turning back to face her audience once again. "Why the hell have you never worn this? It's adorable."

"_That_ thing?" Bella groaned. "My mother sent that to me two Christmases ago. She said it was for me to go _clubbing_ in." She couldn't stop from rolling her eyes. "I didn't have the heart to tell her that it was nowhere near my style and that there isn't a club around for about a fifty mile radius."

"Well it's your style tonight." Alice nodded sharply. "Put it on. It looks like it's probably the only form-fitting thing you own. Why do you have so much baggy stuff? Are you afraid of your boobies?"

Rosalie chuckled while Bella simply shrugged. "I don't know," she replied. "I've just never been big on displaying them. I like a guy to look me in my eyes first, I guess."

"Boobs are the best accessory a woman owns," Alice explained as she tore off the tags and handed the top to her. "Men are visual creatures, and you need something to capture their eye before they even bother thinking about looking into yours. It doesn't matter what size they are and they don't need to be hanging out; it just needs to be visible that you _have_ them."

Once the outfit was in place and her guests oohed and ahhed over how she looked, Bella was told to sit down at her desk while Alice threw her hair up in a high pony tail. She was informed that it would look best for her to show off her neck and collarbone and there was no time for a haircut. After adding some larger earrings and a bit more eye makeup, they were ready to go.

The entire exchange had taken less than twenty minutes.

When they climbed into the ridiculously large vehicle outside, Bella was formally introduced to their escorts for the night. Emmett shook her hand, giving her an appreciative once-over before flashing the largest set of dimples she had ever seen in her life.

"So this is the Bella I've been hearing so much about," he said. "I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to thank you at the hospital last week for helping Rose."

"No problem, really. It was my pleasure."

"Well, thanks anyway. I was happy someone was with her." His smile dimmed slightly as he remembered the day's events, but he composed himself quickly and gestured to the blond man behind the wheel. "This right here is my sister Alice's much better half. Say hello to the lovely lady, Jasper."

Jasper looked up into the rearview mirror, meeting Bella's gaze in the reflection. She could tell from the crinkling around his eyes that he was smiling. "Nice to meet you, Bella."

"You too," she nodded. As the bright yellow behemoth rumbled to life and pulled away from the curb, Bella couldn't resist laughing. "I must say, Jasper... this is some truck."

"Why thank you, but it's not mine; it's actually Alice's."

"_Really_?" Bella laughed louder, looking at the tiny woman in question.

"Mm hm," she nodded happily. "It's my baby! I used to have a little Porsche, but there was just no room in it. After a year of driving in Seattle traffic, I opted to go for size rather than speed. Now if someone won't get out of my way, I just drive over them!"

They talked easily on the way to the bar, and Bella was surprised at how comfortable she already felt with them. They joked and teased between themselves the way that only people who had known each other for years seemed to be able to do, but they never once made her feel left out. By the time Jasper had managed to find a parking space big enough for their massive school bus, Bella was beginning to feel right at home.

Two hours later, they were all well on their way to being two beers past tipsy.

Rosalie hadn't been kidding when she said they made complete asses out of themselves. All night long, they had been taking turns in between the other locals, singing cheesy, rude, borderline offensive songs that had kept Bella laughing so hard that her sides hurt. When Emmett and Jasper got up to share the spotlight again and broke into an obviously practiced 2 Live Crew routine, she had to fight hard not to spit her beer on the table.

Emmett would yell, "_She ain't nothin' but a hoochie mama!_" and Jasper would jump out from behind him and shout, "_Hoodrat hoodrat hoochie mama!_" By the third chorus Rose and Alice had begun booty dancing behind them, and Bella had needed to make a beeline for the restroom after laughing so hard she nearly peed herself.

When that was done, the girls stayed up there as their husbands took their seats and performed a rousing rendition of _Shoop_ by Salt N' Pepa. Rosalie really got into it, circling Emmett's chair as she propositioned him through song, finally sitting on his lap and handing him the mic when it was time for the male solo. Bella realized that they must have done this one a lot, since he didn't even need to get up and look at the lyrics.

It didn't stop there; the boys jumped back up and did _Brass Monkey_ by the Beastie Boys followed immediately by Tenacious D's _Fuck Her Gently_. Bella had no idea if anyone else in the bar had even wanted to sing any more after that; they all sort of sat there hypnotized as the Cullens got more creative. At one point, Alice announced loudly that it was time for _her_ song, and she proceeded to strut around singing _In These Shoes?_ by Kirsty MacColl.

_I once met a man with a sense of adventure_

_He was dressed to kill wherever he went_

_He said "Let's make love on a mountain top_

_Under the stars on a big hard rock"_

_I said "In these shoes? I don't think so"_

_I said "Honey... let's do it here"_

Another round of beers after that, everyone started hounding Bella to get up there. She kept waving them off and blushing, but Emmett sealed her fate when he yelled, "C'mon, Swan! What are you, a big scaredy cat?"

Throwing back the last of her drink, she glared at him coolly as she walked up and gave her request to the DJ. She hadn't ever done the song she was thinking of in front of anyone before, but it was one of her favorites by Liz Phair and she knew that it would make him eat his words about her being too scared to be silly. She looked around the room nervously one last time as the music kicked in, and after taking a deep breath she opened her mouth and gave it her best shot.

_Give it to me, don't give it away_

_Don't think about what the others say_

_My skin's getting clear, my hair's so bright_

_All you do is fuck me every day and night_

_You're my secret beauty routine_

_Na, na, na, na, what my body has seen_

_I am lookin' good and I'm feelin' nice_

_Baby you're the best magazine advice_

_Gimme your hot white cum_

_Gimme your hot white cum_

_Gimme your hot white cum_

_Gimme your hot white cum_

When Bella finally finished the song, every man in the bar stood up and applauded, some of them even whistling and blowing kisses at her. All four of her companions stared at her with their mouths hanging wide open for a good thirty seconds before screaming and clapping loudly.

"Damn, Swan!" Emmett laughed, pounding her on the back when she sat down. "You are fuckin' _made_! Far as I'm concerned, you're an honorary Cullen from now on!" Bella simply smiled and fought back another blush, but she was surprised by how much his words affected her; she hadn't felt that accepted in... well, ever.

It wasn't until later, when Emmett and Jasper were teaching everyone _The Humpty Dance_, that Rose finally voiced a question that had been knocking around her mind all night. "Bella, are you single?"

Alice overheard and perked up like a prairie dog, speed-slurring an interruption. "Oh my god, Rose, I know exactly what you're thinking!"

"Why do you ask?" Bella hedged, suddenly feeling a chill. She glanced down at her now-bare ring finger, thinking of the engagement ring hidden away in her desk drawer until she could give it back to Jake properly.

"Well, it's just that we've never really talked about you much, and I've never thought to ask before. Besides..." she glanced between her and an eagerly nodding Alice. "I think you should meet my brother-in-law. It might be a bit soon because he's recently widowed, but something tells me that he would really enjoy meeting you."

"Oh no," Bella replied quickly, shaking her head. "No no no no. Thank you so much for thinking of me, but I'm _really_ not the best person to consider for that right now."

"Why?" Alice piped up, her gossip detector going off.

Bella looked back and forth between them both before promptly bursting into tears. She had always gotten overly emotional when she drank, and the combination of guilt that she was feeling mixed with the sweetness of Rose's suggestion was more than she could take.

"Oh my god, what's wrong?" Rosalie leaned in, stroking her back reassuringly. When Bella let out another loud sob she began to get concerned. "Sweetie, whatever's bothering you, you've got to let it out. It's not good to keep something this upsetting bottled up inside."

"I... I'm..." Bella paused to wipe her eyes before looking up at her new friend. "I'm supposed to be engaged."

"What do you mean, 'supposed to be'?" Alice probed, causing Rosalie to wave her question away in dismissal. She could tell that Bella would need to be coaxed gently rather than forced to answer any questions.

"Don't listen to her, Bella. She's just nosy. You take your time and just tell me what you think you can when you're ready."

"I'm supposed to be... but I don't _want_ to be," Bella whispered. "He's such a sweet boy, he really is. He's always been very kind to me. I love him... but not like I should." She paused to look at the two women, one with the face of a spectator, the other with a look of understanding. "I thought I did," she cried. "I thought I had everything I needed to be happy in life... or at least as close as I'd ever get."

Rose gently patted her hand. "And then you met someone, didn't you?"

"How did you know?" Bella gasped. Alice simply shifted her eyes back and forth between them as if she was absorbed in watching a gripping tennis match, loudly slurping her mixed drink through a straw.

"I don't know how I didn't put it together earlier tonight, honestly. You seem different lately. More alive, if that makes any sense."

"I do?"

"Yeah. You look like a woman in love."

"Well... _fuck_!" she moaned. "It's all pointless now, anyway. I'm head over heels for a guy who's leaving town any day, and I'm too damn scared to tell him."

"Why?" both women asked in unison.

"Because I'm terrified it will just make him run away that much faster. He doesn't seem to be the kind who sticks around."

"How can you know that for sure?" Rosalie asked.

"I broke the rules," Bella sighed, hanging her head low. "It was just supposed to be a fun distraction while it lasted and then we'd each go our separate ways. I was never supposed to get attached. Now every time I see him it hurts even more than the last when I have to leave."

"And he doesn't feel the same way at all?"

"That's what kills me! There are moments when I could swear that he feels it just as strongly as I do, he sometimes acts so jealous and possessive, but any time I've tried to hint at possibly wanting more, he changes the subject."

Rose thought about what she said for a minute. "Is it possible that he's trying to convince himself that he doesn't feel that way?"

"What do you mean? Why the hell would anyone do that?"

"So he can try to keep from becoming attached, too. Does he know that you're engaged?"

"Yes," Bella whispered, thinking back to the moment when he had discovered the ring on her finger.

"Well, think about it. He sees you willingly staying with another man. In his mind, you've already chosen someone else, no matter what you do with him. And I don't care what you said, some men just don't respond to hints. They need it spelled out for them with capital letters and small words."

"Mm, boys are dumb!" Alice mumbled around her straw before sucking up the rest of her drink.

"You got that right," Bella huffed. "Well, anyway... I've decided that I have to end the engagement. It's not right to keep it going when my heart isn't in it, with or without anyone else in the picture. I'm only sorry that it took my dishonesty to make me realize how unhappy I was."

"I think that sounds like a smart idea. Better to deal with a little pain now than a lot of pain later. Now, enough of this talk." Rose summoned the waitress. "Let's have another round! Oh, and just remember, if it doesn't work out... I know a guy." She winked at her, making Bella laugh for the first time since they'd started the conversation.

She felt so much lighter now, just by telling someone what she had been so torn up about. She also felt better about her situation with her stranger after the way Rosalie had made her think about his possible perception of things. In fact, she felt so much better about it after one more drink that she decided she wanted to see him as soon as possible.

Starting right now.

Excusing herself from the table, Bella told them that she wanted to step outside and get some fresh air. She didn't want to lie, but she had the feeling that Rose would insist on escorting her to his door if she knew what she was contemplating.

Her thoughts were so fuzzy from her drink and full of her stranger that she wasn't paying attention as she walked out the door and straight into the warm wall of someone's chest. Strong hands gripped her arms to steady her, and when she looked up to apologize she gasped loudly.

Smoldering jade eyes looked back at her, just as surprised as her own.

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Dun dun DUN! Let me know what you thought.


	17. Undisclosed Desires

Not much to say up here. I'm too eager to see what you guys think of this chapter. Hold on to your hats, folks!

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_I know you've suffered, but I don't want you to hide_

_It's cold and loveless, I won't let you be denied_

_Soothing … I'll make you feel pure_

_Trust me … you can be sure_

_I want to reconcile the violence in your heart_

_I want to recognize your beauty is not just a mask_

_I want to exorcise the demons from your past_

_I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart_

"_Undisclosed Desires" ~ Muse_

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Edward looked deep into the warm chestnut eyes in front of him and felt his heart skip a beat. He wasn't sure if it was from the shock of seeing her there... or the uncontrollable delight.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he gasped, still gripping her shoulders firmly. His goddess blinked a few times to focus on his face, as if she almost didn't believe what she was seeing, before smiling widely and wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Hey, Stranger!" she said with the tiniest of slurs.

When the smell of alcohol drifted up to him he looked at her more closely, finally noticing how glassy her eyes were and how heavy her lids appeared. "Are you drunk?"

"Lil' bit," she giggled. "I was _just_ about to go find you!"

"You were, huh?" he teased, before he remembered where he was. Looking up quickly, he darted his eyes over her shoulder towards the door. A tipsy goddess was an amusing thought, but even that wasn't worth the explanation that would be needed if his family or her fiance suddenly walked outside. Dragging her farther away from the door, he turned back to her. "Are you alone?"

"Well, my friends are inside... but I was leaving to go see you." She couldn't take her eyes off his beautiful features, concentrating longer than necessary on his lips while she spoke.

"But... _he_... isn't here?"

"Huh?" Bella asked, finding it very difficult to process the actual words that accompanied his velvet voice. It was so rich and sexy that she wanted him to let her crawl inside his throat and live there. It wasn't until she managed to drag her eyes back up to meet his that things seemed to click into place. "Oh! No, no. He's still out of town."

Edward let out a relieved breath, and it wasn't until that moment that he realized he'd been holding it in. Allowing for a brief second to collect himself, he finally glanced down long enough to notice her clothing... and felt his heart stop all over again.

"What the fuck are you wearing?" he growled.

"Do you like it?" She smiled, turning around in a wobbly circle in front of him. "I had a makeover!"

"I'll say," he muttered under his breath. When his heart finally started beating again, it was only to force all the blood in his body to his groin. She had never looked so sexy before. Well... she had never looked so _intentionally_ sexy before. He had never found a time when he didn't want her, every look she had drew him in like a moth to a flame, but this particular look was custom-built for seduction.

And it was working.

Her eyes were accentuated with a smokey liner that made them pop even more than usual, and her hair was swept up off of her shoulders enough to show off her mouthwatering cleavage. The color of her blouse against her creamy skin as it hugged her delicious curves could have been described as a religious experience, but the absolute showstopper was her skirt; it made her legs look ten miles long and filled his mind with filthy images of bending her over the nearest object and flipping it up.

"Oh!" she blurted out, interrupting his train of thought. "I wanted to talk to you."

"What about?" he asked, doing a bad job of hiding his repeated glances at her legs.

"Well... it's private. But I think you'll like it … Maybe … I hope you will."

Edward forced himself to look her in the eye long enough to say, "I'm sorry, what? I have no idea what you just said." She startled him then by reaching out slowly and squeezing his bicep through his jacket sleeve.

"Can you give me a ride?" she all but purred. "I was going to go to the apartment to talk to you, but I don't care where we go, really. I just wanted to be alone with you."

Edward only picked up on _alone_, _apartment_, and _ride_, but it was enough to set him in motion. He glanced down at his watch quickly before shooting another look towards the door, making his decision with a sharp nod of his head. "OK, come on," he said, rushing her away with an arm behind her back.

It took everything he had to keep from sliding his hand underneath her skirt as they walked.

He led her down the side of the building and around the corner, into the dark outskirts of the parking lot where he had finally found a spot for the Volvo. He quickly ushered her into the passenger side and shut the door, casting a few more furtive glances around the lot before joining her on the other side of the car.

"So..." he said after a moment of silence in the dark of the front seat. "Do you want me to take you back to the apartment... or did you just want to talk in the car? I could drive you home if you like."

"No you can't," Bella giggled.

"Why?" He wondered to himself again if she lived in that shack he'd seen on the reservation, and realized that if she did it probably wouldn't be wise to risk her being seen with him in the car.

"Because then you would break one of your own rules, silly!" She giggled again, reaching out to brush her fingers down his cheek. "That would tell you something about me." She stared at his mouth again, tracing it lightly with her fingertips. "Who knows? Maybe you won't mind so much after we talk." Her voice had dropped to a mere whisper; Bella had managed to hypnotize herself by not pulling her eyes away from his lips sooner.

Edward was having a very difficult time of his own trying to concentrate when her fingers were stroking him like that. She wasn't making any sense to him, and he didn't know if it was because she was drunk or because she was touching him.

"Um..." he blinked a few times and tried to clear his head. "How 'bout we head back to the apartment for now? We probably shouldn't just sit here."

"Fine by me," she clearly purred that time. Bella knew that if he didn't make a decision soon, she wouldn't even remember what it was she wanted to talk to him about. It was becoming cloudier by the minute as she looked at him, wanting to taste his mouth again.

As he went to turn the key in the ignition, he cursed to himself when he remembered why he was even there. "Shit! Just a minute," he apologized as he fished his phone out from his coat pocket, firing off a quick text message.

_Sorry, man. Something came up last minute. _

A reply buzzed in his hand before he could even put his phone away.

_What was that, your dick?_

Edward rolled his eyes before typing back a response to his brother. It was scary how perceptive he was even by text.

_Ha ha, real funny. Fucker. There's just something I have to take care of and it can't wait._

_OK. Whatever u say. But if u punk out on dinner tomorrow b4 we leave, mom is gonna have your ass. Speaking of ass, spank your mystery girl 4 me._

_Fuck off. And don't worry, I'll be there. _

Edward shoved his phone back in his pocket with a huff, wondering how the hell so little got by Emmett. "Sorry about that," he said, turning to face his tipsy goddess again.

"Hey!" She looked back up at him with a huge grin on her face, not even noticing that he'd been texting. "We're in your car!"

"That's right," he couldn't resist a small chuckle, thinking she was unbelievably adorable and carefree like this. "We were just leaving, remember?" As he placed his hand on the keyring again, he was surprised to feel her small hand cover his own.

"Wait." Her voice carried through the dark of the car, caressing his ears seductively before making its way down to his straining erection, causing him to bite back a groan. _Good God, woman, don't make me wait. I need to get you back home and fuck you... now!_

"Is something wrong?" he gritted through his teeth, wanting her so badly he could taste it. Her scent was filling up the car quickly, and even the slight hint of alcohol couldn't dilute its potency.

"Yes." Somehow her voice was even huskier, which he didn't think was even possible.

"What is it?" he squeaked out. He was trying to stare straight ahead, afraid that the sight of her in her skirt might be his undoing, but the sudden shifting in her seat made him glance sideways just in time to catch a small scrap of material sliding down her bare legs.

_Oh fuck! She didn't just do what I think she did... did she? _

"This is wrong." She pulled his hand away from the ignition and placed it between her thighs, pushing his fingers forward until they were touching her wet flesh. "You aren't in here right now."

Edward's heart stopped yet again and his eyes rolled back into his head. His voice was shaking when he finally found it again. "Are you … sure about this? We're in public … and … and you're drunk." _Shut up, idiot! Shut the fuck up! _

Bella pulled his hand back away and shoved his fingers into his mouth, making him groan and whimper as he sucked them clean. "Does that mean you don't want to fuck me in your car any more?" She leaned over and licked the outer shell of his ear for good measure.

Reluctantly pulling his fingers out of his mouth, he turned to her and growled. "I'm just trying to do the right thing here. I don't want you to regret this after you sober up."

She chose that moment to pounce, climbing over him quickly and planting herself in his lap. It was a tight fit, crammed between him and his steering wheel, but there was nowhere else she'd rather be in that moment.

"Fuck regret!" she panted before grabbing him by the back of the head and slamming her mouth down on his. She could still taste herself on his tongue and it was enough to make her dizzy with need.

Any resolve Edward had left snapped in that moment. Snarling loudly into her mouth, he shoved his hands under her skirt, gripping her bare ass and grinding her into his throbbing cock. He thrust up against her as they devoured each other, and after mere seconds he could feel the front of his jeans getting damp from her nectar.

Everything seemed to happen in a blur after that.

Deciding that they didn't have enough room, he reached down and hit the button, cursing how slow the automatic seats were in his rental. When they had finally moved all the way back, he tore his hands away from her backside to wrestle with his button fly, only to have her beat him to it. With loud panting that was peppered with kisses and lots of fumbling, they both worked to yank his jeans down over his hips enough to allow his erection to spring free.

There was just enough light in the car for Edward to see her rise up on her knees far enough to maneuver him between her legs, gripping him by the base of his weeping cock and positioning the tip at her entrance. He was panting so heavily that in the back of his mind he wondered if he might hyperventilate, and as he watched their bodies begin to connect he was afraid that he might start crying in agony at how slow she was going.

Once the very tip had been inserted she stopped moving completely, waiting for him to stop whimpering and look up at her. When their eyes finally met again, Bella placed her hands on his shoulders and leaned forward, kissing him softly before pulling back and watching his expression as she sank down on him in one swift thrust.

It was her favorite moment of penetration, watching his face. Sure, it felt good as hell, but there was nothing like seeing that look of shock and amazement cross over his features. No matter how many times he'd been inside her, he never failed to look simply _awestruck_ at how good she felt... and it was one hell of an ego boost.

This time was the best one yet.

His eyes widened and his brow furrowed, and he somehow managed to look scared at how good it was, as if it just wasn't humanly possible for anything on earth to feel so... _right_. The panicked look he gave her was almost a silent demand for her to explain herself, to admit to some sort of black magic or voodoo that had him under her spell.

Holding his suspicious gaze, Bella began to move on him, using his shoulders for leverage as she bounced up and down. Rocking her hips into him with every upward stroke, it wasn't long before she had built up an amazing rhythm that made them both throw their heads back and groan.

Her beautiful stranger had begun a steady litany of, "Oh God … Oh God … So good … So good … yes … yes … yes yes yes so fucking good!" and by the time he grabbed her ass to pull her onto him harder so that he could thrust up inside her even faster, he had regressed to nothing more than grunts and snarls.

Edward was completely beside himself. He had just enough presence of mind to know that he was just as drunk as she was, only he was drunk on _her_. He couldn't have been stopped at that point if the car had started on fire; he might have tried to finish even faster, but he knew he couldn't have stopped.

He couldn't understand how she managed to feel better to him every single time they were together. In his past, once he'd been with Tanya a few times, it was all old news. It was enjoyable, but there was nothing new between them; before long, it all felt the same. He'd assumed that was simply marriage, and that it was probably why so many people stepped outside for a little variation.

But this girl... this girl made him want more and more and _more_.

Her body gripped him so tightly that he wanted to weep from the pleasure, and each new shift of her hips made him want to cry out his thanks to the universe that this treasure was delivered to him, that she was _literally_ dropped into his lap.

Hungry for more of her scent, he buried his face into her cleavage, kissing and sucking her soft skin and whimpering louder when his access to her breasts was denied by the fabric of her shirt. Somehow understanding his primal noises, she moved her hands long enough to pull her top up to her shoulders and yank the lace of her bra cups down, allowing them to spill out over the edges for his ravenous mouth to feast on.

Edward licked, suckled, and bit each taut peak repeatedly, unable to focus on only one. His growls and moans were creating the most delicious vibrating feeling around her nipples, which caused Bella to buck her hips sharply into him, setting off a whole new round of snarls. It was a vicious cycle that neither of them wanted to end.

Before long, Edward felt the familiar tightening of his muscles, signaling an approaching release that promised to make his spine snap in two. Wanting to feel her finish first, he slid his hands up and gripped her hips, actually lifting her up and down on him as he slammed up into her as hard as possible.

"Ungh! _Fuck_!" She yelled at his sudden change, her body beginning to tighten itself around him.

"Yes baby... that's it!" he moaned, watching her cheeks becoming more flushed by the second. "Touch yourself for me. We're both so close … I want to feel you come all over me."

She complied quickly, sliding her hand down between their bodies until she was rubbing at her tightened bundle of nerves furiously in small circles. The added stimulation caused her to fall over the edge, her body squeezing and milking him as she found her release.

She only had enough sanity left at that point to look him in the eye and beg him, "Please! Come with me!" but she needn't have worried, he was way ahead of her.

"Oh God!" he cried out. "You're so fucking wet … so fucking tight … I can't … I can't get enough of you … _Fuck_!" And with one final thrust of his hips he emptied himself inside her, filling her to overflowing.

Bella collapsed against him then, every ounce of her energy disappearing with her powerful orgasm, and her exhaustion mixing with her alcohol intake. Edward held her tightly, tucking her head under his chin as he stroked her back. He had no words that could come close to anything that he was feeling, so he simply squeezed her tighter and kissed her forehead, wishing that he could bottle that moment up to keep forever.

When he noticed that she was beginning to drift off to sleep, he figured that he should get her into bed. No matter how much he loved the moment, he was willing to bet that she wouldn't be thrilled to wake up in a ball on his lap at four in the morning with his limp cock all sticky inside her.

"Baby … baby, wake up," he whispered into her ear. She rubbed her eyes a few times before yawning loudly, and managed to open them only long enough to smile at him. "Baby, if you want me to take you anywhere other than home with me, you need to tell me right now."

"Mm," she murmured with her eyes closed. "You … Always you."

_The feeling's mutual, my dear._

Lifting her carefully, Edward set her on the passenger seat next to him and did his best to adjust her clothing so that she was covered. Spying her panties still wadded up on the floor by her feet, he reached down and picked them up, using the small scrap of fabric to wipe gently between her legs before also cleaning himself up as good as he could manage and readjusting his own clothing. He shoved the panties into his jacket pocket, only to take it off a few seconds later and drape it over her sleeping form when he saw her shiver.

As he backed the Volvo out of the gravel parking lot, he thought to himself that no matter what else happened in his life, this would always be his favorite parking lot in the entire world.

Once he was back at the apartment, Edward scooped her up in his arms and carried her upstairs, stopping only to fight with the key in the lock one-handed because he refused to put her down. When he sat her gently on the mattress, he somehow managed to whisper the right words to convince her to help him take her clothes off so that she could be more comfortable.

Watching her barely raise her arms above her head so that he could slip her top off had the strangest effect on him; it was such a trusting action, and for some reason he felt himself swallowing a lump in his throat at the thought of her letting him care for her. He'd never thought of himself as much of a nurturer or caregiver before, but he knew that if she got sick in the middle of the night he would be there in a heartbeat to hold her hair back for her.

When she was finally stripped bare, he laid her back on the mattress and covered her up with the sheet, only leaving the room long enough to grab the wastebasket and some Tylenol from the bathroom. He set the can on the floor near her head in case she woke up sick and then woke her back up long enough to swallow the pills.

"C'mon, baby. You'll feel a helluva lot better in the morning if you get these in you now." He cradled the back of her head until she had washed them down with a few sips of water. Once he was fairly certain that they weren't going to come right back up, he laid her back down and removed his own clothes quickly, tossing them across the room in his rush to get back to her.

He hadn't intended on cuddling with her; he had wanted to leave her as much room as she needed to get up in case she felt ill, but as soon as he climbed in beside her she rolled over and snuggled right up against his side with her head on his chest.

"Mm... thiz iz nize," she mumbled against his skin, kissing him lightly on the chest.

"Yes it is," he smiled into the darkness, rubbing his hand up and down her back slowly, stopping every once in a while to stroke her hair back from her face. "Hey, you never told me what you wanted to talk about," he whispered, chuckling lightly as he wondered if it had all been only a tipsy attempt at seduction. If so, it was certainly successful.

"Mmm..." she rubbed her eyes without opening them and yawned again, resting her hand back down on his chest and patting it lightly. "Wanted to talk … tell you … love you." She yawned once more before giving in to the dead weight of sleep. "Night, night." And with that she was out.

_Wait... what?_

Edward laid there for a long time after that, doing nothing but staring up at the ceiling with wide eyes.

~/LTIF\~

The next morning had been slightly awkward, but from what Edward could tell she didn't seem to remember saying anything out of the ordinary to him before she fell asleep. She had blushed terribly when the night's events came back to her after she was startled to find herself waking up next to him, but that had only looked like typical 'morning after' embarrassment to him.

He had offered to pick her up some breakfast and coffee, but she insisted that she would be fine and only wanted to go home so that she could shower properly and lay back down in her own bed. He didn't want to let her go when she told him that she thought it would be best if she walked home, but he settled for a compromise of sending her off in an old pair of sweats and a pullover.

He tried really hard to keep from thinking just how perfect she looked in his baggy, oversized clothes.

Before leaving, she thanked him for being so sweet to her and gave him a hug, kissing him gently before pulling away. As she was opening the door she stopped one more time and turned to look back at him, another blush coloring her cheeks. When he asked her what was wrong, she simply shook her head and said it was nothing, closing the door behind her.

For the next hour, Edward took the longest, most introspective shower of his life. He kept seeing her bright blush before she left, wondering what she'd been thinking. Had she finally remembered what she had told him last night? If she had... had she meant it?

_She couldn't have meant it. She probably just said it out of habit. She was drunk and cuddling with a warm body... who knows who she was thinking of when she said it. _

The thought of her saying that to him while she was thinking of that muscle-bound asshole made him so angry that he threw the bar of soap he was holding, and it shot over the top of the shower curtain, making a loud _crack_ as it slammed into the mirror over the sink.

"Shit!" he yelled, not sure if he was madder about that or the broken mirror.

He stood under the spray of hot water, thinking back to earlier in the evening. He had been so damn surprised to see her there... but what a way to end the night. She had been just as desperate for him as he'd been for her, and even the mere thought of her climbing on top of him had him stroking his cock furiously within seconds.

He kept seeing her eyes, how determined she'd been to fuck him senseless in a parking lot full of cars, in the front seat of a shitty rental, no less... just to fulfill one of his fantasies. And she'd felt so good … so _fucking_ good!

He gripped his shaft harder, bracing himself against the shower wall with his other hand, squeezing himself as tightly as her body had the night before. When he bit his lip and closed his eyes, he was back in that car, listening to her moaning and panting as she rode his cock. The harder he stroked, the better he could hear her groans and cries for more.

_Yes … please … harder … so good … ungh … yes … right there … love you … love you … love you_

"Fuck!" he cried, erupting violently over his fingers with thick spurts of fluid.

It was so powerful that he instantly felt weak in the knees, leaning forward until his forehead was braced between his hands against the wall, warm water trailing down the taut muscles of his back. He was so shaken that he didn't move for a while, hearing those same words repeatedly over and over again in his mind.

… _love you … love you … love you_

Squeezing his eyes shut tightly, as if it would make the words any less true, he finally allowed his own reply to slip through his gritted teeth in a harsh whisper.

"I love you, too."

~/LTIF\~

Hours later, after Edward had finally dragged himself out of the shower and forced himself to move on with his day and stop dwelling on things that he had no control over at the moment, he pulled into his family's driveway for dinner.

Walking into the house, he was comforted to hear the typical chitter chatter of his mother and sisters in the kitchen. Rather than stop in there first and be fussed over by his mother, he instead hunted out Emmett, following the loud yelling in the family room that was a clear sign he was battling Jasper in another round of Wii. When he finally found him, he walked in and sat down on the couch, trying not to be resentful of the playful back and forth between the two men who were clearly as close as real brothers.

Edward knew that if he was going to stay around much longer, he was going to have to get to know Jasper better eventually. He seemed nice enough; it wasn't his fault that Edward was jealous of his brother's attachment to someone he didn't know.

"Hey, Pud!" Emmett called to him when he noticed him on the couch. Jasper waved somewhat nervously from the opposite side of the room where he was positioned for the next game of bowling.

"Fucker," Edward said in greeting, then nodded back to Jasper with a smile. There wasn't much else said between them until the game was over and Jasper went to join the ladies in the kitchen, giving the brothers a moment of privacy.

As soon as the room was clear, Emmett turned to him in frustration. "So what the hell was up last night, you douche nozzle?"

"What do you mean?" Edward attempted to play dumb.

"Don't bullshit me, man. I can't believe you didn't show. Would it have really killed you to break yourself out of your pity cocoon for one night? I know you've never really hung with us like that, but I think you would have had a really great time."

"Emmett..." he sighed, running his hands through his hair. "I swear I was going to go. I was running late, I know, I got sidetracked on a painting, but I physically went there. It's just that... well... I wasn't lying when I said something suddenly came up." He gave him a stern look before adding, "And that's _all_ I'm going to say about it."

"Holy shit! Mystery girl really did show up, didn't she?"

"Emmett!" Edward hushed him, looking around the room to make sure they were still alone. "I said that was all I was going to say."

"Dude, I'm not gonna push for particulars, but isn't this some ass that you've been getting on a fairly regular basis lately?"

"What's your point?"

"My point, _pudwhacker_, is that you might have been able to keep it in your pants for one night to spend time with your family! Or God forbid, invite her in with you."

"You know I can't do that. Besides... I don't know how to say this right so that it makes sense... but it wasn't about not wanting to hang with you guys. It's just _her_... she has this power over me. When she's around, I can't focus on anything else. I've never felt anything like it before." Emmett closed the distance between them swiftly and slapped him upside the head. "Ow! What the fuck was that for?"

Emmett crouched down in front of him so that they were at eye level with each other. "That, my darling idiot brother, was reality slapping you into consciousness. Wake the fuck up! Those strange tingly feelings you're getting in your no-no zone for this chick? It's called _love_, you fucking idiot. That's how people feel when it first sets in. Some people are lucky enough to always feel it, like me and Rose. Now do yourself a favor, and tell this phantom no name woman that you want to spend forever with her doing the mommy and daddy dance."

Edward dropped his head in his hands and swallowed a thick lump. When he looked back up, Emmett could see that his eyes were damp. "It's not that easy! I'm willing to admit that I have feelings for her, but she's fucking _engaged_, Emmett!"

Emmett stood up, dragging Edward up with him as he went. He patted his shoulder a few times before speaking again. "You know what? Engagements can be broken. Fuck, marriages can be broken pretty easily these days. It's not the end of the world. If she's what you want, you owe it to yourself to try."

"But she doesn't want _me_, Em. She's had plenty of time to end it, and she hasn't. There are times that I think she feels something too, but then it's gone as quickly as it appeared. And what if she did end it? What kind of life could I give her? I have no permanent home, no permanent income, and she would be throwing everything she knows away to gamble on me. Me, who's done nothing but make the wrong choices his entire life."

"But what if she's the right choice for you?"

"And what if I'm the wrong choice for her?"

"Fuck, man. You sure know how to bring down any conversation," Emmett sighed. "You know what I think? I think you should just focus on getting her out of this engagement for now. Work your Cullen magic, man. Get her single, and give yourselves a chance to grow into something more. Nobody said you have to run off and elope tomorrow. Get to know her first. Start by asking her name!"

"You make it sound so easy! I know deep down, that's exactly what my heart wants to do. But whenever I think about it too much, my head gets in the way. I start feeling caged in and panicky, like I'm just going to fuck it all up again and end up with another Tanya. Or I'm going to make this poor girl resent me so bad for taking her away from the only life that she knows. I can't stand this pressure... feeling like I have to jump off a cliff right now or forever be miserable."

"Dude... relax. You are getting yourself way too worked up right now. Take a deep breath, do some fucking Lamaze breathing if you have to. You've got time to think about it all. Now let's go see if dinner's ready, OK? Mom was making her homemade lasagna. That can cheer anybody up."

"Alright," he sighed, knowing that he was right. He only wished he could look at things as simply as Emmett did. He decided that he would leave it to fret over at another time. He owed it to his family to relax and enjoy their time together. Nobody here was pressuring him to do anything he wasn't ready to do yet.

As they walked into the dining room, the doorbell rang. Rosalie jumped up yelling, "I've got it!" as she ran into the foyer.

Edward made a beeline for his parents before they sat down, hugging them both before letting his mother fret over the length of his hair and insist that he wasn't eating enough. As he walked towards his seat at the table, he heard Rosalie again, but this time she wasn't alone.

"So what happened to you last night, anyway? You went out for some fresh air and never came back."

"I know, I'm sorry." Edward stopped in his tracks. He knew that voice. As it got closer, he began to feel a freezing chill working its way down his spine. "I uh... ran into an old friend outside. We got to talking and left to get some coffee. I'm so sorry I didn't come back in and let you know."

"Hey, I'm not your mother," Rose laughed. "I don't care _who_ you go home with. We were just worried something happened to you!" She rounded the corner and walked into the room, and right behind her was none other than his goddess.

_No. No no no no no. This can NOT be happening right now. This has to be a dream. _

"Hey Mom, look who finally accepted my dinner invitation."

Esme turned around and gasped, running over to violently hug the person who couldn't possibly be standing in front of her. "Oh, darling! I was so worried we'd never see you again! I'm so happy you came!" She turned to Rose and smacked her shoulder playfully. "Shame on you for not letting me know! I would have made something nicer."

"Oh, can it! Your lasagna is heaven and you know it. Besides, there's not much point of a surprise if I tell you about it."

Edward stood frozen and forgotten as the entire family fussed around the non-existent dinner guest. Why were they all talking to someone that wasn't there? Was this some sort of joke? He watched as she was presented to his father, apparently the _only_ fucking person in the room who didn't somehow know her, and within seconds he was smiling fondly and talking to her as if she were family.

Finally Emmett remembered that he was even there, and he smiled broadly and brought her over, his arm thrown easily around her shoulders. Somehow she hadn't noticed him standing off in the corner yet, and as his brother brought her closer, he saw her features move from a thousand-watt smile as she beamed up at Emmett, to what he assumed was the matching look of a deer in headlights that was on his own face.

"I think this morose fucker over here is the only one you haven't met yet," he announced, laughing loudly. "This is Edward, my younger, much worse looking brother." He held out his other hand and clapped Edward on the shoulder so hard that he was rocking on his feet, but Edward didn't feel a thing. "And Edward, this is Bella. She can do a mean-ass karaoke! Something you would have seen for yourself if you'd bothered to show up last night," he teased. "This pretty little thing is practically our new sister!"

_Holy. Fuck._

x

* * *

OK, I know it's another cliffie, but I WANTED to end it there! I have to keep you guys coming back somehow, don't I? They may not have 'met' at the bar, but they still met this chapter. (but now you have to wait and see what happens! MWAHAHAHAHA!) No, seriously, I'm not trying to toy with you. It's just always where I wanted this scene to end.

Now lay it on me peeps. Thoughts? (BTW, how'd you like that car fuck? Strangerward liked it a lot!)


	18. Secret

OK, I'm sorry this took twice as long as a normal update. I took Labor Day weekend off and then just had the hardest time getting anything written since then, no free time. I hope you guys think this was worth the wait!

**Disclaimer: Stephenie owns it all, I just make them get freaky in a game room. **

* * *

_I know I don't know you_

_But I want you so bad_

_Everyone has a secret_

_But can they keep it?_

_Oh no they can't_

"_Secret" ~ Maroon 5_

_x_

_xx_

_xxx_

_Holy. Fuck. _

Bella couldn't believe what was happening.

Somehow... _somehow_... the world was still turning and life was continuing on around her, but inside it felt as if everything she knew had just tilted on its axis.

Her stranger was there … and he had a name. _Edward_.

_Edward_.

Could it really be so simple? Would she have ever guessed it? How could something be both so completely unexpected and yet so amazingly appropriate?

_Edward_. It was rare for someone his age. Rare, but classic.

It suited him.

But that didn't answer the most pressing question at the moment: _What the fuck was he doing here?_

She could hear Emmett talking, but as soon as she'd seen her stranger's face in the room everything else had tuned out. It was something about _karaoke_ and _brother_, but that couldn't possibly be right.

_Wait a minute … Brother?_

Suddenly everything began to click into place in Bella's mind; all of the things she had somehow not paid attention to before came tumbling back at once: Esme's _other_ son the artist, the strangely familiar painting on the wall, Edward's mysterious family emergency last week. When she finally added them all together, she wanted to smack herself for not making the connection sooner.

Emmett was continuing with the introductions, somehow oblivious to the fact that the two people he thought had never met before were both locked in a death stare. "This pretty little thing is practically our new sister!" he enthused, squeezing Bella warmly around the shoulders.

She could have sworn that her strang— _Edward_ flinched at Emmett's words, but he recovered quickly. She watched as he blinked a few times before slowly extending his hand towards hers, reaching out his long, graceful fingers that her body already knew so well, apparently preparing to fake their 'first meeting' for the eyes of his family.

Bella began breathing rapidly, feeling a mini panic attack approaching. _Oh God, I can't do this. I can't touch him! The second those fingers touch my skin I'm going to lose it and his whole family will know!_

She took a deep breath, never moving her eyes from his fingertips, slowly willing herself to calm down. It was only a handshake … she could do that for him. Counting to ten in her head before moving, she gently placed her hand in his, using every ounce of her energy to keep from jumping at the instant electric jolt that ran between them as he finally closed his fingers around hers.

"So … _Bella_, is it?" The only thing that was able to break her gaze from their joined hands was his velvety voice saying her name for the first time, the sensation of it sliding over her body like liquid sex. Her eyes were pulled up to his again as if they were magnetic, and this time she was surprised to find that the jade pools had become molten and fiery.

He looked beautiful. He looked sexy. He looked confused. He looked … _angry_.

"Uh … yes. Pleased to meet you." She shook his hand quickly and tried to pull away, but he held her fingers tightly, squeezing them for a moment too long before finally letting them go.

"Likewise," he replied coldly.

_OK, what the fuck? What's with the attitude? As if I'm not totally freaking out here, too. _

Emmett glanced at his … _brother_, the thought still made Bella feel faint, as if he had suddenly sprouted a second head. That led her to believe that this level of coolness wasn't customary when he was introduced to someone new.

There was an odd moment of silence between all three of them before Emmett jumped to fill it. "You remember me talking about Bella, don't you, man? Remember … when we were talking to Chief Swan at the diner? I said how much Rose _loved_ her and appreciated her help." The last was said with emphasis, conveying a blatant warning to his sibling that he'd better ease off with the sarcasm to their dinner guest or else he'd have him to deal with.

Edward blinked a few times, reaching for a memory that seemed like years ago now, before snapping his attention back to the newcomer. "You're Chief Swan's _daughter_?"

Bella blushed furiously before nodding quickly. "Yes, that's right." It was barely a whisper.

His mind was flooded with images of all of the depraved things he'd done to this woman's body, over and over again, ending with the very naughty… very _public_ encounter they'd shared only the night before in his car. He then pictured her father tapping on the glass with his flashlight and wondered what the fuck the charges would have been for violating the chief's daughter eight ways from Sunday in the front seat of a rented Volvo.

Before any of them could utter one more awkward word, Rosalie appeared at Bella's side. "Alright, no monopolizing the guest, guys. That's _my_ job!" Smiling brightly, she took Bella's hand and pulled her away from the bizarre encounter. "Come on, sweetie. Don't get sucked into any sort of conversation between these two on an empty stomach. Emmett won't shut up about football and injuries, and Artsy Fartsy over there will bore you to death talking about Dali and Monet and Impressionism versus Surrealism."

Emmett laughed and lovingly flipped her the bird as they walked away, causing Rose to stick her tongue out playfully before showing Bella to her seat at the table.

Her seat that turned out to be directly across from Edward.

_Fuck! How am I supposed to concentrate on what anyone says with him facing me all night?_

As if on cue, Carlisle chose that moment to speak. "So, tell me about yourself, Bella," he smiled warmly. "My wife tells me that you're a nurse?"

"Yes, that's right, sir." She did everything she could to keep her eyes trained on the attractive older man at the head of the table, but realized that the longer she looked, the more physical similarities she saw between him and his youngest son. They had the same cheekbones, the same long, elegant nose, and what looked to be the same jawline.

"Please, call me Carlisle." He smiled again, interrupting her train of thought. "And you work under Victoria Wylde, is that right?"

"Yes sir— I mean Carlisle."

"She's good," he nodded. "Probably the best OBGYN we've had in this area for years. She's also one of the most... _ambitious_ doctors I can remember meeting for a long time."

"That sounds like her," Bella laughed quietly, and they shared a knowing look that made her feel instantly comfortable talking to him.

Edward didn't like it one bit.

In fact, Edward hadn't liked one damn thing that had taken place since he'd walked into the dining room. It was all too much for him to process, and having so many witnesses around made him feel like he was under a microscope and about to snap at any moment. Who the hell did this girl think she was, infiltrating his family and making every single person he cared about fall in love with her? And why was his mother mooning over her like she was the second coming? And what was with that look his father gave her just now, like they were best friends sharing an in-joke?

He wasn't ready for this.

This was _his_ girl. His own private angel. He didn't like the thought of sharing her with anyone just yet when his feelings for her were so new, and he _definitely_ didn't like that they all knew her name before he did. This wasn't supposed to play out like this; it was supposed to be some hot, no-strings-attached sex while he was in town. Now it appeared there were strings attaching every which way he looked.

What bothered him the most was how _meant-to-be_ it all felt, as if he had absolutely no say in the matter. He had just spent a decade of his life being bossed around and having all of his decisions made for him, and now here was another decision that he didn't get to make... it just _was_. He had been trying so hard to take back control of his life, and now it seemed as if everyone was conspiring against him to decide what he would do next, as if fate was actually forcing this girl on him whether he was ready or not.

He felt himself getting angrier and angrier, mentally preparing himself to start digging in his heels. _Fuck_ fate. What had fate ever done for him? If he was ever going to give in to his driving need to be with this woman, it was going to be on his own fucking terms, not because she had somehow snaked her way into the heart of his family.

He sat there at the table, barely touching his food, watching her talk with everyone easily. Even _Jasper_, who he had yet to befriend himself. There he was, feeling as if he was literally going to explode from the tension, and she was just laughing away and fitting in nicely. Fitting in perfectly. Sitting in the chair that Tanya had never been able to fill properly.

The realization of that hit him on a primal level. He felt punched in the gut, immediately wanting to avert his eyes from how _right_ she looked in that chair, but not having the strength to do it. And that made him angrier still.

Since he couldn't stop watching her, he tried to find any sign that she was even remotely uncomfortable with the odd situation like he was. The only thing he could spot would be whenever their eyes met; she would glance away quickly and blush. It wasn't much, but it was something. Well, if looking at him made her uncomfortable, then dammit, he was going to find a way to make her just as uncomfortable as he was.

"So Bella," he spoke, interrupting her exchange with Alice about a possible shopping excursion. "How long have you been living in town?" Everyone stopped eating and looked at him, surprised that he had finally found his voice. He got what he wanted though, because the moment he said her name she turned a deep shade of scarlet.

"Um... about three years or so now," she said, her voice cracking in the process. She could barely look at him, casting nervous smiles around the table at everyone else as she spoke.

That would never do.

"And where did you live before then?" he pushed, loving the sight of her finally starting to squirm.

"Uh... Phoenix, actually. I grew up there with my mom."

_That's it... keep squirming, my dear._

"And what brought you here, to tiny little Forks?"

"Well... my dad was shot on the job. He was laid up for a while and needed help around the house, and I hadn't seen him in a long time. I decided to make a change and move up here."

"Oh, dear!" Esme chimed in. "And you nursed him back to health by yourself? How long did that take?" Edward tried not to snarl as his mother derailed his attempt to hold her attention.

Bella turned to her, a quiet sigh of relief at her lips before she replied, "About six months until he was ready to go back to work. He healed faster than I thought, but I think he liked having a little time off for once."

"Oh, I'll bet," Esme chuckled knowingly. "Men! They love to be taken care of, don't they?"

_And waited on hand and foot, from the sound of it!_ Edward thought to himself. He'd never heard anything disparaging about Chief Swan before, but it certainly sounded like he enjoyed taking advantage of his daughter.

"So you were just his nursemaid for six months straight?" Edward butted in again, forcing her eyes back to his. "That sounds lonely, especially in a small town where you don't know anybody." His tone was becoming harsher than he intended, but his emotions were getting away from him.

"It was a bit... _claustrophobic_, yes... but I would do it again if I had to. He doesn't have anybody else." She didn't even flinch as she answered him this time, and Edward could tell that she was quickly shifting from uncomfortable to annoyed.

Carlisle reached out and covered her hand with his own, patting it lightly. "Of course you would, dear. He's very lucky to have you." Edward watched his father give her the warmest smile he'd ever seen and had to fight from swearing out loud.

"Anyway, Bella, as I was saying," Alice jumped back in, feeling the urge to diffuse the strange mood that had settled over the table. She shot her brother a look before finishing, wondering what the hell had crawled up his ass. "Port Angeles has some decent stores, but you should really come visit us in Seattle some time. They have the _best_ shops!"

"Oh, yes!" Rosalie clapped. "That would be so much fun! You could come over for a weekend sometime soon. One night at Alice's and one night at my place."

"Or we could just slumber party!" Alice squealed.

"Totally! And then go shopping in the daytime!" Rosalie was practically hopping in her seat at that point.

"That might be fu—" she started to reply before Edward couldn't hold it in any longer and cut her off.

"I'm sorry... _Bella_, right? Could you please pass me the _butter_?" He looked at her pointedly, arching an eyebrow, silently daring her to try to ignore his hidden meaning. He watched as her mouth dropped open, a tiny squeak leaving her throat as she turned beet red.

"Son, that was rude. Besides, the butter is right in front of you." Carlisle gave him a disapproving glare.

"Oh, so it is," he said, reaching out and grabbing it, buttering a roll slowly and licking his fingers clean where some had smeared on his skin. Without taking his eyes from hers, he pulled his thumb from between his lips and practically purred, "My apologies... _Bella_."

The dinner was fairly uneventful after that, full of nothing more than the typical banal conversation Edward was used to hearing at these get-togethers: shopping, sports, cars, history and of course cardiology. He kept his mouth shut for the rest of the meal, choosing instead to watch her in silence. After his little trick with the butter she had refused to even look in his direction again, but he was certain that she could feel his eyes on her skin, and it was just as effective at making her squirm.

When everyone had finally deemed dinner to be over, Esme announced that the men were in charge of clearing the table and cleaning the dishes. It was a routine trade-off in the Cullen household: whoever spent time preparing dinner got to rest while the others cleaned up afterwards. Edward was forced to watch as the women in his family drug his mystery girl away to show her embarrassing old photo albums while he was left to scrape out serving dishes.

Rosalie cracked another bottle of wine and joined all of the ladies in the family room, who were currently huddled around an old book that Esme had shoved in Bella's lap. "Oh _Jesus_, Mom, you're going to bore the shit out of her and she's never going to want to come back."

Esme held up her glass and waved her hand at her, shooing her away once her glass was full. "Oh stop! I never get a chance to enjoy such lovely dinner guests. Bella dear, am I boring you? Feel free to let me know, I won't be offended."

"No, of course not. I love looking at old photos."

"Oh, now you're just being nice."

"No, really. I'm an only child, and my mom wasn't the best picture taker. She would lose rolls of film and forget to pick up others she had developed. If it wasn't an annual yearbook photo, there just weren't many in the house. I think it's fun to look at candid moments and hear the stories that go with them."

"Wow, I don't know what's worse," Alice said, flipping over another page, "never having any photos to look at, or being forced to suffer through years worth on every major holiday."

"I bet if you lost them all tomorrow, you would miss them terribly," Bella replied, looking wistful for a moment. "Just look at all of these amazing family memories."

She looked over the page full of aged snapshots from the Seventies, stopping on one that caught her eye. It was so washed out that it was nearly sepia-toned, and it had a thick white border. It showed a much younger Esme, sitting on a loud-patterned sofa, holding two tiny babies in her arms while a toddler with huge dimples and dark curls played on the seat next to her with one of those old brightly colored xylophones. It was obvious that the toddler was Emmett, nobody else in the world had dimples that huge, but the two infants surprised her.

"_Twins_?" she gasped.

"Oh, yeah. Edward and I are twins," Alice stated matter-of-factly, as if anyone in the world would be able to tell.

"Wow... I don't see any resemblance. You look much more like Emmett."

"Well, I have Em's coloring, but Edward and I both have green eyes. We got those from Mom, and he got her hair color. Everything else he seems to have gotten from Dad."

"Oh, my little mix-n-match of genetics!" Esme cooed before hugging Alice tightly.

"Okaaay, Mom... I think that's enough wine for you," she teased.

Bella continued to flip through the pages, looking as the children progressed in age. There were plaid dresses and corduroy pants, switching over into denim jackets and tight-rolled jeans. Alice had gone through a very large bangs phase, while Emmett had apparently gone through a Metallica phase.

The only one who didn't seem to change very much was Edward. His clothing changed with the fashion of the times, but he always looked like a poster boy for that year's 'American Teen'. There was picture after picture full of Izod, Polo, Abercrombie, Old Navy and Lacoste. His hair always looked a little bit unruly, no matter the length, and for some reason he always appeared... _bored_. He epitomized the brooding, smart guy who just knew he was meant for better things.

She knew without a doubt that if she had gone to high school with him, he would have been the golden boy that she always fantasized about but never had the nerve to speak to.

"Hey Bella," Rosalie said, draining the last of her wine. "What do you say I give you a proper tour of the house?"

"OK, sure." She handed the album off to Alice, who was still being cuddled by her tipsy mother, and followed Rose out of the room.

"Let's start at the top and work our way down, shall we?"

Rosalie led her up to the third floor first, pointing out a guest room that was lavishly decorated, followed by another room that had the door closed. "That's Edward's old room. He still uses it from time to time, but Esme redesigned it a while back. It's really lovely now, no cheesy old trophies and pennants like my husband refuses to pack away. I'd show you, but he gets really moody when people mess with his things."

"I understand," Bella whispered, feeling her eyes drawn to the closed door, as if it held some long-hidden secrets about her beautiful stranger. "He seems like he gets moody easily," she added, still unable to shake the effect of his antics over dinner.

"Yeah," she sighed. "That's just Edward. I have no idea why he was being such a prick to you earlier, but I've known him since he was a teenager, and he was always a moody little shit. He's very sweet deep down, but it takes a while for him to warm to anyone. Shit, he still barely knows Jasper, and he's been married to Alice for almost six years now."

"Wow... don't they get along?" Jasper seemed like a perfectly likable guy to her, from what she could tell.

"No, that's not it; you have to actually know someone to not get along with them. They've barely spoken more than a few times."

"Why?"

"Well, Edward's been gone for so many years, I don't think he's ever made time for it. And he's been so preoccupied with his wife's death lately that I doubt anything else has seemed very important to him yet."

Bella stopped in her tracks. "His... _wife_? Death?" She vaguely remembered Esme telling her something at the hospital about her other son losing his wife, but she had barely been paying attention at that moment, eager to flee the scene of so much heartache.

"Yeah," Rosalie frowned. "About a month ago now, maybe a touch longer."

"But he's so... _young_. How?"

"Suicide," she whispered, as if they weren't completely alone in the hallway. "I don't know all the particulars and he isn't sharing yet, at least not with me. I get the feeling that he told Emmett some stuff, and I've been itching to pry it out of him. Anyway," she sighed again, "I guess that explains why he was such a grouchy fucker tonight. I'm sorry you got caught in the crossfire."

"I guess I understand," Bella said, not really understanding at all.

"You know it's funny, I was actually thinking of trying to set you two up sometime, before you told me about your little... _situation_. How's that going by the way?"

"Oh, it's still going... I think." Bella wanted to laugh at the circumstances that had led her to that moment in time, having a conversation with her secret lover's sister-in-law. "I haven't really had the chance to make any major changes yet, though. But I hope to soon."

"Well, I hope it all works out for you, sweetheart. You deserve some happiness." And then Rose did something completely unexpected. She hugged her.

Bella was surprised to find herself blinking back tears.

"OK, that's enough sappy girl time," Rosalie teased. "Let's go downstairs." They went back down another level, Rosalie pointing out rooms as they walked by. "That's Alice's old room, they stay there whenever they visit, and of course you remember the football hall of fame that is our room. Carlisle and Esme sleep down there at the end of the hall."

They continued down the hall until they reached a back stairway, which ended up leading them down into the kitchen. Rosalie chattered away happily as they walked in the room, not paying any attention to the men who were still scraping and washing the dishes. Bella tried to concentrate on what she was saying, but she couldn't help noticing when Edward straightened up and spun around, tracking her movements like a hawk. She felt his eyes boring into her back as they crossed the room, stopping at yet another door.

"Now _this_..." Rosalie paused for dramatic effect as she opened the door. "This has been my favorite room since I first came home with Emmett to visit." She started down yet _another_ set of stairs into what had to be the basement. At the bottom, there was simply a small area with a nice washer/dryer set and a folding table set up next to a drying rack.

"The laundry room?" Bella said, unable to hide the disbelief in her voice.

"No silly, through here." She opened a door to the left that Bella just assumed was for storage, and when they both walked through it she could barely keep her mouth from hanging open in shock.

It was an enormous rec room that spanned the entire length of the house, complete with a pool table, an air hockey table, a pinball machine, and three full sized arcade games. There was an area set up for watching movies, along with about three different gaming systems.

"Oh my God!" Bella said, feeling almost lightheaded as she took it all in. "I thought they played video games upstairs. Why would they bother when this is down here?"

"Well, that's just for killing time. This room... this is for getting serious. When we hang down here, we could be missing for _days_. That's why the kids lucked out and inherited the room from Carlisle; Esme got tired of him never leaving his man cave."

"This is _Dr. Cullen's_?"

"It was, but he would spend long hours at the hospital and then every waking hour down here when he was home. Esme can only handle so much air hockey before she starts yelling. Once the kids hit high school she convinced him to hand it over, thus sky-rocketing them into super-stardom for the best parties practically overnight."

"Wow... I just... I could never imagine having this kind of stuff at my disposal growing up."

"Yeah, it's a lot to take in at first. When I first met Emmett I was so worried that his family was going to be a bunch of stuffy rich pricks, but they sooo aren't!"

"I know, they are so sweet," Bella agreed, turning to look at her hostess. "You _all_ are."

Rosalie blushed slightly before socking her on the arm. "Hey, don't get all mushy on me, Swan. I am fully prepared to beat your ass at any game here."

"Oh, bring it!" Bella laughed, and it was the best she'd felt all day. "I haven't played air hockey since college, but I'm sure I remember enough to send you home crying."

The gleam that ignited in Rose's eyes at Bella's words was almost scary. "Oh, it is fucking on!" She started to walk across the room towards the machine in question, only to be interrupted by Emmett's voice at the top of the stairs.

"_Baby_!" he called down, making them both jump.

"What?" she yelled back, rolling her eyes in annoyance.

"What's the best container for all of this lasagna?"

"Jesus, Emmett, ask your mother!"

"I can't. Alice said she fell asleep on the couch."

"Then ask Alice!" she huffed.

"Are you fucking kidding me? I want to _store_ leftovers, not give them a makeover."

"Ugh, fine!" she snapped before turning back to Bella. "I'm sorry, I better get up there before he finds a way to blow the kitchen up. I'll be right back."

"Of course, take your time," Bella said, still laughing at their exchange.

"OK, feel free to check out anything you like while I'm gone. They're all rigged to play for free, so you don't need any quarters." She disappeared through the door, and the sound of loud stomping on the stairs could be heard after that.

Bella made her way over to the pinball machine, laughing when she noticed that it had a cheesy, dated vampire theme. There was a large black coffin inside that looked as if it popped open to let the ball drop down into it for extra points, as well as little bats that lit up when they were hit. She'd always loved playing pinball on the few occasions when her mother would let her go to the arcade while they were shopping at the mall, so she eagerly stepped up and started a game.

The moment she heard the dinging bells and saw the flashing lights, Bella was transported back to her childhood, a time when things were so much simpler. She didn't have to care about things like broken hearts and responsibility, she only had to be a kid and have fun. Granted, that didn't last very long, since her mother had turned into a bigger kid than she'd ever been, but it still made for fun memories.

A few minutes into her game, she heard light footsteps descending the stairs behind her. Without looking back, she called out to Rosalie, "Man, I hope you brought your A-game today. I am on fire!"

"And I hope _you_ can explain yourself," a deep, velvety voice said from right behind her, causing her to jump nearly a foot off the ground before spinning around, clutching her chest to keep her pounding heart from bursting through it.

"God dammit!" she gasped. "Was that absolutely necessary?" She avoided making eye contact with him by looking over his shoulder, afraid of being swayed by his unearthly beauty.

"I don't know, was it absolutely necessary to show up at my fucking _house_ with my fucking _family_?" The venom that fueled his words finally made her cave and look at him, not understanding why so much anger was directed towards her.

"_Excuse_ me? What the hell is that supposed to mean? You act like I planned this whole embarrassing evening!"

"I don't know, did you?" Suddenly so furious that she couldn't even think straight, Bella raised her hand to slap him, only to have him catch it in mid-air. "I don't think so, princess," he growled, pinning her back against the pinball machine with his body. "You already got away with that once. Do it again and I slap you back."

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Do _not_ fucking push me tonight. I really don't know what I'm capable of." His gaze dropped to her lips quickly before shooting back up to her eyes. "Now... explain yourself."

"Why are you so angry with me?" Bella whispered, trying hard to focus on anything but how good and solid his body felt against hers.

"How would you feel if your dad rolled up one night for dinner with me sitting in the police cruiser next to him? Wouldn't that make you feel just the tiniest bit out of it?"

"Of course it would, but you can't possibly think that I planned this?"

"I don't know _what_ the fuck to think anymore!" he snarled, now only inches from her face. "I spent half of dinner waiting for Ashton Kutcher to pop out and tell me I was punk'd."

"Oh, stop being ridiculous! I had no way of knowing that was your family. I met Rose at work, and _she's_ the one who wanted me to hang out with them. Last night was the first time we ever went out, and if you'll remember, I left early to find _you_!"

"That may be so, but I don't like this one fucking bit." Edward looked down at her again, letting his eyes roam more freely. "I don't want you hanging out with them any more."

"Well, that's not your decision to make now, is it? They're my friends, and I like them!"

"I can't handle it!" he growled again, forcing himself even closer.

"Just what is it that you can't handle? That your dirty little fuck secret is around to rub your nose in the fact that you aren't exactly a grieving widower like they all think?"

"That is _none_ of your fucking business!" he hissed through his teeth, grabbing her by the arms roughly. "And that's not what I can't handle!"

"Edward, stop! You're hurting me!"

He froze, easing his grip but not letting go. "Say that again." It was a harsh whisper, like a dying man in the desert begging for water.

"You're hurting me?" she asked, not understanding what he wanted.

"No."

"Edward?"

With a loud groan he pulled her to him, crashing his mouth down on hers. His hands were everywhere at once, roaming over her body before settling in her hair, holding her head in place while he ravaged her lips with his own. He reached down and grabbed her ass, gripping it tightly before lifting her up and setting her on the pinball machine, wrapping her legs around his waist.

Bella could feel him, hard and pulsing against her wet heat. She wanted to stay angry … she wanted to yell … but none of that could top how much she wanted him inside her at that moment.

He kissed his way down her neck, licking and biting as he ground himself against her. "I can't handle... how much I need you," he panted against her skin. "It's too much," he moaned. "It's all too much! I can't take wanting you like this in front of them, too!"

"Shh..." Bella whispered soothingly, running her fingers through his hair. "Don't think about that right now. We'll sort it out somehow. Just... just fucking kiss me!"

He complied happily, sucking her bottom lip between his teeth before flicking the tip of his tongue against her mouth, probing for entrance. She opened hungrily, swirling her tongue with his, tasting his need. Edward shoved his hand in her hair again, holding her to him tightly, while letting his other hand cup her bottom so that he could pull her into his thrusts while he swallowed her moans.

They heard her voice before the sound of her feet on the stairs. "Emmett, just figure it out! I helped you with over half of it. You and Jasper are big boys, I'm sure you can finish the rest. Now hurry up and get down here so you can watch me kick Bella's ass."

They both froze, staring at each other in a moment of panic. Looking down at the tangled mess they were in, they jumped apart quickly, but not before Edward whispered in her ear.

"To be continued."

Edward ran over to the other side of the room and started up the Playstation while Bella resumed her pinball game. They both did their best to steady their breathing, and Edward was grateful that he could sit down to hide his blatant arousal.

"OK, Bella, sorry about that," Rose apologized as she walked in the room, stopping in her tracks when she noticed there was someone else with them. "Oh, Edward... I didn't know you were down here. I thought you snuck out and went home."

"No, thought I'd play a few rounds before I took off."

She looked back and forth between them for what felt like an eternity. Bella was positive that she was doing a mental checklist of everything about them that was disheveled, but she simply shrugged and walked over to the air hockey table, turning it on.

"So Bella, are you ready to feel the pain?"

"Uh... absolutely." She tried her hardest to sound excited, hoping that it didn't come off as awkward as it felt.

For the next two hours, Bella was subjected to numerous competitions. Once Emmett, Jasper and Alice finally joined them it became all-out war. They played pool, darts, Donkey Kong, Rampage... just about anything they could turn into a battle. There were one on one bouts, as well as team matches, and they even whined enough until Edward agreed to play a few with them.

Aside from the initial awkwardness of almost being caught grinding their brother on a pinball machine, it was the happiest two hours of Bella's life.

When she noticed Edward was beginning to signal her when the others weren't looking, she shrugged her shoulders, not knowing what he wanted. He nodded towards the clock on the wall and raised his eyebrows at her, willing her to understand.

"Oh! Is that the time? I really need to get going, guys. I'm sorry." It was a horrible performance, but probably the best of Bella's life.

"Aw, really?" Emmett whined. "I wanted a rematch!"

"Next time, I promise."

"I should probably get going, too," Edward piped up as Bella headed to the door. They all said their goodbyes, everyone hugging Bella tightly before releasing her.

"We'll walk you out," Rosalie said, dragging Emmett along with her behind them.

"Oh, you don't need to do that. I can find my way."

"Nonsense. You're my guest, and I insist."

They made their way up through the kitchen and out the front door, saying their goodbyes to Carlisle as they passed, asking him to thank Esme once she woke up. When they reached the front steps, Bella thanked them again profusely for inviting her, hugging them both one more time. Edward kept walking, barely acknowledging any of them with only the slightest of nods as he got in his car.

"I'm gonna call you about that weekend in Seattle," Rosalie called after Bella as she walked to her truck. "Don't think I'll forget."

"Good, I can't wait. I think it sounds like fun." She gave them a final wave before hopping in her truck, following Edward out of the driveway.

Rosalie stood with her hand behind Emmett's back and her head on his shoulder, both of them watching as the vehicles traveled farther away from the house.

"So," she sighed, "Do you think they're even going to bother taking different directions, or just race each other straight to his place to fuck?"

"Oh, definitely race," Emmett chuckled, stroking her arm lovingly before kissing the top of her head.

xxx

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So?

PS: LTIF won the Golden Lemon for Best Oral Sex scene! Thank you SO MUCH to all of you who took the time to nominate and vote, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it!


	19. Corrupt

OK, this took longer due to a death in the family last weekend. My hubs' grandma passed away, and we had a lot of things to do to help with the funeral. Hope it was worth the wait. This chapter made me a little emo in many places, I hope you like it.

**Disclaimer: Stephenie owns it all, but this would give her nightmares. Dirty, dirty, naughty sex nightmares. **

* * *

_I could corrupt you_

_It would be easy_

_Watching you suffer_

_Girl, it would please me_

_But I wouldn't touch you_

_With my little finger_

_I know it would crush you_

_My memory would linger_

_You'd be crying out in pain_

_Begging me to play my games_

"_Corrupt" ~ Depeche Mode_

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"What the hell was all of that about?" Bella barked at him as she slammed her heavy truck door after pulling up next to his car in the lot behind the apartment building.

"Inside," was all he said, not even looking back at her as he crossed the alley to the dimly lit door. When he reached it he held it open wide for her, turning to face her with an exaggerated, sarcastic bow. "After you, my dear."

"Very cute," she mumbled under her breath as she passed him, unable to decide whether to slap him or kiss him. The moment he followed and closed the door behind them, she spun around and faced him. "OK, spill it. Why the hell were you so shitty to me at dinner? In front of everyone!"

He took a deep breath before gritting through his teeth, "I said... _inside_."

"We _are_ inside."

"No, we are at the foot of a very dark stairway. I want to get upstairs behind locked doors if you insist on continuing this discussion."

"No, you just want to lock out the real world again. It's not going to be that easy now."

"God dammit!" he growled, grabbing her by the arms and shoving her up against the wall, pressing himself against her until their noses were almost touching, his toned chest and firm legs warring with his words for her attention.

"Don't you think I fucking _know_ that?" he said, his sweet breath flowing over her lips. "My entire life has just been turned upside down! Cut me just the tiniest bit of slack. I'm so fucking torn apart right now; I don't know whether to scream at you for screwing up everything perfect that we had going or rip your clothes off and fuck you where you stand!"

"_I_ screwed it up?" she snapped, trying to ignore the feeling of his muscular thigh sliding between hers, pinning her more thoroughly to the wall. "How the hell was I supposed to know that was your family? I have exactly _zero_ friends in this town! Maybe I should blame you for fucking up the first invitation I've ever had to a dinner that I didn't fucking cook."

"Do you think I don't know how crazy I sound? None of this makes any sense to me, my reactions most of all!"

"Well, you need to at least _try_ to think before you speak. I didn't screw anything up about us that wouldn't have gotten screwed up eventually, and believe me, it was _not_ perfect. It was bound to fall apart, we always knew that. We just didn't know how."

"But I'm not ready for that!" he hissed before taking a deep breath and calming himself. When he spoke again it was almost a tortured whisper. "I still need this." He ran the tip of his nose against her cheek, back and forth, until he was next to her ear. He couldn't look her in the eye when he choked out his next words."I still need _you_."

Bella's heart soared at his admission. "You still have me. You just know my name now."

He groaned and buried his face against her neck, kissing the tender skin of her throat lightly before flicking it with his tongue. "Bella," he whispered, and he could feel her soft moan vibrate beneath his lips. He felt her hands sliding up between their bodies until she was gripping the back of his head. What he heard next was only a muted gasp in the dark, but it was enough to set his soul on fire.

"_Edward._"

Angels couldn't have sounded so sweet.

His mouth covered hers quickly, inhaling the rest of her moans and gasps. He was painfully hard, and couldn't resist shifting his hips so that she could feel what she had done to him. When he felt her starting to rub herself back against him he groaned even louder and slipped his tongue between her lips, flicking at the tip of hers before swirling his own around it.

Before long, his hands had gone from gripping her shoulders to groping her breasts through her shirt. He felt as her nipples hardened into tight peaks in his palms, and when that wasn't enough contact he started rubbing them more firmly with the pads of his thumbs.

The only sounds that could be heard in the dark stairwell for some time after that were a series of grunts and gasps as the two lovers ground themselves against each other. Bella had completely forgotten everything she had been angry about, only wanting to feel more of him. More of Edward. _More_.

It wasn't until he hooked his arms around her knees and lifted her up against the wall that she remembered where they were. The sound of her loud moan echoing in the narrow entryway reminded her all too quickly that they were in a stairwell. A dark, dirty stairwell.

"Wait," she was somehow able to murmur between kisses. "Edward... wait!"

"God, yes!" he growled into her mouth, thrusting her harder into the wall. "Say it again!" He couldn't hear anything but the sound of his name leaving her lips.

"No... _wait_!" Finally her voice broke through his lust-induced stupor, but only after she gave a good tug on his hair for emphasis.

"What's wrong?" His face was completely baffled, as if dry humping against the wall of a creepy stairwell was nothing out of the ordinary.

"We need to get upstairs. _Now_."

"Oh. Is that all?" He smirked wickedly at her before grabbing her ass tightly and holding her to him as he turned around and started up the stairs. "Ask and you shall receive, my lovely."

Bella squealed and wrapped her legs around him tightly. "Oh god! Don't drop me!"

"Baby, if you keep wiggling against my dick like that, I'm going to toss you down right here on the stairs." She immediately stopped moving, anxious to get up into the apartment. "That's what I thought," he teased. He was also very eager to get her inside, hoping to make her squeal like that again... but for very different reasons.

Not wanting to set her down until he was poised to thrust inside her body, Edward pinned her up against the wall by the door as he fished his key out of his pocket, which pressed his body even more firmly into her and made her cry out with the ache he was creating. She couldn't stop herself from grinding back into him and leaning forward, biting his neck to stifle her scream. Well, that and the fact that she wanted to bite every inch of his naked skin; his neck was just the first exposed area she could reach.

"Fuck!" he snarled, shoving the door open finally and kicking it closed behind them, spinning around quickly to slam her against it. "Did you just fucking _bite_ me?" He didn't think he'd ever been so turned on in his life.

In answer, she simply grunted and bit him again on the other side, well past the point of words. Dragging her tongue up the side of his neck, she sucked his earlobe between her lips before clamping her teeth down and biting that, too.

The guttural moan that ripped from his throat startled both of them.

Grabbing her roughly, he kissed her so hard it was almost painful, his need for her eclipsing any other thought in his mind. He turned and walked with her, stumbling into the bedroom and kneeling on the mattress, silently cursing himself for never buying any more furniture. He would have given anything to just fuck her on a couch or a chair in the heat of the moment, rather than always needing to go into the bedroom or risk her discomfort on the hardwood floors.

Dropping her on the mattress, he immediately went to work on the zipper of her jeans, needing to be inside her body more than anything else in the entire world at that moment. He knew it would not be sweet. He knew it would not be slow. He was consumed with a driving urge to claim, to conquer. Nothing else would be right in the world until he felt himself pumping his hot seed deep inside her as she shattered around him.

By the frantic way that she tore at his clothing, she apparently agreed.

When she was finally nude, he leaned back on his knees long enough to rip his shirt over his head and unbutton his jeans, stopping only briefly to gaze at her porcelain skin in the darkness. Just the sight of her underneath him again made his body quake with need. He pushed his jeans down over his hips, barely enough to free his throbbing erection, before he fell on her with a loud growl.

"_Fuck_, I need you. I need you so bad!" he moaned into her breasts as he licked and sucked them, lining himself up at her entrance quickly before driving into her in one swift thrust. Her scorching wet heat engulfed him, stretching to accommodate his girth as he moved in her. They both cried out at the contact, her inner walls gripping him tightly.

He paused long enough to catch her gaze in the dark. "Say it."

She wrapped her arms around his waist, grasping his firm ass and pulling him deeply inside her. "_Edward_," she gasped as she thrust up to meet him.

"_Yes_!"he snarled loudly, completely overcome with the primal feeling of claiming her. Something about hearing her say his name while he was finally buried deep inside her body set him off like nothing had before in his entire life. "_More_!" he growled, shoving himself in her to the hilt, over and over again, kissing and sucking her tender skin everywhere he could reach, unable to touch her in enough places at once to satisfy himself.

She kept a firm grip on his toned cheeks, digging her nails in at one point so hard that it hurt, pulling him inside her eagerly, deeper and deeper. "_Edward_," she would cry out with every thrust, feeling him hit places inside of her that she didn't even know she had. "_Edward_ … _Edward_ … _Edward_ … _Edward_!"

His growls and snarls grew louder and louder, and by that point he was damn near feral with his need to consume her. It wasn't enough. It would never be enough. "Who—" he panted, barely able to speak with the amount of need he felt, his powerful thrusts leaving him breathless. "Who is fucking you right now?"

"You are!" she cried. "_Edward_." Another hard thrust and grunt.

"Who do you belong to when you're here?" he gasped between more grunts and snarls.

"You … you … only you!" she panted, bucking her hips with even more force, pulling on him more roughly. "_Edward_!" His loud growl vibrated her skin before he bit her nipple, sucking it into his mouth afterwards to soothe it.

When he felt her inner muscles starting to clamp down on him, he knew that they were both close. "Who is going to make you come so hard you see stars? Whose pussy is this?" He slid his hand between their bodies and began stroking her, rubbing her swollen clitoris in tight circles as if to prove his point.

"_Edward_!" she screamed, her body poised on the brink of explosion.

"And who is so fucking crazy about you that he can't think straight?"

"Oh god... _Edward!_" She wasn't even answering him that time; just the thought of him feeling something similar for her sent her flying over the edge, screaming her release. Her entire body began bucking wildly, milking him dry as he followed her into the abyss.

"Yes! _Bella_!" he roared, exploding so powerfully inside her that he thought for a moment he might pass out. Thick ropes of fluid filled her as he pumped his hips frantically, desperate to leave every drop behind.

After what felt like hours but was most likely only a few minutes, Edward rolled off of her and collapsed at her side. Not wanting to let her go, he pulled her close to him, settling her on his chest with her head resting on his shoulder.

"Wow," she sighed deeply, snuggling into him more completely, loving how warm his skin was underneath her.

"I think _wow_ is an understatement," he chuckled, stroking her back lightly. "I would have said something along the lines of... _holy fuck sonofabitch_. To put it mildly."

"Well said."

They laid there together in the dark for a while, simply existing, enjoying the feeling of being so close to each other. He had almost drifted off to sleep when he heard a quiet whisper next to him.

"Edward?"

"Mm?" It was still so odd to hear her say his name so easily, and he was ashamed to feel his cock twitching in response again.

"You know we still have to talk, right? Don't think you distracted me that much."

"Ugh... dammit," he sighed. "And here I thought I was getting away with it." He ran his fingers through his hair, leaving it sticking up in many different directions. "What, exactly, do we still need to talk about?"

"Well, how about the entire evening, for starters?" she said, propping her forearms on his chest to look him in the eye.

"What about it?" he asked, stalling.

"Like I asked you earlier, why were you so shitty to me? Couldn't you tell that I was just as freaked out as you were? At least you were on familiar territory; I was surrounded by a bunch of people I barely know in a place I'd never been."

"I know. I have no idea what came over me. It was all just so damn intense, and I felt like I was going to fall apart at any moment. I totally wigged out." He stroked his hand through her hair, running his thumb across her bottom lip when he finished. "I'm sorry. I think I just wanted someone to feel as freaked out as I did, and I lashed out."

"So what set you off so bad? Just that I was there? I was too busy freaking out that you were related to Rose."

"Well... _everything_!" he sighed. "Yes, I was totally thrown that you were there and that was how I had to 'meet' you, but then... seeing you with them like that? I mean, you know my entire family! They all love you! They want to have you over for _sleepovers_, for fuck's sake... and I didn't even know your name. It was more than a tiny bit overwhelming."

"Why does it bother you so much that they like me?"

"I told you, I'm not ready to share you with them." He swallowed hard, trying to find the best way to say what he was feeling without putting his foot in his mouth again. After another loud sigh he continued. "I don't know if I'll ever be ready, honestly. You're fucking _engaged_... and my wife just died! I don't particularly like them acting as if they're about to pick out our china patterns already."

"I hardly think that's what they were doing. You're just being paranoid."

"Bullshit, I know my family. That was a setup. They might as well have posted a sign above the door that said _New Wife Interviews Inside._"

"Oh, whatever," she rolled her eyes, trying to ignore how much the word _wife_ affected her, and then she remembered something she'd heard earlier. "Well... Rose _did_ say that she'd thought about trying to set us up before she knew I wasn't available."

"She _knew_ you were engaged?" he said, his eyes going wide.

"Yeah, so I wonder why she would think... hmm. Maybe it was because I told her I was going to end it. She must have hoped I'd be so moved by her beautiful brother-in-law that everything else would go out the window. Ha! Little did she know that I was already fucking him!"

She laughed lightly, finding the irony of the situation way too funny. It wasn't until she looked back up at him that she realized something she'd said had upset him. There was a grave look on his face, and his jaw was clenched.

"What's wrong?"

He didn't speak for a moment, and the silence in the room was deafening. When he finally opened his mouth, it was to speak through gritted teeth. "You told her _what_?"

_Oh shit._

"I just said that out loud, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did."

"I meant to tell you last night. That's why I was looking for you... but then we got in your car and I just sort of lost control."

"Don't try to distract me with car sex talk," he snapped. "You're _ending_ it?"

"Yes," she said on an exhale, ending with a sharp nod, as if she were only now making up her mind. "I just haven't had the chance to yet; he's still out of town."

"When is he coming back?" He felt a pain in his gut even mentioning him.

"I'm not sure. Soon, I think."

"I hope you're not doing that for me. I never told you to." His delivery was as abrupt as a slap to the face.

"No, actually," she replied, trying to ignore the sting that his words left. "It's just become obvious to me that I'm not happy with him anymore... if I ever was."

"Are you sure you want to do that?" he pried.

"Excuse me? Is this the same man who is so jealous of him he can't stand to see the ring?" She tried very hard not to sound pissy, but his odd reaction to her news was a little bit less than what she'd been hoping for. No, she wasn't only ending it with Jacob for him, but would a little bit of jumping up and down and professing undying love be too much to ask for?

"Wait, Bella... hear me out." He put his hand on top of hers on his chest, stroking it lightly with his warm fingers. "I'm not saying don't... I just don't want you to regret something later that you didn't think through all the way first. This has all happened so fast, and today certainly just sped things up way more than _I'm_ comfortable with, I don't know about you."

"Your family doesn't need to affect this. Today was an odd day that nobody could have predicted. I'm not asking you to do anything drastic just because they like me." _Although it would be nice... just sayin'._

He thought for a moment before finally speaking carefully, trying to make her understand. "I'm trying to not let anyone force my choices but _me_ for the first time in my life... and I think you should do the same. I know what we have here is... intense... and _addictive_... but is it worth throwing your life away?"

_Yes. _She didn't say it out loud, but she felt it to her very core.

"I mean, are you absolutely positive that you don't love him anymore? That you can hurt him like that? That you aren't just going through some sort of sexual... awakening... or experimentation here? Can you honestly say that you can't work it out with him and make it better?" It hurt him so much to even think these questions, but he had no idea if they had even crossed her mind. If she did something based solely on emotions without thinking it through, she could end up hating herself for it one day... _and_ him.

"You think all of that hasn't been going through my mind for a while now?" she said, blinking back tears. "I realized recently that I've never loved him the way that I should. Never. I _do_ love him... a lot, but more like a friend or a brother. He's got his problems, but he's a very sweet man underneath it all. I think it's _more_ hurtful to him to keep that charade going, don't you? He deserves the chance to find someone who can love him with her whole heart." _The way that I love you._

"Alright." Edward stopped pushing, cringing inside at any mention of her history with _him_, but he couldn't stop himself from wondering how much of her 'revelation' was fueled by their illicit activities. "I only wanted to make sure that you knew what you were getting yourself into."

"Believe me, I've thought about it," she snapped. "And I've got to say, I really thought you would be a little bit happier about this. You can't stand to hear about him, you never want me to leave... I'm sorry but those are some extremely mixed signals from what I'm hearing right now."

"I _don't_ like hearing about him. I fucking hate it! But that's _me_, not you. I know what it's like to make a horrible decision without giving it enough thought, and I nearly signed my life away on a stupid whim. I don't want the same for you, _especially_ if I'm that stupid whim."

"Are you talking about your marriage?" she asked, wiping her eyes quickly and giving him a serious look. "I totally forgot... your _wife_ just died, right? Can you talk about it?"

"I _can_," he growled, "but I don't particularly like to."

"Is it too painful? I understand that it was recent." She hated the thought of him hurting. She wanted to wipe away any ounce of pain that he'd ever felt in his life.

"Well, honestly... the entire marriage was painful, and I don't know if I really want to go into it all right now. Let me just say that we weren't exactly a match made in heaven, and as sad as I am that she is no longer living... I can't say that she is missed." He looked at her for any sign of judgment, but only saw patience and understanding. It made him want to continue, just to make her see that he wasn't completely heartless. "We had been on the outs for a long time. I had been in the process of ending it when she killed herself." His expression clouded over as he was struck with a memory. "I had to go to the motel where she did it... so much fucking _blood_."

"Oh my god!" she gasped, scooting closer so that she could cup his cheeks in her hands. "Edward, I am so sorry. Nobody should have to witness something like that. Obviously she was very unstable, but it wasn't fair of her to do that to you... to put so much on you like that. Some people just can't see past their own problems. God, I hurt so much for you right now." She leaned forward and kissed him gently, his lips, his nose, even his eyelids.

It was the most cherished he had ever felt in his entire life... and he had no idea what to think about that.

He laid there in silence, running his hands along her back in soft patterns for a few minutes before pulling her the rest of the way on top of him. "I don't want to talk about this anymore," he whispered, enjoying the way her body easily molded to him as she straddled his waist.

"You don't have to," she said between more light kisses on his chin. "Let me make you feel better, baby." She kissed him again and again, moving all over his face as she began shifting her hips against him, trying to feel how ready he was. She was pleased to find that he had already begun to grow hard between them, so she decided to expedite matters a bit. Leaning forward, she flicked her tongue up the side of his neck, biting and sucking his earlobe before whispering, "_Edward_."

_Mmm... Why hello, Zoolander. I think I just found Blue Steel. _

"Ungh... fuck!" he groaned, grabbing her hips and pulling her down on him more firmly. She continued shifting and wiggling against him, working until his erection was pinned between them, sliding her wet folds back and forth over the bottom side of his shaft. "Fuck, that feels good," he panted, starting to lift his hips up towards her.

When she felt him trying to pull back enough to change his angle so that he could penetrate her, she lifted off of him slightly. "Ah ah ah," she scolded, holding herself just above him. "I'm running this show now."

"Oh god," he practically whimpered. "Don't fucking tease me... I can't take it. I _need_ to be inside you!" He pulled down on her hips for emphasis, trying to get her where he needed her to be.

"I told you... _Edward_ … I'm going to make you feel better." She smiled wickedly at the loud moan he let out when she said his name again. "However, I think I'm going to make you a little crazy first." He grunted and jerked his hips upwards again, trying in vain to enter her. "Now be good, or I'm going to make you squirm even longer."

He laid perfectly still beneath her on the mattress, trying his hardest to obey, but the longer she kept it from him, the more insanely he wanted it. It didn't help that she began to fondle and caress her breasts above him, moving and gyrating her hips over him in the most sinful display he'd ever seen. He knew it would only take one well-placed thrust to shove himself inside her to the hilt, and the thought of that was killing him slowly, but he loved that she was being playful with him; he didn't want to ruin her fun just yet.

However, if she kept it up much longer, he wouldn't be responsible for what he did.

"Now don't you _dare_ move," she commanded, circling herself over him until the broad tip of his cock was lined up perfectly with her dripping entrance. With the tiniest shift of her hips, he slipped inside, but only the tip. The need to thrust was excruciating, setting his entire body on fire. He could feel her scorching heat surrounding him, but it was all centered at the one area of his body.

"_Please_," he gritted through his teeth, his veins standing out on his neck with his restraint.

"Not yet," she replied easily, as if they were talking about something as mundane as the weather. "But I like the begging. Let's have more of that." And with that she wiggled her hips a bit more, slipping down about another inch on his length before pulling back up.

"God dammit! _Please_!" he ground out again, sweat beads beginning to form on his brow.

"Please, what?" she said, reaching down to pinch his nipples roughly, causing him to hiss.

"Bella … please, _Bella_!"

"That's more like it," she smiled, allowing herself to drop another inch. "You aren't the only one who likes to hear their name." She rocked her hips on him then, sliding a bit more up and down. His loud groan was music to her ears. "Can you feel that?" she asked innocently, bracing her hands on his chest as she raised and lowered herself, never going farther than halfway down his shaft. "Can you feel me gripping you?" For an added effect, she clenched her inner muscles around him, causing his eyes to roll back in his head. "Can you feel my pussy dripping all over you?"

"_Fuck_!" he cried out. "Bella, _please_! I need to feel you... I need to be inside you. Now!"

"Don't get demanding," she snapped, and he would have thought she was completely unaffected if it weren't for her heavy panting. She was loving this. "I told you, _I'm_ running the show. Now tell me... whose cock is this?" She dipped lower on him quickly to point out the cock in question.

"Yours! It's yours," he grunted, and when she looked down at him with an arched eyebrow, he amended his answer. "_Bella's_! It belongs to Bella!"

"Whose pussy are you desperate for right now?" The up and down sliding never ceased, never going deeper, never stopping. He was going to come without ever being all the way inside her if she didn't change it up fast, and the thought of that made him want to cry.

"Oh god... _Bella's_!" Edward looked up at her, hoping to plead with his eyes, and was met with the most primal, animalistic gleam he had ever seen in his life. It took all of his energy not to explode right at that moment.

"And who is about to fuck you into next week?" she growled.

"Bella!" he gasped. "_My_ Bella." And with that she pulled all the way back, hovering for merely a second over him before slamming herself down on him to the hilt.

They both threw their heads back and howled, her from the unbelievably deep intrusion and him from the almost transcendent release from agony.

She rode him hard after that, each thrust slamming her down on him, gripping him tightly, pulling him inside her to oblivion. She grabbed his hands and shoved them on her breasts, holding them in place for leverage as he gripped and squeezed, loving the feel of her consuming him. Every single thrust brought him closer to the edge, and he couldn't stop from gasping her name every time she sank down again.

"_Yes_," she moaned, beginning to tremble around him. "_Edward_... God, yes!"

Just watching her face nearing her release was enough to set him off. "Oh fuck... baby... baby, I'm gonna come. I can't hold it back any more. Please... please come with me!" But by then it was too late, and he shattered into a million pieces, exploding violently inside her. "Oh god, _Bella_!"

And that was all it took for her. Feeling him spurting inside her while crying out her name sent her reeling into a release of her own, causing her body to clamp down hard while she shuddered above him.

It was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen in his life, and he hoped he would remember it forever.

They had another fairly sleepless night after that, Edward never letting her drift off completely. He would let her rest long enough to get her energy back, but then he would be right back again, rock hard and needy. He had been like a man possessed, even worse than the first time she'd stayed the night, licking and kissing every bare inch of her skin before driving himself into her over and over again. Sometimes he was slow and gentle, others he was hard and rough, but every time felt full of emotion.

Bella wanted to tell him to calm down, that they had all the time in the world to explore each other now, but there was something inside her that liked him craving her like a starving man on death row, devouring his last meal.

It wasn't until the soft lights of dawn were lighting the room that he finally let her collapse on his chest, half asleep before she closed her eyes. "Edward," she sighed, wrapping her arms around his sweaty torso. "I just want to be with you." And with that, she was out. If she'd only managed one last look up at his face, she would have seen the hot tears streaming down his cheeks.

"I love you, Bella," he croaked out, leaning forward to place a gentle kiss on the top of her head before wiping his eyes and allowing himself to fall asleep.

~/LTIF\~

After she'd managed to get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep, Bella woke feeling sore and wonderful. She grabbed a quick shower, not wanting to go home reeking of sex, which the entire room did, and leaned over Edward one more time to kiss her sleeping man goodbye.

"Mmm..." he moaned, rolling towards her. "Leaving so soon?" he spoke without opening his eyes.

"Don't wake up," she whispered. "You're so beautiful when you sleep." She kissed his cheek before standing up. "I have to go home for a while; I'm sure the laundry is a mile high. But I'll try to come back later, if I can get away."

"M'kay," he mumbled, starting to roll over, but the sound of her shoes on the floor as she walked away made him open his eyes. "Bella, wait!" he said, sitting straight up. She paused halfway across the front room and turned around to see the glorious sight of a completely naked Edward striding after her.

"What on earth are you doing?" she laughed. Not that she minded. No, not one little bit.

"I just... wanted a hug." His cheeks reddened slightly at his admission. "Um... In case you can't come back later, I didn't want your last memory of me today to be a lazy slug who can't say goodbye properly."

"Well there was nothing wrong with Sleeping Beauty, either," she chuckled, wrapping her arms around him tightly. "Although this one is definitely the better option." She slid her hand down and patted his ass, giving it a quick pinch before squeezing him in another hug.

"Goodbye, Bella," he whispered into her hair.

She loved this new affectionate side of him, but it startled her when he kept holding her when she tried to pull away. "Edward, I'll be back before you know it."

"I know, I know," he sighed, finally pulling away. "I just... don't want to let you go." He held her face with both hands as he slowly covered her mouth with his, giving her the sweetest kiss she'd ever felt in her entire life.

"Wow," she said on a sharp exhale. He had taken her breath away. "You really know how to make a girl not want to leave." She kissed him on the cheek before pulling away. "Now get your sexy ass back in bed or I'll never get out of here."

Closing the door on such a perfect vision was one of the hardest things she'd ever done, but it left her with the motivation to get back there as fast as possible.

~/LTIF\~

When she pulled into her driveway, she was surprised to find her father's police cruiser in the drive. Glancing at the clock on the dash, she saw that it was already after nine.

_Shit... looks like it's time for the walk of shame. _

"Where the hell ya been, Bells?" Charlie was perched at his usual chair in front of the TV, SportsCenter blaring in the background.

"Uh... I was out late at the Cullen's for dinner. I had a little too much wine, so they let me crash in one of the spare bedrooms." _Not bad for being put on the spot, if I do say so myself._ "I didn't realize how late it was, I meant to be home earlier."

"I was looking forward to one of your Sunday breakfasts," he grumbled. "I'm coming in off a double."

"I'm sorry, Dad. Did you want me to make you something now?"

"No, no. I grabbed something. I _can_ feed myself, believe it or not." He huffed again before looking at her. "I'm sorry I'm being a grouchy ass. It was just a really long night and I was hoping to spend some time with you this morning; I feel like I haven't seen you all week. Anyway, I've gotta go back in later tonight and I need to catch as much sleep as possible."

"Are you feeling OK, Dad? You're not letting them overwork you, are you?" As frustrating as Charlie could be at times, she still loved him and wanted to make sure he was staying healthy.

"Yeah, I'm good," he sighed, turning off the TV and getting up. "Just tired. Guess I better get to bed." He started to head for the stairs before stopping and turning back to her. "By the way, there's something in the kitchen for you." Bella followed his outstretched arm to where it pointed at the kitchen table. On it sat a vase with a few pink and white carnations. "Jake was here looking for you a while ago; I didn't know where to tell him you were. I think he left you a note."

_Oh shit!_

"The Cullens, huh?" he continued rambling behind her, but her gaze was locked on the flowers. "They're a nice family. Good friends to have. I'm glad you're finally meeting people, Bells. Well, anyway... off to bed. 'Night, hon."

"'Night, Dad," she said automatically, barely hearing him, never taking her eyes off the flowers.

She waited until she heard Charlie's door shut and slowly approached the vase as if it were highly explosive and she was on the bomb squad. Reaching her hand out carefully, she grabbed the folded up note that had been scribbled on the back of a gas station receipt in his clumsy scrawl.

_Hey babe. Sorry I missed you._

_Was tryin to surprise you, but Charlie said_

_you must have left early. I couldn't stay,_

_my dad is ridin my ass for bein gone so long._

_I'll try to catch you later._

_Hope you like the flowers._

Bella let out a breath that she didn't know she'd been holding. She was greatly relieved that he hadn't found out where she'd been, nobody deserved to find out like that, but now that he was home again she felt a deep sense of dread at the oncoming conversation she was going to have to have with him.

Walking into the other room and grabbing her phone, she pulled up his number and hit send. After a few rings his familiar voice answered.

"Hey, babe! Back home? Did you like the flowers?"

"Uh, yeah. They were pretty, thanks," she replied, feeling guilty that she couldn't even remember what they looked like.

"Yeah, I figured I kinda owed you a Valentine's present," he chuckled sheepishly.

"They were lovely, Jake. Listen... can you get away for a while? We really need to talk."

He groaned loudly, "Ugh, are you pissed at me, too? Dad hasn't laid off me since I walked in the door, keeps saying I abandoned him. I have a list of chores a mile long that he wants me to do for him today."

"No, I'm not pissed, but I really need to talk to you."

He sighed before speaking. "I can try to get out there later, but it might not be until tomorrow."

"That's fine," she huffed, telling herself that one more day wasn't going to kill her. "Just come tomorrow."

"Are you OK? Is everything alright? I can try harder if it's urgent."

"Yeah... just... just come tomorrow, OK?" She ended the call, feeling a mixture of relief and aggravation that she'd been given more time.

Doing her best to put it out of her mind so that the heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach would go away, Bella busied herself with things around the house. She did three loads of laundry, cleaned the bathroom, and packed Charlie an extra large lunch to try and make up for missing breakfast with him. When that was done, her lack of sleep started to become noticeable, so she decided to sprawl out on her bed for a while and give Wembley and Boober some sorely needed cuddle time with Mama.

It was after five when she heard the front door slam, signaling Charlie's departure for work. She looked around the room groggily, realizing that she must have fallen into a deeper sleep than the light nap she'd planned. Almost instantly, she was struck with the thought that she was finally alone again and free for the night.

Jumping up and running to her dresser, she changed her clothes quickly. Looking over the few items in her drawers, she thought to herself that perhaps a shopping trip to Seattle was just what she needed. Once she was ready to go, she threw some food out for the cats and ran to her truck.

She knew it was crazy to rush off to see him again so quickly, especially when she knew she should have fought harder to get Jake over there so she could end things officially, but she was well and truly addicted and would have done anything at that point to be with her Stranger— no, _Edward_ again.

She drove quickly across town, cutting through traffic as if her life depended on it. As soon as she was there she turned into the alley much faster than she should have and pulled into the parking lot. As she got out and ran across the alley she noticed that the Volvo wasn't there, but since he knew she might be coming back tonight she figured that he wouldn't be gone long.

Smiling at the thought of using her key again, she pulled it out of her pocket as she ran up the stairs, thinking of different naughty ways that she might wait for him. When she reached the top she eagerly unlocked the door, more than excited to spend more time in his warm embrace.

But when she opened the door wide with a smile on her face... it was only to find an empty apartment.

Completely empty.

It was all gone. Everything.

The easel. His canvases. Even the few drinking glasses he'd had in the kitchen and the one towel he'd had hanging on the rack.

She walked around like a zombie, not believing what she was seeing. There was no note. No sign of his existence.

She finally made her way into the bedroom, afraid to look.

The mattress was gone, too.

Bella collapsed right there on the floor where the mattress had been, choking on the sobs as they stuck in her throat, her vision becoming one messy blur as they filled with rivers of tears.

xxx

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* * *

sniff, sniff.

OK, don't flame me, because I'm crying, too. Just remember, this was always coming, it's right where it was meant to happen, and don't act TOO shocked, because this is EDWARD we are talking about. Just trust me that the angst & heartfail won't last too long and I'm a firm believer in HEA. That's all I'm going to say about it.


	20. Stupid

OK, here we are again. I'm glad to see that you are still with me, peeps!

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer birthed the original plot bunnies that led to us lusting after these characters and wanting to make them do all sorts of crazy things. I'm only kidnapping them for a while. **

* * *

_Love has made me a fool_

_It set me on fire and watched as I floundered_

_Unable to speak_

_Except to cry out and wait for your answer_

_But you come around in your time_

_Speaking of fabulous places, create an oasis_

_Dries up as soon as you're gone_

_You leave me here burning_

_In this desert without you_

_How stupid could I be?_

_A simpleton could see_

_That you're no good for me_

_But you're the only one I see_

"_Stupid" ~ Sarah McLachlan_

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Bella had no idea what time it was.

She had been lying there on that floor for the better part of the evening, barely noticing when the light began to dim through the windows. Her eyes were swollen and red, completely drained of any moisture they'd once held, and her top lip was puffy and sore from being contorted into various shapes as she'd wailed out her heartbreak.

He was gone.

Her beautiful Edward had left, taking everything with him, including her heart.

When she was finally able to process any other thought than that, she thought back to their goodbye that morning and wanted to smack herself for not seeing the signs. He had been so insatiable, so clingy. It had been his body's way of letting her go.

That thought only set off another round of dry sobs, causing her to clutch her chest at the pain of knowing he would never be in her arms again. Her entire body felt sore and raw, and in the back of her mind she wondered how long she could curl up there before someone came looking for her.

Suddenly an obnoxious noise broke through her lament, and after a few moments of looking around around the room hopefully, she realized that it was coming from her pocket... and she recognized the ringtone. Fishing it out quickly and sitting up in the dark room, she lifted it to her ear and answered.

"Hello?" she croaked.

"Whoa, babe, did I wake you up?" Jake's voice chuckled on the other end.

"No," she replied gruffly, "why?"

"You sound like hell, that's why. Is something wrong?"

"No... I just... think I might be coming down with a cold or something," she lied quickly, coughing a few times to clear her throat. "What did you need?"

"Oh, well, I was finally able to get some free time tonight. Dad fell asleep earlier than I thought he would, so he's not in my face barking anymore." Which they both knew meant that Billy Black had passed out exceptionally early that night. "Did you still want me to come over?"

Bella glanced around the dark room and was hit with a fresh wave of panic. Panic that her horrible crying jag was going to be the last memory she ever had of this wonderful, crappy old room. In that instant her trampled emotions took over and shoved Sensible Bella right out the window.

"Actually, yes," she said with an eerie calmness in her voice. "But I'm not at home. Can you meet me somewhere?"

~/LTIF\~

Less than twenty minutes later, Bella could hear Jake's hulking form stomping up the long stairway. He had been puzzled at her request, but agreed quickly enough, which she suspected was driven by his guilt over being away for so long. In the meantime, she had turned on every overhead light in the apartment, grateful that the power hadn't already been turned off.

As she waited, her traitorous thoughts kept telling her that what she was doing was wrong on more levels than she could count, but then her emotions would smack them back in their place and take over again. Jake was sensible. Jake was dependable... at least he used to be. Jake would never leave her without ever looking back. Jake wanted to marry her.

Jake was quite possibly the best offer that she would ever get.

_You fucking chickenshit. This isn't fair to either of you, and he deserves better. _

She could be better, she told herself. She could refocus her attention and be more enthusiastic. She could be the woman he deserved.

_And you will be miserable. And living a lie. _

"Bells?" he called out when he was halfway up the stairs.

"In here!" she yelled back, glancing at herself in the mirror one last time before heading into the front room, thankful that the cold water she'd splashed on her face had helped with the swelling. Before she could reach the door, it swung open wide and she was once again face to face with the man she had promised to spend the rest of her life with.

"Hey, babe," he smiled, crossing the room in three long steps and scooping her up in one of his enormous bear hugs. "Mm... you smell good. God, I missed you."

_That's because I foolishly showered off every remaining trace of his scent. Now I will never smell him deep in my skin again. I'll never be able to curl into his pillow again and fall asleep while I breathe him into me. _

"Um... thanks," she forced a tight smile as he put her down, shoving her rogue thoughts back into the dark corners of her mind before they made her cry again.

"OK," he sighed at her tone. "Let me have it. You're pissed at me, too, aren't you?"

"Huh? Oh, no. Honestly, I'm not." _I barely remembered you existed while you were gone._

"Well, pissed or not, I _am_ sorry that I was gone so long." He reached up and stroked the back of his fingers down her cheek. It was a gesture that she used to find endearing, but now it only made Bella want to jump away. His fingers weren't the right fingers.

"I believe you," she smiled stiffly.

"I don't have any excuse, really," he admitted, a slight blush tinting his cheeks. "It just felt so damn good to be of use at that shop. Does that make any sense?" He looked at her quickly for confirmation before continuing. "Those were some great guys, Bells. I mean, I really like Sam and the gang, but there just isn't enough work here to keep us all busy, ya know? I really felt in my element there." He thought for a minute before adding, "They seemed really sorry to see me go. It was... nice, I guess. First time I felt like a real mechanic."

"That's great, Jake," she smiled again, and it was her first genuine smile of the night. She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen him that excited about anything, including her.

"So, what did you drag me up here for?" he finally asked, glancing around after the room grew quiet.

"Well..." Bella took a deep breath. "I just found out that this place became available again."

"Available for what?" he sneered, taking in the rundown surroundings. "Demolition?"

"It's not _that_ bad," she said, fidgeting nervously. "The right furniture could really make this a cute place, don't you think?"

"I don't know if I could ever picture _cute_ here, sorry."

"You're not really trying. See, a little loveseat over there... and maybe a small dining set in this nook over here." She walked around, trying her hardest to superimpose what she was describing over the vivid memories that lived in every corner of the room. Quick flashes shot through her mind as she pointed out each new place that needed to be redecorated: Edward, shirtless and painting … Edward, rolling around on the floor with her after smearing her body full of colors … Edward, preparing her body lovingly with a stick of butter.

"Eh..." he shrugged. "It still looks like a dump to me."

"Jake!" she huffed.

"What do you want me to say, Bella? I'm sorry, but I think this place is crap."

"Why?" she demanded.

"Well, it's right over that damn dance studio, for one, and you just _know_ you would hear a bunch of old farts doing the two-step all night." _No, you can hear lovers doing the Tango._ Bella shut her eyes against the new onslaught of memories as Jake continued. "Second... it's a dump! It looks like some squatter's paradise... or a crack house!"

"Oh, whatever! It's nowhere near that bad." She rolled her eyes, unable to hide her frustration.

"Bella, I really don't understand why you wanted me to see this place."

_So I could keep just this one last piece of him alive while I change everything else about myself for you._

"I thought it would make a nice apartment for us," she whispered. He stopped pacing around suddenly and stared at her as if she had grown another head.

"_What_? That doesn't even make any sense!" he bellowed. "Why the hell would we get an apartment, even this piece of shit, so soon before the wedding?"

"So we could be all moved in and settled by then, I thought that would be obvious." She was starting to feel her emotions getting worked up again, but instead of sad, this time she was getting pissed. She had no idea why she wanted it so badly, especially with all of the memories that would forever haunt her there, but the mere thought of Jake stopping her made her see red. "We need a place to live, Jake! I'm damn sure not going to keep living with Charlie for the rest of my life!"

"But why would we bother getting an apartment now when we're only going to move to the res after the wedding?"

Bella stopped pacing around anxiously and stared at him, her expression as shocked as if he'd slapped her in the face. "Excuse me... what did you say? We're going to do _what_?"

"Move to the res?" he said it as if it were a question, unable to see why she was so upset.

"And when, exactly, did _we_ decide that?"

"That's what I've always planned for us. You knew that."

"Uh, no... I most definitely did _not_!" she snapped. "Where the hell did you picture us living all this time, the garage?" It wasn't even about her getting the apartment any more; she was absolutely livid that he'd been planning their entire life for them for over a year and he'd never once said a word about it.

"No, in my house. My room is big enough for us."

"Jake, your room isn't big enough for _you_!" Suddenly she realized what he was really saying, and she sucked in a breath in shock. "Wait a minute... you thought we would live with your _father_?"

"Who the hell is gonna take care of him if we don't?" he screamed, his own emotions bubbling to the surface. Billy was always a sore point with him, a burden that he had chosen to carry through life even though it made him miserable.

"How about _rehab_, for starters?" she yelled back, knowing that she was treading dangerous waters, but unable to care any more. She knew that she was striking out in pain and anger and it had probably been the worst possible time to start this conversation, but the dam had broken wide and she wasn't going to keep quiet any more.

"Don't go there," he said with a warning tone in his voice.

"Oh, I think it's way past time that I went there, Jake."

She felt the truth in her words the moment they left her lips. She knew now that she really did need to end it, even without the beautiful new man waiting for her. This wasn't going to work, no matter how much she might try to force it. She couldn't allow herself to go through life smiling and nodding blankly while she was hollow on the inside.

"You know what my dad's like," he stated simply, as if that was all the explanation he needed. She _did_ know what Billy was like, and she also knew that Jake was only going to grow more bitter by the day if he kept letting himself be a slave to his father... just as she had become to her own. At least Charlie was somewhat gracious about it; the only thing Billy knew how to do was bark orders and get drunk.

"Yeah, I do. And I know you need to get the hell out of there before you become just like him."

"I can't just abandon him like that, Bella! I'm all he has left!"

"Well that's only because your sisters were smart enough to take off the second they got out of school! Why should you be stuck with your life on hold?"

"I'm not stuck, I'm helping him. He _needs_ me. And don't bring my sisters into this," he growled.

"Jake!" She threw her hands up in exasperation. "One of them left to go to college and never came back, and the other one shacked up with a fucking surfer in Hawaii just to stay away! And you know what? I don't blame them! Your dad is a _prick_! He always was, even before the accident!"

Jake reached out and grabbed her by the arms roughly, shaking her as he screamed in her face. "Don't you _dare_ fucking bring up the accident! My dad lost _everything_ that night! His legs... his _wife_! I'm the only one he's got!"

Refusing to be silent in the face of his rage, Bella kept going. "So because he killed your mother and broke his spine while driving drunk, that means that you are bound to him forever?"

"Shut up!"

"No, I won't," she said more calmly than she felt. "I understand wanting to help him through a hard time, but he has done nothing in all these years but get worse! Why do you think my father can't stand to be around him any more? They used to be best friends, for God's sake, and now if I even mention Billy's name my dad gets sad. He tried so hard to talk him into getting help... it broke his heart to watch him become what he is today. When your mother died, that was the last straw. I think he's always blamed himself for not doing more. Hell, I'm pretty sure that's why he wants us to get married so bad."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that he loves you like a son, and he's hoping that I'll scoop you up and take care of you the way that I took care of him. I'm pretty sure he was hoping I'd get you _out_ of that situation, not get myself sucked into it."

"But it would be better with you there, I just know it. My dad likes you! He's on his best behavior when you're there. And you're a nurse; you could help me take care of him."

"Are you even listening to yourself? Do you hear what you are saying?"

He let go of her and stepped back, dropping his gaze to the floor. When he spoke again it was a quiet whisper. "You're acting like I'm some kind of monster just because I wanna help my dad."

Bella felt her heart go out to him, finally seeing just how confused and misguided he had become. Closing the gap between them, she hugged him and put his head on her shoulder. Stroking his hair, she sighed before finally speaking.

"Jake... you're not a monster. You love him, I know that. But what you're doing now isn't helping him. He needs _real_ help, and not the kind that you can give him. And if he refuses that, there's no reason that you should have to throw your life away making runs to the liquor store for him and carrying him to bed every night. It's just not right."

"And _then_ what? What do I do? I thought I had everything worked out, but now I don't have a clue." She could hear him swallowing past a lump in his throat. "I really thought that you were the answer." And that was when she knew that he finally understood.

"I know," she whispered. "But this just isn't right. I think you know that now as much as I do."

He looked up at her, slowly reaching up to cup her chin. "I really _do_ love you, ya know."

"And I love you. I always have. But I don't think either one of us feels the kind of love we're supposed to feel. We're like best buddies. You deserve to go somewhere and find a girl who will love you with her whole heart."

"But everything is so much easier with you," he chuckled. "We hardly ever fight and you put up with my shit."

Bella smiled softly, but her eyes were sad."That's because there's no passion between us, sweetie. I know that now." Her mind flashed through so many heated encounters with Edward that she lost count. "When that kind of passion is there, it makes the fighting and nagging worth it, because the good times are so much better."

"I've never had that before," he said quietly. "I just thought that we clicked so well together... that it had to work."

"We would have been comfortable... but deep down we both would have been bored to death."

"Yeah... you're probably right." He looked at her for a moment before leaning down and kissing her softly. They both knew it was nothing more than a friendly gesture, and neither one of them gained any pleasure from it besides comforting a good friend. "So what happens now?"

Bella reached into her pocket and pulled out the ring that she had hardly ever worn. "You should have this back," she whispered, holding her open hand out to him. "You saved up a long time for it. I'm sure you could use the money towards a fresh start."

"Wow," he sighed, taking the ring from her small hand. "I can't believe this is really happening." He turned it over in his huge fingers, watching the slight sparkle from the small stone. "Do you really think I can start over?"

Bella stood up on her tiptoes, kissing him soundly on the cheek. "Absolutely. I think you can do anything you set your mind to... you just have to try."

"Thanks, Bells."

"Thank _you_... for understanding."

~/LTIF\~

A little over an hour later, Bella walked into her father's darkened house. She still felt completely raw, as if her entire body had been turned inside out, but she was pleased to notice a new lightness in her chest. She hadn't realized just how much the guilt of stringing Jake along had been weighing her down, and she was thrilled that they were able to end things so amicably.

A part of her wondered if she should have come clean about her affair, but she couldn't find any reason to hurt him more than necessary. If it had come down to it and he hadn't been so understanding and had demanded another reason, she would have told him... but as it was, she was just happy that it was finally over. She knew that telling him anything more now would only serve to lessen her guilt, and in her mind that guilt was her own punishment to bear.

She looked around the dark kitchen, the thought of food the furthest thing from her mind, and wondered what she was gonna do now. She had finally started her life down a new path, but she wouldn't be able to spend it with the person she cared most about. Sighing deeply, she pushed back her tears and forced herself to think about the topic at hand.

Charlie.

Setting down her jacket and turning on the light, Bella reached for the phone on the wall and dialed the police station. _No time like the present._ "Chief Swan, please," she said when a monotone voice answered the call.

"Bells?" he answered after a moment in a panicked tone. "Is something wrong? You hardly ever call me at work."

"No, no. I'm fine."

"You sure? Your voice sounds a little wobbly."

"Yeah... I'm sure. Listen... I have some news, and I didn't think it should wait until I saw you again. I had no idea how many doubles you were pulling this week."

"Are you pregnant?" he asked, a slight enthusiastic edge to his voice.

"No!" she gasped. "God, no! Why on earth would you think that?"

"Well... you said you had news. Forgive me for jumping to conclusions. So? Whatcha got for me?"

Bella took a deep breath. "I'm moving out."

There was a beat of silence. "Oh." She could hear him take a swig of something, most likely his fourth cup of coffee that night. "So soon?"

"Soon? Dad, it's been three years."

"I know... I guess I just figured you two would wait until closer to the wedding. So, where are you guys gonna live?"

"Actually, that's the other part of my news. I'm moving out alone. The engagement is off."

"I'll be home in ten minutes." _Click_

True to his word, Charlie pulled his cruiser into the drive exactly nine minutes and thirty seconds later. He burst through the door to find his daughter waiting patiently for him at the kitchen table, a mug of hot cocoa in her hand. It was still fairly full, since her diminished appetite had only allowed her a few sips, but she figured that it might be more helpful to have something busy to do with her hands during the upcoming conversation.

"Are you alright?" he asked, slightly out of breath from his run up the stairs. He sat down across from her and continued his line of questioning without giving her time to respond. "What happened? Did you fight? Did he hurt you? Do I need to kick his ass?"

"Slow down, Dad. Take a breath. Why did you leave work?"

"Tell me what happened, Isabella." _Ouch... he's pulling out the full name._

"Just like I said on the phone; we ended it."

"Care to be more specific?"

"We both agreed that we aren't the right person for each other. There wasn't any one thing that happened, Dad. We aren't mad at each other, there was no big fight. We just aren't together any more."

"Not right for each other? What are you talking about, you two are a perfect couple!"

"Not even close, Dad."

"I just don't get it," Charlie sighed, running his hands through his hair. "He's a great kid, Bella. He's always treated you good."

"If you love him so much why don't _you_ marry him, then?" she snapped, regretting it instantly when he winced. "Listen... I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. But you're supposed to care about what _I_ want and need, and it's not Jake. It hasn't been for a long time, and I finally found the courage to admit it to him. I didn't think we had any business getting married when we just weren't in love."

"But he loved you, Bells. That was easy to see."

"Yes, he loved me. And I loved him. But it wasn't the right kind of love, Dad. I hope you understand... because I need that to be enough for you."

"I'm sorry... this is just a lot to take in. You swear you're OK?"

"Yes, I'm fine. And so is Jake, don't worry. I know you care about him. You can still hang out with him whenever you want, I won't mind. But I'm not gonna be here to bust my ass making you both dinner any more."

"You mean you're still moving out? Why?"

"Dad, _really_? I'm almost thirty... single... and living with my father. It's time for me to be on my own."

"But... but who's gonna help me out around here? You know my leg still bothers me."

"Your leg is _fine_. You've just gotten used to having me wait on you hand and foot, and now you don't like the thought of going back to what it was like before. Well if I remember correctly, you used to whine and moan when I first moved in here, telling me over and over again how you somehow managed to get by on your own for over twenty years without my help. Now's your chance to prove it."

Bella could see him blinking rapidly, and on closer inspection she noticed that his eyes looked watery.

"That's not it," he whispered, swallowing down a lump in his throat. "I'll be fine. I admit, I've gotten a little lazy around here, but I think I can remember how to use the microwave. It's just that... I'm really gonna miss you around here. I love you, Bells."

She could probably count on one hand how many times she had heard her father say that.

"I love you, too. And it's not like I'm going back to Phoenix and you'll never see me again; I'm just moving into an apartment across town. Hell, I'll even have you over for Sunday breakfast some day."

"I guess that's not so bad," he said, and Bella watched as his thick mustache twitched at the corners, eventually turning up into a smile. "At least you'll finally get those damn cats out of here."

"Hey! Don't knock the Fraggle twins. I know you secretly love them."

After a few uncomfortable moments of silence he glanced at his watch. "I should probably be getting back to work." He stood up from the table, wiping at his eyes quickly when he thought she wasn't looking. As he turned to leave, he stopped and looked at her one more time. "Are you sure you're gonna be OK, kiddo?"

"Yeah, Dad. I think everything is going to be just fine."

She almost believed it.

After Charlie left, she slowly made her way upstairs and got ready for bed. It wasn't until she was settled underneath the covers that she finally lost control of her thoughts, allowing all of the memories to come flooding back again.

Edward... holding her tightly in the dark, stroking her bare shoulders and kissing her softly.

Edward... waking her up in the middle of the night with his wandering fingers.

Edward... smiling and laughing as she tickled him playfully.

When she couldn't take any more, Bella rolled over onto her side and cried herself to sleep.

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OK, I know this wasn't a huge chapter like the last few, but I covered what I wanted to cover and it felt like the right place to end it. Bella's a little bruised and broken right now, but she still pulled her shit together at the last moment. Can she get a high five?

So we're finally rid of the dog, boys and girls. Thoughts? (besides whining that there was no Edward. I know that already. He will reappear soon, but don't get pushy or I'll send him off on a five year sabbatical.)


	21. Say You'll Haunt Me

Still amazed and overwhelmed with all the positive feedback! Thank you so much!

This chapter is dedicated to my hetero lifemate, Aylah50, who has a birthday this week! I hope you can all wish her a good one. Stop by and check out her stories The Ride and ABC Countdown, they are soooooo worth it! (and that's coming from me! You KNOW I know my smut.) The Ride actually has a great plot, and ABC Countdown just makes me want to dry hump the couch. Tell her Saucy sent ya! ;-p

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. If I did, I wouldn't be working 40 hrs a week. **

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_Say you want to stay, you want me too_

_Say you'll never die, you'll always haunt me_

_I want to know I belong to you_

_Say you'll haunt me_

"_Say You'll Haunt Me" ~ Stone Sour_

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"Jesus Christ, Bella, would you just _pick_ one, already?" Alice slurred as she drummed her manicured nails impatiently on the coffee table.

"Seriously!" Rose groaned from the other end of the table.

"Hey, lay off! I have exactly enough to try for another pie piece, but I don't know which color I should choose. Pink is my favorite category, but I gotta get that fucking green one out of the way, too. I _hate_ Science & Nature; I always blank on the answer even when I know it."

"Bella, _everyone_ loves Pink," Alice chided. "Entertainment is the easiest category."

"Speak for yourself, bitch. I like sports."

"Oh shut it, Ro. We can't all be married to the NFL." Rosalie stuck out her tongue childishly at Alice before tipping back her margarita and slurping loudly. Alice flipped her the bird and looked back across the table without losing her focus. "Alright Bella... today!"

"Fine... pink. Do it before I change my mind." Bella finished the rest of her drink as Alice fished out another card from the box.

"OK..." Alice cleared her throat before continuing. "In the Steve Martin remake of _Father Of The Bride_, what was the final head count for his daughter's wedding?"

"Five hundred and seventy-two," Bella answered without even blinking.

"Holy shit!" Rose blurted out, almost spitting her drink.

"How the hell did you know that?" Alice asked, her mouth still hanging open.

"Girls, let me tell you, if there was a movie that I was _remotely_ interested in when I was younger, I could probably quote the entire thing to you. I just have this strange knack for remembering useless bullshit, and movies were at the top of my favorites for ways to kill time. Now shut up and give my my pink pie piece," she teased, holding her hand out across the table towards Alice, who had announced at the beginning of the game that she _always_ gets to hand out the pieces.

"OK, Rain Main, don't get your panties in a wad," she laughed, handing her the tiny plastic triangle. "Rose, you're next."

"Wait," she replied, getting up from her kneeling position on the carpet. "I call break. We're out of margaritas and I really need to pee." She grabbed the empty pitcher and headed to her enormous kitchen, which currently looked like a disaster area, covered with bags and boxes of junk food.

The Cullen girls knew how to do a girl's night right.

"Hey... how are you doing, Bella?" Alice whispered as soon as Rose was out of earshot.

"Oh," she sighed, "I'm OK, I suppose. Every day goes by a little easier."

"Good," Alice smiled, reaching over and patting her hand. "I'm happy to hear that."

It had been over three weeks since Bella had started living on her own, and she had been in contact with one or both of the girls nearly every day from the beginning. It had all started when she had tried to go in to work that following Monday after Edward had left; Rosalie had come in for some final bloodwork before going back to Seattle, and Bella had taken one look at her and promptly burst into tears.

It hadn't taken much prodding on Rosalie's part to get her to admit why she was so upset, and as soon as she'd learned that Bella's 'mystery man' had left her without one word of explanation, she was just about shooting flames out of her ears.

"_That stupid, arrogant, selfish prick!" she snarled, grabbing her cell phone and scrolling through her speed dial violently. _

"_Who are you calling?" Bella asked, wiping her nose with the tissue Rose had handed her. She appreciated Rosalie sympathizing with her, but she hadn't expected such venom on her behalf. _

"_My idiot, shit for brains brother-in-law, that's who!" _

"_Oh my god, you know it's Edward?" Bella gasped, positive that she was in her own custom made nightmare. _

"_Oh, please!" she snapped, pressing the send button and holding the phone to her ear. "You two were eye fucking each other all night after dinner; it didn't take a mathematician to figure it out, Bella." _

"_What? Wait, you can't call him!" She reached for her phone frantically. _

"_Why the hell not?" _

"_Because, this was his decision. He obviously didn't want any more contact with me, or he would have left me his fucking number, too." _

"_Oh, bullshit! He's just being his typical broody, over-dramatic self. I'm getting to the bottom of this right now." She heard his voicemail pick up, and just as she was about to repeat that entire sentence verbatim for Edward to enjoy, Bella began to beg so pathetically that she stopped and looked at her. _

"_No! Please no! Please, not right now, Rose. Please! Not like this." _

_She debated for a moment before finally ending the call. "OK, fine. But this isn't over, and I make no promises about not talking to him." _

"_Duly noted. Just please... let me deal with this my own way. I'm already better than I was yesterday, and I won't be able to put him out of my mind if you are talking to him right in front of me. Besides... I don't want him to think I went running to his family and tattled on him." _

"_Alright, but you need some girl time. You need to be able to vent or cry or whatever girly shit you feel like doing, and we can't do that here. We're hanging out tonight, whether you like it or not." _

And that had been the beginning of _Operation: Cheer Up Bella_.

Rose and Alice had spent the next weekend helping her decorate her new apartment, giving her a few pointers about curtains and knick-knacks but otherwise allowing Bella to truly make it her own space for the first time in her life, aside from a unanimous veto that forbade the Flight of the Conchords posters from going up in the living room. They had helped her find a good deal on a little loveseat and dining set, and the shitty little place had actually become damn near cozy.

After that, they made sure that one or both of them called her every day, keeping her occupied and laughing on the phone. It didn't stop the memories from coming back as soon as Bella hung up and tried to go to sleep, but she found that they were becoming less and less painful to remember. Nothing would change the fact that she missed him terribly, but it comforted her to know that one day she might be able to think of their time together with nothing but fondness.

The girls had whined and begged Bella for weeks, finally ganging up on her in a three-way Skype chat until she had agreed to come to Seattle for the weekend. They had spent all of Saturday dragging her around from store to store, forcing her to try on one new outfit after the next as if she was their own personal My Size Barbie. When she had finally had enough and vowed to happily vomit on the next thing they handed her, they grudgingly relented and dragged her back to Rosalie's penthouse for margarita game night.

Now, only two rounds of Trivial Pursuit and three pitchers later, and Alice had done what Rosalie had made her promise not to do for the entire weekend: she had brought up "the situation" and _He Who Shall Not Be Named_.

"Oh shit!" she swore to herself, looking at Bella apologetically. "Is it OK that I ask you that? I know I'm not supposed to, but I just had to make sure that you were feeling better about... you know, _him_."

Bella simply chuckled and shrugged. "Alice, he's your brother, not Voldemort! Don't think that you can't ever talk about him."

"Well, I just didn't want you to think I was being insensitive."

At that moment Rosalie came back in the room with a full pitcher, shaking her head. "Dammit, Alice! You did it already, didn't you?"

"But she just said I could!" Alice whined before grabbing her glass and draining what was left, eager for a refill.

"Of course she did, you dolt! She's being nice! I _told_ you not to make her uncomfortable," Rose scolded as she sat back down on the carpet, crossing her legs Indian style and scooting up to the coffee table.

"Guys!" Bella interrupted, holding up her hands in front of them before they could get into it even further. When they were quiet, she continued. "I really don't mind. He's part of your family, and I'm a big girl. If you want to talk about your brother, there's no reason you should stop on my account."

"Yeah, but it's not like we ever used to talk about him that often before," Rosalie explained. "We hadn't seen him for so long that I'd nearly forgotten all about him until that bitch killed herself."

"Rose!" Alice gasped.

"Oh, don't 'Rose' me. You know damn well it's the truth. There is no reason we need to talk about Edward any more now than we ever did before the _last_ time he ran off and cut everyone out of his life. Don't get me wrong... I love the boy, and I will always be there for him if he ever pulls his head out of his ass again, but I don't think we need to keep bringing him up right now. He hurt our friend by being a selfish prick, and until he's ready to stop being one, I don't see what there is to talk about."

"But I can't believe you said that about Tanya."

"Oh, she was a cunt, Alice! Being dead doesn't change that. You wouldn't believe _half_ the shit that Emmett told me about her after I pried it out of him. I promised him it would go no further, and it's a promise I intend to keep, but believe me when I say that killing herself was probably the best decision she'd ever made." After taking a deep breath, she looked back and forth between the two stunned faces that were staring back at her. "I'm sorry if I sound heartless right now. I just can't bring myself to give two shits about her, and I'm certainly not going to glorify her memory."

After almost a full minute of silence, Alice finally whispered, "I never did like her." She looked up at Bella and felt the urge to explain herself. "She was just so damn stuck up... always looked down her nose at everyone. But she was who my brother said he wanted."

"You guys really don't need to explain this stuff to me," Bella said, grabbing the pitcher and filling up the now empty glasses. "I'm not asking or trying to pry. If you want to talk about him, talk about him. If you don't, don't."

"But doesn't it hurt you even more?" Rose asked, reaching out and grabbing her hand before she could pick up her glass.

"What do you want me to say? I'm not gonna lie and say that I don't still miss him every day. Missing him hurts. Not having him in my arms at night hurts. Hearing about him... well, that hurts, too... but it also lets me know that I didn't dream the whole damn thing. He _really_ existed. For a short, beautiful time, an amazing man was in my life. I would never trade in those memories, even if it meant never feeling any pain."

"Are you more hurt or angry?" Alice asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, be honest... you just uprooted your entire life, and it sounds like a lot of it was triggered by him, the hope of being with him. And that very day, he disappears without a word to any of us. That's gotta piss you off just the littlest bit."

Bella thought for a moment before giving the most truthful answer she could imagine. "Yeah, I suppose I'm angry... but if anything, I'm angry about how he went about it. I'd like to think that I would have had more respect for him having the guts to tell me to my face that this wasn't what he wanted any more. Without actually hearing it from him, I feel like it's not over... like maybe there is more going on under the surface. I hate feeling like I'm reading more into it than I should, and _that_ makes me angry; I don't want to be one of those clingy girls who just can't take a hint. I mean, he _left_. Most people would get the message loud and clear, not lay around pining for him."

"Sweetie, I don't think you need to worry about that," Alice smiled. "It's not like you locked yourself away in your room for six months and stared out the window. You _are_ getting on with your life. You moved out on your own, you aren't waiting hand and foot on everyone around you... hell, just you being here is a big deal. Getting you out of the house used to be like pulling teeth!"

"She's right, Bella," Rosalie joined in. "You are becoming a new person. I always liked you before, but I really _love_ who you have become. You're sassy and you don't take our shit, and that's just the kind of friend we need. It's inspirational to see you blossom like this." She smiled wickedly before adding, "In fact, the whole situation is inspirational. If your relationship had ended better, I totally would have stolen it for my next book. When I first figured out what was going on, my fingers were just _itching_ to start typing!"

Bella rolled her eyes and sighed loudly. "Well maybe you can write me the happy ending that I didn't get."

"Would you take him back if he showed up tomorrow?" Alice asked.

"Jeez, Alice, we're trying to get her to _move on_ from this topic, not beat her over the head with it."

"I wanna know how she feels. Besides," she explained, "how can someone really learn and grow from an experience if they never really knew how they felt about it?"

"Wow... that's almost profound," Rosalie teased. "When did you get all deep and shit?" She hiccuped loudly, reminding them all just how much they'd had to drink. Alice flipped her the bird again, and they all started laughing.

"I don't know," Bella said finally after some of the giggling had died down. "My pride tells me that I should tell him to shove it up his ass and slam the door in his face... but if it ever actually came to that, I really don't think I could do it."

"Aw, really?" Rosalie pouted, her glorified image of Bella the Superbitch being dashed in a heartbeat.

"I'm sorry, I can't help it. _He_ ended it, not me. Just because he can apparently shut off his emotions in a split second, it doesn't mean that I can."

"You still love him, don't you?" Alice whispered.

"Of course I do," Bella groaned, dropping her head down on the table with a loud thud. "Ow." She rubbed at her forehead quickly before continuing. "What I think hurts the most is that I had just really come to terms with how _much_ I loved him when he left, so now I'm all alone and missing him, wishing I had only told him sooner. I don't know that it would have mattered enough to make him stay, but at least I'd have the peace of mind of knowing that I gave it my all. I've never given _anything_ my all before; he was the first person to make me feel like I really had anything worth giving." She looked up when she realized how quiet they were and found them both staring at her, hanging on every word. "What?"

"That's kinda beautiful," Alice sighed.

"Yeah," Rose nodded.

"Well, whatever it is, I can't just turn it off because he's gone. All I can do is get on with really living my life for once and hope that the pain will go away eventually. I know it will happen if I give it long enough and force myself to not obsess over it. But if he came back tomorrow?" she paused. "I think things would definitely have to be different than before, but deep down... I really just want him back."

"Even after he did that to you?" Alice said in amazement.

"I think I get it," Rose smiled sadly. "I think I'd be the same way if Emmett ever left. I can't imagine him ever doing that, but if he was just suddenly gone... I wouldn't know what to do with myself. He's like the other half of me; nothing would feel right until he was back."

"He's gone all the time, Rose."

"It's not the same, Alice. That's work. We talk all the time and I know he's coming home to me when he's done. And I'm here with all of his things around me, always reminding me of him." She suddenly gasped and looked at Bella. "Oh man! I just got it!"

"What?" the other two said in unison, both startled at her sudden outburst.

"I just realized why you took that apartment."

"What do you mean?" Bella said nervously.

"Well, I always thought it was a little creepy that you rented the same place where you used to hook up with him. No offense or anything, it's a totally cute place now, but it just didn't make sense to me why you would want to torture yourself like that."

"Do you care to share with the rest of the class?" Alice prompted, making a rolling gesture with her hand to signal her to continue.

"It's all she has left of him, Alice. I thought it was maybe some odd way that she was conquering her demons or something, but that's not it at all." She turned to look at Bella again. "It's just your only way to be near your other half, isn't it?"

"Pretty much," Bella sighed, hugging her knees to her chest. She didn't want to draw their attention to the oversized Forks High sweatpants and pullover that she was wearing, the same thing she'd worn to bed every night since he'd left and she'd found them in the laundry. She knew it probably wasn't healthy to always wear his clothes just to feel him around her at night, but she still silently hoped that the girls wouldn't suddenly remember that she'd never even _gone_ to Forks High.

Just then, Rose's phone started playing _Mr. Big Stuff _from under a pile of scattered cheese popcorn. Her face lit up and she scrambled for it, wading through the junk food.

"Speak of the devil!" she smiled, answering it excitedly. "Hey Baby!"

"How are all my girls doing tonight?" Emmett laughed, hearing the slight slur to his wife's words.

"We're doing margaritas, that's how we're doing!" she giggled, holding out the phone and waving at the others to say something.

"Hey, Emmett!" They both yelled towards the phone before Alice began making kissy noises in the background and Bella started making whip crack sounds. They always loved teasing him about being whipped whenever he would call; Emmett _never_ forgot to call and check in, no matter how late it was or how short the call was. Neither one of them could sleep right if they hadn't spoken at least once that day.

"You bitches," he laughed, wishing he was in town that weekend so he could watch them be drunk idiots.

"How's Denver, baby?" Rosalie asked when she put the phone back up to her ear.

"Eh, you know... Broncos, Shmoncos. I miss Seattle."

"Well, Seattle misses you, too. You'd be so proud, I totally kicked ass on all the sports questions in Trivial Pursuit."

"That's my girl! What have you guys been up to besides drunken trivia?"

"Oh, you know. Talking about the selfish prick."

"Ah... I knew Alice would bring Edward up. Is Bella doing OK?"

"Yeah," she answered, smiling at Bella as she spoke. "Turns out our little girl is all grown up. She can talk about big girl things without me looking out for her every step of the way."

"I told you she could handle it, hon. She's got balls bigger than mine."

"Well, I don't know about _that_," Rosalie purred.

"Alright, that's my cue to hang up. I can't have you start talking sexy now or I'm gonna have to jerk it again before I go to sleep, and I'm fucking _exhausted_. Raincheck?"

"Of course!" she smiled, thinking of the fun they would have the next night when she was alone again. "I miss you, baby. Just two more days."

"Two more days," he repeated. It was how they always ended their calls when he was gone, counting down the days until they would be together again. "Hey," he added before switching off the phone, "Why don't you actually take Bella out and do some fun shit _other_ than shopping tomorrow before she leaves? Take her to Pike Place and have her throw a fish or some shit, just get her _out_ of the damn stores. The poor girl won't ever want to come back if you bore her to death."

"Yes, dear," she sighed, rolling her eyes but knowing he was probably right. "I love you." The girls watched as she ended the call, but before she set the phone down on the table again she made a face as if remembering something, flipping it open and firing off a quick text message. "There," she said to herself as she set it back down.

"Forget to tell him something nasty?" Alice teased.

"Yeah... something like that."

~/LTIF\~

On the other side of the country, a loud beeping noise could be heard in a dark hotel room.

Edward rolled over and swatted at the alarm, but as he reached for it he realized that the noise had already stopped. Peeling his eyes open slowly, he groaned when he saw that it was barely three in the morning.

"Fucking _Rose_," he grumbled as he reached for his phone instead, now remembering that it must be time for his nightly text. He wasn't pissed at the text itself, he'd gotten used to those, but he was frustrated that he had actually managed to fall asleep that night. It happened so rarely any more.

His foggy brain was still swimming with flashes of warm brown and soft pink, so he sat up all the way and turned on the small table lamp, hoping to chase them away. As he looked around the dimly lit room, he could make out the various shapes of different canvases stacked along the wall, none of them finished yet. Looking at those disturbed him even more, so he forced his attention back to his phone and opened up his text message.

_**Have I mentioned lately that you're a selfish prick? ~R**_

_As a matter of fact, you have, _he thought to himself as he scrolled back through his very full inbox. When he had first left, he had been bombarded with calls and texts from his family, some of them wanting to know what had happened while others seemed to know way too much.

_**OMG! Where R U? What happened? ~Alice**_

_**You are such a prick. I know what you're running from, you chickenshit. Big Mistake. ~R**_

_**Honey, are you OK? Your brother said you left town. Please call and let me know. ~Mom**_

_**Dude, WTF? I thought you wanted this. I really wanna kick your ass right now. ~E to the C**_

_**Sweetheart, where are you? Just let me know you're alright. ~Mom**_

_**Edward! Stop ignoring me! I'm worried! ~Alice**_

_**Prick. ~R**_

_**It's Jasper. I know we don't know each other well, but your sister is going batshit crazy worrying about you. Plz call her. ~**_

_**Son, you are breaking your poor mother's heart. Again. ~C. Cullen, MD**_

_**You've made every woman I care about cry, including Bella. It's official. Next time I see you, I'm kicking your ass. ~E to the C**_

_**Asshole. ~R**_

_**Your brother explained that you may be having some personal problems right now. I won't bother you, but If you need a good therapist, let me know. ~C. Cullen, MD**_

As he had continually refused to answer any of the texts or return any calls, they had eventually started to dwindle off, but he found it almost touching that Rose and even Emmett were still in it for the long haul.

_**Hope you're still alive, prick. You threw away the best thing you ever had, but I still don't wish you dead. Neither does she, surprisingly. ~R**_

_**Get your shit together, bro. I miss you. We all do. Still punching you in the face, tho. ~E to the C**_

Edward sighed loudly and hit DELETE, finally clearing out the messages that had been stacking up. He knew that one day soon he would need to get in touch with someone, but he'd been too busy hiding his head in the sand to worry about it yet. At the last minute, he left one message, unable to get rid of it, reading it over a few more times.

_**Neither does she, surprisingly.**_

He couldn't stop reading that section, so he forced himself to exit his inbox and start in on the voicemails. As he listened to each member of his family yelling at him, he found his mind wandering yet again to some of the text messages.

It was apparent that some of them, if not everyone by now, had found out about him and... her. He wondered briefly if she had told them, but what would that have accomplished? She clearly hadn't sought them out to get his phone number, because she was the one person in all of this who _hadn't_ sent him texts and left him messages. He'd half expected something from her by now, even a simple _fuck off_, and he didn't know what to make of the complete lack of contact.

He kept telling himself that he'd been dreading it, not wanting to hear her screaming or crying at him. He kept telling himself that he wanted her to move on quickly, to get back to her normal life before him so that she could be happy. No matter how many times he kept saying those things, they weren't getting any easier to believe.

He had been absolutely terrified when she had told him what her intentions were; he couldn't imagine that she really knew what she wanted that easily. When he'd heard the words 'I just want to be with you' come out of her mouth, he had felt the most amazing rush of happiness, as if he was finally going to get everything that he had ever wanted. And just as quickly, the panic set in.

How could he possibly deserve her? She was good in every way that he was horribly wrong. She had no idea what she was saying. How could anyone really want a man who could take such a sweet, innocent soul and corrupt her against anything she had ever known? In less than a month with him, she was ready to break up her impending marriage and most likely desert the only family she had in that area. All of this for a man with nothing but a history of selfishness, always putting himself before everyone else.

The crazy thing that his dear sister-in-law didn't realize now with all of her angry texts was that this was the most _unselfish_ thing he'd ever done in his entire life.

Leaving Bella had been the hardest thing he had ever forced himself to do. It was as if someone had placed the most glorious diamond in the palm of his hand and said it was his for the taking, as long as he didn't care about ruining the lives of everyone it had ever come in contact with. And he had wanted it... _bad_.

He had instantly seen himself scooping her up that very night, throwing her in his car and just driving until they ran out of gas, away from anyone they knew. If he asked, he knew that she would go. He saw himself dragging her to the first courthouse he could find for a quickie elopement, then racing to the closest motel so that he could fuck her stupid for the next three days straight, maybe five, only stopping to eat... and when they ran out of food he would live on her sweat and her moans and her cries of pleasure.

And then it had hit him... the image of his family, ashamed of him for stealing such a precious girl away from her family. That was quickly followed up with a flash of Bella, lonely and scared, far away from home and bored out of her mind in a foreign country while he disappeared for days on end to paint. She had no one to talk to, and her father had refused to speak to her ever again for what she had done. Edward knew without a doubt that she would grow to hate him; she would blame him for wrecking everything, knowing that he had taken advantage of her naivete so that he could keep her as his own precious jewel.

He also knew without a doubt that seeing that look of hate in her eyes would kill him dead.

So he did the only thing he knew how to do. He ran.

He ran away like the chickenshit Rose had called him, hoping that she would go back to her life that she had always known... the life she had been perfectly happy with before he had bulldozed into it. He hoped that after a few weeks without him, she would have forgotten all about him.

He hadn't taken into account just how hard it would be for him to forget _her_. He saw her everywhere, in every passing smile, every bubbly laugh, even the sunset had shades of gold that reminded him of the highlights in her hair. He also wasn't sleeping again... but it wasn't from the grisly images of Tanya's death. It was from the lack of her warmth next to him in the dark... the smell of her sweet skin... the sound of her breathing softly as she slept.

He just fucking _missed_ her.

He couldn't listen to his music anymore; every song made him think of her. If it was sad, all he could think of was how much he wanted her to be there. If it was happy, he would immediately think of the fun, playful times they had shared together. And he didn't even want to _think_ of the sexy songs. Those opened up a floodgate of memories that kept him absolutely paralyzed with need for hours on end.

Of course, not being able to listen to his music had made painting nearly impossible for him lately. His thoughts were everywhere and he couldn't focus, always leading him back to thinking of her, and when he would step back and look at the painting he would see her eyes or her lips or some other feature that his subconscious was fixating on at that given moment.

So now he had a large collection of half finished paintings stacked up, all of them some version of Bella, all of them screaming at him to finish them properly and admit that he wanted nothing more than to be with the real thing.

Just thinking of them made him glance across the room at the canvases before he could stop himself, which caused him to shut his eyes tightly and repeat his newest mantra over and over in his mind.

_You did the right thing. You did the right thing. You put her before yourself for the first time. You weren't what she needed. _

It helped for the most part. Whenever he was hit with his moments of doubt it usually calmed his nerves, but lately there were times that he even found himself doubting that.

_What if it wasn't the right thing to do? Did you even ask her what she wanted, or did you just decide that you knew what was best for her? _

_No no no! She just thought it was fun and exciting because it was something new. She would have hated you in a few months. _

_But how do you know that for sure? How do you know that your love is more honest and lasting than hers? You've never even been in love before... how do even know that she didn't feel the real thing for you? _

"Fuck!" he yelled out, throwing one of the pillows that was wadded up next to him across the room. He couldn't stand the nagging feeling of doubt that was starting to creep in and take over his brain. What if he had made a split decision based on fear, and rather than saving her from herself, he had sentenced her to a life with someone that she truly didn't want? What if they were _both_ miserable right now?

_No. She will move on. She will marry that big oaf and have his babies and never think of you again. _

"God dammit!" he roared, chucking another pillow, this time knocking over a figurine on the mantle across the room, sending it to the floor to shatter into a million tiny pieces. Just the thought of that fucking guy's hands anywhere near her body made him feel sick to his stomach.

_What did you think she would do, you fucking idiot? Even if she doesn't end up with him, she's going to eventually let someone else touch her. A girl that passionate won't be alone for long. She's going to be someone's wildest fucking dream come true when they realize what a firecracker she is. And she has only you to thank for tapping into that passion that was hidden deep down inside of her. You left her there, all alone, ripe and ready for the plucking. _

The loud growl that ripped through the room couldn't have been described as a word. If anyone else had heard it, they might have said it almost sounded like _mine_... almost. It was just too feral to know for certain.

These nights were the worst for Edward.

All he wanted was to drift off to sleep and shut out all of his traitorous thoughts, even if it meant dreaming of her. However it never failed, once he was tossing and turning and these thoughts set in, he knew he would be up the rest of the night. He glanced at his luggage across the room and mentally scolded himself, knowing that it would never get any better for him if he kept depending on such a pathetic crutch.

Focusing instead on his voicemails again, he continued plowing through them, using all of his energy to keep his mind from wandering again. He had always found it odd that his phone played them in reverse order, from newest to oldest, so he actually listened to his family's anger going backwards to their initial worry. When he had finally reached the last one that had to be from right after he left, he was expecting more of the same and nearly dropped the phone when he heard the last thing he'd ever expected to hear again.

Bella's voice.

She wasn't calling him, she was actually almost muffled, like the phone was being held away from her, but he would know her voice anywhere.

"No! Please no! Please, not right now, Rose. Please! Not like this." _Click_

Somehow he had missed this message when it had first come in. Some of the others he'd heard already, before he'd started flat out ignoring them, but so many had come in at once in the beginning that he must have missed this one. All that time without her, and he'd had her voice right there in his phone the entire time!

He had no idea what the call had been about. The only thing he could assume was that Rose had tried to call him to bitch him out when she'd first found out what had happened, and Bella must have been there.

She sounded so broken... so sad.

_Stop! You did the right thing. You did the right thing._

He listened to it again and again, barely letting it finish before he was starting it over. When he closed his eyes he could see her as clearly as if she were lying next to him, her long tresses spread out over the sheets as she smiled up at him. Before long the sound of her voice on the recording began to bleed over into his imagination, and then his beautiful goddess was looking up at him with tears in her eyes, begging him for an explanation, begging him not to leave.

She was haunting him.

As much as it killed him to think of her like that, he couldn't bring himself to stop. He kept telling himself that he needed to forget her, but he missed her so fucking much that he knew he would take whatever small piece of her he could get to keep her alive in his memories... even if those memories were painful.

Suddenly it felt as if he had been ripped in half... that he had somehow become an amputee.

He knew that feeling well; he was becoming more and more familiar with it on a nightly basis. Glancing at his luggage once again, he sighed loudly, finally admitting defeat. When the pain showed up, he knew it was useless to fight it any more.

Slowly getting out of bed and walking towards the bag in question, he quietly unzipped the side pocket, as if at any moment someone would hear and call him out for the pathetic perverted loser that he truly was. Pulling the item out quickly, he returned to bed, clutching his prize to his chest as he reached for his phone.

Pressing play on the message yet again, Edward lay back on the only remaining pillow, listening to her scared, sad voice on repeat until he finally fell asleep... a dark blue scrap of lace knotted in his fist.

* * *

Edward's back! So, looks like our star-crossed lovers each have a souvenir from the other one. Why can't they just get their shit together, already?


	22. Little Lion Man

I'm so happy that you are still hanging in with me as our broken hearted couple gets their shit together! Let's read on and see what's in store for our mopey hero.

Also, if you've never heard the title song, I definitely recommend checking out my chapter songs playlist. The lyrics just SCREAM Edward to me right now. Plus, it's just a really catchy song that says 'fuck' a lot, so you know I like it.

**Disclamer: Stephenie Meyer owns them... and they own me. **

* * *

_But it was not your fault, but mine_

_And it was your heart on the line_

_I really fucked it up this time_

_Didn't I, my dear?_

_Didn't I... my dear?_

"_Little Lion Man" ~ Mumford & Sons_

x

xx

xxx

As the natural light began to fade from the windows, Edward looked up from his canvas to notice that it was already after seven. He couldn't remember the last time he'd even glanced at the clock, and the loud growl in his stomach announced that he certainly hadn't eaten.

Without moving his eyes away from his latest project, he backed away slowly until his legs bumped into the small desk behind him that held the phone. Dialing the extension from memory, he quickly ordered up a pot of coffee and a turkey sandwich, not wanting anything time-consuming that would take his attention away from his painting for longer than a few bites. He knew that he should probably have gotten something more substantial, but considering that he had gone almost three days on an empty stomach recently, he figured that anything was better than nothing.

Within a heartbeat he was back in front of his easel, swirling and streaking different colors across the stretched fabric. This had been his typical day for... how many days? He couldn't remember. All he knew was that he had finally given himself over to his body's driving need to paint, and he had gone back and finished every single piece he'd started, as well as many new ones.

The last time he could remember being so focused and immersed in his work, he'd been on a four day bender and Tanya had only interrupted him to refill his nose candy. But this time? This time felt completely different. He wasn't rushing to meet a deadline or trying to impress anyone. This time, he had somehow found his own world... his own version of paradise... and he never wanted to leave.

In what felt like less than five minutes but was actually closer to twenty, there was a loud knock on the door. Swearing to himself under his breath for not thinking to unbolt the damn thing in advance so that room service could just come in without his needing to stop, Edward set his palette and brush down and made his way across the room. Feeling through his empty pockets as he walked, he grumbled even louder as he reached his destination.

"I hope I can sign your tip on the room, man," he called to the door as he reached for it. "I'm all out of cash."

"Oh, I'm sure we can work something out," a deep, menacing voice answered as Edward pulled back the door to reveal a very large, very _angry_ looking man.

Edward stared for a moment, blinking, as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"Emmett?" he whispered.

The large man allowed an evil grin to spread across his features before replying.

"Hey, bro."

And then he proceeded to pull back one of the biggest fists that Edward had ever seen in his entire life and pound it straight into the side of his face.

Before he had even registered the sickening thud of meat smacking meat, Edward saw sparks flash in his vision while he was catapulted across the room, landing flat on his back as the world went dark around him.

"Told you I was going to do that, you asshole," Emmett mumbled as he closed the door behind him. Crossing the floor in three long strides, he peered down at his brother's supine body, tapping him with the toe of his boot. "Come on, shithead. Get up."

When Edward made no sign of movement, Emmett simply shrugged and headed into the bedroom, leaving his brother unconscious on the floor as he went about his business.

~/LTIF\~

The sound of clinking china was the first thing that Edward recognized.

As he opened his eyes slowly to get his bearings, he noticed two things right away. One: only his right eye was cooperating with him; no matter how hard he tried to open his left, it just wouldn't budge. And two: he was flat on his back on the carpet while Emmett was sitting at the small table above him, apparently drinking his room service coffee.

He tried to shift so that he could sit up, but the action only sent a wave of pure agony straight to his face. The loud groan that emanated from him sounded more like a wounded animal than a man, but it simply made Emmett smile wider as he poured himself another cup.

"Awww," he teased. "Does the widdle baby got a booboo?" Edward peered up at him through the one eye that wasn't already swelling shut, causing a ridiculous winking look that set Emmett off into a fresh fit of laughter. "Dude, you look like Popeye!"

"Fuck... _you_," Edward grunted out through clenched teeth as he finally struggled into a sitting position, propping himself up with his hands on the floor behind his back.

"Oh, fuck _me_?" Emmett raised an eyebrow sharply as he looked at the disheveled man in front of him. "Let's not start with that, my friend. My 'fuck you' list is longer; I'll win." He stared him down a moment longer before chuckling again. "Besides, I took it easy on you. That was only about half power."

"Bullshit," Edward whined. "I feel like my face is on fire. Everything's swelling up." He slowly pulled himself up by the edge of a chair and sat down on the other side of the table, gingerly touching at his sore cheek with the tips of his fingers.

"Not _my_ fault you're a lightweight, bro." He slurped loudly at the tiny china cup and merely winked when Edward flipped him off.

"How did you find me?" Edward asked after settling back into his chair with a groan.

Emmett sighed deeply before finally setting the cup down. "I suppose you think the NFL has never had to track down some asshole player on a bender? We have our ways." He meticulously unfolded a linen napkin as he spoke, scooping a large handful of ice from a bucket into it before wrapping it up and handing it to him."Here. Put this on your eye. It's still gonna be an ugly son of a bitch, but it should help with some of the pain and swelling."

"Thanks," Edward grunted, gingerly applying the makeshift icepack to his cheekbone.

"Anyway," he continued, "I knew that New York was the last city you were living in before Tanya checked out. When one of the Giants needed help after a torn ACL this week, I thought there might actually be a chance of finding your dumb ass."

"Oh."

"Yeah, '_oh_.' Did you think you were so clever that none of us would figure it out, or did you just think that nobody would ever come looking for you?"

"Nobody ever did before," he said quietly.

"Well, that's because you acted like a pompous shithead who had no time for his _family_," Emmett gritted out between clenched teeth, years of resentment spilling out. "We didn't want to bother you when you made it more than clear that your lives were much too _fabulous_ for us," he mocked.

"But that's not—"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Emmett interrupted, waving him off. "That's not how it ended up. I know that... _now_... but that's sure as shit how it started out. Believe me," he sighed, "I wish that bitch was still alive so I could put my boot up her ass for putting you through that... but none of us would have let you go on that way if we'd had one fucking inkling of how depressed you really were. Shit, Mom would have backpacked through Europe with attack dogs if she'd known what was going on."

Edward stared down at the table, unable to meet his brother's eyes. He was totally right. If he hadn't allowed Tanya to feed his already overgrown ego back then, things never would have gotten as bad as they'd become. If he'd only forced himself to speak up when he first had his doubts, things might have turned out completely different.

"Here, eat something," Emmett said, an odd catch in his throat as he looked at him closely for the first time since he'd barged in. He shoved the untouched turkey sandwich towards him across the tabletop. "You look like hammered shit."

And he did. There were dark rings underneath Edward's eyes from numerous sleepless nights, and his skipped meals had caused his cheekbones to become more prominent. His skin had taken on a sallow hue from his lack of sunlight and fresh air, and Emmett wondered when his last shower had been.

They sat together for over a minute in total silence as Edward ate, wincing at the pain in his face every time he had to chew. When he swallowed his food, Emmett could have sworn that his Adam's Apple would slice right through his throat as it bobbed up and down, his neck had gotten so thin.

Clearing his throat nervously, he forced himself to speak. "Alright, fuck it. I'm just gonna ask. Are you strung out?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Cut the bullshit, Edward!" he roared, slamming his fist down on the table and causing the fragile teacup to rattle on it's saucer. "Are you fucked up right now, or not?"

"Why would you think I was fucked up?"

"Because I have _eyes_!" he yelled. "You look horrible! You've lost weight! You obviously haven't been sleeping. I saw all those canvases in the other room; you've been working yourself to the bone! As soon as you disappeared I got worried that you were going to fall off the wagon... I've been fucking terrified for almost _three goddamn months_ that you were gonna turn up dead!" He grabbed the small rattling cup and threw it against the wall, not feeling any better when it shattered into a million tiny pieces. "Now are you actually going to sit there looking like that and tell me that you're _not_ snorting that fucking poison again?"

"It's been three months?" Edward whispered.

"You see?" Emmett bellowed. "You don't even know what fucking day it is, do you? How about the month?"

Edward looked down at the table in silence, trying to remember whether the cleaning staff had changed the sheets yesterday or not. He had told them that he didn't want to be disturbed more than a few times a week, so they had set up a schedule to clean on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays only. After wading through caffeine induced memories, he concluded that no one had been in his room for two full days.

"Is it Sunday?" he guessed.

"Jesus Christ, man. You really aren't sure, are you?"

Edward took a deep breath and looked up to meet his brother's angry glare. "I'm not high, Emmett." When Emmett made to stand up and began pulling his fist back, as if he were ready to deliver a fresh blow to the other side of his face for lying, Edward waved his hands in front of him. "Wait! Wait! Hear me out!"

"Start talking, asshole. You've got about thirty seconds before _both_ of your eyes are swollen shut."

"I swear I'm not high; I haven't touched that shit in well over a year. I can't lie and say that I'm not a little... _strung out_, I guess... but it's not drugs."

"Then what the fuck is it?"

"It's... _her_," he choked out.

"Who, Bella?"

Edward visibly flinched at hearing her name again, as if he'd been slapped in the face. Unable to speak, he simply nodded, a deep look of anguish etched on his features.

"What the—?" Emmett started, cutting himself off and counting to ten before finishing his thought. He was determined to calm down and get some answers out of his halfwit brother if it killed him. "Why the fuck did you break her heart and take off on her if you were only going to hole up here and pine away for her?"

Edward let out a loud sob, reaching forward and grabbing onto Emmett's wrist with all of his strength. "Please," he begged in a harsh gasp, "_Please_ tell me that I did the right thing."

"_The right thing_? How could anything that you've done lately be called the right thing?" Emmett wasn't even trying to be hurtful with his question, it was simply honest bafflement speaking.

"Tell me... tell me that she forgot about me and married that guy. Tell me that she's happy and moving on with her life. Tell me that I didn't give her up for _nothing!_" His last word was strangled by another sob. Emmett watched as he completely broke down in front of him, burying his head in his hands and finally allowing the dam that held back the last of his emotions to shatter.

"Dude, I don't understand anything you're talking about. I thought you were into her; you were _just_ talking about wanting her to end her engagement and then the second she does, you bail. I'm sorry, but that makes no fucking sense whatsoever."

"I got _scared_!" he yelled into his hands before looking up at him. "I was convinced that there was no way she could be feeling what I was feeling. I was terrified that she would give everything up to be with me and then realize that I'm _not fucking worth it_!" Edward wiped blindly at his eyes with the back of his hands, yelping when he rubbed his bruising flesh too roughly. Taking another deep breath to calm himself, he waited a moment before continuing. "I didn't want her to ruin her life to be with me. I've been a selfish fuck my whole life, Emmett. This was the first time I've ever tried to put someone else first. I knew she would eventually be miserable with me... so I took myself out of the equation."

"So you've been here this whole time, wanting and missing her and wishing you'd never left, but trying to sacrifice your happiness for hers? Am I hearing this right?"

"Yeah," he sniffled.

"Then why did you ignore all of us? You could have told us that a long time ago and spared us the worry that you were going to turn up dead any day!"

"I'm sorry! It's just that... after the dinner party... I saw how much you all loved her. There was this sweet, young lovable girl who only ever wanted to help people, and I was corrupting the shit out of her. I had her ready to throw everything she knew away for me and I fucking _loved_ it!" he admitted. "I was so consumed by her... she was all I wanted. And when she told me that she was going to end her engagement, I had this flash of all of your faces being really pissed at me... being ashamed of me for letting you down again. And you know what scared me the most?"

"What?"

"I didn't fucking _care!_ I heard her say those words and even though I knew how disappointed everyone would be in me, all I wanted was to pick her up and throw her over my shoulder and disappear into the sunset and forget about everyone else."

"So, what stopped you?"

"Don't you see? I was doing it all over again. I was being the selfish prick that never thought about anybody else but himself. I stayed in town after the funeral to try and find a way back into the family. I missed everyone so much, but it was all so different after being gone for so many years. I felt so much shame over what I had let my life become, and there I was getting ready to do it all over again! I just couldn't face you guys after that... I just couldn't."

"Edward... when are you going to get over this crazy delusion that Mom and Dad are going to disown you or something? I've done a lot of stupid shit in my life and they have always been there for me. So, you married a total bitch and got hooked on booger sugar... so what? You're still their son, and they will _always_ love you. The same goes for me and Alice." He thought for a moment and chuckled to himself. "Shit, I'd really like to keep beating the crap out of you for this, but it doesn't make me love you any less."

Edward couldn't hold back a smile at that, no matter how much his face ached. It was short-lived, however; the moment his thoughts returned to Bella, he began to choke up again. "I don't know how to fucking exist without her, Em. I know it sounds stupid... I hardly knew her. We spent less than a month together!"

"But you don't feel right when you're alone in your bed at night, do you?" he asked knowingly.

"No! I can't even sleep! She's everywhere... she's haunting me."

"You think about her all day, and if you manage to fall asleep, she's in your dreams, too."

"Yes! Why can't I shake it? Why can't I let her go? I keep telling myself that with enough distance and time, I will finally be able to focus again... but it's only getting worse! Fuck, Em... detox didn't hurt this bad."

"That's just love, bro," he answered simply. "I tried to tell you that. You finally got bitten by the Cullen bug. I don't know what it is about us, but we don't love lightly... _or_ gently. Look at me and Rose; there are times I think I could strangle her dead with my bare hands, she gets under my skin so bad... but I couldn't fucking function without her in my life. She's like my oxygen. She really is the other half of me, and whenever I have to leave her for work, I feel like I've been ripped in two."

"That's how I feel... and it scares the shit out of me! There's no way she could have felt anything like that for me, even if she was having a good time. That's why I was hoping she married him, and at least _something_ good came from my leaving."

"Edward, pull your head out of your ass!" Emmett yelled, his frustration reaching a breaking point.

"Huh?"

"That is not what you want, and you know it! You just want to be able to not feel guilty for leaving her that way. And like it or not, you can't just decide what other people should and shouldn't feel. Who the fuck do you think you are to belittle her feelings and assume that she isn't capable of that kind of love?"

"Wait, no... it's not that I don't think she's capable. It's just that..."

"What?" Emmett growled, growing tired of his excuses.

"Well... why the hell would she feel them for me?" he asked, his voice dripping with insecurity. "I'm not worth it. I didn't bring anything to the table but my dick, and that is not enough to base a relationship on."

"Do you honestly think you're the first couple who hooked up before they worked out the finer details? Shit, Rose sucked me off at some frat party before I even learned her name. We were just drawn to each other, it was insane. And I don't think Alice and Jasper spoke more than ten words to each other the whole first year they were dating, they were too busy fucking like rabbits."

"But this is diff—"

"Edward, she still called off the wedding," Emmett cut in, allowing his words to hang in the air as his confused brother attempted to decipher them.

"But... but... but she," Edward stammered.

"And she moved out of her father's house." He was starting to enjoy this. He didn't really want to hurt Edward any more, but he also didn't think that a little bit of squirming on his part was uncalled for after the shit he'd put everyone through.

"She _moved_? Where? Did she leave town?" Edward was breathing rapidly, only seconds away from a total meltdown.

"Oh, you don't like not knowing where someone you care about is living?" he replied with an evil grin. "Does the possibility of her disappearing off the face of the earth and never hearing from her again bother you?"

"God dammit! Where the fuck is she?" Edward snarled, reaching forward and grabbing Emmett by the shirt with clenched fists.

"Not so nice, is it?" Emmett calmly replied, unflinching in the face of so much rage. He watched as realization slowly dawned on Edward, his face morphing from one of fury to one of anguish. He could actually see the moment where it all sank in, and Edward finally knew what he had done to his family and the woman he loved.

Releasing Emmett's shirt gently and sitting back in his chair, he ran his hands over his face and up into his hair, fisting dirty handfuls with a loud groan. "I've truly lost her, haven't I?" he choked out.

"I don't know, man," he answered honestly. "She was really hurting for a long fucking time. For as much as she's changed, there's still a sadness to her eyes. I don't know if she would take you back now or not, but if there's a chance that your sorry ass is the only thing that will make her happy, then it's my job to drag you back there."

Edward's eyes lit up. "So she's still in Forks?"

"Yes, asshole, she's still in Forks," he sighed.

Edward's face fell as another possibility dawned on him. "But what if she won't see me? What if she refuses to take me back?"

"Then that's her choice to make, but at least you gave her the _choice_. It's a helluva lot better than making all of her decisions for her and running off with your tail between your legs. Besides... even if she makes you jump through hoops, I can't really see her blowing you off completely; she's fucking shacked up in that piece of shit apartment just to be close to you."

"She kept it?" he gasped, a whole new feeling of hope sweeping through him.

"Yeah. I think it's fucked up, personally, but she just tells me to butt out, so I do."

"Then what the fuck are we waiting for?" Edward snapped, jumping up and running into the bedroom. He stopped short in the entrance when he noticed that all of his bags had already been packed and were sitting in the middle of the freshly made bed.

"Our flight's in three hours," Emmett said behind him, clapping his large hand down on his shoulder. "I didn't know what you wanted done with the canvases, so I'm sure you'll need to make some calls." As Edward nodded eagerly and made to reach for his phone, Emmett squeezed harder on his shoulder and yanked him back to his side. "Not so fast, stinky. Do us all a favor and get your skinny ass in the shower; I'm not taking you anywhere looking like that."

An hour later, Edward was cleaner than he'd been in days. His scruffy three day beard had been shaved off, but it only served to highlight his newly bruised skin even more. He had arranged for his paintings to be shipped, and he was bouncing around excitedly as they grabbed his bags and left the hotel.

"Dude, I'm glad to see you so lively and all," Emmett said as they entered the cab for the airport, "but I hope you know that you aren't going straight to her."

Edward's face fell as if someone had flipped a switch. "What do you mean? I need to see her!"

"Yeah, I know. But you need to get yourself together first. You're in no shape to go _wooing_, douchebag. Besides, the entire family is waiting for me to drag you back dead or alive, so I'm pretty sure the inquisition is going to happen as soon as you walk in the door."

"Oh god," Edward groaned.

"Yeah, I know," he said again, chuckling this time. "But you need to let them love you, bro. Give them the chance to show you that they aren't judging you. They may beat your ass worse than I did for a while, but it's only because they've been so worried."

They were both silent for a while as they drove through the busy streets, staring out at the bright lights streaking by in the darkness.

"Emmett?" Edward's quiet voice broke the silence.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

Emmett nodded quickly but didn't say anything, preferring to leave it in silence, but it didn't stop the small smile from reaching his face as he turned to look out the window again.

For the first time in years, he finally felt like he had his brother back.

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OK, what did you think of big brother Emmett coming to save the day? I can't describe how much I REALLY enjoyed having him punch his lights out. (AND telling him to pull his head out of his ass)

I know there was no Bella yet, but at least we know our boy is on his way.

Also, LTIF just won the GLOSP award for "Forbidden Fruit", or the fic you don't want to be caught reading in public! I love some of these creative titles!


	23. Cold

Sorry for the long wait, everyone! I hope all the American readers had a lovely Thanksgiving. Anyway, between the holiday and a oneshot collab contest I entered with my lovely friend Aylah50, I have just been run ragged with NO free time. So, in exchange, I hope you will be appeased by the absolute ENORMITY of this chapter.

P.S. Sham-wow warning in full effect, but you gotta wait for it. ;-p

**Disclaimer: Stephenie owns them, but they own me. And she would be APPALLED at the naughty things they make me write for them. **

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_Looking back at me, I see_

_That I never really got it right_

_I never stopped to think of you_

_I'm always wrapped up in_

_Things I cannot win_

_You are the antidote that gets me by_

_Something strong, like a drug_

_That gets me high_

_What I really meant to say_

_Is I'm sorry for the way I am_

_I never meant to be so cold_

_Never meant to be so cold_

"_Cold" ~ Crossfade _

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As Edward pulled his new rental car into the familiar parking lot, he couldn't stop a fresh wave of nerves from overtaking him when he saw the monstrous truck parked in his old spot.

She was there.

She was there, and he had absolutely no idea how she was going to receive him... or even if she _would_ receive him. He hadn't exactly called her yet to give her a heads up that he was in town; in fact, he still didn't even have her phone number.

That wasn't due to any lack of trying on Emmett's part, either. He had been practically begging him to take it all week, to at least prepare her for what was coming, but Edward wanted nothing to do with it and he swore Rosalie to secrecy, too. She had grouched about it at first, saying that she had the right to warn her friend that the 'selfish prick' was back if she wanted to, but he had managed to convince her that he really did need to do it at his own pace, without anyone's interference.

Truthfully, he didn't want to give her the chance to run away before he could see her again, and there was also a small part of him that hoped she might give him her number herself... if he was brave enough to ask for it. It hadn't escaped him that he had done just about everything under the sun with her that someone could do sexually with another person, yet he was terrified of something as simple as asking for a phone number. That was the kind of thing you were supposed to do when you first met someone you were interested in... not fucking them roughly up against a wall.

They certainly had a problem with doing things backwards.

Edward made his way across the lot, slowly approaching the familiar staircase that led up to the apartment. As he quietly walked up the steps, he couldn't help but recall the last time he'd been in that very spot, carrying an eager Bella upstairs to fuck her eight ways from Sunday.

The same day he'd learned her name. Once again... _backwards_.

He had to force himself to think of something else, already feeling his body responding to the memory. He couldn't help it lately, just the slightest thought of her caused him to react that way; when combined with specific memories of what they had done together, it was damn near painful. The whole time he had been gone, he had felt dead to the world, numb to every sensation but his grief. However, over the last week since he'd been home again, he found that he was more high strung than he'd been in years, as if his entire body was on high alert for Bella... as if it could sense that she was close.

When he'd finally gotten control of his thoughts and his flesh, Edward stepped forward the last few feet and raised his hand to knock. His knuckles were less than an inch from the door when a muffled voice inside made him pause. He pressed his ear to the wood, hoping to make out who he had heard. If she was entertaining company or had a... _guest_... he didn't want to disrupt her night.

"No, Mom... I'm fine. Why do you keep asking me that?" That was definitely her voice, just the sound of it caused a deep ache in his chest. He kept listening for a reply, but there was none; only Bella again.

"It's been months now, for God's sake! You didn't even know Jake, why do you care that it's over?" More silence. "Oh, please! I know you are just concerned, but I'm a big girl. I'm the one who ended it, remember? I wouldn't have done that if I wasn't ready to be alone."

She was obviously talking on the phone, but it didn't stop Edward from listening further. The topic itself was interesting enough, but what he couldn't get over was how lovely her voice sounded; he had somehow forgotten that. He knew it was beautiful... but he had forgotten the way it made him feel whenever he heard it.

"No, I don't feel guilty. I actually just spoke with him the other day, he's doing great … Yeah, really. He took that garage job I told you about in Oregon after Billy kicked him out … I know, he was always a dick. Anyway, he loves it there and he's even dating already … I dunno, some girl named Bree; that's not important right now. What's important is that he called me up out of the blue to _thank_ me. He said he never would have had the courage to move on if I hadn't called bullshit on our entire relationship."

Edward wanted to smack himself after hearing that. If he had only given her a little more time, if he had only trusted her to know what she wanted in life, then they would be together already rather than him standing outside their... _her_ door like a stalker.

He heard her groan in frustration before speaking again. "No, I do _not_ feel lonely all by myself. I actually do way more now than I did living at Dad's and dating Jake. I go out with friends from work now. Hell, I actually _have_ friends from work now. I have a life again. I'm sorry if you think I need a man to make the world go 'round, but I am perfectly content to let that happen in its own time. We can't all be defined by the men we marry. How _is_ Phil, by the way?"

He could hear her pacing around the front room as she listened to her mother prattle, back and forth across the floor, and he could almost taste her desperation to end the call. Without allowing himself to stall another minute, he rapped lightly on the door.

"Hold on a sec, someone's at the door … I don't know who … No, I _don't_ have a peep hole … Yes, Dad has already told me that I should install one. My god, would you just shut it a second?"

Edward held his breath as her footsteps approached, but nothing could have prepared him for what the sight of her might do to him.

Bella opened the door with her cell phone held against her collarbone, a look of mild curiosity on her face. She was still in her scrubs from work, a fact that he was trying very hard not to focus on, and her long hair was swept up into a loose bun. She looked flushed and healthy, and even more beautiful than he had remembered. Once she realized who she was looking at, however, she froze like a deer in headlights, dropping her phone to the floor with a loud thud.

Her mother's voice could be heard throughout the room in that distant, tinny sound one hears when holding the phone away, as if some mouse had suddenly wandered into the apartment and started yelling. When Bella made no move for the phone, continuing to stare at him as if a ghost had appeared, Edward slowly bent over and grabbed it. Without ever taking his eyes from hers, he carefully lifted it up to her face as if she were a caged animal that might strike out at him at any time.

And still, her mother's voice squeaked out between them. "Bella? Are you alright? Do I need to call your father? _Hello_?"

He watched as she blinked a few times rapidly, as if only noticing the voice for the first time. She glanced at the cell phone and swallowed quickly, reaching up to pull it from his fingers without allowing their skin to touch. When she had a firm grasp on it again, she held it to her ear.

"Mom, I'm sorry, I have to let you go." Her eyes were back on his as she listened for another moment. "No, everything's fine; I just dropped the phone... but I _do_ need to hang up now. Talk to you soon." Without waiting to hear another word, she ended the call and tossed the phone on the half-round table against the wall.

Bella stared at him for another thirty seconds in complete silence.

"What... what are you doing here?" she finally whispered.

Edward fought off the urge to pull her close, wanting nothing more than to hold her in his arms again, but knowing that he needed to go about things very carefully to avoid scaring her away.

"May I please come in?"

She rocked on her feet briefly, startled at the effect that his words had on her body. The velvety richness of his voice washed over her in a tidal wave of heat, and for a second she felt as though she had just been given her first drops of water after wandering the desert for days.

He looked different to her somehow, but still achingly beautiful. He was a bit thinner... and there was a less haunted look to his eyes. Instead, they looked more... determined. And _bruised_.

"What happened to your eye?" she gasped, stopping her hand in mid air as she reached out to touch the yellow and purple skin, dropping it back down to her side quickly.

"Emmett."

"Oh." Her face fell. "Is that why you're here?"

"No," he answered instantly. "Well... yes and no," he amended, trying to be as truthful as possible.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"If you'll let me in, I'll try to explain it the best that I can."

"Oh, an _explanation_?" she replied sarcastically. "Why on earth would you think I deserved one now? You never did before." She was surprised at her own bitterness, always thinking up until that point that she would be happy just to have him back in her life in any way possible.

"I know... and I'm sorry. I want to fix that. Can we please go inside and talk?" It was taking all of his strength to keep from touching her. Even the slightest brush of his fingers against her bare arm might set him off again, and that was not the impression he wanted to make at that moment.

"I'm shocked that you didn't just use your key and barge in here like you still owned the place. I mean, it's only been _three fucking months_, why would that be odd?"

If she only knew how close he'd been to doing that very thing.

"Bella... _please_," he choked out.

"Alright," she sighed, unable to handle the look of anguish on his face. That combined with the bruising was just too much. Standing aside, she ushered him inside with an exaggerated wave of her arm.

"Thank you," he said quietly as he passed her, stopping in the middle of the room as she shut the door. After an awkward silence in which they simply stared at each other, Edward took a deep breath and bit the bullet. "So..." he exhaled loudly.

"So..." she returned, visibly as nervous as he was. Her emotions were running the gamut from angry to worried to excited. She honestly had no idea why he was standing in front of her in the little room that had once been their own private sanctuary; she only knew that something deep inside of her finally felt _right_ again, despite her anger.

Edward glanced around, really taking notice of his surroundings for the first time. "Wow... I can't believe this is the same place." He turned slowly, making mental comparisons to what it had looked like before. "It's so... comfortable. So lived in."

"Thank you," she said sincerely. "I really like it. Alice and Rose helped me put it together."

"Yes, I'd heard that. It seems that they are both quite taken with you. Not to mention Emmett," he added with a grimace, gently touching his discolored cheekbone. It had made amazing progress in healing over the last week; the swelling had gone down and he could open his eye easily again, but the dark splotches were slower to disappear.

Fighting back the urge to show concern for his face again, Bella was overcome with a sudden rush of rage. "Oh _really_? You'd heard that, huh? Well, it seems that one of us is at a disadvantage, because while you were apparently getting regular updates on _me_, I haven't heard _one fucking word_ about you!"

Edward made to grab her shoulders to calm her down, but stopped himself halfway there and simply held his hands up in surrender between them. "Hey... hey... it's not like that."

"I think you need to start talking _now_, because I'm getting angrier by the second," she fumed.

"Here, let's sit down," he said, gesturing to the loveseat. He ignored the large bed that he saw from the corner of his eye when they passed the bedroom door, refusing to think of his fond memories from that room and his desire to create new ones.

When they had settled on the cushions, both instinctively sitting as far away from the other as they could, they turned to face each other with their backs against the armrests. Bella tucked one of her legs up under her other knee and crossed her arms, giving off the impression of hostility, but really hoping to just hold herself back long enough to keep from jumping on him.

It was true that she was angry; she was confused and upset and unsure of her own shifting emotions... but that didn't make him any less attractive to her. She wanted to kiss his bruises and hold him for hours. Then she wanted to throttle him.

Edward cleared his throat nervously. "Well, first off... let me start by saying that I _wasn't_ getting regular updates on you. Nobody even knew where I was until last week when Emmett showed up out of nowhere and punched my lights out."

_Good!_ Bella felt like saying, but held her tongue. She couldn't allow herself to say it when she knew that she didn't mean it. She didn't think that violence was the only way to solve things and she hated to think of him swollen and in pain, but she also knew Emmett good enough by then to know that he had to have been very scared, worried, and hurt to have done that to his own brother. It didn't exactly excuse it in her eyes, but she could certainly understand it.

"And where _were_ you?"

Edward watched her mouth form the words as she spoke and felt a pang of desire in his stomach. When he realized that she had actually asked him a question, he shook his head quickly and fought to regain his composure.

"Uh... holed up in a hotel room in New York." He brushed his hands roughly over his face and hissed when he bumped the sore flesh. "Ouch. Anyway, I sort of cut myself off from everyone. I wasn't even taking their calls."

"How could you do that to them?" she gasped. "They care so much about you!"

"I know that... now," he sighed. "There is a lot of backstory between me and my family that you don't know, and I have only now begun to see how much time I have truly lost with them. But luckily, it seems as though their love outweighs their frustration with me."

That was yet another thing that Bella could certainly understand.

"Am _I_ ever going to hear any of this backstory?" she asked, her curiosity piqued.

He smiled gently. "Actually... I'd love to tell you anything that you'd like to know about me. And there's even more that I want to learn about you." He looked into her eyes and took a deep breath. "Will you allow me the chance to get to know you, Bella? To _really_ get to know you?"

"What... um... what did you have in mind?" she whispered.

"Well," he swallowed roughly, "I was thinking that we might... go out? For starters, that is."

"You want to take me on a date?" she asked, her head swimming with a mixture of apprehension and elation. "Like... a _real_ date?"

"Well... more than one, if you'll let me." He started to fidget a bit and she could swear that she saw a hint of a blush tinting his cheeks. "I'm sorry, I'm terrible at this, I know. It's just that I've never really _done_ this before."

"What, dated?"

"Yeah. I don't think I've ever even asked anyone out before." He definitely blushed that time. "I went from single to married to widowed, and it was like all of those things just... _happened_ to me. Does that make sense? Like I was sort of being led about, never making my own choices in life."

"I guess I get it," she said after thinking about it for a while. "But... it also sounds like you _allowed_ it to happen to you."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you didn't _have_ to marry her. And once you found out what she was really like, you didn't have to stay with her as long as you did, either. It sounds like you just... laid back and took what was handed to you... without ever bothering to search out anything better." She looked him in the eye again, suddenly worried that she had misspoken. "I'm sure that's over-simplifying your situation, I hope that doesn't offend you. I know that I don't have a lot of the details yet."

"No... I'm not offended," he said slowly, a bit rattled that she had hit the nail on the head so easily. "That's actually pretty accurate. I guess I just never thought that anything better was really out there; I figured it would all be more of the same." He met her gaze again before adding, "I've never had a reason to _want_ to make a choice before."

Bella gulped so loudly that he could hear it.

"But you do now?" she barely squeaked out.

His eyes began to smolder, becoming scorching jade pools before he answered her. "I do now." She felt that she was drowning in those eyes, about to go under and not really caring any more. "Bella, may I please take you to dinner tomorrow night?"

The breath in her lungs whooshed out, making her feel instantly lightheaded. She was balanced on the edge of a cliff, wobbling back and forth. It was there in the distance... she could just see it out of reach. Surrender. All she had to do was let go.

Bella closed her eyes and jumped.

"Yes."

"Really?" he smiled, and it was brighter than the sun. "Thank you, Bella. Thank you so much. I know I haven't given you any reasons to give me a chance." He leaned forward without thinking and placed his hand on her knee.

They both froze.

Two pairs of eyes stared at his hand as if it might start talking.

Bella braced herself against the onslaught of emotions that coursed through her body as his fingers rested on her knee: fear, resentment, need and lust. They were all battling each other for dominance, and none of them were winning.

Their skin wasn't even touching, she was still wearing her scrub pants, but she would swear on a stack of bibles that she could feel the electric current passing between them once again. It was scary... but familiar. It instantly reminded her of so many heated encounters that had taken place in that very apartment.

And judging from the panicked look on Edward's face, _he_ was remembering them all, too.

"I should go," he blurted out, standing up quickly. Bella forced herself not to whimper at the instant coldness she felt at the loss of his touch.

"So soon?" she said, still a bit dazed from the unexpected contact. She stood up slowly and followed him to the door, trying desperately to clear her mind of all the cobwebs.

"Yes," he nodded curtly. "I think it's for the best."

"But I thought we were going to talk? You still haven't given me much of an explanation."

"I know," he sighed, his hand resting on the doorknob. He kept his back to her, never looking back at her as he spoke. "It's coming, I promise. I was just hoping that we could discuss it all over dinner tomorrow."

"Edward... what's wrong?" She could see a shudder pass through his body when she said his name.

"Nothing," he gritted out between his teeth.

"I don't think I believe you," she huffed. "If this is how things are going to be already, then perhaps we should just forget about it." It killed her to say that out loud, but having him near her wouldn't mean anything if she was always worried that he was lying and ready to bolt for the door.

"No, please!" he gasped, finally turning to face her completely. He didn't move any closer, but he made eye contact. "Bella... please."

"Then tell me what's wrong."

He looked uncomfortable and embarrassed, and it was the oddest thing she'd ever seen. Edward always owned any room he was in, his self-confidence practically oozed out of his pores. She had never seen this vulnerable side of him before, and if someone had forced her to bet on it three months ago, she would have sworn that it didn't exist. Even when she had first met him and he'd seemed so broken, he still had a carefully constructed wall around him.

"Bella..." he begged one last time, but when she crossed her arms and arched an eyebrow, he knew it was now or never. _Fuck, she's sexy when she's pissed._ He exhaled loudly, visibly defeated. "I'm sorry to end the night so abruptly. I had really only hoped that you would hear me out long enough to agree to go to dinner. I knew that was a longshot in itself, so I wasn't really prepared to... stay longer."

"What do you mean?" she asked. "What does it matter if we talk tonight or tomorrow?"

"I wasn't..." he took a deep breath. "I wasn't ready for this." At the hurt look on her face he was quick to clarify, "Not _this_, as in you and me." He gestured back and forth between them with his hand. "I've dreamt of nothing more than that for longer than you'll ever know."

Bella suddenly wondered how gravity worked. Somehow she was still standing in one place, but her heart was definitely soaring somewhere up in the clouds after hearing that.

"I meant that I wasn't ready for how intense this would feel... being back here again. Being this close to you again. I want to give you time to get used to the idea of _us_... but if I don't get the fuck out of here right now I'm going to do something we'll both regret."

"Why would we regret it?" She whispered breathlessly, her mind flashing to vivid images of his sweaty flesh as it covered her in the darkness.

He groaned at her words, closing his eyes briefly to strengthen his resolve. "Because," he answered honestly, "I think that you would be angry with yourself for not waiting until you get some more answers out of me."

"And you?" she pressed, choosing to ignore how right he was. "What would _you_ regret?"

"That's easy. I would hate myself for not making you believe how much you mean to me first. I spent way too fucking long allowing you to think that you were nothing but a warm body to me. It's not true... and I need to make you _believe_ it."

_Oh Sweet Jesus! _She knew then that her heart had returned to her body, because it was suddenly thudding so loudly that she was surprised he couldn't hear it across the room.

"Okay... so, tomorrow night, then?" she said, knowing that if he didn't leave soon she couldn't be held responsible for what she did to him.

"Yes," he smiled knowingly. "Is it alright if I call you tomorrow to set up a time? I need to make a few arrangements."

"Call me?" she mumbled. The thought seemed so absurd to her. Otherworldly creatures such as sex gods surely didn't use something as mundane as a phone. "Uh... yeah, sure. Call me tomorrow."

"I need your number," he said nonchalantly, as if he asked beautiful women for their numbers everyday... as if the mere thought of her willingly giving him her number didn't make him want to cry with happiness.

"Oh!" she said, wanting to smack herself in the forehead. "That might help, huh? Let me see your phone." She held out her hand, slowly walking forward until she was standing right in front of him.

Edward pulled his cell from his pocket and dropped it in her open hand, careful to avoid making contact again. As he watched her quickly enter the numbers that he'd been obsessing over all day, he took a deep breath, tasting her on the air as he breathed her in. Fire shot through his veins, traveling along his body rapidly until it settled into his fingertips, making them itch to touch her.

"There," she smiled, holding the phone back out to him. "All programmed."

"Thank you." This time he allowed his fingers to slightly brush against hers as he took it back from her, watching for her reaction.

Bella gasped quietly and froze, staring up at him with heavy-lidded eyes. "Um... I think you _should_ probably go now... _Edward_." Her voice dropped to a husky whisper when she said his name, causing his aching erection to twitch.

He nodded, knowing that it was her way of telling him that she wanted him just as badly, but that she was allowing him to set the pace. Taking her cue, he opened the door quickly and stepped into the hallway, as if being on the other side of the wall might actually weaken his desire enough that he wouldn't still want to attack her. It didn't.

"Until tomorrow, then. Goodnight... _Bella_."

She slowly closed the door, never breaking eye contact with him as the opening became smaller and smaller. He made no move toward the stairs for as long as he could still see her, and right before the door clicked shut he shot her a wink and licked his lips.

The loud whimper he could hear through the wall as he walked away had him chuckling to himself all the way to his car. It certainly hadn't helped the epic state of arousal he was in, but just knowing that Bella was willing to give him a chance and obviously still wanted him was enough to make him feel lighter than he had in... well, years. She'd always had a way of making him feel alive when no one else could, but now she was giving him something really worth living _for_.

As soon as Edward had shut his car door, he was unbuttoning the fly of his jeans. He had already looked around the dark parking lot to make sure that he was alone as he'd walked to his car, knowing full well that he would never be able to make it back home first. He hadn't been so painfully and urgently aroused in months... pretty much since the last time he had been with Bella.

Gripping his erection roughly, he made fast work of things, remembering how she had felt when she'd straddled him that dark night in his car. He could see her, smell her, and if he squeezed tight enough... he could _feel_ her. He had no interest in making things last or being gentle this time, needing the release more than even oxygen.

It took exactly thirty-two rapid pumps of his fist and the memory of her screaming his name before he was groaning loudly and slumping over, spilling his hot seed into the palm of his hand.

After he'd cleaned himself up with some napkins he found in the glove box, Edward made the lonely drive back to the edge of town, where his parents were probably waiting up like he was a teenager to learn how his first attempt at _wooing_ had gone. They had all been so full of support for him over the last week, it made him feel even more foolish that he'd waited so long to turn to them.

When he'd first arrived back home with Emmett, scrawny and bruised, everyone had different reactions. Rosalie had damn near ripped him a new asshole before tearing up and hugging him, whispering that she would have kicked him in the nuts as well as punched him if it had been her to find him. Alice was as hyper as a humming bird, asking him thirty questions a second and bouncing up and down until she had her answers. Jasper simply stood back and reeled her in when she got out of control, which Edward would be eternally grateful for. Esme just cried and hugged him, begging him to please come home if things ever got that bad again. Carlisle was unsurprisingly the most stoic of the group, simply putting his arm around his shoulders and patting him on the back, mumbling a quiet "Welcome home, son" as he wiped at a suspicious drop of moisture in the corner of his eye.

None of them had judged him for his lifestyle or his addiction, they were simply hurt that he hadn't had the faith to trust in them. They were also _thrilled_ with his hopes for him and Bella, none of them chastising him for the fact that he'd been secretly seeing her when she was still engaged. Perhaps if they hadn't already known her as well as they did, they might have frowned a bit, but while he had been gone they had all formed close attachments to her. Apparently his entire family had a better idea of just how unhappy she'd been in her previous life than he did. It seemed that actually _talking_ about things helped you to understand quite a bit about people.

After his siblings had gone back to their homes in Seattle, his mother had made it her personal mission to fatten him back up. She'd been cooking the most heart-stopping, stick-to-your-ribs meals all week, and he'd already gained five pounds. He was still a bit on the thinner side compared to how he'd looked before, but his cheekbones had some flesh around them now and his eyes no longer looked empty. Although, he knew that last part had much more to do with the love and support of his family than any food he ate.

As Edward pulled the car into the driveway, he wasn't surprised to see a light on inside. Just as he'd suspected, Carlisle and Esme were both sitting up in the kitchen, _casually_ playing a game of cards. When he walked into the room his mother's face lit up.

"Oh, Edward, dear! You're back early."

"I was just going to say that you're up late," he returned.

"Nonsense, it's not even ten o'clock yet."

"Yes, but aren't you both usually up in bed by now, watching television?"

"Don't be silly. We sit up playing cards all the time."

"Alright, Mom. If you say so," he rolled his eyes. His father at least had the decency to look sheepish, knowing that their ruse hadn't worked. Edward looked back and forth at their expectant faces and decided to go easy on them. "Would you like to hear how my evening went?"

"Only if you care to share, sweetheart," Esme answered, and he nearly laughed out loud. She couldn't have been more on the edge of her seat if she'd tried.

"She was a bit hesitant at first, but she's agreed to let me take her to dinner tomorrow night."

"Oh, that's _wonderful_!" she gasped, jumping up to hug him tightly. "I'm so proud of you for refusing to give up. Where are you going to take her?"

"I have no idea," he blushed. "I was so worried about getting her to say yes that I didn't plan that far ahead. What the hell is there to do in _Forks_?"

"Hm..." she thought. "Well, not a lot, honestly. There are some casual things to do with someone you are already dating, but nothing for making great first impressions. You'll probably need to take her to Port Angeles for dinner; they have a few nice restaurants there."

"Thanks. I'll look into it," he smiled, leaning down to give her a hug.

Esme kissed his cheek as she pulled away and sighed loudly. "I'm just so happy for you. Things are going to be different now, I can feel it." And without another word, she turned and went up to bed.

Once she had left the room, Carlisle walked up to him and stared him down. "So... you spoke with Bella. Is that _all_ that happened?"

Edward turned beet red before answering, "Not that it's any of your business, but _yes_, that's all that happened."

"Good for you son," he smiled, clapping him on the shoulder. "I'm glad you listened to me. I know that you two have unbelievable... _chemistry_ together, but she'll never be able to take you seriously right now if you're always trying to get in her pants."

"_Dad_!"

"What? Just because it's your old man talking, it doesn't make it any less true."

They shared an awkward goodnight after that, and Edward went up to his bedroom. He sat up sketching a few different ideas for a new painting for a while before he decided to call it a night. As he climbed into bed, a thought struck him that made him jump back out and grab his phone.

Scrolling through his contact list, his breath caught when he found it. Bella's number. He finally had the woman of his dreams only the press of a button away. As much as he wanted to call her and hear her voice before bed, he figured that she would probably be asleep already. He also knew that hearing her voice at that moment would get his hormones going all over again, so he decided to just send a quick text message; that way she could see it when she woke up in the morning.

_**Just realized that I never gave you my number. Now you can reach me in case you ever need anything. ~E**_

Feeling instantly better knowing that was out there, he sat his phone next to him on his nightstand and settled into bed, ready to sleep comfortably for the first night in months. What he hadn't been expecting was to hear his phone buzzing with a quick reply. He picked it up with a shaking hand and opened the message.

_**Great, thanks! But I'm trying to be good, so I won't tell you what I really need right now. Looking forward to tomorrow. ;-) ~B**_

Well, apparently he could achieve a raging erection _without_ hearing her voice, too. She had done the job just as well by text. Sighing loudly in the darkness, Edward rolled over and set the phone back down, sliding open the drawer underneath and pulling out a small bottle of lube. As he squirted some in his hand and rolled onto his back to take care of business, he wondered how the hell he was going to make it through an entire evening with her.

~/LTIF\~

The following day was Saturday, so it gave Bella time to get herself ready. She spent all day pampering herself, going to the salon for a facial and a mani/pedi, and even though sex was supposedly off the table for a while, she threw in a wax for good measure. Hopefully it wouldn't be _too_ long, and it was always good to be prepared.

She had hoped he might text her back after her little note the night before, but he hadn't taken the bait. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate what he was trying to do, but she was hoping that they might have a little bit of fun in the meantime. And really, what could be more fun than some naughty sexting with Edward?

Around one o'clock her phone rang, and her heart skipped a beat when she heard the new ringtone she had set for him, _Business Time_ by Flight of the Conchords. He called to let her know that he would be picking her up around six-thirty that night to take her to Port Angeles, and he also asked if she liked Italian food. When everything had been finalized she told him that she couldn't wait to see him again, and he had made a funny choking sound and told her he needed to go.

When she got back home that afternoon, she started the horrible task of trying to find something to wear. Although she had a closet full of new clothes after her trip to Seattle with the girls, it was no little task. There was almost _too much_ to choose from now, and her head started to swim. Sighing in defeat, she reached for her phone.

Alice picked up on the second ring. "_So_? Any big plans tonight?" she asked when she answered, as if they were already mid-conversation.

"How did you know that?" Bella asked with a huff. "And don't think I'm not totally pissed at you for not telling me that he was back in town."

"Hey, don't take it out on me. I would have called you that night if I could have, and so would Rose. He swore us all to secrecy because he wanted some time to get his shit together."

"I'm just saying that a little heads up would have been nice. Maybe I had some shit to get together, too."

"Bella, you've had three months to do that. You're much more ready for this than he is, so you're actually at an advantage here. You can call all the shots this time."

"I don't care about calling all the shots. I just want to feel comfortable with him again. I feel like I'm a high schooler getting ready for the prom, for fuck's sake!"

"It will come in time, don't worry." She sounded so calm that Bella wanted to slap her. "So, what did you call for, anyway? Was it just to yell at me or did you need something?"

"I hate doing this because I know you are going to squeal... but I need help deciding what to wear." She held the phone away from her ear, the loud screeching on the other end echoing throughout the room. "Good lord, are you done yet?" she teased when she felt brave enough to lift the phone up again.

"Oh this is just perfect! I will bring you over to the dark side yet, young Skywalker." Alice loved to picture herself as being the head of an evil empire of fashion fierceness.

They spoke about the date, where they might be going and how formal it might be. After deciding on an elegant wrap dress and the perfect pair of heels, Alice's voice became concerned.

"Hey, all of the fun stuff aside... are you really okay with this?"

"Okay with what? Having you help me? Of course, or I wouldn't have called."

"No, no. Everything with Edward. This date. Giving things a real try with him even though he hurt you so badly."

"I'm not sure," Bella said honestly. "Part of me feels like I'm walking on eggshells, and the other part feels like a giddy schoolgirl who is getting everything she ever wanted. I'll admit that I'm still feeling a little resentful, but I've only ever wanted him back... that's never changed. Now that I have that chance, I really don't want to spend the rest of my life making him eat shit."

"So you're just gonna forgive and forget it all? I mean, I love my brother dearly and I hope this all works out, but if it were me, I might make him sweat a bit."

"Yes, but what you guys keep forgetting is that he promised me nothing before, and I was the one who hoped for everything. I wasn't even officially single and I had planned my whole future with him. I should have dumped Jake a lot faster than I did, and made myself truly available. _I_ am the one who set myself up to be hurt so badly, so while I might appreciate an explanation from him as to why he took off like that, I still couldn't ever imagine turning him away this time."

"Wow, you're better than me. I would be trying to find ways to get even."

"But get even for _what_? Not saying goodbye? Yeah, that stung like a motherfucker, but even if he hadn't been such a chickenshit about it and had told me why he was leaving, it was still his right to leave. Just because one person is okay with how something is working doesn't mean the other person is. That would be like saying nobody ever has the right to end a relationship because the other person is content."

"Yeah, I guess... but—"

"But what?" Bella interrupted. "Think about it: he didn't cheat on me, he didn't lie to me, and he would never hit me. He just... left. It hurt and I missed him like crazy, but if he's willing to give it a real try, then so am I."

"Well I guess you have your answer now, don't you?" She could hear Alice's smile through the phone.

"You little shit, you did that just to drag my real feelings out, didn't you?"

"But you're sure now, aren't you?" Alice giggled.

"Okay, I'm letting you go now. You're too evil for me, Darth." Bella ended the call, frustrated but laughing.

When six-thirty finally arrived, she was dressed in a curve-hugging dark blue silk wrap dress and a killer pair of black Christian Louboutin Greissimo shoes. Her hair was styled with loose curls that were hanging down over her shoulders, and she wore a light dusting of makeup to even out her skin tones. She was watching the clock nervously and pacing around the room, hoping that she wasn't making the biggest mistake of her life.

When the knock sounded at her door a few minutes later she almost jumped, somehow missing the sound of his footsteps up the stairs. She rushed to the door, stopping briefly to take a deep breath and calm down, but it turned out to be pointless once she got a good look at her date.

Edward was literally breathtaking.

He was standing before her wearing a mouth-watering charcoal gray suit that she could only assume had a designer label and a sleek black tie. It was clearly tailored to fit his broad shoulders, and it somehow even made his bruised face look civilized, as if he were some bad-boy rich kid who got punched out at a casino in Monte Carlo. To put it simply: Edward was Fuck. Hot.

It took her a moment to find her words, and before she could speak he cut her off. "Wow," he breathed. "You look... amazing."

"That's funny," she laughed softly. "I was going to say the exact same thing about you."

"Here, I... brought you these," he said as a telltale pink colored his cheeks. She looked down to see his hand holding out a gorgeous bouquet of roses and stargazer lilies.

"Oh Edward, they're so lovely! Please, come in while I put them in some water."

As she walked into the kitchen he followed behind her, leaving the front door wide open on purpose, secretly hoping that having it open might prevent him from grabbing her and throwing her down on the floor. She looked so unbelievably sexy in that wrap dress... just thinking about what one tiny little tug on the tie could do had him adjusting himself in his pants already. Also, he'd never seen her wearing anything other than sneakers or boots; the full-on fuck me heels that she was sporting now were worthy of their very own fetish.

He hovered in the entrance to the kitchen, leaning against the door frame as he watched her grabbing a vase under the sink. The sight of her bending over made him groan under his breath, but it was masked by a loud yowl from down by his feet. He looked down to see a tubby orange tabby cat pawing at his legs.

"Well, hello there," he smiled, bending down and scratching the cat's head. "I don't think I've met _you_ before." Another yowl came from behind him. Edward turned his head to see an identical cat staring up at him before it stood up and perched its front paws on his thigh. "Or you!" he laughed.

"I see you've met my babies," Bella chuckled, crouching down next to him and flashing a decent amount of cleavage as she did so. "Edward Cullen, this is Wembley and Boober."

"I guess we're down at Fraggle Rock, huh?" he laughed loudly, scratching each one on the head simultaneously. "Those are great names. But how on earth do you tell them apart?"

"Well, Wembley's the fat one."

"I hate to break it to you, but they're _both_ on the portly side."

"I know, I know. I guess I'm just used to them. They have different stripe patterns around their eyes if you look close enough. Anyway, I'm all done if you want to get going."

"Okay, great," he smiled, scratching each cat on the head one more time before standing up.

"C'mon guys, stop being beggars. Mommy already fed you and he doesn't have any treats," she said to the cats, shooing them away from the kitchen.

"Why didn't I see them here last night?" he asked on the way out the door.

"Oh, they were at my dad's house. Sometimes when I'm working and he's not, I drop them off there for the day, sort of like kitty day care. I don't need to, they're perfectly fine on their own for a while, but ever since I moved out my dad sort of misses them. _He's_ the one who suggested it," she laughed.

Edward escorted her downstairs to his waiting car, and she gasped when she saw the sleek black Mercedes. "What happened to the Volvo?"

"That was a rental. I have a different one now back at the house, but this one is my dad's. Is it too pretentious? I just wanted to take you out in style."

"No, not at all," she said as she adjusted her safety belt. "I think it's very elegant. Thank you for going to so much effort for me tonight."

Edward turned to face her, illuminated by only the dashboard light. "You're worth it, Bella."

She was thankful that the darkness of the car hid her blush.

They made polite conversation the entire way to Port Angeles, each of them sneaking longing looks at the other when they had the chance, and when they pulled up in front of the restaurant she nearly laughed at the name. It was called Bella Italia.

"I hope you don't think it's cheesy," he said as he ushered her inside. "It was one of the nicest places in town, and when I saw the name I figured it was a sign."

"No, not at all... I think it's charming, actually. I've never... oh, nevermind."

"Please," he said as they were seated. "What were you saying? You've never?"

"Well... I've never had anyone put so much thought into anything like this for me. Don't get me wrong, I don't need to be wined and dined to be impressed, but this?" She gestured around the room. "This is impressive."

Edward smiled and reached across the table, taking her hand in his. He stroked his thumb across the backs of her knuckles in small circles as he looked deeply into her eyes. "I'm so happy that you are enjoying yourself."

He didn't add that there was no reason she should be so moved by a simple Italian restaurant when there were places he'd taken Tanya that cost more than most people's car payments. She hadn't even batted an eye at the cost either, taking it all in as her due. That was one of the things he was beginning to treasure about Bella; she actually _appreciated_ things. Hell, just thinking of how she'd teared up when he made her a fucking sandwich was enough to make him want to shower her with diamonds and sapphires. And then shower _with_ her.

They talked and laughed as they ate, feeling more comfortable with each other by the minute. Bella updated him on all of the new changes in her life, including the fact that she was saving up for a trip to New Zealand. She had no idea how long it would take her to save enough, but even if it was still a few years away, she didn't care; she was just happy to finally be doing something for herself.

After a while, Edward turned the conversation in a more serious direction, needing to finally be up front with her about why he left. He explained about his fears and hesitations, and how he had truly thought he was doing right by her. He filled her in briefly on what she still needed to know about him and Tanya and their rocky past full of addictions. He apologized again for leaving the way he did, and then shared the story of how Emmett had found him and literally knocked some sense into him.

"When I asked you last night if that was why you were coming to see me, you said 'yes _and_ no.' What did you mean by that?" Bella asked, handling the subject matter much better than Edward had hoped for.

"I guess I just meant that technically... _yes_, his punching me out was what finally got me motivated to get off my brooding ass and come back here to fight for you. But _no_... it wasn't what made me want to do it." He reached over and took her hand again, fighting to ignore the instant jolt he felt at the contact. "You've got to believe me, Bella. I thought of nothing else for months... I just honestly figured that you had gotten married and it was too late. I let myself get sucked into some sort of downward pity spiral, convinced that I was too damaged and not good enough for anybody, even my own family. I should have given them more credit than that... and I should have had faith in you."

Bella wiped her eyes quickly and patted the back of his hand with her own. "I think that's possibly the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me, and I feel the same way. I should have ended things with my ex so much sooner and told you how I was starting to feel about you, your little privacy rules be damned. I guess I was too scared that you would reject me."

He swallowed uncomfortably. "Man, I guess I didn't help that perception by running away like a thief in the night, did I? I have to be honest and say that I think I also panicked because things went from playful to serious way faster than I expected. It was all such a romantic notion, having this unattainable lover who was keeping me a secret... it made me want you for myself even more. And then when I found out that not only were you actually leaving him, but you were also friends with my entire family and they loved you? I just started freaking out, trying to convince myself that nothing could be so perfect. I was so wrong... because to me, you _are_ perfect."

She wiped another tear from the corner of her eye, blinking rapidly until she could see him clearly again. "Maybe you should wait 'til you get to know me better. I'm far from perfect, Edward."

"But that's another thing that makes you perfect for _me_."

After they had lingered at their table for over two hours, sharing an order of tirimisu as they talked, Edward signaled for the check. As they walked to the car, he asked her if he could take her out for coffee before they headed back.

"Of course, but I'm sure they had coffee at the restaurant," she said, confused.

"I know, but there's a place I've been meaning to check out a few blocks away. They showcase local art and have live music, and they're open late tonight for a special performance."

"That sounds lovely," Bella smiled.

He drove them to The Blackbird Coffeehouse, and although it was obvious that they were way overdressed, Bella found the place charming. They grabbed a small table in the back and listened to an adorable girl with a ukelele sing the most quirky, beautiful songs about unicorns and rainbows and love and heartache. They sat with their heads together for almost an hour, whispering questions and answers during the song breaks about their favorite music and artists. Bella leaned her head on his shoulder at one point and he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her even closer in silence, both of them touched by how right it felt.

When the set was over, Edward bought two CD's that the singer was selling on the way out, overpaying her for them and thanking her for a great show. When Bella asked why he'd bought two, he explained that this way they could each have one as a souvenir of their first date together.

She knew without even listening to it yet that it was already her favorite CD that she'd ever owned.

The drive back to Forks was fairly quiet, both of their minds preoccupied with arousal and self-restraint. When they arrived back at her building he walked her upstairs, both of them stopping to face each other in the hallway when she opened the door.

"Bella... thank you so much for joining me tonight," he said quietly. "I had a wonderful evening; I hope you did, too."

"I had an excellent time; it was all so amazing. Thank you."

The silence was deafening as they stared openly at each other's lips. As if they were being pulled together by magnets, their bodies drifted towards each other almost unconsciously. When they were only mere inches apart, he raised his hand slowly and cupped her cheek, as if he were holding the most priceless, fragile treasure in existence.

"_Bella_," he gasped, and she could feel his hand shaking.

"What's wrong?" she whispered, almost against his lips. She could tell he was holding back even the simplest of kisses.

"I just can't believe that you're really in my arms again. Dreams aren't supposed to come true twice... I don't want to fuck this up."

"Edward," she whimpered, "_Please_ kiss me!"

Unable to resist her plea, he finally closed the distance, covering her mouth with his own. He had intended for it to be soft and gentle, only a taste of his forbidden fruit, but when she cried out and shoved her hands into his hair he went a little mad. A loud groan tore from his throat as he drove the tip of his tongue between her succulent lips, instantly tangling it with hers. The silky texture he felt there brought so many memories flooding back to him that he feared he might cry, both out of frustration and actually being able to experience them again.

His arms wrapped around her waist tightly as he shoved her back against the doorframe, grunting into her mouth when he felt his erection brush against her stomach. Bella moaned and rubbed herself against him more firmly, causing starbursts to explode behind his eyes.

"_Edward_," she panted as she came up for air. "Do you want to come inside?" She knew that if she hadn't spoken, things probably would have continued on seamlessly, but she also wanted it to be his conscious choice. They both had a tendency to get carried away when they were near each other, and the last thing she wanted was for him to regret anything about their time together.

She could see the very moment that awareness of his surroundings entered his heated gaze, and suddenly it was his turn to whimper. Dropping his forehead to her shoulder, he took a few deep breaths before slowly pulling away.

"It's not a question of _want_," he choked out, squeezing his eyes shut tightly and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Of _course_ I want to... but I promised myself that I wouldn't. Not yet."

"What is it that you're still waiting for?" she asked softly.

"I need to make you truly believe how important you are to me first. I don't think I've done enough yet."

"Edward, I'm not looking for penance."

"I know... but there is something that I'm arranging... something that I hope to do very soon. If we can manage to wait until then, I think you will finally see."

"Alright," she sighed, feeling like a horny teenage boy, getting slapped for sticking his hand up his date's skirt. "I don't want to make you regret something that should be wonderful."

"Thank you for understanding, Bella."

"But for the record, I am ready and willing whenever you are."

He groaned again and nodded, kissing her chastely on the cheek before pulling away from temptation.

"Thank you, again for tonight," he smiled weakly. "I'll call you soon."

"I'd like that."

She stood in the doorway until he was gone, missing him already. She felt hollow and swollen, and there were parts on her that ached that she had previously left for dead.

Taking her time getting ready for bed, she skipped pajamas due to the heightened state of arousal her body was in. Slipping under the covers, she had just begun to slide her hand between her legs when her phone rang. She would have ignored it completely and called whoever it was back later, but it was Edward's ringtone.

"Hello?"

"Bella?" his velvety sexiness oozed through the receiver. "I know it's late... and I just left you... but would it be ridiculous to admit that I really wanted your voice to be the last thing I heard tonight?"

"No," she smiled. "Not at all. I was just thinking of your voice, too. Well, not _only_ that, but it's wonderful to hear again right now."

"Are you angry with me about earlier? I hope you believe how much I wanted to stay."

"Of course I'm not angry. It's actually a very sweet notion; it just doesn't help how... _tense_ I am right now."

"You and me both," he groaned.

"Oh really?" she said, smirking in the dark as an idea came to her. "Well, let me ask you a question," she said, dropping her voice to a husky level. Bella was about to find out what was more fun than sexting Edward Cullen.

"Yeah?" She could hear his thick swallow over the line.

"Where does... _talking_ fall into your plan of things? I mean, we haven't touched each other. We would still be waiting. Just helping each other to relieve a little bit of this _tension_."

"Oh _shit_," he groaned, and she could swear she heard him drop the phone. After some quick fumbling in the background, he spoke again. "God... I dunno. Are you sure you want to?" his resolve audibly weakening by the second.

She would gladly respect his wishes about actual touching, but she'd be damned if they were going to go another day without _some_ kind of connection. Taking a deep breath, she went in for the kill.

"C'mon, _Edward_. We had our beautiful, romantic date... but now it's over. I know there's still a dirty boy inside there who's dying to come out and play."

"_Fuck_!" he grunted.

_Bingo _

As if someone had flipped a switch, her beautiful stranger was back. "Take off your clothes," he commanded.

"Way ahead of you," she sighed.

"You've been lying there naked this whole time?"

"Yes. I was just about to start touching myself when you called."

"_God_! I'm almost sorry I interrupted you," he groaned. "Almost."

"I'm not. This way I can hear you, too."

"_Fuck_... okay, baby... I need you to touch yourself for me. Tell me how wet you are."

Bella slid her fingers between her slippery folds, moaning at the feeling. "Oh... so wet. I'm so _fucking_ wet for you."

"What does it feel like? Tell me everything."

She swirled her fingertips around a bit more, trying to find a good way to describe the bliss she felt. "Everything's so soft and swollen... I can barely feel my flesh because there's so much moisture." She could hear his breath coming in soft pants on the other end. "Did you already start? I don't want to miss that, either."

"Don't worry baby, you won't. I haven't started yet... I'm just getting so turned on I can't see straight. Keep going."

"It's throbbing so badly that I just know I'll explode in two seconds if I rub my clit, but I don't want to be finished yet."

"Nobody's finishing anything yet," he said roughly. "Even if you come, _I'm_ not finished with you yet. Now, slide two fingers inside yourself. Tell me what it feels like."

"God, Edward... it's so hot... and tight... and slippery," she gasped.

"Now slide them in and out," he panted. "Does that feel good?"

She did as she was told, sliding them in deeper, already feeling familiar tingles shooting up her legs. "Oh shit... it feels so damn good. I'm so fucking wet that I can hear everything I'm doing."

Edward groaned loudly on the other end, his panting getting louder. "Baby... do something for me. Put the phone down there and let me hear you."

"Really?" she asked, always a little embarrassed at how she sounded.

"Fuck, yes! I miss that delicious little pussy so much, I'm about to start crying. If I were there right now I would be lapping up every fucking drop. Now let me hear it," he growled.

"Okay... I'm putting you on speaker. I want to hear you, too." She threw the covers back and slid the phone down between her legs, not wanting to miss one single grunt that he made. Pumping her fingers inside her a bit more roughly so that he could hear, she was rewarded with a loud snarl coming through the phone.

"Fuck! I just want to bury my face in there," his voice echoed in the darkness.

_Oh, that did it._ "God, Edward! I can't hold it!"

"Then come for me, baby. Set the phone down next to you on the pillow and use your other hand to rub your clit for me. I can hear you fine... _god_... come for me!"

Edward was going absolutely crazy on the other end, hearing every swirling motion of her fingers as she pleasured herself for him. He wasn't lying when he'd told her that he hadn't even started, wanting to really savor every little sound first, but the moment she let go and started screaming his name, he honestly worried that he might explode without ever laying a hand on it.

When her breathing had calmed a bit, she turned her face towards the phone. "Oh my god... that was intense. But I didn't get to hear you," she pouted.

"Oh, we're not quite done yet," he answered her, hoping that he could last long enough to enjoy this properly. "That was just foreplay, Bella. Tell me, do you still have that purple toy? The one that you said would always be me?"

"_Yes_," she moaned. "It's right here in my nightstand."

"Good. Because I'm going to fuck you now... and it's _not_ going to be slow and gentle."

"Promise?" she moaned again, reaching over and grabbing the toy in question. "God, Edward... are you hard for me?"

"Are you fucking _kidding_ me?" he laughed. "I'm throbbing so badly right now that it's painful."

"I miss your beautiful cock so much," she whimpered. He could hear her desperate pants and moans, and it took every ounce of his strength to keep from jumping in his car and driving straight over there.

"_Fuck_... it's all for you, Bella. Only for you. And we'll be together again before you know it."

"I want you to touch yourself now, Edward. I need to hear you, too."

"Absolutely, baby. Now, I want this to feel as real as possible, so why don't you tell me how much lube I should use. A little bit?"

"No," she groaned. "A _lot_. I'm fucking dripping for you."

He squirted a huge drop in his palm, holding it for a moment to warm it up. "Okay baby, I'm ready. Do you have me where I need to be?"

"Yes... you're right at my opening, ready to fuck me." Bella held the toy in position, waiting for his word.

Edward shut his eyes, remembering the last time they'd been together, when she had ridden him so hard that he'd nearly passed out. She had been perched above him, looking down into his eyes lovingly before she'd fucked him into submission. Grunting at the memory, he clenched his fist tightly, holding it right over the broad tip of his erection.

"Now, baby," he gasped, sliding his tight fist down his shaft at the same moment she pushed the toy inside her to the hilt.

They both cried out, feeling each other so much more deeply than simply masturbating. In that moment, they truly _were_ having sex with each other... only on opposite sides of the town.

"Now," he panted after a moment, "I'm going to start moving inside you. Feel me, Bella."

"Oh god!" she sobbed. "I missed you... I missed you so much! Can you feel me, too?"

"_Yes_," he hissed as his fist began pumping faster. "You're so fucking tight and wet. You feel like fucking home to me... I'm fucking you harder now... shoving myself as deep as I can go. I want to hit that spot that always makes you scream."

"Edward," she gasped, "I want you to fuck your hand for me. Don't just stroke your cock... I want to know you're really _fucking_ me."

"Tell me what you want, baby," he gritted through his teeth. "Anything."

"Stop moving your hand for a minute... just thrust your hips. You can move it again in a bit, but I want to know that you are thrusting inside me at the same time."

"Alright... pull that toy all the way out to the edge. _Now_," he said as he flexed his hips, shoving himself into the tightness of his palm. Bella moved in time with him, pumping the toy all the way inside her again.

"Yes!" she cried out.

"Is that what you want, baby?" he moaned.

"Yes... so good! You?"

"Ungh... it feels amazing. I'm going to again... now... now... now... _yesss_... fuck... faster... oh god!"

Bella began bucking her hips furiously, keeping in time with every thrust. "Edward, move your hand now, too. I'm so fucking close... I want you to feel me pushing back into you."

At the sounds of his loud moans, she felt herself tightening around the toy, and she was suddenly possessed with the need to hear him finish first.

"Edward, baby... come for me... _please_!"

"But... you... _first_," he grunted, barely holding on.

"No... please, baby... I need to hear you so badly. I need to hear you to finish. _Edward_... come for me... come inside me... let me _feel_ you spilling inside me."

"Oh _fuck_!" he cried out. "Bella!" He exploded violently, spurting his release all over his hand and stomach.

Just as she'd expected, hearing him finish set her off like a chain reaction, and before he was even done moaning and thrusting, she had thrown her head back and howled like a banshee.

When they had both stopped orbiting the planet several times over, they each rolled over in the darkness, gasping into the phone.

"That was..." he panted

"Incredible," she finished, just as out of breath as he was. After a moment of silence Bella giggled.

"What's so funny?" he smiled.

"Oh, I was just wondering if you'd be able to get to sleep now. I know I will."

"God, yes. I can barely keep my eyes open. You wore me out from across town, woman."

"Good," she smirked. "I suppose I should let you go, then. Thank you, Edward. Thank you for sharing that with me."

"Oh, it was absolutely my pleasure. Thank you for asking... I don't know if I would have had the nerve just yet."

"Goodnight, Edward." And then, because it finally felt right, and she felt freer than she had in months, she added, "I love you."

It was only the beat of a second before a quiet whisper could be heard.

"I love you too, Bella."

* * *

Does anyone else feel like SQUEEING as loud as I do right now?

Alright, peeps, let me have it. Was it a worthy reunion? I know some of you wanted more from Bella, but this is how I wanted it, and I agree with the things she was saying to Alice.

And what did you think of their little... ahem... phone call? I've been wanting to write a scene like that for a while. Hope you liked it.

Finally, I mentioned a contest in the note above. It's the Twi-muses Naughty or Nice oneshot contest, and I did a collab with my fic-twin, Aylah50. Anyone who hasn't read her stuff yet needs to seriously go check it out. Anyway, we wrote a naughty little o/s titled "Have Yourself a Sneaky Little Christmas," and it's FULL of yummy holiday fun. There are details on my author page about the story and voting, so if you have time go check it out!


	24. First Time

Thanks for being patient, people! Being so behind last time threw off my writing schedule and ended up making me behind again, but I think I'm back on it. Plus, shopping and decorating for the holidays just take so much out of me. Anyway, here's the latest installment. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: Stephenie owns them. They own me. **

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* * *

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_We're crashing into the unknown_

_We're lost in this, but it feels like home_

_I'm feeling alive all over again_

_As deep as the sky under my skin_

_Like being in love, she said, for the first time_

"_First Time" ~ Lifehouse_

X

XX

XXX

They had actually said it.

And _she_ had said it first.

Edward's mind was still reeling the next morning, almost positive that he'd hallucinated the entire evening's events. There was just no way that such a perfect night could have happened between them so soon. He had been so worried that it would take him days, if not weeks, to get her to agree to spend time with him. The fact that she had been willing to put aside her misgivings long enough to give him a real chance spoke volumes to him about her maturity... and her strength.

It was clear that she had no interest in playing head games or doling out punishment; she simply wanted to move on to a place where they could finally just _be_ together... to put some real effort into it. For the first time since he'd met her, they were both on the same page.

And rather than feeling like a chore, it was absolute _heaven_. If their first date was any indication of the future, he wanted to spend the rest of his life putting effort into his time with Bella. How could something so enjoyable even be considered effort?

He had been so proud to take her out in public, wanting to shout out to anyone who would listen that she was with _him_. Everything about her had been breathtaking, from her dress to her conversation, and what still amazed him was that it had all been so _easy_. He had fretted over whether they would be able to be comfortable enough together to actually say more than five words to each other, but it was all for nothing; the moment they started speaking it was as if he had finally found his way home after a very long journey.

Bella was his home.

He knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was madly in love with her and could never leave her side again, but it was news to him that she already felt the same. Thanks to her bravery and newfound ability of cutting through the bullshit, they already had their first declarations out of the way.

It was almost comical how simple it had been to say the words when the moment came.

Edward had been thinking them over and over in his mind on a constant loop for the entire evening, including through their phone call. He'd wanted nothing more than to blurt them out, but he was nervous that it was still too soon and wouldn't be received well. Thank goodness Bella had balls enough for the both of them, because once she put it out there first it was as easy as breathing to say it back.

The moment the words had left his mouth, he felt his world shift, as if he'd been tilted off his axis for longer than he could remember, and allowing himself to tell her that he loved her had somehow set things right again. Now _she_ was the center of his universe... and he would follow her until the end of time.

But how could he make her truly _believe_ that?

Sobering instantly at that thought, Edward grabbed his phone and dialed a number in his speed dial. It was answered on the first ring.

"Cullen, I wish you would stop checking up on me," a gruff voice spoke in his ear.

"I will when you get me a set date," he replied. "Any news?"

"I told you I would call you the second I heard anything, didn't I? You've given me zero notice, here. These things take time to organize, you should know that by now. Everyone has been booked up for months."

"I can't believe that's the best you can do. What the fuck have I been paying you for all these years?"

"Well, with all due respect, you've never been on this side of it before. You were just the talent; you were perfectly content to let Tanya handle all the gory details. _She_ would have at least understood that what you are asking for now is damn near impossible."

"Well Tanya's not here any more, now is she, Peter? I guess that means you're stuck with me. At least, if you still want my business, that is."

A loud sigh could be heard on the other end. "Of _course_ I still want your business. I'm not saying that it can't be done... only that it might take longer than you are wanting."

"How long?"

"At least a good six to eight weeks."

"Are you fucking _kidding_ me?" Edward shouted.

"That's not unreasonable for the size of venue you need, you have to understand that."

"And _you_ have to understand that I don't have that kind of time. I need this done _yesterday_!"

"Would you please calm down? I'm doing the best I can, I promise you. I still have a few calls out, so nothing is final yet. I just wanted to prepare you for the worst."

"Please, just... work your magic. I'm counting on you, Peter."

"I know. Listen, Cullen... all differences aside, I'm happy that you are working, and that you still thought of me for this. By the way," his voice dropped to a whisper, "I was very sorry to hear about Tanya."

"Yes, well... we couldn't all be quite as... _close_ as you two were."

"I... I'm not sure what you mean," he stammered.

"Oh, I think you know exactly what I mean... but I wonder if your wife does. How _is_ Charlotte these days?"

Barely a second of dead air was heard before Peter spoke again, all business. "I think I have a few more contacts I can call. Somebody in Seattle owes me a favor."

"Well isn't that just wonderful? I knew you had it in you." He went to press the end button before he heard his name being called.

"Edward... you won't—"

"Oh relax, Peter. I have no interest in destroying your marriage. You seem to be perfectly capable of doing that yourself. It's not like it would even be worth it, anyway; you were just one in a long line of many."

"Thank you... I guess."

"Whatever. Just do your job and get me that opening." Edward cut the call before Peter could respond, tossing his phone on the bed and raking his hands through his hair roughly. Speaking with his agent never failed to bring out the worst in him. It wasn't that he had fucked his wife for years, he couldn't have given two shits about that, but the fact that the smarmy bastard thought he was actually fooling him about it made Edward almost pity his ignorance.

Deciding that he needed something to lighten his mood, he grabbed his phone again, glancing at the clock quickly as he pressed his favorite new speed dial setting. It was already after ten o'clock, and he couldn't help wondering what she'd been doing with her morning. Just thinking of hearing her voice again was putting a smile on his face, and he hoped that she wouldn't mind him calling her again so soon.

"Hello?" she practically purred when she answered. Well, perhaps she was only speaking normally, but it sounded like a purr to him.

"Mornin' beautiful," he said, allowing his smile to stretch even wider across his face.

"Hi there," she giggled, and he could actually _hear_ her blush. Just knowing that she was remembering their call from the night before was making him lightheaded, all of his blood flowing to a location farther south on his body.

"What have you been up to this morning?"

"Well, my dad just left. I make breakfast for us sometimes on Sunday mornings before he goes in to work."

"Still taking care of good old dad, huh?" he laughed.

"Not quite like before," she chuckled. "Now it's just really a way for us to stay in touch. Like I said, he misses me."

"_And_ your cats," he smiled.

"And my cats, that's right."

"Well, I'm sure you're wondering why I'm calling so soon."

"Not really, should I?"After a moment of silence when he didn't quite know how to respond, Bella continued. "You don't need a reason to call me, Edward. I'm happy simply talking to you and hearing your voice."

He took a deep breath before finally speaking. "That's really nice to know, Bella. That would make me happy, too. However, I actually _did_ have something to ask you."

"OK, what is it?"

"I was wondering what you have planned for the rest of the day."

"Laundry," she said with a groan. "I was just about to head out to the laundromat."

"Oh really?" he said excitedly, sitting up straighter on his bed. "Why don't you do it over here?"

"I don't know... I'd hate to impose."

"What impose? I'm _inviting_ you. I was hoping to spend some more time with you today, anyway, so why not take advantage of our facilities?"

"Really?" Bella said, biting her bottom lip in contemplation.

"Definitely. How about I come pick you up? You can throw your clothes in the wash and we can grab some lunch here while you wait. I know my mother would love to see you again."

"Esme will be there?"

"Yeah... is that alright? Oh man, I sound totally lame now, don't I?" He laughed and began speaking in a higher voice to sound like a little boy. "Gee, Bella, wanna come play at my house? My mommy's gonna make us lunch!"

"Don't be silly," she laughed. "I enjoy spending time there, and I haven't seen her in a while."

"I keep forgetting how well you know them all."

"Does that still bother you?" she asked, remembering how angry he'd been when he first discovered their connection.

"No, not really. Although, I'll admit that it's a bit... _disconcerting_ sometimes when I think about how much our lives seem to be intertwined."

"I know what you mean," she sighed. "It has a huge feeling of inevitability, doesn't it?"

"Exactly!" he laughed. "However, it also saves me a lot of time worrying and hoping that you'll get along with my family."

"You know, now that you mention it, I think this _has_ all been a bit too easy for you," Bella teased. "It's like the universe just decided that you needed a new girlfriend and literally dropped one in your lap."

"Yeah, I noticed that, too. Once I finally pulled my head out of my ass, that is. But at least now I can finally appreciate it." Bella was about to make another joke about him being the universe's bitch when he suddenly spoke again in a near whisper. "You know, I like hearing you say that word."

"What word?" she asked quietly, wondering quickly why she was whispering, too.

"Girlfriend."

"Oh, _that_," she replied, instantly feeling her face go up in flames. _Good one, Bella. You were the first to drop the L bomb last night, and now you just called yourself his girlfriend! _

"Yeah, _that_. Girlfriend. I like the sound of it. '_My_ girlfriend' sounds even better."

Edward had the sudden urge to drag her all over town on the off chance that he might run into someone he knew, just so that he could introduce them to 'his girlfriend, Bella.' He briefly considered letting her follow through with her original plans to go to the laundromat so that very thing might just happen, but thought better of it when he remembered how much more comfortable it was at his parents' house. _And_ how much more privacy they would have.

"I think you're right," she smiled, thrilled that he hadn't wigged out on her. "That does sound even better."

"So, how about it? Laundry day at my place?"

"Oh, I suppose I could be forced to spend some time with you in your gorgeous house with your adorably sweet mother."

"Great! I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

Edward was already jumping up and running to the stairs before Bella realized that the call had ended, and by the time she had loaded everything into her laundry basket, he was knocking on her door.

"Wow, eager much?" she teased as she opened it to let him in.

"For you? Always."

Bella tried to ignore how much the simplest of compliments from him made her heart beat erratically. Ducking her head to hide her telltale blush, she motioned him inside while she grabbed her purse from the kitchen.

"I just can't believe what you've done with the place," he called out to her as he stood in the center of the room and slowly turned around, looking at every detail more closely in the light of day. When his gaze landed on the vase of flowers sitting in the middle of the tiny dining table, he couldn't help but feel a swelling of pride; she had kept his flowers.

"Thanks," she said as she reentered the room, slinging her purse over her shoulder. When she was right in front of him, she stopped and looked up into his eyes. With a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth, she added, "I always knew it had amazing potential."

Edward wasn't convinced that they were still talking about the apartment.

In an effort to lighten the mood, _and_ to keep from tackling her to the ground and covering her entire body with kisses, he quickly changed the subject. "I'm surprised there's no Conchords posters, though," he joked.

"They were vetoed," she sighed.

"I was only kidding!" he laughed. "You were seriously going to put some up?"

"Hey, this is the first place I've ever lived in by myself. I was anxious to display all the things I love."

"Then why didn't you?"

"Alice and Rose both thought they would make it look like a dumpy dorm room," she frowned. "I see their point, but still."

"Well, I suppose they do lose their charm once you grow out of your twenties," he chuckled. "At least for a living room. But you could always frame one and hang it in your bedroom or something."

"True... but I'm not so sure that having a poster of Jemaine Clement near my bed is the best idea. I mean, I'd probably never leave."

"Fair enough; I'd hate to be jealous of a poster." He smirked playfully and winked at her, and Bella thought she might actually faint.

"Um... let's get going," she said awkwardly, suddenly too aware that they were only three feet from the bedroom in question. She went to pick up her laundry basket but he beat her to it, refusing to let her carry it to the car.

"I'm not a weakling, you know," she grumbled behind him as they walked down the stairs.

"Oh, stop pouting and let me enjoy this," he called back to her.

"What _exactly_ is there to enjoy about carrying my dirty clothes? I _despise_ laundry day." They stopped at the side of his car while he opened up the back door and tossed the basket into the back seat.

"Well, think of it this way," he turned to look at her as he shut the car door, "I never got to carry anybody's books in high school. This is the next best thing."

"Wow..." Bella sighed.

"What?"

"I can't decide if that's really sweet or really lame." It was actually one of the sweetest things she'd ever heard in her life.

"Oh really?" he smiled. "Are you leaning in either direction?"

Bella cocked her head to the side and looked at him, holding her chin with her thumb and forefinger as if in deep thought. "Hmm... I'd probably vote sweet, but only because you're so cute." She stood up on her tiptoes and gave him a quick peck on the cheek, only to squeal when he reached behind her and swatted her bottom.

"Brat," he growled with laughter in his eyes.

"You know it."

Edward leaned down and captured her lips in a chaste kiss, pulling away before either of them could respond more passionately. "Delicious brat."

"You know that, too." She did that purring thing again with her voice and it was beginning to make him feel dizzy. They stood there for a moment doing nothing more than staring into each other's eyes, both of them wondering if they were the only one feeling the crackle of electricity growing between their bodies.

He was the first to break away that time, blinking rapidly as if waking up from a dream. Opening the passenger door for her, he smiled and bowed deeply with his arm extended as if she were royalty. "Your chariot awaits, milady."

"Why thank you, kind sir." She grabbed his hand as she lowered herself into the seat, biting back a moan when he kissed the back of her hand. She watched him through the windows as he walked around to the driver's side and got in. "So... this is the new rental, huh?" They both looked around at the interior of the Nissan Maxima.

"Yep," he answered as he turned the key in the ignition.

"It's nice. I miss the Volvo, though."

Once he'd backed out of the parking spot, he braked hard, turning to look her in the eye. "_Believe_ me, I do, too. There were some... _fond_ memories in that car." The rest of the drive to the Cullens' was spent in near silence, both of their minds flickering over rainstorms and parking lots.

When they arrived, Esme was just finishing the soup and sandwiches that she'd happily started making when Edward announced that he would be bringing Bella over for the afternoon. He had been a little hesitant at first that she might smother them with attention and make Bella feel awkward, but as soon as he saw the loving hug between them, he knew that he had done the right thing by including his mother in that side of his life for a change. Being considerate of others was a new concept to him, but he was finding it to be quite rewarding.

They sat at the small, informal table in the kitchen, talking easily as they ate. Edward was amazed at how comfortable the two women seemed to be together, laughing and sharing more in thirty minutes than Tanya had with her in ten years. Watching them like that only served to drive home a fact that he had recently learned to accept: Bella _belonged_ there, in every aspect of his life.

When they were finished with lunch, Esme didn't linger. She thanked Bella again for visiting and made her promise to return soon, then excused herself, claiming that she had some errands to run in Port Angeles for the day and that she would be back later. He hadn't even asked her to leave, but when she hugged Bella one more time, she looked at him over her shoulder and winked.

Leave it to his mother to be the best wingman he'd ever had.

As soon as they were alone, Edward grabbed her laundry basket again and headed towards the stairs to the basement. Bella followed closely behind him, reclaiming her dirty clothes when they were standing in front of the washing machine. She sorted them out quickly into two loads and threw the darks in first, turning to face him after she she was done.

"OK, that should be at least an hour before this load is ready to go in the dryer. What do we do now?"

Edward smirked knowingly. "That depends on which game you wanna lose first." He turned around and disappeared into the dark room behind them, flipping on the light switch to reveal the enormous rec room. "You remember this room, don't you Bella?"

"Well, I certainly remember the pinball machine," she choked out, already turning a deep shade of red.

His smirk bloomed into a full-on wicked smile. "Yeah... if I remember correctly, I was just about to hit high score before Rose interrupted us."

"Uh, _no_!" she huffed. "You weren't about to _hit_ anything, thank you very much!"

"I think we remember things differently."

"What are you talking about? Your entire family was upstairs! There is no way I would've let it get that far."

"Maybe not intentionally," he teased, "but I don't think either one of us had our wits about us that day."

Bella thought for a moment and sighed. "Alright, I'll grant you that. Now stop being so smug and get over here so I can kick your ass at pool."

"Awful sure of yourself, my dear."

"I'm pretty not bad," she smiled.

"Well I've been known to be pretty not bad, too," he replied as he grabbed two cues from the rack on the wall.

She walked up to him slowly, reaching out and wrapping her fingers around the cue that he held out to her. "And I've been known to play dirty," she whispered, stroking her hand up the long, smooth shaft a few times while licking her lips seductively.

Ignoring the twitching in his pants, Edward took a deep breath and smirked again. "Two can play that game, baby."

"Then rack 'em up."

What followed next was the most sexually tense game of pool in the history of rec rooms everywhere.

Every time Bella took a shot, she made sure to lean way over, strategically displaying her ample cleavage right in front of a nearly drooling Edward. She would then slide the cue back and forth between her fingers, always looking up at him through her lashes as she did so. Whenever she had to take a shot from close to where he was standing, she would make a show of leaning over slowly and sticking out her ass, never failing to look back over her shoulder at him before striking the ball.

To say that he was getting distracted would be an enormous understatement. However, he wasn't completely unarmed in their little game, either. Rather than trying to distract her during his own shots as she was doing, he would wait and make his move while she took hers. At the times when she was leaning over with her cleavage on display, he began meeting her gaze with his smoldering jade eyes, licking his lips and adjusting the now prominent bulge in his jeans.

While she was clearly affecting him with her tricks, her success was beginning to backfire on her, because her shots were getting increasingly sloppier with the more obvious his arousal was becoming. After a few times where she was bending over in front of him, he started closing the distance until he was leaning over her back, whispering helpful tips into her ear.

When she nearly missed the ball altogether, he gently placed his hands over hers and guided her, brushing his lips against the outer shell of her ear when he breathed, "Like this." And then he proceeded to gently rub himself against her backside as they followed through the shot, causing Bella to moan and throw her head back, squeezing her eyes shut against the sudden pleasure of feeling him so close again.

He stilled his movements, trying to decide through his haze of arousal if he should take advantage of the situation or back away quickly to stop things from going any farther.

Bella chose for him.

She threw the cue down on the table and brought her hands up behind his head, effectively trapping him against her. She leaned back into him, rubbing her bottom against his painful erection as she pulled his mouth down to her neck. Between the luscious scent of her filling his nostrils and the extreme pleasure of feeling her grinding back against him, Edward was drunk on her.

He parted his lips and left wet kisses along her neck, punctuated by soft nips with his teeth. Her groaning in his ear only fueled his desire, causing him to buck his hips against her more fully. He reached his hands around the front of her, sliding them under her shirt and anchoring her to him with one large hand pressed against the soft flesh of her stomach. The other hand had a mind of its own, roaming up higher until he was cupping one of her breasts, squeezing it more roughly when he felt her nipple pebbling up under his palm.

She gasped loudly and spun around in his arms, pressing herself against the front of him as his hands slid down to grip her ass. Their mouths met frantically, each of their tongues battling for dominance as they swallowed each other's groans of need. Edward desperately wanted to free his hands enough to touch her everywhere at once, so he lifted her up by her backside and sat her down on the edge of the table.

Positioning himself between her legs, he growled against her lips when she moved them around his waist eagerly. It felt like home to have her wrapped around him again, even through all of their clothes. He suddenly needed her to know just how _right_ it felt to be back with her, where he had so badly needed to be. Since his hands were now free, he reached up to hold her face and pulled back so that he could stare into her heavily-lidded eyes.

"I love you, Bella," he whispered, surprised at how easy it was to say now that he was certain of its truth.

"I love you, too, Edward," she smiled, and he felt a jolt of something unfamiliar rip through his chest. "Can we _please_ keep kissing this time, though?" she panted, glancing between his eyes and his lips.

"Yes, my beautiful girl," he chuckled.

"Oh, thank god!" She pulled him back to her lips, igniting a whole new kissing frenzy. Shoving her hands into his hair, she yanked and pulled at it as she sucked on his lips and tongue. He moaned deeply, wondering if his eyes might completely roll back into his head at some point from a pleasure overdose. When Bella simply needed _more_, she began to lean backwards, pulling him down with her.

Edward followed happily, climbing up onto the table with his knees as she continued to pull him down on top of her, sliding farther back to allow him room. When he finally settled the full weight of his body on her she cried out, wrapping her arms and legs around him and holding him tight, as if she was afraid he could disappear at any moment.

He slid her shirt up high enough to expose her black lace bra, and with a hungry groan he lowered his head and sucked on her swollen peaks through the material. His hands began gripping and squeezing them as he feasted, and before long he had to yank the material down and taste her sweet flesh. The moment the hot wetness of his mouth came in contact with her aching nipples she almost wept, and the intensity of it caused her to buck her hips wildly underneath him.

They both felt it at the same time then, the first full contact of his straining erection against her heated sex. They stopped moving and locked eyes, hers filled with a question and his full of debate. After only a few seconds he smiled again, rocking his hips more fully into her. They both cried out that time, and the frantic way she was clutching at his back only drove him on.

He resumed his position at her breasts, alternating between squeezing, sucking and licking. Bella began to moan a number of incoherent words and phrases, sinking her fingers into his hair again as they continued to move together. Each new thrust of his hardness against her made her see stars and fireworks when she closed her eyes, and they eventually set up a steady rhythm that kept rubbing him _exactly_ where she needed him.

"You're so fucking beautiful," he groaned against her flesh before he kissed it again. "Everything about you feels so... so fucking perfect!"

"Oh god," she panted, her breath shaking as she began to feel herself winding tight like a spring, climbing higher and higher and loving every moment of it because he was _with_ her again. "I missed you," she cried out, on the verge of something explosive. "I missed you so much!"

"Never again," he groaned out, moving up to look her in the eye, his thrusting becoming more erratic as his release neared. "You'll never be without me again." He kissed her deeply, pouring everything he was feeling into it, begging her with his body to feel what was in his heart.

"Oh... oh _god_, I'm right there," she moaned when their lips broke apart, causing him to speed up his movements and press himself more firmly against her.

"Yes, baby," he gasped between thrusts. "_Yes_... let me hear you," he begged. There was so much warm, wet heat between their bodies that it felt amazing, and he was barely hanging on.

When the tightly coiled spring finally snapped inside her, Bella threw her head back and wailed, her entire body spasming beneath him. The beauty of her climax triggered his own, and Edward buried his face in her neck and began rambling so fast that she barely understood him.

"I love you so much! I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, oh _fuck_!" His hips jerked a few last times before he collapsed, laying his head on her rumpled shirt and still-exposed chest.

They laid there together like that for a few minutes in silence, Bella stroking his hair lovingly as he tenderly kissed the spot over her heart.

"Was this... OK?" she finally asked him, hating to break the comfortable quiet in the room.

"It was more than OK," he whispered against her skin, sounding as if he could fall asleep at any second. "It was amazing."

"It wasn't going too far for you?" she asked, feeling guilt at provoking him now that the heat of the moment had passed.

"No, I don't think so. As much as I want to date you properly and get to know you all over again, we can't exactly ignore this insane attraction between us. Things are bound to happen. I just don't want that to be all it's about any more, and I'm _really_ trying to hold off a little longer before we make love."

"Aw... you called it making love," she smiled. "I don't think I've ever not heard you say fuck."

"Well," he explained, propping himself up on his elbow to look down at her. "I think there is raw, nasty, sweat flinging fucking... and I now know there is something on a deeper level that can be shared between two people when the time is right. I think we've even come close to it before without realizing what we had. Hopefully I'll have the opportunity to do both with you so often we lose count. However, the next time I'm inside you, I want to be making love to you."

"Why can't we do that now?" she asked, almost pouting. "We both know how we feel about each other."

"Because in my mind, I haven't earned it yet."

"But Edwa—"

"Just listen," he interrupted. "I know you have forgiven me, and for that I will be eternally grateful, but I haven't completely forgiven myself."

"I don't want to spend forever with you treating me like some delicate, fragile thing now, putting me up on some pedestal." Bella huffed. "I happened to _like_ how things were before, at least physically. I just wanted us to get to know each other more and let each other into our real lives."

"Oh, don't get me wrong," he smiled. "There is way too much heat between us to ever become vanilla and boring. I adored what we did, too... but I need to find a way to balance out the hunger with the sweetness. I want to be in a real relationship and actually try to make it work. I've never really dated before. I've never had to _try_. To me, you're worth it."

"Dammit," she sighed.

"What?"

"Well, that was so damn beautiful I want to cry, and now all I want to do is throw you down and have my wicked way with you!"

"You think I don't want the same thing?"

"We're adults, dammit!" she pouted again. "If we want to have sex, we should be able to have sex."

"Normally I would agree with you, and that's also why I know things are going to happen between us no matter what. I just really want to feel like I've deserved something for once in my life, and if I cave now I know I will always regret it."

"Alright," she grumbled. "I guess I see your point. It's just so easy to forget when you are on top of me like this."

"I know, baby," he laughed, shifting to her side. "It's going to be a struggle, but it will make it that much more worth it in the end."

"How long are we talking, here?"

"That's the hard part. There's an actual event that I'm trying to set up, and I'm having trouble finalizing a date. Hopefully it won't be too long."

"Will you tell me what it is?"

"No, of course not! It's a surprise."

"Will I like it?"

"I really hope so," he sighed.

"Hey, look at me. If it's something that you spent this much time and energy _and_ sexual frustration on, I'm sure I'll love it."

"Thanks," he smiled, leaning down and kissing her softly. "Now, we should probably get cleaned up. I'm gonna run up and change into a different pair of jeans. Things are starting to get a little... sticky," he blushed.

"Just bring those back down with you and I'll throw them in my next load of laundry."

"Thanks, that would be great. I'll see if I can find a spare pair of jeans in Rose and Emmett's room. I'd try Alice's but they would probably be about five inches too short on you." He turned on the television for her before he left, not wanting her to get bored down there all by herself. When he returned less than fifteen minutes later, he tossed his dirty clothes in front of the washer and joined her on the couch. "Well, I couldn't find any jeans. All she had were pajamas, so I grabbed you a pair of shorts. I figured that your clothes will be done drying before too long anyway, so you won't need to wear these for very long."

"That will be fine, thank you."

"There's a small bathroom over there if you want to go change, then you can throw the next load in."

Bella changed quickly and switched out the laundry, happy that all of her other jeans were already going in the dryer. She returned to sit by Edward on the couch, feeling her heart soar when he comfortably wrapped his arm around her and pulled her against his side. When she snuggled against him even closer and rested her head on his shoulder, he leaned over and kissed the top of her head.

"This is nice," he sighed.

"What, the Dukes of Hazzard marathon? I was gonna ask if we could change it; I can only take so much unbuttoned beefcake."

"No," he laughed. "Being together like this." He handed her the remote. "Here, put on whatever you like. I can't _believe_ you aren't feelin' the good ole' boys."

"Oh, I used to love this show when I was little. I had the hugest crush on Beau Duke. Now it's kind of embarrassing when I think about it."

"I always loved Rosco and Flash."

"Oh, me too! I always wanted a basset hound that looked like Flash, but my mom would never let me have one." She looked at him and then back at the TV. "Funny, I would have thought you'd have been into Daisy."

"Oh, I never said I wasn't," he laughed. "Just look at those shorts!"

"OK, that's enough of _that_," Bella huffed, turning the channel quickly. "There, Top Chef. Not a single pair of shorty shorts in sight."

"True, but there's always Padma Lakshmi's post-pregnancy cleavage."

"Ugh!" She reached for the remote again and he laughed loudly, grabbing it out of her hand.

"My god, you're jealous! Over the TV!"

"No I'm not," she protested.

"You totally are! That's hilarious," he laughed even louder. "It's damn adorable, actually."

"No, I'm not a jealous person. I don't get jealous. All of my boyfriends back in college thought I was the coolest girlfriend ever, because I can talk about how sexy women are and play 'spot the falsies' while watching porn."

"Spot the—? Wait, aren't they pretty much _all_ falsies?"

"Yeah, but some of them are really cheap. You can see these nasty ripples and ridges when they move. That's beside the point, anyway. The point is that I _don't_ get jealous."

"Hey, don't be so defensive," he chuckled, reaching around her sides and tickling her until she laughed. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about. I think it's kind of precious. Nobody's ever been jealous over me, even if it's just the TV."

"How is that physically possible?"

"What do you mean?"

"Edward... you're _painfully_ beautiful. Any woman who sees you must want you. How could someone not have gotten jealous over you before?"

"You're forgetting there was only Tanya. She liked the attention I got, because it reflected well on her for having an attractive husband. She cared less about me than what I brought her. So _believe_ me when I say that it's a refreshing change to have someone care."

"Well, it's not like I'm going to shank the first girl who looks at you or anything. I just felt funny watching you ogle someone else."

"If it makes you feel any better, I'd like to beat the shit out of Beau Duke right now. And Jemaine Clement is next."

"But that's silly! They're just— OK, I see what you mean."

"You can't help how you feel. This is all new to me, too. I've never been jealous in my life. I never needed to be." He turned sideways to face her. "You make me feel so many things, Bella. It really is like I'm alive for the first time in my life. Even sitting here with you like this... I've never cuddled with anyone before you. It's all just so... amazing."

"You amaze me, too, Edward. Every day I'm with you is amazing."

"Then why don't you come back over here and we'll do some more of that cuddling? I liked that. Let's watch Top Chef and guess who gets voted off this round."

"I suppose," she smiled.

"And just for the record, you're the only brunette in shorty shorts I'm interested in ogling," he said, squeezing her bare thigh.

"Thank you," she giggled, kissing him quickly. "And I'd take you over a threesome with Beau and Jemaine any day."

"Well, that's comforting," he chuckled.

Edward leaned back against the arm of the couch, pulling her down with him. After she got comfortable curling up against him with her head on his chest, he slowly began stroking her hair and humming softly to himself.

It felt so lovely that Bella was quickly feeling her eyelids grow heavy. The only thought keeping her awake was trying to remember where she had heard the tune he was humming. Eventually she lost the fight, her body finally giving over to sleep.

In her very last moment of consciousness, listening to the lovely song as it reverberated through his chest against her ear, the memory came to her... and suddenly she remembered.

He was humming their tango.

XXX

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OK, thoughts? Hope you enjoyed it!


	25. Howlin' For You

Happy New Year! I hope everyone had a good holiday.

This chapter was originally going to be a bit longer and cover some more things, but I ended up taking a detour down the citrus highway(a chronic problem for me). Now if I covered all the things I wanted to here, it would be enormous and take me about 2 or 3 more days to finish; so instead, you are getting a little bit shorter chapter because this felt like a better breaking point. In the end it just adds up to more chapters for you in the long run, so I guess it's a good thing, since I had originally planned to be done with this story about five chapters ago.

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't own. Just obsessed. **

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_Mockingbird_

_Can't you see?_

_Little girl's got a hold on me like glue_

_Baby, I'm howlin' for you_

"_Howlin' For You" ~ The Black Keys_

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"Since when do you have a boyfriend?" Angela blurted out the next morning after hearing Bella making plans for lunch on her cell phone.

"What makes you think that was my boyfriend?"

"Because you don't blush like that when your dad calls you."

"That still doesn't make it a boyfriend," Bella hedged.

"Are we really gonna play this game?" Angela huffed.

"What game?"

"The James and Victoria game, where everything you do is glaringly obvious to everyone around you, but we all have to pretend like nothing's going on?"

"I don't know what you're—" she stopped mid-sentence when Angela arched an eyebrow at her, letting her know in no uncertain terms that she was not going to believe any line of bullshit that she was attempting to deliver. "Dammit, Ange. Not the eyebrow."

She simply crossed her arms and stared at her. "Spill it, bitch."

Bella sighed, turning her chair to face her more directly. "It's just that things are so... _new_. It feels weird talking about it."

"_New_? I'll say it's new! Weren't you single on Friday? I didn't even know you were talking to anybody since Jake."

"Well... we sort of... ran into each other again on Friday night." Bella blushed again, thinking of how much things had changed since then.

"Wow, that must have been _some_ weekend."

"It really was, and not in the way you're implying, either." _Although I would have liked that, dammit!_

"I don't care how little happened, I just want some damn details! Who is the guy? How do you know him? Is he local?" Angela's barrage of questions were interrupted by Jessica on the intercom, alerting her that she had a red chart ready to go back. She glanced at the patient schedule and moaned loudly, leaning over to bang her head on the desktop. "Since _when_ did the Newtons get red chart status?" she groaned into the imitation wood grain.

"Oh didn't you hear?" Bella laughed. "Apparently Mike Newton gives James a discount on all of his camping gear at the store. His whole family is on red chart now. I had to sit in while Victoria gave Lauren an emergency pelvic last week; she had this nasty rash all over her cooter from an allergic reaction to some 'As Seen on TV' home waxing kit. It was pretty gross."

"Well, I'll trade you Lauren Newton's rashy cooter for Asshole Jr's chicken pox _any_ day. I'll bet you five bucks that little shit pukes on me." She stood up and pushed in her chair, turning back to look at Bella. "Don't think you're off the hook yet, my dear; I'll get it all out of you somehow." With that she walked away, resigned to face her poxy doom.

~/LTIF\~

Almost three hours later, Edward walked into the tastefully decorated clinic, glancing around uncomfortably at all of the pregnant women in the waiting room. When he reached the front desk, he noticed a vaguely familiar face on the pudgy blonde receptionist at the counter, but she was so engrossed in staring at her monitor that he couldn't quite place her.

"Can I help you, sir?" she asked with an irritated tone, never once looking up from her game of solitaire.

"I'm waiting for someone. I was wondering if you might know how long she'll be?"

"What's her name and appointment time?" she huffed loudly.

"No, she works here. Her name is Bella Swan."

That got her attention, causing the girl's eyes to practically bug out of her head when she finally looked up at him. "Oh my god, Edward?"

"Uh... yeah?" Apparently his face was less vague to her.

"It's me, Jessica!" she smiled excitedly. He was willing to bet that was the most animated she'd been about anything all day.

"Jessica...?"

"Stanley, silly! We went to high school together. I sat near you in English senior year."

"Oh... yeah, okay. How have you been?" He really couldn't have cared less, but he didn't want to be impolite to one of Bella's coworkers. He did remember her once she said her name, and his memories of her made him cringe inside.

She used to strut around the school like she was hot shit, hanging on the arm of any guy she thought might be worth something to her. All she would have to do was shove her big tits in their faces and giggle like the airhead she was, and they ate it up gladly. She'd even tried batting her overly-mascaraed lashes at him a few times, but he had no interest in pretending to care about her vapid conversation.

"Oh, I'm good. _Real_ good," she purred. _Mm hm, sure you are_. From the looks of her now, she had put on a good sixty pounds and hated her job. He could also tell from her bare ring finger and the way she was batting her lashes again that she was still sitting around on her widening ass, waiting for Prince Charming to appear and fix all of her problems.

It wasn't that Edward cared what any woman weighed; he appreciated curves in all the right places and always had. He'd painted countless women through the years with many different body types and had always found the beauty he was looking for. There was just something depressing to him about an aging prom queen living in denial.

"So... Bella?" he asked, trying to make her focus on the here and now. "Any idea how soon she'll be ready for lunch?"

"Oh," she pouted, her face falling visibly when she finally realized that he had no desire to reminisce about the good old days. "Let me look." She clicked a few buttons on her keyboard, her eyes looking up at him every few seconds. "So, you and Bella, huh?" she probed nosily as she searched the screen. "When did that happen?"

"Recently," was the only answer he gave.

"Alright," Jessica sighed when he refused to say any more. "Well, it looks like she already took back her last patient for the morning. I'll leave her a message that you're here. She should be done soon if you want to have a seat."

"Thank you," he nodded curtly, walking over to the only section of empty chairs and sitting down, rifling through the maternity magazines as he glanced at his watch. He could feel the stares of the other women in the room burning a hole into his flesh, making him feel as if he had no right to be there in No Man's Land. He felt like the enemy, and before even two minutes had passed he was ready to apologize to them for every man in the world who ever got a woman pregnant; after five minutes he was ready to apologize for even having a penis. When Bella finally found him a few minutes later, the sigh of relief he gave as he stood up could be heard throughout the room.

"Thank god!" he gasped the moment they had stepped outside towards his car.

"What's wrong?" she asked, barely containing a giggle.

"That was the most awkward I've felt in years. I swear they were just about to attack me when you came out."

"Who?"

"Those... _women_!"

She couldn't hold it any longer after that, openly laughing at the face of horror he was making. "What on earth are you talking about?"

"It felt like every pair of eyes were on me in that room, like I wasn't supposed to be there," he tried to explain as he opened her door for her.

"Edward, there were a few other men there; they were all sitting with their wives, didn't you see them?"

"No, all I saw were pregnant women everywhere. Angry pregnant women, looking for justice." He closed the door on her laughter, still able to hear it through the windows as he walked around to get in the other side.

"That's ridiculous!" she choked out through her giggling fit once he was seated next to her.

"Then why did I feel like everyone was staring at me?"

After she wiped a tear away from her eye, she took a deep breath and looked at him. "Baby, they were probably just wondering why you were there alone. _And_ where you'd been all their lives."

"Oh, stop it," he said, throwing the car in reverse and backing out of his parking space.

"I'm serious. Do you have any idea how horny some pregnant women get? Having you dangled in front of their eyes for that long is actually pretty cruel. I'm not surprised you felt their eyes all over you."

"Oh man, that's even worse! Now I can never visit you there again; I'll always have to worry about mother-to-be gang rape!"

"Would you stop being so silly?" Placing her hand on his arm as he was getting ready to turn out of the lot, she waited until he was looking at her before she continued. "You're just feeling awkward and out of place because you're nervous visiting me at work. It will get better. For what it's worth, seeing you there waiting for me has been the best part of my day. Now suck it up and give me a kiss."

Shoving his hands through his hair quickly, Edward exhaled loudly before finally laughing with her. "You're right. I'm sorry, I'm being an idiot." He leaned over and kissed her gently, smiling against her lips when she tugged him closer, refusing to let him back away without deepening the kiss. "Mm... hello there."

"Now _that's_ the hello I was looking for," she smiled. "Can we go eat now?"

"Oh, I suppose. How long do you have? Should we grab something quick or sit-down?"

"I've got about an hour. Something quicker might be a better idea; I think the diner gets pretty packed this time of day, and Pacific Pizza takes too long."

"How about a burger at Sully's?"

"Perfect! We can eat in the car if we want to."

"Oh really?" he smirked, turning South on the 101. "Have something in mind, do you?"

"Well, no," she blushed. "I just thought it might be nice to eat and talk wherever we wanted since it's such a pretty day, that's all. We don't need to be cooped up inside, I have enough of that all day at work."

"Sounds good to me."

He pulled into a spot at the old burger joint and they went inside, ordering two burgers and fries and two shakes, getting it all to go. Bella rolled her eyes as the young girl behind the counter giggled and flirted shamelessly with Edward, reminding herself that it was simply something she was going to have to get used to if she wanted to continue dating someone so gorgeous. She knew the important thing was that he never flirted back... even if she did want to dump her chocolate shake over the dimwit girl's head.

"My god," Edward moaned to himself behind her as they walked back to the car.

"What?" she very nearly snapped as she turned around, defensive about her newfound jealousy issues and fully expecting him to tease her about it again.

"I just... forgot how fucking sexy you look in your scrubs, that's all." He ducked his head as his cheeks tinted pink. When he looked back up and their eyes locked again, Bella almost forgot how to breathe. They both knew without saying that they were each remembering a very heated sponge bath between a nurse and her _very_ dirty patient.

Trying to ignore the sudden rush of heat through her body, she grabbed the other shake in his hand and turned back towards the car. "Uh... let's get going before these melt."

"Any particular place you'd like to park?" The heavy-lidded gaze he gave her as he climbed in the car was enough to make her want to wipe her chin.

"Somewhere... private?" was all she could squeak out.

He said nothing in return, only inhaling sharply once before tearing off in the direction of the woods. They reached their special clearing in record time and ate their lunch even faster, although it was rather distracting for both of them. They tried to talk about their day as they ate, but Edward found himself staring as she dunked her fries in her shake and brought them to her mouth, moaning slightly as she chewed and licked her lips, and Bella couldn't keep her eyes off of his Adam's Apple as it bobbed up and down when he swallowed.

"Okay, I'm just going to say it," she finally declared after a few more longing glances at each other. "This is really..." _Don't say hard. Don't say hard._ "Difficult."

"I know," he sighed, nodding his head in agreement. "It's taking all I've got to keep myself from attacking you right now."

"May I ask why you brought me all the way out here when we can't do anything yet?"

"Well, you said you wanted privacy; This was the first place that popped into my head. Besides, I never said we couldn't do _anything_." He waggled his eyebrows at her playfully, which only caused her to moan louder. "What's wrong?"

"Would you _please_ stop making such adorable faces?" Bella whined.

"Why?"

"Because the cuter your face gets, the more I want to sit on it!"

"_Fuck_!" he hissed through his teeth, lunging across the console at her and sending their bag of trash flying in the process.

His lips crashed into hers with an almost painful force, his tongue probing her mouth hungrily as he pulled her to him roughly. Once Bella realized what was happening she responded eagerly, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and sliding her hands up the back of his neck until she was anchoring his head against her, kissing him with everything she had to give.

"You just... can't... _say_ shit like that, Bella!" he groaned into her mouth, punctuating his words with flicks of his tongue around hers, sucking her bottom lip between his teeth for emphasis.

"Why?" she gasped, her lips already feeling swollen from his kisses. "It was the truth."

"Because my control is so weak right now, it could snap at any second! Here, feel." He grabbed her hand and ran it down his abdomen, bringing it to rest on the prominent bulge in the front of his jeans. "Feel what you fucking do to me!"

"Oh god," she moaned, closing her fingers around it, cupping him firmly. "Then do something about it! Fuck me and put us both out of our misery!" She began to tighten her grip, rubbing and squeezing him through his jeans until his eyes were rolling back in his head.

"Bel-la," he whimpered, forcing himself to look at her again. "_Please_... just a little more time."

"But _how much_ time? That's what's killing me! This open-ended cockblocking is just torture!"

"Soon," he panted, leaning over to place open-mouthed kisses down her neck. Peter had called him that very morning to let him know that he had a meeting scheduled for that afternoon that sounded promising, and Edward had instructed him to inform him the second he had an answer. "I'm supposed to find out today. As soon as I know when, you'll know when, I swear." He lapped at a bead of sweat that had collected in her collarbone before shifting and starting back up the other side of her throat. When he reached her earlobe he sucked it between his teeth, nibbling lightly and pulling back to whisper in her ear. "If I have my way, it will be as soon as humanly possible."

His hand began to wander up her side, stopping to close over her breast, the firm peak of her nipple poking into his palm. She arched into him more fully and cried out, her head reeling from an overload of sensation.

"Edward … please … I _need_ …"

"What do you need, beautiful girl?" he said in the most delicious, husky whisper against her skin, his tongue and lips making her forget her own name. "Tell me. Let me help you."

She could barely think, her head was so foggy with lust, so she let her body take over for her. Giving his erection a final squeeze before letting go and loving the hiss it caused him to make against her mouth as they kissed, she slid her hand back between their bodies until she could slip it inside the waistband of her pants... and then down farther, inside her panties. She was met with an embarrassing amount of moisture, her outer lips slick and swollen with desire. Sweeping two fingers across her heated sex, she pulled her fingers back out and held them up in front of his face.

He stopped everything he was doing, transfixed at the sight of her fingers coated and dripping with her nectar. A primal shudder ran through him, making his cock grow impossibly harder. Before he could gather his wits enough to say anything, Bella shoved them between his lips.

At the first taste of her juices on his tongue, a loud growl ripped loose from his chest and echoed in the car. Edward began sucking on them furiously, honestly worried that he might pass out from the absolute heaven of finally tasting her again. Only when he had lapped up every drop could he pull away long enough to snarl two words at her.

"Back. Seat."

She didn't need to be told twice, scrambling out of the car and running to the back. By the time she had shut the door, he was already next to her, pulling and yanking at her pants and underwear as he kissed her frantically. Once he'd gotten them down over the swell of her hips and towards her knees, he started inhaling in choppy, ragged breaths between his kisses.

"_Fuck_ … I can fucking _smell_ you already," he grunted, leaning back on his knees long enough to rip one of her shoes off and toss it in the front. "I need to see you, baby … I missed this delicious, beautiful fucking pussy … so much."

Bella could hardly speak; she simply tried to keep from hyperventilating as she panted and kicked her legs to help him pull her pants the rest of the way off. By the time they had one leg free, they both decided it was enough without saying a word, letting the rest of the fabric bunch up around the shoe on her other foot as it dangled over the floormat.

"_Oh my god_," he gasped, unable to look her in the eye once his gaze had locked onto her dripping sex. "You're so fucking wet for me, baby." He ripped his t-shirt off over his head and pulled up on her hips. "Here, lift up." When she was up high enough, he slid his shirt underneath her, putting a barrier between her and the upholstery. Slowly he slid his hands between her thighs, pulling her legs wider until her free leg was resting with her foot on the back window ledge. "_Oh fuck_," he whimpered. "I thought I remembered how perfect you were … how gorgeous this was." When he finally glanced up at her, he looked almost apologetic. "No memory can compare."

And with that, he promptly buried his face between her legs.

The sounds that emanated from that car would have terrified any unsuspecting hiker that might have happened by after that. Edward's groans and Bella's cries of pleasure blended together to make some sort of raw, primal soundtrack to their stolen afternoon.

He licked and sucked at her wet, swollen flesh, quickly feeling drunk on her lust. Swirling his tongue around and around her clitoris, he would leave just long enough to dip it inside her opening a few times before flattening it out once more and making long, broad swipes back up to her tightened bundle of nerves. When he eventually felt her hands clamp down on his head and hold him there as she started to grind herself into his face, he growled over and over against her things that she thought were merely animalistic grunts, but in truth it was his possessive mantra of _Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine!_

Edward was so hard that he was throbbing painfully, unconsciously shifting his hips against the seat beneath him as he devoured her to relieve some of the pressure. When he slid two long, slender fingers deep inside her and began massaging her from the inside while she bucked against him, he knew that it wasn't going to be much longer before she found her release. And when he curled those same fingers upwards and pressed in just the right spot, causing her inner muscles to clamp down and grip him tightly while she screamed his name and flooded his fingers with her fluids, he knew it wasn't going to be much longer before he found_ his_ release, either.

Bella's hands gripped and pulled at his hair as she rode out her explosive climax, damn near passing out from the pleasure. As she was just finishing crashing back down to reality, she was surprised to feel a huge tremor pass through Edward's body, a guttural moan escaping his throat before he collapsed with his head on her stomach. She stroked his hair lovingly, realizing that she had missed this intimacy with him even more than she had thought.

"That was so … so fucking _amazing_," she panted. When he didn't reply after a moment, she looked down to find that his face was buried in her stomach. "Is something wrong, baby? I didn't forget about you, you know. I just needed a second to recoup," she laughed lightly. "You almost knocked me out, there."

"Um... I don't really think you need to do anything right now," he mumbled, still averting his eyes.

"But I want to! I miss you, too. We should have enough time if we hurry," she said, starting to sit up.

"Uh, no, that's okay," he replied, pushing her back down. "Just rest here for a minute before we have to go back. That took a lot out of both of us."

"Honey, is something wrong?" She was beginning to get concerned at how distant he was acting. "Why won't you let me help you, too?" She propped herself on her elbows and forced his chin up until he was looking at her.

"Because I don't exactly need any help any more," he muttered, his face turning beet red.

"Oh!" It finally dawned on her what he was trying to say. "You mean you... already?"

"Yes!" he snapped.

"Well, that's okay," she smiled. "Why are you so upset? Didn't you pretty much do the same thing yesterday?"

"That was different, it was intentional. This... wasn't."

"Why does that matter? I mean, I'm bummed that I can't repay the favor until later, but what's the big deal?"

"The big _deal_ is that I haven't blown my load like a teenager since I fucking _was_ a teenager. I got so goddamn turned on going down on you that I couldn't hold it once you started coming."

"Well, that's no reason to be embarrassed. I'm actually flattered."

"Flattered?"

"Yeah," she smiled. "Now that I think about it... it's kinda hot."

"How can you possibly find that hot?"

"Okay, pretend for a second that you could switch it around. Look how turned on you get just knowing that I'm wet for you. How hot would it be if I just got so excited while sucking your dick that I couldn't stop myself from coming without having anyone lay a finger on me?"

"Fuck... when you put it like _that_," he laughed.

"Exactly. It would drive you crazy, don't even try to say it wouldn't. It's the same for me. I'm actually going to have a very hard time concentrating at work this afternoon, just thinking of you so turned on for me."

"Speaking of work, we better get you back before you're late."

"Oh crap," she sighed, glancing at her watch. "Yeah, we should get going."

Bella shimmied back into her pants awkwardly, grabbing her shoe from the front seat and shoving her foot in it. When Edward sat up and lifted his shirt to put it back on, she gasped loudly.

"Good lord! Please don't tell me you are thinking about wearing that again."

"What? Why not?" He held it up and turned it back and forth, showcasing the enormous wet spot that had soaked through both sides of the material. "I don't see anything wrong here," he chuckled. "It's just a little love stain."

"Well, there's a whole lotta love on that shirt!" she laughed.

"No kidding, I think I might frame this thing. I mean, it's like a personal best. I sort of feel accomplished right now."

"No fair! If you get to frame that, then I get to scrapbook those jeans you're wearing."

He looked her in the eye and winked. "Touche."

Getting out of the car, Edward walked to the back and popped the trunk. After a minute of listening to him rustle around, Bella grew tired of trying to guess what he was doing and stepped out to follow him.

The sight that greeted her nearly made her heart stop.

Edward was standing in the bright sunshine, completely nude, rifling through a few boxes in his trunk.

Once she finally regained her composure enough to speak, she cleared her throat dramatically. When he stopped what he was doing long enough to look at her, she couldn't help but laugh. "Uh... baby, what the hell are you doing?"

"I have a box of old clothes in here with some of my art supplies," he explained as he shoved a few more things around. "I was thinking of maybe doing some sketching or painting out here later, and I always keep spare clothes around in case I get splattered on."

"You got splattered on, alright," she teased.

"You can say that again," he mumbled to himself as he tore open another box. "Ha! There they are."

Bella watched as he climbed into another ungodly sexy pair of jeans that rode low on his hips, accentuating the fact that he was going commando. She would have been perfectly fine to stand there slack-jawed and staring for the rest of the day, but when he pulled an old black t-shirt over his head and turned around, she almost squealed when she saw the _I'm Old Gregg_ on the front of it in large white letters.

"Oh my god! Where did you get that?"

"Over in England a few years back. Why do you look so surprised? I told you I was a Boosh fan."

"I don't know... I guess I just..." Bella had no idea how to articulate the fact that seeing him in a goofy old novelty shirt struck such a chord with her that it was like she was looking at a mixture of her soul mate and her wildest dream come to life. Smiling up at him bashfully, she blushed. "I guess I just really like it."

"Come here." He held his hand out to her, pulling her closely the moment his fingers closed over her own. "I guess I just really like _you_," he whispered, leaning down to capture her lips in a soft, gentle kiss. No one had ever looked at him like that before, as if he were the answer to all of their prayers, and the reality of seeing that expression coming from _her_ made him a bit lightheaded.

When Bella broke the kiss a moment later, she leaned her head on his shoulder and sighed loudly. "I hate to say it, but I really do have to get going."

Edward chuckled lightly to himself. "I know, beautiful. Let's get out of here."

They jumped back in the car and took off towards town, getting her back to work only three minutes late, which was actually better than either of them thought it would be. She thanked him for lunch and... other things, agreeing to talk again later that night at the apartment after she got off work. When Bella made it back to her desk to clock in, Angela took one look at her and started laughing.

"What's up, Nooner?" she cackled.

"Shut up!" Bella hissed under her breath. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh whatever, bitch! Nobody, and I repeat, _nobody_, goes to lunch with _Edward Fucking Cullen_ and comes back looking that satisfied without having just been fucked eight ways from Sunday."

"We did not have sex!" she gritted through her teeth, brushing through her hair quickly with her fingers and checking her reflection in the small hand mirror she kept in her desk.

"Okay, Bill Clinton," Angela smirked. "Whatever you want to call it."

"Don't you have some shitty baby to go tend to?" Bella muttered, glancing around for eavesdroppers.

"Nope," she grinned widely. "My first one no-showed, and yours is still updating her insurance, so spill it."

"What do you want to know?" she moaned, knowing that with Angela, resistance was futile.

"For starters, how the hell do you know _Edward Fucking Cullen_, and how long has this been going on?"

"How did you even know it was Edward?"

"_Please_, Jessica had the entire office on red alert the second you walked out the door. Now she's got a whole new reason to be bitchy to you."

"Why? They didn't date, too, did they?" Bella gasped, trying not to throw up a little in her mouth.

"No! But if she'd had it her way, they would have. Hell, we _all_ would have!" Angela sighed wistfully. "Don't get me wrong, I love Ben, but Edward was the unattainable perfection that we all fantasized about getting our hands on back then." _Yeah, that helps my jealousy issues. _"Anyway, stop changing the subject. I want details!"

Bella finally caved, feeling immediately better having someone she talked to on a daily basis up to speed with her life. She went on to explain that Rosalie Cullen had been trying to set them up a few months ago, but thanks to things like an unhappy engagement and an untimely death, it just wasn't the right time for either of them. However, she hinted that the sparks had still flown between them, and when they bumped back into each other over the weekend it had been a whole different story.

It wasn't the whole truth, but it wasn't a lie. She wanted to share as much as she could while still maintaining a modicum of privacy. The last thing she needed was to inadvertently give away their biggest secret, something that she'd be perfectly happy to take with her to the grave without anybody else finding out.

"Have you told your father yet?" Angela gave her a knowing look.

"No," Bella groaned. "It's all so new. You're really the first person I've talked to about it other than his sister."

"How do you think he's gonna take it? I mean, won't everyone else in the world pale in comparison to Jacob the Golden Boy?" Angela had been open in her dislike of Jacob for years, hating the way he seemed to control everything that her friend ever did, and her respect for Bella's father had dwindled severely for the same reason.

"Oh, I don't think it will be that bad. I mean, it feels weird because I've never had to introduce him to any guys before, but I think it will be alright. He's starting to accept that Jake and I were just never meant to be, and I know he'd never admit it, but I think he's proud of me starting over on my own."

"Well... good luck with that."

They both got back to work, each of them helping their respective patients for the rest of the afternoon. Whenever they would bump into each other again, Angela would ask another question, trying to get to the bottom of the "Bedward" mystery, which is what she had already dubbed them as a couple. By the end of their shift, Bella had promised to ask Edward about possibly going out on a double date soon to grab a drink together, which tickled Angela to no end; Jake had never been remotely interested in hanging out with any of Bella's friends in the past, leaving her to make excuses for so many years that Angela had finally stopped asking.

Driving home in her massive heap of a truck, Bella let her mind wander back through the day's events. She had survived her first day of new coupledom at work, fielding questions left and right after Bigmouth Stanley had blabbed to all who would listen that she was dating someone new. She also took it as a personal accomplishment that she'd somehow managed to make anyone with a pulse completely jealous of her for that someone being a certain Mr. Edward Cullen. The same Edward Cullen, in fact, who had treated her to a delicious lunch followed by an even more delicious orgasm.

All in all, it hadn't been too bad of a day.

As she turned into her parking lot, trying to think of what she might throw together for dinner, her phone beeped in her pocket; it was a text from Edward. Flipping it open excitedly, she felt her heart begin to pound in her ribcage when she read the two little words on the display screen.

_Next weekend ~ E_

Finally! They had a deadline to their frustration. She let out an enormous sigh, surprised at how much better she felt just knowing that in a little over a week, they would once again be able to share themselves completely with each other. Hell, she was pretty sure that she might even be able to make it that long without actually sexually assaulting him in the process.

Had she said the day hadn't been too bad? Scratch that.

The day was shaping up to be fucking perfect!

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So we finally have a date for our poor horny kids. Think they can make it that long?

Let me know what you thought of Bella's naughty little lunch break. Now that the crazy holidays are over, I'm going to try REALLY hard to keep up on the updates.


	26. The Only Exception

Sorry for the delay on the update, folks. I had unexpected visitors last weekend that severely cut into my writing time, and then I somehow threw my neck out and couldn't stand to type for longer than about ten minutes. But, better late than never, right? Anyone? Bueller?

**Disclaimer: I don't own them, but they are slowly warping my brain. **

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_And I've always lived like this_

_Keeping a comfortable distance_

_And up until now I had sworn to myself_

_That I'm content with loneliness_

_Because none of it was ever worth the risk_

"_The Only Exception" ~ Paramore_

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Edward was gone for the next two days, only giving Bella the cryptic explanation that he needed to 'finalize' a few things in Seattle before their big night in just over a week. She pouted when he wouldn't give her any more clues than that, but gave up gracefully when he assured her that being away from her for that long was going to be pure torture and promised to call her every night before bed.

When he arrived in Seattle Peter introduced him to Maggie, the owner of _Breaking Dawn_, a trendy new gallery that was gaining a lot of notoriety in the local art scene for its bold and ballsy collections. They spent the better part of an afternoon going over Edward's demands and Maggie's ideas, trying to make them meet somewhere in the middle. When they had finally reached a compromise, they agreed to meet the following day to go over the final details of the plans that Maggie was going to finish drawing up that night.

Not quite sure what to do with himself for the rest of the night, Edward took a deep breath and called his sister, shocking the hell out of her when he asked if she and Jasper wanted to grab some dinner. A few hours later, he sat in a lavishly decorated guest bedroom and dialed Bella's number.

"I was beginning to think you were never going to call," she teased as she answered the phone.

"Sorry 'bout that, baby. I went out with Alice and Jasper. We just got back."

"Oh, you did?" she smiled. "That sounds fun!"

"It really was," he said, unable to hide the surprise in his voice. "That Jasper's a funny fucker once he finally starts talking."

"I know," she agreed. "I can't tell who's funnier, him or Emmett. They both crack me up. Did Emmett and Rose go, too?"

"No, he's out of town til next week and apparently Rose has been glued to her computer lately working on a new story."

Bella perked up like a curious puppy. "New story? What new story?"

"I don't know, fangirl," he laughed. "You'll have to ask her yourself. Whatever it is, I'm sure it will have lots of smut in it."

Bella sighed loudly. "Oh, I hope so! She does it the best."

"Really? I always thought _we_ did it the best," he smirked.

"Well, when it comes to practical application, sure, but in the written form it's all her." They both laughed lightly, enjoying their easy banter.

"I missed you so much today," he whispered after a brief lull had settled over the conversation. "I know it's only been a few days, but I need to have you close to me. I want to be near you all the time, and it's worse now than it ever was before."

"How do you mean, 'worse than before'?"

"Well, before, I couldn't get you out of my head. I was always wondering if my beautiful goddess was going to visit me. But _now_... now that you're mine... _my_ beautiful Bella... I just can't be close enough to you. I can't get enough of you in my life. I'm happy for the first time I can remember in years, and the only thing I'm high on is you."

A loud sniffle could be heard on the other end of the phone. "I love you, Edward," she eventually managed to choke out. "I love you so much."

Every time she said it, his heart skipped a beat. "God, I love you, too, baby. So fucking much. I don't really know how to handle it, it's so overwhelming."

"Yeah, me either," she chuckled, wiping her eyes.

"What are you thinking?" he asked after she was silent again.

"That I really wish you were here right now... and that we didn't have to wait any longer."

"Soon, Bella. So soon. And I can't wait to be back home so I can hold you again."

"You know, I don't think I've ever heard you refer to Forks as your home, even though you grew up here. You always acted like you were just passing through."

"Home is wherever you are. I know that now."

"God Dammit!" she sobbed, shedding fresh tears. "Stop doing that!"

"Doing what?"

"Saying things like that! I don't know how to take them, and they only make me miss you more."

"Just take them as the truth."

"I do... I believe you, it's just... I'm not used to hearing things like that."

Edward smiled. "Well, you better start getting used to it. Apparently you've tapped into my inner cheeseball."

"Then can't you mix it in with something naughty? Give me a chance to adjust to the little girl you've become?" They both laughed at that, feeling a new lightness in their mood.

"How's this? Bella, I love you more than anything and can't wait until I get to slide myself inside your tight little body again and fuck you rotten."

"Ooh, yes... that's more like it!" she giggled.

"It's true, you know," he said, his voice growing more husky and heated.

"Hey, don't start that unless you plan on a repeat phone performance."

That reminded him where he was, and he shut his eyes in frustration. "Shit! Good point. I'd love nothing else right now, but I'm at Alice's place for the night. I don't think I'd want them to hear us."

"I thought you were going to stay at a hotel."

"I was, but when Alice heard that, she insisted that I cancel my reservation and stay here."

Bella sighed again, rolling her eyes. "Damn that little shit, always interfering! Oh well, it's a big deal to her, you know; having her brother stay over. I bet you made her day by calling her up like that. I'm glad you did. She misses you more than you realize."

"I think _I_ missed her more than I realized, too." They chatted for a few more minutes and said their goodnights, each of them refusing to hang up first, feeling like blushing fourteen-year-olds with butterflies in their stomachs.

The next morning, Edward was awoken by some ungodly caterwauling in the kitchen that turned out to be some pop song Alice was blasting about partying in the USA. When he walked in covering his ears and scowling, she stopped mixing the pancake batter and turned down the speakers for her iPod.

"Sorry! Did I wake you?" When he merely grumbled out the word _coffee_ and trudged off in the direction she pointed to pour himself a cup, Alice went back to her mixing. After pouring out four large scoops of batter onto the sizzling griddle, she set down the ladle and turned around to face him. "I hope pancakes are okay. I wanted to make you something, but I haven't been to the store yet this week. So, it's either this, or Grape-Nuts, and if I remember correctly you won't eat that."

"Blech!" he shuddered, making a face as he walked around the island and sat on a stool across from where she had gone back to scraping and flipping. "How can you eat that nasty shit?" His voice was hoarse from sleep, and he hovered over his steaming cup as if it were the answer to all of his prayers.

"It's not so bad if you heat it up and sprinkle a little sweetener on it."

"And thus change everything about it in order to tolerate it. No thanks."

"I guess that's fair. I'm like that with Jasper and his grits. No way. I won't even make them, he has to wait and get them whenever we go out for breakfast."

"Where is he, anyway?" Edward asked as he sipped his coffee.

"He had to go into the office; there was a meeting he couldn't get out of. I canceled my morning, though."

"You didn't have to do that, Al. Or make the pancakes."

"I wanted to. For both."

"Then thank you very much. For both."

They were quiet for a few minutes as she dished up two plates, placing one down in front of Edward and walking around the counter to hop onto the stool next to him. Taking turns drowning their breakfast in maple syrup, they both chewed and swallowed huge mouthfuls in silence, only an occasional grunt or sigh proving that they were enjoying the meal.

"So," Alice said around a mouthful of food, "how are things with Bella?"

"Mmph," he grunted, nodding until he swallowed. "Good. Better than good, actually."

"Oh, I'm so happy for you two!" she dropped her fork and clapped enthusiastically. "Have you guys dropped the L bomb yet?" At the telltale coloring of her brother's cheeks, she laughed loudly and bounced up and down. "Ooh! You did! You did! Who said it first? Tell me, tell me, tell me!"

"Jesus, Alice, what are you, twelve?"

"Oh, shut it! Can't I be excited? You're my brother, and I've never seen you so happy."

"That's because I _haven't_ been. Being with her is just... God, Alice... I don't even know how to describe it."

"Like you found the other half of you?"

"Yes! How did you know?"

"Story of my life, brother dear."

"Is it always so... intense?"

"Yes. At least it is for me. But you get used to it after a while; you learn to adapt."

"Fuck, I hope so. This shit is seriously consuming me. And you know what scares me the most? The fact that it _doesn't_ feel weird. I am seriously way too attached to this girl, _way_ too fast, and rather than being bothered by that, I just feel... right. Does that make any sense?"

"Of course it does, Edward. You're preaching to the choir, here. The first night I met Jasper, I asked him what his last name was. When he asked me why, I told him it was so I could find out what my new name was going to be. Any other guy in the world would have run screaming to the hills, but he just smiled and kissed me. And it just felt right."

"Jesus... I always thought stories like that were bullshit. Now I'm in the middle of one."

"Well I, for one, am thrilled that you're not fighting it any more," she said, picking up the empty plates and tossing them in the dishwasher. "It's like you're a different person since you came back... or more like the real Edward we all know and love decided to come back to us." She turned to him again, her face growing serious. "No matter what happens, I'll always love Bella for that."

"For what?"

"For giving me my brother back." She absently wiped at a tear as she spoke, and before he had time to think about it, Edward had crossed the room and pulled her to him in a fierce hug.

"Hey," he whispered, rocking her back and forth. "I'm the lucky one. I have my whole family back and a woman I'm crazy about. I feel like I won the karma lottery or something."

After they had both cleaned up, they decided to take a walk down to the Public Market since Alice still needed some groceries and Edward's meeting wasn't for a few hours. He'd been evasive over dinner the night before when they asked him why he was in town, but Alice refused to let it go for a second time. When he finally relented and told her what he was planning, she threw down the cucumber she was looking at and started jumping up and down, insisting that he tell her every single detail.

Once Alice had been updated and sworn to secrecy, Edward paid for her groceries as a thank you for the room and the pancakes, and he even carried them home for her. Noticing that it was getting close to his meeting time, he grabbed his things and kissed his sister goodbye.

"Aren't you staying another night?" she called after him on his way to the door.

"Depends how late this all goes. I'd really like to get back earlier if I can."

"Good luck!"

His meeting with Maggie and Peter ran longer than he'd hoped it would, both of them wanting to tweak a few more details with the final arrangements, and by the time they were done it was well after dinner time. As soon as they wrapped things up he tried to make a break for it, until Peter took him aside and reminded him that they were going to treat Maggie to dinner as a thank you for expediting everything for them with such short notice. When he started to complain, Peter told him that it was the least they could do for her, and that he and Tanya had done it many times for different gallery owners who hadn't put in half as much effort in twice as much time.

Huffing loudly, Edward drove himself separately, hoping to leave town as soon as possible. After he parked at the restaurant he grabbed his phone, shooting off a quick text to Bella on the way inside.

_**May not be able to call, stuck in late dinner meeting. Miss you. ~ E.**_

He set his phone to vibrate and joined the others inside. A few minutes later, he felt his pocket buzzing. Not wanting to appear any ruder than he already did, he took it out quietly and peeked at her reply under the edge of the table.

_**Jesus, meetings? What the hell are you planning? ~ B. **_

_**(Miss you, too)**_

He smiled to himself, eager for the following weekend so that he could show her just how much she meant to him. Glancing up and nodding in reply to make it appear as if he was actually listening to something Peter and Maggie were babbling about that couldn't have interested him less, he quickly typed out another message.

_**Shh! It's a secret. And I'm not telling. ~ E.**_

_**Alright, fine. But then I'm not telling you what I'm wearing right now. ~ B. **_

"Everything okay, Edward?" Peter asked him after he broke into a coughing fit trying to cover his groan.

"Uh, yeah. I'm fine, sorry. Think I inhaled some Parmesan cheese or something." When they finally slipped back into their conversation, he sent back another.

_**Very cruel, baby. I gotta go for now. Love you. ~ E.**_

Deciding that he should probably at least _try_ to pay attention for the rest of the meal, Edward worked himself back into the discussion they were having, and before long he was surprised to find that he was actually enjoying himself. Maggie had a lot of fun, fresh ideas for her gallery in the future, and Edward meant it when he told her that he hoped his name might help to draw her even more business.

"Oh, I can't imagine that it won't," she smiled. "But even if it didn't, I wouldn't care. I've been a huge fan of your work for years; it's an honor to be able to help you now."

It wasn't until after dessert and coffee that they finally said their goodbyes, and when Edward checked his watch again it was almost eleven.

"Dammit!" he swore to himself as he climbed in his car. Reaching for his phone to call Alice and pissed that he had to stay another night, he was surprised to see that he'd missed another text from Bella about twenty minutes before that.

_**Sorry we couldn't talk tonight. I'm calling it a night & heading to bed. Miss you and love you! ~ B.**_

Edward flashed on the image of her curled up in her bed, thinking of him as she drifted off to sleep. Before he knew what he was doing, he had turned his car towards the interstate and finished dialing Alice's number.

"Hey, there," she answered on the second ring. "You heading back over for the night?"

"No, I'm driving back now. Just wanted to let you know I wouldn't be back."

"It's a three hour drive! You'll fall asleep," she warned, the worried tone in her voice easy to pick up.

The image of her sleeping in _their_ room flashed before his eyes again, and suddenly there was no other place in the world that existed. He glanced at the keys dangling from his ignition, the light reflecting off of one that was old and brass and had seen better days. "I'll be fine. I'm going home."

And he was, to the only home he'd ever known.

~/LTIF\\~

Sometime after five in the morning, Bella opened her eyes begrudgingly, not wanting to ruin the best dream she'd had in months. Not knowing what had woken her since she still had another hour before her alarm clock went off, she closed her eyes again tightly, trying to will herself back to sleep, hoping that just once she would be able to pick up where she had left off in her dream. In it, Edward had come to her, sliding into bed next to her in the darkness, wrapping her up in the warmth of his arms. It wasn't the content of the dream that was so wonderful, she had certainly had more erotic dreams recently, but it was the fact that it felt more real than any other dream she'd had in her entire life.

Concentrating so hard on the heat of his body that she could swear she still somehow felt it, Bella was startled when the bed shifted behind her and a large hand with long, slender fingers slid under her tank top and settled on the bare flesh of her stomach. Choking back a loud squeak, she shifted her body enough so that she could roll over and face her dream visitor.

"Mm... stop wiggling," a deep voice slurred next to her in the darkness, sounding heavy with sleep.

When her eyes finally adjusted to the lighting, Bella was treated to the sight of Edward curled against her, his face peaceful with rest. Boober was rolled up in a fuzzy ball behind the back of his knees, effectively trapping him under the covers, and Wembley was stretched out on the pillow beside him, slowly tapping the tip of his tail against Edward's forehead. It was so cute she hated to ruin it, but she knew firsthand what it was like to wake up to an eyeful of cat ass.

"Get!" she whispered, shooing Wembley away with a few gentle nudges until he relocated himself next to his brother. He took his sweet time moving, and the look he shot her as he padded across the mattress told her exactly what he thought of her at that moment.

Once Edward was free of his cat bandana, Bella snuggled against him, wrapping her arm around his side and resting her hand on the firm muscles of his back. Kissing him softly on the lips, she pulled back just far enough so that she could look at him without her eyes crossing.

"I thought I dreamt you," she whispered, so close to him that her warm breath fluttered against his skin.

"Mm," he mumbled, pulling her more firmly against him without opening his eyes. "Sleep."

Too excited to relax, she pressed him further. "I thought you were going to stay over another night."

"Missed … you," he finally replied on the tail end of a loud yawn, distorting his words as he exhaled. "Couldn't wait."

"Aww," she cooed. "So fucking adorable." She burrowed her head into the nook between his jaw and his shoulder, breathing him in deeply. Just as she was about to drift back off to sleep, another thought occurred to her. "Hey, how did you get in here?"

"Still have my key. Was really happy you didn't change the lock."

"Never," she said with a catch in her voice, turning her head to kiss the angular curve of his jawbone. "I could never lock you out of our place." And then in an even smaller voice, "I kept hoping you would walk through that door."

That woke him up further. He reached up behind her and smoothed her hair back, cradling her head gently against him. "I've never told you how much it meant to me that you kept this place. When I learned that you were living here now... I just knew. I knew we had a chance."

Bella tilted her face up to meet his now serious gaze. "I couldn't let you go. It was all I had left of you."

"I'll be thankful for that for the rest of my life."

Their lips met in a tender kiss that slowly burned hotter. When he felt the wet tip of her tongue flicking against him, searching for entrance, he opened to it gladly. As the kiss deepened and they swallowed each other's moans, Edward began to feel himself stirring in his boxer briefs, so he tried to pull his hips back from her a bit to keep from poking her in the stomach. Bella, however, had other plans.

As soon as she felt him trying to scoot away from her, she slid her hand down to his ass and gripped him firmly, pulling him back until his hardness was rubbing against her inner thigh. Moaning loudly against his mouth, Bella wrapped her leg around his hip, sending the grouchy cats who were sleeping behind him running for the other room. Before he could stop himself, Edward had cupped her bottom and thrust his hips, grinding his erection more directly against her moist heat.

"God, baby... we have to stop," he gasped as he pulled himself away from trailing wet kisses down the column of her neck.

"_You_ stop," she panted, getting up on her knees and shoving him until he was laying flat on his back. "I'm doing no such thing." Kneeling at his side, Bella threw back the covers, exposing him to her hungry gaze. As soon as she saw the dark gray cotton of his underwear tented up with a telltale wet spot growing at the tip, she let out the most animalistic grunt that he'd ever heard her make before pulling and yanking the elastic down over his hips.

"What... what are you doing?" he somehow managed to ask, mesmerized by the look of determination on her face.

"Relax," she huffed, not looking at him until his boxers were down past his knees. "I'm not going to attack you... even though it's the _least_ you deserve for showing up in my bed half naked like this," she smirked. "I mean, a girl can only take so much teasing before she snaps."

She reached out and gently touched her fingertip to the underside of his cock, trailing it slowly up the length of him as it strained back towards his abdomen. When she reached the swollen tip, she swirled her finger around the collecting moisture she found there, causing Edward to hiss loudly through his teeth. It wasn't until he looked back up and met her stare that she wrapped her fingers around his shaft and squeezed.

"Oh fuck!"

"No, not quite," she said, giggling to herself. "_Someone_ won't let me yet. But don't think for one second that I forgot it's my turn to return the favor." With that, she leaned over and sucked him deeply into her mouth, not stopping until he was hitting the back of her throat.

"Jesus Christ!" he groaned, instinctively bringing his hand to the back of her head to guide her movements. Bella worked him viciously, bobbing her mouth up and down his length, swirling her tongue around him on the upstroke. His grunts and moans were steadily growing louder, accentuated by the thrusting of his hips. "Fuck, baby... it's been so fucking long since I've felt you there... your goddam perfect fucking mouth." He sounded like he could almost cry from the pleasure, and there was more than a few times that he had to stop himself from just grabbing her and pounding into her until she choked.

Bella moaned around him as she moved, growing more and more aroused at how primal his noises were becoming. She began to sway a bit on her knees, seeking out the friction between her thighs that she was starting to need more than oxygen. Before long, she felt Edward's hand slide down from the back of her head to the back of her thigh, moving swiftly between her legs and pulling her panties to the side. One very long, talented finger slipped inside her aching heat, and after she moaned so loudly that it vibrated down the entire length of him to settle in his balls, he added a second.

"That's it, baby. Ride my fingers." He plunged them into her deeper and deeper, loving the way that she worked herself on him, bucking and grinding her hips while her inner muscles squeezed him tightly. "God... you're so fucking _wet_!" he whimpered when he felt her juices starting to drip down his hand. She could only moan and nod, unwilling to stop feasting on him for even a second.

Edward slowly pulled his fingers free and sucked them into his mouth, the hypnotic flavor of her making his eyes roll back. With a possessive snarl, he reached over with both hands and started pulling at her panties, tugging them down over her bottom as he jerked her hips closer to his face.

"Get these fucking things off or I'm going to rip them," he growled. She lifted her knees, allowing him enough clearance to slide them down past her calves until she could kick them the rest of the way off. As soon as she was freed, he was pulling at her hips again. "Get the fuck over here right now."

When she was close enough he grabbed her, lifting her up so that she could swing one leg over to the other side of his head. Without any other warning he settled her over his mouth, lapping at her swollen folds as she writhed around, squirming from the overload of sensation. Never once did she let up on her own task, sucking him deeper still and loving the feeling of his grunts and snarls against her wet flesh.

Bella bucked and swiveled her hips, grinding herself against his eager tongue, and when he slid two fingers back inside her from behind she thought she might actually die from the intense pleasure. Knowing that she was going to be absolutely useless from the strength of her impending orgasm, she decided to something new in the hopes of getting him there faster. Leaning forward, Bella sucked him as deep as possible; only this time when he bumped the back of her throat, she swallowed.

It took her a couple of tries to relax her muscles enough for it to work, but when she felt the broad tip of him pushing into her throat she imagined that she was a porn star and Wonder Woman all rolled into one. When Edward let out a guttural moan against her and involuntarily jerked his hips, she felt damn near smug. _Eat your heart out, Jenna Jameson._

Bella could tell from how tense Edward's thighs were that he was about to come, and the fact that he had begun working her even harder meant that it was going to be a race to the finish. His long fingers slid deeper and deeper, curling at just the right spot while he sucked on her clit, his own moaning making the most sensational vibrations. By the time Bella reached down to cup and massage his scrotum, it was all over.

The feeling of him swelling unbelievably harder in her throat sent her careening over the edge, and the feeling of her screams around his cock and the tightness of her inner muscles clamping down on him made Edward come so hard that his ears began ringing. There was a brief moment when they became one enormous, shaking orgasm, and it would have been impossible to tell where he ended and she began.

Bella fell to his side, barely enough energy to drag herself up next to him and collapse on his chest. No words were spoken between them, both out of exhaustion and awe at what they had just shared.

Before long, they were both asleep.

~/LTIF\\~

"Have I ever told you how much I love this little patch of freckles on the back of your shoulder?" Soft lips pressed to the area in question as Edward wrapped his arms around Bella from behind, looking up at her over her shoulder in the mirror.

"I didn't even know I _had_ a patch of freckles there," she laughed, leaning forward to finish applying her makeup.

"Well, you do. And it's adorable. I can't tell you how many nights I would lay awake, thinking of it."

Bella stopped and looked at his reflection again, her lipgloss applicator suspended in midair. "You thought about my freckles?"

"Of course I did," he smiled, kissing her shoulder again. "You have tons of little treasures all over your body. Like this tiny chicken pox scar here, on your hip. Drives me crazy!" He leaned over and pulled the elastic of her pink cotton boyshorts down a few inches, smacking his lips loudly against a spot on her skin that she'd never even noticed before.

"Oh, you're crazy, alright," she giggled, a blush spreading over her exposed flesh at the thought of him paying such close attention to her. "I guess I'm not one to talk, though; you have a mole on the back of your neck that makes me want to do naughty, naughty things."

"Where?" he asked in disbelief, standing up and turning, trying to angle his head so that he could see himself in the mirror.

"Right here." Bella touched the small brown spot just below his hairline, and the gentle glide of her fingertips across his skin sent a shiver through his body.

"Stop that, you're giving me goosebumps."

"Gee, maybe that's because you're still standing here in a towel with wet hair. Now, would you please go and get dressed already? I'm trying to get ready for work and having you here looking like that and kissing on me is _not_ helping!"

"Alright, I'm going," he sighed, raising his hands in mock surrender as he backed out of the bathroom. "But only because you're going to lick my neck mole if I don't."

"Don't you forget it!" she called after him, rolling her eyes at how silly he was being and secretly loving every minute of it.

By the time Bella had thrown on her scrubs and tossed her hair up in a messy pile on top of her head, Edward had already dressed and stood waiting for her by the door, munching on a warm s'mores Pop Tart. As she grabbed her purse and joined him to leave, he held out the pastry's twin to her, causing her to stop in her tracks.

"Here, I thought we could split a package since you're running late." When she didn't say anything for a moment and continued to stare at the item in his hand, he began to worry. "Oh, hey, I hope that's okay. I mean... I hope you don't mind that I helped myself. Shit, I should have asked, huh?"

After another second she reached out and took it, slowly shaking her head. "No, no... that's fine."

"Then what's wrong?" he asked as she walked past him in a daze, heading for the stairs.

"Nothing," she called back absentmindedly, leaving him to lock up as she nibbled her breakfast on the way to her truck.

Edward hurried after her, grabbing her by the elbow once he caught her in the parking lot. "Here, why don't you let me drive you today? I can pick you back up later and we can hang out here tonight, how does that sound?"

"You don't have to do that," she said quietly, averting her eyes from him.

"Who said anything about 'have to'? I _want_ to. Besides... I don't feel right letting you drive off like this. You're starting to worry me." With that she finally looked up, and Edward could see the tears collecting in the corners of her eyes. "Bella, _please_ tell me what's wrong! I won't know how I fucked up if you don't tell me."

"You didn't do anything wrong, I swear. I'm just being stupid." When she tried to look away again he reached out and grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him.

"Hey, I'm serious. Tell me what's going on."

"It's just that... nobody's ever made me breakfast before."

"Bella, it was just a Pop Tart."

"I know," she sniffed. "I know. But it was just a sweet, considerate thing to do. I guess I was just overwhelmed for a minute."

"Overwhelmed by what?"

She tried to look away again but he wouldn't let her move. "By how much I love you," she whispered.

Edward tried to ignore how much his heart soared at her words, focusing instead on whatever had her upset. "You say that like it's a bad thing. I'm constantly overwhelmed by my feelings for you... by how strong they are, and I love it."

"It doesn't scare you?"

"No, honestly. It makes me feel alive." He leaned down and kissed her gently. "I've never felt so alive as I do when I'm with you. Why are you scared?"

"Because... I won't be able to take it this time if you leave again. I already need you too much as it is."

"Okay, gimme this shit." He grabbed the cooling Pop Tart and her purse and set them on the roof of his car before grabbing her face with both hands. "Look at me. Are you listening?" At her silent nod, he continued. "You have every right to feel that way after the way I left before, but I need you to know that it's never going to happen again. _Ever_. Do you understand me?"

"But what if—"

"No. No 'what if's'. I tried to fool myself into thinking that I didn't need whatever this is between us, that I could live without it... and it nearly ruined me. I kept telling myself that I didn't do anything wrong because I never promised you anything, but it was all a lie."

"What are you talking about? _I_ was the liar. I was the one who was engaged to another man. You didn't owe me anything."

"That's where you're wrong. From the first moment these hands touched your skin, I promised you my heart. I belonged to you from our very first kiss, and every kiss after that only bound me to you even more. When I left, I turned my back on that promise. I should have stuck it out and told you how I felt, but I ran away with my tail between my legs."

"We're both guilty of that," Bella sighed. "I should have ended my engagement the day I met you. I knew after that very first night that I would never feel that way again with any other man... even attempting to would have been pointless."

Edward smiled down at her, sliding his fingers across her cheek to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "This connection between us is too powerful to fight, I know that now. I have no interest in even trying to exist in a world without you. Can we just... I don't know... start over?"

"I thought that's what we _were_ doing."

"Yes, but we need to have faith in each other. I'm with you now, and I'm not going anywhere. I need you to believe that, or else you're always going to doubt me."

"I don't doubt that you love me, Edward. I can feel it every time you look at me. I can hear it every time you say my name. I'm just... apprehensive, I guess. I'm worried that it could all disappear again."

"That's what I'm talking about. I need you to stop holding me at arm's length."

"What do you mean? I love you and I want this to work. I don't want to be without you."

"I know that, but if we are going to have any real chance of starting over, you're going to have to give me the benefit of the doubt. I'm putting everything I have on the line for you; you may not realize it yet, but you will soon. Hell, my entire family is head over heels in love with you and I'm pretty sure they'd choose you over me if I ever fucked up again."

"Oh, stop," she blushed, trying to look away again.

"No, it's true and you know it. I've opened up my life and my heart to you more than anyone else in my past, and that includes being married for ten fucking years. I'm ready to give this everything I have, but you haven't even told your father about me yet, have you?"

Bella blinked a few times, shocked by his question. "Well... no. Not yet."

"Why not? Are you ashamed of me?" he asked, his words tainted with the slightest hint of insecurity.

"Of course not! How can you ask that?"

"Well, like I said, you've already met everyone in my family. They all played a part in getting us back together; they know all the messy details of how we first met. Now, I'm not saying he needs to hear all of that, but I think it's a bit messed up that he doesn't even know I exist."

Bella immediately felt ashamed that she'd never considered his feelings on the matter. She'd been happy to let Edward court her and invite her into his life, but when it came to returning the favor her actions had been sorely lacking.

Leaning in, she pulled him to her in a fierce hug. "I'm sorry," she said against the fabric of his shirt. She could feel his hand close over the back of her neck, stroking her skin lovingly. "I never thought about it that way. I really did intend to introduce you... I guess I was waiting to make sure this was going to work first."

"I understand," he said quietly, kissing the top of her head. "I made you a little gun shy; I get it. I just want the chance to make it up to you, and if you won't let me in I'm worried that will never happen."

"You're right," she sighed.

It wasn't fair to stand back and watch him jump off the cliff alone. It was time for her to hold his hand and take the leap together.

Bella pulled back and looked up into his patient jade eyes. "Edward... would you come to breakfast this Sunday? I'd love for you to meet my father."

She didn't think it was possible for his eyes to be any more beautiful, but the way they glowed with the blinding smile he gave her made her feel weak in the knees.

"I'd love to."

xxx

xx

x

* * *

So what did you think, guys?

I wanted to let you all know that yours truly was interviewd for the Fandom Spotlight podcast and it posted on Sunday. If you want to have a listen to me swearing and talking about naughty things, the link is on my author page.

Also, I was absolutely THRILLED to learn that LTIF has been nominated for FOUR different Golden Lemon awards this time around! Be sure to stop in and vote for your favorites!


	27. Brighter Than Sunshine

I don't own them, they own me.

* * *

_I never understood before_

_I never knew what love was for_

_My heart was broke, my head was sore_

_What a feeling_

_Tied up in ancient history_

_I didn't believe in destiny_

_I look up you're standing next to me_

_What a feeling_

_What a feeling in my soul_

_Love burns brighter than sunshine_

_Brighter than sunshine_

_Let the rain fall, I don't care_

_I'm yours and suddenly you're mine_

_Suddenly you're mine_

_And it's brighter than sunshine_

"_Brighter Than Sunshine" ~ Aqualung _

.

..

...

Edward had never been quite so nervous in his entire life.

As much as he wanted to share every part of Bella's life with her, he was floundering in completely foreign territory, never once needing to meet a girl's father before. Tanya's father had been long dead, sapped of his will to live and escaping his miserable existence with a convenient heart attack by the age of forty-five, leaving behind a den of vicious gold-digging whores for his own trophy wife to raise. Meeting her mother hadn't been the same; she had been so busy flashing dollar signs in her eyes as she sang her daughter's praises that it was anything but intimidating.

Edward knew that he had _technically_ met Chief Swan before, but it had barely been a passing nod in a diner and was hardly the same thing as announcing that he was the new guy giving it to his daughter. It didn't even matter that they hadn't officially had sex since they'd been dating, it was still understood that they eventually _would_, and that was already enough ammo for her father to hate him.

_God forbid if he ever caught wind of what I __**have**__ already done to her._

Edward steered his rental car into Bella's lot, panicking slightly at the imposing sight of the police cruiser that was already parked in his usual spot. Pulling in beside it, he turned off the engine and checked his reflection once more in the rearview mirror anxiously, as if he were being graded on his appearance. His entire walk across the alley and up the stairs to her apartment was set to a soundtrack in his head, a never ending loop of worried ramblings.

_Calm down, calm down! He'll see how much I love her. Even if he still doesn't like me, Bella won't let that come between us. Right? _

Bella met him at the door with a tight smile, her own nervousness clearly visible in her eyes. He could hear the sounds of SportsCenter blaring in the background as she stuck her hand through the opening, grabbing his arm in a quick squeeze as she mouthed the words _I love you_. For some reason, that little affirmation was all he needed to steady his own heartbeat. This was a first for both of them, but knowing that they would get through it together helped more than any pep talk he could give himself.

Smiling his first genuine smile of the morning, Edward nodded to her quickly, letting her know that he felt the same and was ready for whatever she had in store for him. He could see some of the tension melting away from her features as her own smile brightened and she opened the door wider.

"Good morning!" she said loudly, signaling to her father behind her that their guest had arrived. Edward noticed that the volume on the television turned down in the background, but it didn't turn off. "Thanks for coming." She leaned in and kissed his cheek quickly, stepping aside to let him through.

"Thanks for inviting me." He stopped in the doorway and held out a half gallon carton of orange juice awkwardly. "Uh... here. I don't like to go places I've been invited empty-handed. I usually bring wine for dinner, but since this is breakfast... juice?"

"Aww, thank you. I actually only thought to buy coffee, so this is great." Bella took the carton from his hand, desperately trying to control the flip-flopping that her heart was doing at the adorable face he was making. "Why don't you come in?" She motioned to the man in uniform who was sitting on the loveseat and currently pretending that he was watching TV rather than listening to every word they said. "Dad, this is Edward Cullen. Edward, this is my father, Charlie."

"Edward," he nodded gruffly. Bella glared at him until he finally stood up, knocking the sleeping cats off his lap.

"I'm pleased to finally meet you, Chief Swan," Edward returned, holding his hand out in greeting. He didn't care what Bella said, there was no way in hell that he was calling that man Charlie to his face yet.

"I'd say likewise, but since I only heard about you _two days ago_," he stressed, shooting Bella a stern look as he shook Edward's hand, "it would probably be more fitting for me to simply say that it's nice to meet you." It didn't escape Edward's notice that his other hand rested on his gun holster as he spoke, but whether it was for intimidation or simply a force of habit, he couldn't tell.

"_Dad_," Bella warned, giving him a look that clearly said she wasn't about to have that discussion again for the eight-hundredth time.

"Actually, we've already met," Edward interrupted, hoping to switch the topic of the conversation.

"You have?" Bella squeaked, looking back and forth between them.

"Only once, a few months back. I was with my brother Emmett at the time." He watched as Charlie's face lit up with recognition.

"Oh yeah, at the diner, right? How is your brother?"

"Very well, thank you."

"He's a good kid. Bit of a trouble maker back in the day, but always a good attitude."

"Well, excuse me, gentlemen, but I'm going to go finish up in the kitchen. It should only be a few more minutes," Bella said, turning towards the other room.

"Did you need any help?" Edward asked as she walked away.

"No, but thank you. I just have to get it all together. Stay and talk." She winked at him quickly before continuing on her way.

"Absolutely, Edward, have a seat," Charlie motioned to the open space next to where he'd just been sitting. Once they were both settled in front of the television and the volume had been turned back up, he steered the topic into more familiar waters. "So what does that brother of yours think about the Seahawks this year?"

"Uh... well... to be honest, I don't follow sports as closely as he does, but I know he said that they're looking pretty good right now. They'll start training again before too long and I know he's excited to be in one place for a while."

Bella peeked through the doorway of the kitchen as she scooped scrambled eggs into a large serving bowl. As she looked back and forth between the two most important men in her life, it was as if she could feel something click into place... and she just knew.

This was _right_.

It might be awkward until they worked out all the kinks and everyone got used to each other, but it seemed that Charlie was the final piece of the puzzle. Her life felt complete in a way it never had before.

"Alright, breakfast is served," she called out a moment later, her hands full with platters of food.

"Here, let me help you," Edward smiled, jumping up and holding his hand out.

"Oh no, I've got this, but there are a few more on the counter in the kitchen if you'd like to grab some and carry them here to the table."

"Sure thing." He walked into the kitchen expecting to find one or two more platters of food, only to be bombarded with an entire buffet. "Holy shit," he said to himself.

"I know," Bella chuckled behind him, causing him to spin around and look at her. "I tend to overcook when I'm nervous. I hope you brought your appetite."

"I'm always starving when I'm with you," he whispered, leaning down to kiss the side of her neck.

"Hey now, none of that," she scolded lightly, but was unable to hide the purr of contentment that bubbled up as he kissed her. "Let's get this out there before it all gets cold. Dad," she yelled out as she walked back into the front room, "turn that TV off, please. And no guns at the table."

Charlie grumbled something under his breath as he removed his holster and draped it over the arm of the couch. When he joined them at the table his eyes nearly bugged out of his head. "Jeez, Bells, ya think we've got enough food here?"

"Oh be quiet. I didn't know what everyone would be in the mood for, so I thought I'd cover my bases."

"Well, I think it all looks delicious," Edward smiled.

For the next twenty minutes the conversation was fairly light as they ate, simple things like work schedules and the best places to fish in the area. Hearing the word 'fish' made Bella shudder, which led to her asking Edward if his family might have any use for a freezer full of the stuff since Charlie was running out of room at his house and she refused to let him give her any for her place.

It wasn't until they had all finished a second plate of food and were sitting back to let their stomachs settle that Charlie decided it was time to play Dad again. Leaning forward on his elbows and directing his gaze towards Edward, he let the first question fly.

"So... Bella tells me that you're recently widowed. Don't you think it's a little _soon_ to be so serious about someone else again?"

"Dad!" Bella shot straight up in disbelief.

"No, he has every right to be concerned," Edward waved her back into her seat, expecting something like this. "I probably would be, too. It doesn't look very good on paper." He smiled at her softly before turning back to Charlie. "Yes sir, that is correct. I _am_ recently widowed. However, my wife and I had been separated for quite some time and were actually in the process of filing for divorce when she died. And in all honesty, I couldn't say that I've ever been this serious about anyone before, so this isn't exactly happening _again_ for me. It's the first time."

"Yet you _married_ her," Charlie goaded.

"Dad!"

"Yes I did. And I was also very young and impulsive and immature." He looked to Bella, reaching out and holding her hand in a gesture of comfort. "I want to do things right this time around."

"Do you have any children?" he pushed.

"No, sir. Thankfully we didn't have to involve any children in our mistakes."

Charlie flinched at his words, glancing quickly at Bella before continuing. "Do you want any in the future?"

"Dad, this isn't an interview. He's my boyfriend; he already got the job."

"It's alright, Bella," Edward soothed. "He's simply curious and direct." He thought for a moment before looking back up at Charlie. "Well, before? I never thought I wanted any. However... there's something about finding the perfect person that tends to change a person's outlook. Now? I think I might like that a lot. Someday," he added.

"You _do_ know how ass-kissy that all sounds, don't you?" Charlie laughed.

"Yeah, I know. But it doesn't mean it's not true."

"Good point," he sighed. "Well, Edward... all I care about at the end of the day is that you treat my daughter right. She's something pretty special, you know."

"I figured that out the first time we met, sir."

"Which doesn't sound like it was all that long ago," Charlie arched his eyebrow, looking back and forth between the two of them. "But that's none of my business. As long as you are both happy and it works, then that's all that matters."

And just as fast as it had started, the inquisition was over.

A few minutes later Charlie moaned loudly, patting his stomach. "Well, I should probably get going, Bells."

"So soon?" she said, standing up to give him a hug goodbye.

"Yeah. I still have to go home and get some sleep before work tonight. Thank you for the enormous breakfast, honey. It was great." He looked at Edward and held out his hand, smiling when he shook it again. "Edward, it was nice to meet you. We'll have to do this again sometime."

"I'd like that, sir."

"Just call me Charlie," he added with a smile, grabbing his holster as he walked to the door and let himself out.

Bella sat back down with a thud as the door closed, her mouth hanging wide open.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked her, taking another bite of sausage because he felt like he needed to do something with his hands.

"This is..." she swallowed, looking back up at him. "This is really _real_ now, isn't it?"

"I'm afraid so, baby," he smiled, leaning over and kissing her cheek. "I've been Daddy approved. There's no getting rid of me now."

~/LTIF\~

The rest of the week flew by faster than expected. Most nights Edward would end up back at the apartment for dinner, followed by watching movies with Bella cuddled up next to him on the loveseat. _Watching_ was probably a loose definition, though, since by the end of the night neither of them could ever remember what they'd just seen.

On Wednesday night, Edward agreed to join Bella for drinks with Angela and Ben. He was thrilled to be seen around town with his beautiful new girlfriend on his arm, and Bella couldn't get over how nice it felt to actually be able to do things with her friends again without pissing her boyfriend off. They all had a great time, and Edward found it particularly hard to leave for his own home that night when he was reminded that a very tipsy Bella was a very _handsy_ Bella.

Before long it was Friday, and Bella was trying to pack her bag for the weekend. The only thing Edward would tell her was that he was taking her to Seattle and that they were leaving in the morning. Staring down at her empty luggage, she huffed loudly and grabbed her phone.

"Change your mind already?" Edward laughed as he answered the phone. "I can be there in ten minutes, you know."

"No way! If you expect me to get any sleep tonight _and_ be up early in the morning to leave on time, then your sweet ass better not be anywhere near me tonight. You are _much_ too big of a distraction."

"Alright," he sighed. "Then what did you need?"

"You have to give me a better idea of what to pack. I have no clue what to bring, and I don't feel like lugging my entire closet for a two day trip."

"Well, if I had my way you would be naked for the next two days, but I suppose you will need a few things here and there."

"Seriously, Edward. If this is just some naughty sex romp at a hotel... don't get me wrong, I'm all in... but then I need to know so that I can pack every scrap of lingerie I own and nothing else. If you actually expect to take me out in public when we're there, then I need to know what else to bring."

"Okay, I suppose you're right. Make sure you have something casual and comfortable to wear for the ride there and the ride back. Other than that... just the lingerie."

"Ooh, so it _is_ a sexy hotel romp!" she squealed.

"No. Well, hopefully later, but not the whole time."

"Argh! Then what am I supposed to pack for Saturday night? Formal? Casual? Help!"

"I told you, just the lingerie." He paused for a moment before adding, "Unless you want all _new_ lingerie for tomorrow... then don't bring anything. I'm going to drop you off at Alice's when we first arrive in town; she's going to take you shopping for something new while I finish a few last minute details."

"Jesus, you're frustrating when you're secretive!"

"But you love me," he teased.

"I do... _dammit_," Bella huffed. "See you in the morning." She ended the call and tossed the phone down by her empty bag. Deciding to take him at his word, she stuffed the sexiest lingerie she owned into it as well as a few functional pieces. When she finished she made herself go to bed early, only to lay awake half the night with butterflies circling in her stomach.

The next morning Edward picked her up at eight o'clock, wanting to get on the road early so they would make it to Seattle before noon. Bella packed a thermos of coffee and some donuts for the road, and the two of them set off together on their very first road trip. They had a great time, playing silly old car games like _I Spy_ and _The Alphabet Game_, and they each took turns playing DJ with their iPods.

About halfway there, Edward pointed out his side window and called out, "Horse!"

Without even thinking, Bella immediately responded with "_Damn_!" in her best New Zealand accent. Once she realized what they had just said, she turned to him slowly, a brilliant smile lighting up her features. "Oh my god, did you actually just quote _Eagle vs. Shark_?"

"Well, yeah. And you quoted back. I thought you were playing along." He noticed the astounded look on her face and turned towards her. "What? I thought that was one of your favorite movies?"

"It is. I just didn't realize you were actually paying attention when I had it on the other night. Anyone I've ever tried to show it to just looks at me crazy and asks me to put something else on."

"What are you talking about? I was laughing through the whole thing with you; it was hilarious. It's one of the few movies I really remember seeing this week," he smirked at her, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. "Great soundtrack, too. I recognized a lot of those songs from your Kiwi playlist."

"You remember that?" she gasped.

Edward reached over and grabbed her hand, glancing away from the road momentarily so that he could look her in the eye when he kissed the back of her fingers. "I remember everything, Bella. _Everything_."

After that, neither one of them cared much about playing car games any more. Bella scooted as close to him as possible, laying her head on his shoulder, each of them listening to the music without saying a word.

When they reached Alice's condo, Edward parked long enough to walk Bella upstairs and deposit her and her luggage in the middle of the living room. He promised Bella that he would be back for her no later than six-thirty to take her to dinner, kissed his sister on the cheek after whispering something conspiratorially in her ear, then disappeared out the door like a phantom.

"Well, so much for our weekend away together," Bella pouted.

"Hey, none of that!" Alice chimed in, grabbing her bag off the floor and carrying it to the guest room. "He's just got a lot of things to get done before tonight, and so do we!"

"What do you mean? I thought we were just going shopping for a little bit."

"Please, sweetie, this isn't amateur hour. We've got to find you the perfect dress and shoes for tonight before our salon appointment at four. Now, Rose is going to meet us at the department store by noon, so we need to get a move on if you don't want to face her wrath."

They hurried across town, beating Rosalie by a few minutes and teasing her mercilessly for it. As soon as they were all together, Alice barked out orders like a general, sending them each in different directions to cover more ground at once. When they reconvened about forty minutes later in the dressing rooms, there were nearly two full racks of outfits for Bella to try on; sixteen versions of the perfect little black dress.

After a marathon changing session, they all agreed on just the right one. It was simple and elegant, yet made Bella appear very sexy and sophisticated. A quick trip through the shoe department merited a sinful new pair of high heels, and their final stop before leaving ended up with Bella agreeing to pick out a new set of lingerie after all.

The girls insisted that she model a few different choices for them, and when she came out in the black satin corset and garter set with the delicate blue ribbon trim, both of them applauded loudly.

"Are you sure this is the one?" Bella called out, turning a deep shade of red as she ducked behind the changing room door to avoid any extra onlookers getting a peep.

Rose merely cackled in response. "Girl, that's it! If you're giving me a lady boner already, I can't imagine what that thing is gonna do to my pent up brother."

"I agree," Alice giggled. "I sorta want to smack your ass a bit now. You've been hiding the goods, girlie."

"I don't know," Bella bit her lip in concern, joining them once she had gotten dressed. "Is this sending the wrong message, though?"

"What do you mean?" Rose asked. She pointed at the item in question. "That sends out the message that you want to get fucked cross-eyed. That's the truth, isn't it?"

"Well... yeah," she fought back another blush as she spoke, still adjusting to being so open about her private life with other people. "But I get the impression that he wants this to be deep and meaningful tonight. How deep and meaningful can it be if he's got me bent over the end of the sofa within five seconds flat?"

"Damn, now you're talking my language!" Rose laughed.

"Bella, sweetie," Alice explained, "These kinds of things are romantic because of _who_ we do them with, not _what_ we do. Jasper and I go away on romantic trips all the time, but I would rarely call the nasty things we do to each other romantic. It's about sharing the passion together as much as the love."

"Exactly," Rose nodded. "There are so many ways to have sex. Sometimes it's rough and dirty, sometimes it's gentle and tender. As long as you love your partner, it's _all_ meaningful."

"I get it, I really do. It's just that... I don't want Edward to think that I'm trying to derail his special night by tempting him too much. Does that make sense?"

"Bella, from what you've told me about your little agreement and how he's been acting lately, it sounds like he has gotten lost in his own sappiness. If you ask me, it sounds like that boy could _use_ a good ole dose of temptation to remind him that he's not a twelve-year-old girl and you're not some delicate flower." Rose looked pointedly at the lingerie in her hand before arching her eyebrow in challenge. "Am I right?"

Bella took a deep breath and smiled. "Ring it up."

~/LTIF\~

After shopping, the girls had taken her to their favorite salon for a bit of pampering, and when they got there she was surprised to find that all three of them had appointments at the same time. Alice simply shrugged off her questioning gaze, saying that it was all about feminine solidarity, to which Bella rolled her eyes and told her to remember that when it came time for the bikini wax.

By six o'clock, Bella was standing in front of the full-length mirror in Alice's bedroom, trying to recognize the sexy, confident woman looking back at her through the smoky eye makeup. Her hair was piled loosely on her head in some form of constructed chaos that looked effortless, but had taken nearly an hour to style, and she still had no idea how there weren't streaks of burgundy lipstick on her teeth when she smiled.

_I actually look like a grown up. _Bella glanced down at the large amount of cleavage that her corset created and giggled to herself. _A slightly slutty grown up._

"Hey guys?" she called out to the other room, still looking at the stranger in the mirror. "Are you _sure_ this isn't going overboard? I don't think I put this much effort into prom."

"Isn't Edward worth a little effort?" Alice smiled as she walked through the door, handing her a glass of champagne.

"What's this for?"

"Celebration."

"What are we celebrating?" Bella asked, holding out her glass to clink it against Alice's.

"The fact that you're finally getting some tonight!" Rose laughed, coming through the door with her own glass raised. "Perhaps we can all go back to our normal lives now that balance will be returned to the sexual force."

"Oh ha ha, Obi-Wan. Very cute." Bella tried to shoot her a menacing glare, but it was ruined when her laughter broke through. She sipped at her drink for a moment as she looked at her two dear friends, slowly realizing that they were dressed just as formally as she was. "Hey, I thought _I_ was the one trying to sexy it up tonight. You both look gorgeous! What's up? Are you coming to dinner, too?"

"Uh, well—"Alice looked caught off guard for a second until Rosalie jumped in.

"Hell no! We've got no interest in watching you two moon over each other all night, do we?" She looked at Alice pointedly until she shook her head in reply. "Besides, we are much too hot tonight to waste all this sexiness on you. We plan on grabbing our menfolk the second they walk in the door and taking them out on the town."

"Yeah, Jasper and Emmett won't know what hit them," Alice added, rubbing her hands together as if she were an evil mastermind.

"Well, whatever amazing things you do tonight, it's not half of what you deserve." Bella stepped closer and hugged them both to her, all of them trying to avoid spilling their drinks. "I can't thank you enough for everything."

"_Please_," Alice sighed. "Like we need a reason to shop!"

"Not just the shopping. _Everything_. You two have been there for me so much lately... I couldn't imagine what the last few months of my life would have been like without you."

"Ugh, bitch... stop it before you make me cry and ruin my makeup!" Rosalie huffed, wiping at the corner of her eye.

Just then there was a light knocking at the front door. Alice excused herself to answer it, only to call out from the hallway in a singsong voice in less than a minute. "Oh _Bella_... I do believe your date has arrived."

Swallowing down the butterflies that threatened to fly right out of her mouth, Bella took one last look in the mirror and steeled herself for her night of mystery with the man of her dreams.

Or so she thought she had... until she got a good look at him in his midnight blue Gucci suit.

He was absolutely breathtaking to behold, like some sort of majestic, fantastical creature... like a fairy... riding a unicorn... through a field of rainbows.

As she slowly walked towards him, Bella started to worry that when she was finally standing next to him she might look like some sort of troll who crawled out from under a bridge for the night. However, once she saw the shock and desire on his face as he stared back at her, she hoped that there might actually be a chance that she could hold her own.

Without a word, Edward grabbed her hand and pulled it to his lips. The heat in his gaze as he looked up at her over her knuckles was enough to make small beads of sweat stand out on her forehead.

"Stunning," he whispered, kissing her fingers again lightly before letting them go. "My beautiful girl, you are nothing short of stunning tonight."

"I was just thinking the same thing about you."

"Nonsense," he scoffed, sliding his hand to the small of her back and leading her towards the door. "I pale in comparison to this goddess on my arm." As flattered as she felt by what she thought were only pretty words, he meant every one of them.

After a scorching round of eyefuckery in the elevator that Edward clearly won, he led her across the parking garage to his waiting car. Smiling as he held open the door for her, his beautiful face distracted Bella so badly that she nearly missed noticing that something was different.

"Wait a minute," she said, one foot already inside the car. "Where's your rental?"

"What are you talking about?" he smiled again playfully.

"We arrived here in a black Nissan. This is a silver Volvo."

"Hmm... well that's odd, isn't it?" He motioned for her to sit down and he closed the door quickly, jumping in the driver's seat and revving the engine.

"It's also the same model silver Volvo that you were renting a few months ago," she continued as they drove across town.

"Imagine the coincidence," he smirked.

"Did you exchange your rental?"

"Nope."

"Then what? How did you get this particular car?"

"I bought it."

"You _bought_ it?" she gasped.

"Mm hm," he replied nonchalantly as he looked out the side window, as if it were nothing more than a cup of coffee.

"But... why?"

Edward pulled into the lot of an elegant seafood restaurant and parked the car. When he turned to look at her again, his face had become very serious. "Because I've never owned my own car. I've gotten by on rentals and taxis and even walking, but I never wanted any ties to anything before... I didn't want any attachments. Just like I've always stayed in hotels or rented space to paint; I always wanted to be able to pack up and take off at a moment's notice without worrying about making arrangements."

"And now?" she whispered.

"And now... I think I could use a few attachments in my life."

"So you bought your very first car?" She looked around the interior before smiling hugely. "Then, congratulations!" Leaning over, she kissed him loudly on the cheek. "I'm proud of you. But what made you go back to this model when you could have your pick of anything?"

He slowly reached up to cup her face. "Do you really need to ask?" Lowering his head, he covered her mouth with his own, telling her with the slightest pressure of his lips how important their shared memories were to him. As he pulled away, he left a trail of gentle kisses on her face, over her cheeks and nose, ending with soft pecks to the fragile skin of her eyelids when they fluttered closed. "Come on, beautiful," he said against her flesh. "Let's get you inside before I have second thoughts and drive straight to the hotel."

"Fine by me," she exhaled, feeling lightheaded at how closely he hovered over her.

"Don't tempt me," he laughed lightly, his sweet breath tickling her. Planting one more kiss on the center of her forehead, he sat back and shoved a hand through his hair. "Seriously, you don't know how close I am to throwing all of my plans out the window. All it took was one look at you in that dress."

"Well in that case," she smiled tauntingly, "I couldn't _bear_ to waste the opportunity of making you squirm all night. Let's eat. I want to enjoy sitting across from you, knowing that the entire time you are eating, you are really imagining how quickly you could have me undressed."

"Who says I would bother undressing you first? I bet that skirt flips up fairly easily."

"That's very true. But then you wouldn't get to see what I have on underneath, now would you?" She laughed playfully, climbing out of the car and strutting towards the restaurant. One look at the seductive sway of her hips as she walked told Edward that he was in for a _very_ long night.

Their dinner was perfect. They ordered different items from the menu, sharing bites of their meal with each other. The evening was full of laughter and lighthearted conversation, and when it came time for dessert they split a decadent slice of cheesecake. Bella allowed him to feed her large forkfuls, taking particular care to wrap her lips and tongue slowly around the delicious treat.

"You're not playing fair," he gritted through his teeth, his eyes never leaving her luscious mouth.

"Who said I was playing?" she returned quickly, her tongue flicking against the tines of the fork before she closed her eyes and moaned at the taste.

"Check, please!" Edward called out, forcing himself to break his gaze. He knew that he needed to get moving if he was going to get her to the gallery on time, and sitting around staring at her while she ate was only serving as a distraction.

A few minutes later had him pulling out of the parking lot and heading towards Fremont, the hip, artsy district in the city. "So where are you taking me now?" Bella asked as she fastened her seatbelt, watching the Seattle skyline streak by through her window.

"You'll see." He turned his head long enough to smile at her, winking quickly before returning his attention to the road. When they reached a crowded street he pulled abruptly into a narrow alley, parking in a private lot that was hidden behind the corner building. As they walked around to the front entrance, Bella noticed a large group of people waiting to get in.

"Are we going dancing?" she asked, assuming that it was the line for a popular nightclub.

"No."

"Then where are we?" She glanced around at the unfamiliar faces as they walked directly to the front of the line. Some of them were giving her dirty looks in return, while others were ignoring her completely and staring openly at Edward. One woman even went so far as to tap her husband on the shoulder excitedly and point at him.

Rather than answer her, Edward guided her to the bored looking bouncer at the door. When he saw who had approached, he stood up straighter and cleared his throat.

"Good evening, Mr. Cullen," he said nervously, reaching quickly for the door handle.

"Good evening, Demetri," he nodded. "Big turnout, huh?"

"Yes, sir. We're almost at max capacity. I'm only allowed to go off the list until more people inside leave."

"Well, at least it's a nice night to be outside," Edward smiled, placing his hand at the small of Bella's back again, leading her through the open door.

"Is this... some sort of art exhibit?" she asked, looking around at the large crowds of people huddled around various oil paintings.

"What gave it away?"

"I'm sorry, that was a stupid question," she giggled. "I've just never been to one."

"Don't be sorry, I was only teasing you. Yes it's an art exhibit. Opening night, in fact. That's why it's so crowded."

"Do you know the artist? Is it a friend of yours?"

"As a matter of fact," he chuckled, "I've known him my entire life."

Something about the way he was speaking to her made her feel as if she wasn't quite catching on to some important detail yet. She looked around the large room more carefully, her head snapping back when she finally noticed large lettering that had been stenciled high on the blank wall above the first section of paintings.

_Mia Bella Donna_

_A New Collection by Edward Cullen_

Bella gasped loudly when all the pieces finally tumbled into place. _This_ was her surprise. "You did all of this... for me?"

"Everything, Bella." He gestured back and forth with his hand in large sweeping motions, indicating the crowd as well as the paintings. "Everything you see here is all for you."

The largest painting was the only one that she could see from across the room, but in it she recognized the rear view of a woman's bare shoulder and neck, her dark brown hair spilling in waves over her pillow as she slept. The focal point of the piece wasn't the woman herself, but of a smattering of light brown freckles on her shoulder.

It was her. And suddenly she knew, without even looking at any other painting... they were all her.

"But... why? _How_?" she choked out, already feeling the tears welling in her eyes. "When did you paint all of these?" The walls were covered; there had to be at least sixty paintings stretched out for as far as the eye could see.

"While I was gone," he whispered gruffly. When she looked up, it was to meet intense, smoldering jade. He reached up slowly and brushed a tear away from her cheek with his thumb."You were all I could think of … all I could see. I thought that I had lost you forever because of my own stupidity. This was my way of keeping you in my heart."

"What... what made you decide to show them like this? To display them for the world to see? You were so private about us before." She heard the waver in her voice and wondered if he could tell how close she was to bawling her eyes out.

"Because..." he took a deep breath before continuing. "I wanted you... and everybody else in the whole wide world... to know that I can't fucking _live_ without you." He cupped her face with both hands, leaning down to brush his lips gently against hers. "Bella... you are my life now."

With that, he pulled her into a crushing embrace, moving back only far enough to kiss her face repeatedly. This time, when he tasted the salt of tears on his lips, he wasn't foolish enough to think that they only belonged to one of them.

...

..

.

* * *

No, they didn't do IT yet, but don't worry. The smexy times are coming back, I promise.

Let me know what you thought.


	28. Chasing Cars

Let's get down to it, shall we?

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. They own me. **

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* * *

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_If I lay here_

_If I just lay here_

_Would you lie with me_

_And just forget the world?_

"_Chasing Cars" ~ Snow Patrol_

x

xx

xxx

They held each other closely and kissed for longer than was appropriate in a crowded room, only breaking apart when someone cleared their voice softly and tapped Edward on the shoulder. With her cheeks coloring brightly, Bella shyly looked over and was surprised to see the face of a trendy-looking redhead smiling back at the both of them.

"I'm very sorry to interrupt, Edward, but I just wanted to thank you once again for thinking of _Breaking Dawn_. This is by far the most successful opening I've ever seen here."

"Don't be silly," he smiled warmly. "You were the one who did me the favor of setting this up with such short notice, nobody else would touch it. I should be the one thanking you."

"Well, their loss is my gain," she laughed. "I don't like to be bound as tightly as some of the stuffier galleries around here. As soon as I heard that your name was attached, I was all in." She smiled at the beautiful brunette on Edward's arm, but right as she was holding her hand out to introduce herself, something that looked like a flicker of recognition flashed across her face. "Oh my god... you're _her_, aren't you?"

Bella blinked a few times, not knowing what to make of the animated woman. "Her?"

"Yes! _Her_." She swept her hand out, gesturing around the room at the many different canvases on the walls. "I would know those brown eyes anywhere."

Bella felt her face coloring a deeper shade of pink under the mystery woman's scrutiny. She followed the direction that her hand currently pointed and saw another large painting, this one showing nothing but a close up of her own eyes staring back at her in what could only be described as a very _heated_ gaze.

"I'm sorry, where are my manners?" Edward cut in. "Bella, this is Maggie. She owns this lovely gallery and is the sole reason that I was able to put this together for you so quickly. And Maggie," he smiled proudly, pulling Bella to his side. "This is my Bella."

"Her name is really Bella?" Maggie gaped.

"Of course. That's what made me think of the title of the show," Edward chuckled.

"What does it mean?" Bella asked, nodding to the lettering. "I know Bella means beautiful, but what about the rest of it?"

He leaned over and whispered into her ear. "It means 'my beautiful woman,' which is what you are. I wanted to work your name into it without it being obvious to those who don't know you."

"Well, Bella, may I just say that you are every bit as lovely as his paintings led me to believe," Maggie smiled, finally shaking her hand. "Some artist's renderings glorify and glamorize the subject so much that I can barely see the real people any more, but not so with Edward. There is so much truth and love in these images, I had no trouble seeing it, and these aren't even full portraits of you!"

"Thank you," she smiled. "Your gallery is truly lovely. I haven't really been to many, mostly museums, but I like how cozy and warm it feels here."

"I told you so, darling!" an extremely tall, regal looking woman said excitedly as she came up behind Maggie and draped her arm around her shoulder, leaning over to plant a quick kiss on her cheek. "Didn't I tell you the very same thing?" She looked at Bella and smiled brightly. When she spoke again, the faintest hint of an Irish accent could be heard. "This place feels comfortable, not like those cold galleries down the street."

It was Maggie's turn to blush at the loving praise. "Edward, Bella, I'd like you to meet my wife, Siobhan."

"A pleasure, Siobhan," Edward said as he shook her hand.

"No, the pleasure is all here, believe me. We have been such fans of your work for years. There is so much raw emotion in some of your pieces, I can't tell you how overwhelming it feels to stand in front of so many of them at once."

"Thank you. That's a lovely compliment." He absentmindedly pulled Bella a little closer to his side, as if simply being near her would give him the strength to face the long night of questions and opinions ahead of him.

"Have you two had the chance to look around yet?"

"Not exactly," Bella laughed lightly. "We were sort of... distracted at first. But I can't wait to see everything."

"Well, don't let me interrupt you any longer. I simply wanted to tell Maggie that we have reached capacity."

"_Already_?" Maggie gasped.

"Calm down, love. I just thought you might want to go over some more details with Demetri before the line gets any longer outside."

"I'm so sorry," Maggie apologized. "Edward, Bella? Would you please excuse us?"

"Of course," Edward nodded. "I've been dying to give this one a proper tour, anyway." Bella could feel his fingertips squeezing her hip possessively as he spoke.

"By all means, show the poor girl around. Let her see all of these amazing paintings she inspired!" Maggie reached out and hugged them both quickly. "Edward, I'll find you later if there are any questions or problems. Be sure to stop by the refreshment table for wine and cheese later. If they haven't eaten it all by then, of course," she frowned.

Bella smiled after them as both women scurried away to speak with the doorman. "Wow, they seem... elegantly frazzled."

"Yeah, I don't think they were expecting such a big turnout so early." He paused for a moment to look down at her, his eyes lingering over her strategically accentuated curves as they roved over her body openly. When his gaze finally settled on her own, it was full of heat. "I can't get over how amazing you look tonight." He exhaled loudly, shoving his hand through his hair. "How about we have that tour?"

"I'd like that." _Whatever keeps me from attacking you in public, Edward._

They slowly made the rounds, sipping on champagne as they walked, Bella refusing to skip over one single piece. There were so many touching images that she lost count how many times she began to tear up. Many were like the two she'd already seen, small pieces of her that he had come to memorize, while others were more symbolic. She saw a few with a bare mattress in the background, mixed in with other reminders of days gone by, like the candle and chocolates from their Valentine's picnic.

Edward was quiet as she looked, watching her for her reactions. He was always right behind her if she wanted to ask him something about one of them, or simply there for her if she needed him to hold her and reassure her of his presence. Nothing was graphic or _too_ revealing, but there were more than a few times that she buried her face in his chest to hide her blush, overcome by the sensuality of the memory captured.

One painting in particular caused her to stop in her tracks, covering her mouth to hide her gasp. Edward closed the distance between them and slowly wrapped his hands around her middle, pulling her back against his chest as he leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"Do you remember that night, Bella?" She felt his warm breath tickle her neck, and the sensation of that mixed with the seductive purr of his voice caused her flesh to tingle and her nipples to harden.

"_Yes_," she breathed, almost no sound to her voice. The painting showed the silhouette of two lovers dancing, locked in a heated embrace as the male figure dipped the female over a bed. "Our Tango."

"I knew I loved you, even then," he said against her skin as he softly kissed below her ear. "I wish I'd had the courage to just tell you."

"I could say the exact same thing," she said without taking her eyes off the canvas.

"Do you remember how our bodies moved together that night?" He continued to assault her senses, kissing and blowing along the length of her neck as he spoke. "I felt your soul. Being with you is like a religious experience."

"Of course I remember," she panted, nearly swooning from the effects of the champagne and his proximity. "I remember everything."

"Good." He kissed the top of her shoulder, sending ripples of pleasure down her body until moisture was pooling between her thighs. "I can't wait to start making a lifetime of new memories with you."

"Starting tonight?" she whispered, unable to hide the hopefulness in her voice. Edward pulled her back into him more tightly, slowly thrusting his hips forward until she felt his hardness rubbing against her lower back.

"Starting tonight," he growled.

Bella turned and looked up at him hungrily, the words _let's get the hell out of here_ on the tip of her tongue, when a familiar voice rang out behind them. "There you are!"

Edward winced, already knowing without looking who the voice belonged to, and who exactly he would see if he were to turn around. He took a deep breath and counted to ten, willing his body to calm down. Mouthing the words _soon, I promise_ to Bella, he planted a strained smile on his face and turned around to greet his entire family.

Alice had been the one to call out, and when Bella saw that she was surrounded by everyone else important in Edward's life, she finally lost her battle with her tears. As they streamed down her face, she ran forward and hugged both Alice and Rose, scolding them for keeping her in the dark about such an important event.

"Hey, don't blame us, we were sworn to secrecy!" Alice replied. "Our job was to get you ready for your date and keep you distracted. If we had let it slip, Edward wasn't going to let us in."

"Yeah, it was hard enough getting in as it was," Jasper laughed over Alice's shoulder. "Even having our name on the list and being related to the artist wasn't enough to get through the front door any faster."

"Sorry about that, guys." Edward rubbed the back of his neck in frustration. "I guess they're at capacity, and Maggie can only let in so many people as the others leave. I should have been watching for you, maybe there's something I could have done."

"Don't be silly!" Esme piped up, previously hidden behind Emmett and Carlisle as they each glanced around at different paintings. She walked forward and put her hands on Edward's shoulders, staring up into his worried eyes. "I was happy to wait. I was so proud that my talented son had so many people excited to see his work. And darling," she sighed, "you've outdone yourself. These are breathtaking."

"Really?" He had shown his work in galleries around the world, never once feeling awkward or seeking approval, but the moment his parents stood before him, Edward felt like a six year old child holding up a doodle that he hoped they might display on the refrigerator.

"Absolutely," Carlisle nodded, joining his wife in congratulating him. "Son, you know that I have followed your progress through the years. I will gladly admit that I'm more than a bit biased, but these are simply amazing. It's your best work yet."

Edward nodded sharply, swallowing past the painful lump in his throat. "Thank you," he uttered with a wavering voice. "That... really means a lot to me."

"Just as finally being here for you really means a lot to us. Thank you for letting us share this with you." Carlisle glanced between his wife and his son, leaning forward to speak more softly. "It's obvious how much you love her, Edward. I don't know what I'm more proud of right now."

Before Edward could offer another choked up reply, he was saved by his brother's interruption. "Dude, these paintings are fucking _hot_," Emmett laughed, clapping him on the back roughly.

"Emmett! Language!" Esme scolded. "I know you're a grown man, but could you at least _try_ to keep your voice down when you speak like that?"

"Sorry, Mom," he chuckled, leaning over and kissing her on the cheek loudly. "Why don't you two finish walking around? I know you haven't looked at everything yet. Alice and Rose just stole Bella to ask her embarrassing questions about these paintings; I'm sure you could catch up to them."

"No, no. Let them have their privacy. Come on, darling," she sighed, grabbing onto Carlisle's arm. "Let's finish appreciating our son's gift."

Emmett waited until they had walked far enough away to be out of earshot before speaking again. "So? Spill it. Did your grand gesture work?"

"Apparently so," Edward whispered. "She hasn't slapped me yet, and she seems to be moved by many of the pieces."

"I told you she would love it."

"Yes, I know. I was just worried that this might be _too much_ to take in at once, you know? Not everyone would be able to handle seeing so many intimate details of their private life displayed all over like this."

"True, but these are really tasteful. I'm just glad you took my advice and pulled those other two."

"Emmett, I never intended on showing those; they were just for me. You would have never seen them either if you hadn't knocked me unconscious and gone snooping that day."

"I wasn't _snooping_, they were sitting out." He watched as his brother arched an eyebrow at him in disbelief. "Dude, whatever. I'm just happy that her nips aren't up here for any old perv to stare at. That might have been too much for her, and then I would've had to kick your ass again."

"You really do care about her, don't you?"

"I told you before, she's like a sister to me now. Not just me... all of us."

"I'm really glad. She's never had siblings before, and I know how much you all mean to her now."

"Well... it's definitely mutual. So take good care of her."

Across the room, Bella was undergoing a similar line of questioning with Rose and Alice.

"You sure you're okay with all of this? I mean, it's so romantic, but I'm sure it's probably a bit overwhelming, too."

"Alice, I'm good. No need to worry. Yes, it's overwhelming, but mostly because I just want to be alone with him right now and I can't be."

"That's my girl!" Rose said proudly, squeezing her on the shoulder. "I knew you would be fine with all of this. And I must say, these paintings are so... _erotic_! I never knew Mr. Stick-in-the-mud had it in him."

"So he's got the Rosalie Cullen smut seal of approval?" Bella teased.

"Most definitely! Now, my dear... tell me more about this Tango painting," Rose grabbed her arm and led her back to where they had started. "I am _more_ than intrigued."

~/LTIF\~

It took over an hour for Edward to finally break free of the curious onlookers who set upon him after his conversation with Emmett. Three different reporters had spoken with him, taking his picture in front of some of the larger paintings that would translate well in the newspaper. It had all been a giant blur to him, though, his only concern being Bella and making sure that she was alright. No matter what he'd been doing at the time, he managed to search her out in the crowd. As if she could feel his eyes on her, she would always look up and smile, letting him know that she would be there for him when he was done.

And after their heated exchange in front of the painting earlier, he couldn't be done fast enough.

He needed her with such a ferocious intensity that it was becoming painful. Not only for his insistent erection that would resurface every time he thought of her, but for the ache in his chest that had been growing ever since she had walked away with his sisters.

Just knowing that they were finally going to consummate their official relationship had him feeling possessive and needy. Bella had been patient and allowed him to show her in his own way how much he loved her, and now that he was ready for everything that she was willing to give him in return... he was feeling extremely greedy.

When he spotted Bella speaking with Maggie and Siobhan again, he made his move. Coming up behind her and wrapping his hand tightly around her waist, he smiled at the two women before turning his attention to Bella. "Can I tempt you to leave?" he asked quietly.

"Edward, you are walking temptation," she whispered back, her sweet breath floating over his skin like a lover's caress. "All you have to do is say the word and I am all yours."

"Ladies," he said, holding his hand out to Maggie and Siobhan. "It was a pleasure, but I'm afraid we must be going."

"Yes, I can see that," Siobhan giggled.

"Thank you for everything tonight, Maggie. I look forward to working with you again in the future."

"Likewise. I'll contact Peter after the weekend with the final sales figures."

With one last nod goodbye, Edward steered Bella towards the exit. The moment they stepped outside his phone was in his hand and he was pressing a number on his speed dial. "Yes, this is Edward Cullen. I expect to arrive in less than twenty minutes." He listened briefly as they walked back to the car. "Yes, that's correct. All the arrangements have been made with the manager." He hung up abruptly, clearly in demanding business mode, and Bella hated to admit to herself how much it turned her on.

When they reached the car in the back parking lot he pressed the remote to unlock the door for her, but as soon as she tried to open it he pinned her roughly up against the side of the car, effectively slamming the door shut again.

"I need you, Bella," he growled in her ear, pressing his hardened body into her back again. "I've never needed you so badly."

"Oh god, me either!" she gasped, leaning her head back on his shoulder. "I'm almost in pain."

Edward's hand slid around the front of her dress, reaching up to cup her breast through the fabric. He bent down and nipped at the exposed flesh of her neck before licking his way up to her earlobe. After sucking it between his teeth and biting lightly, he released her long enough to whisper in her ear. "I wanted our first time together again to be sweet and loving, but I don't think I'm going to manage that tonight. I'm _hurting_ for you, Bella. Can you forgive my weakness?"

She pushed him back enough so that she could turn around and face him. "Edward, it's not weakness. It's still going to be loving; I love you and you love me." Her voice dropped lower until it was almost husky sounding. "Now get me to the fucking hotel and lovingly fuck my brains out!"

He didn't need to be told twice. Without another word he opened the door for her, closing it quickly behind her and jumping in, speeding off into the night. Unwilling to let any distance intrude as they drove, Bella scooted closer and put her hand on his thigh. She could feel from how tightly the muscles contracted under her fingers that he was barely staying in control.

"You're playing with fire, little girl," he snarled through his teeth without taking his eyes off the road.

"Good," she replied, taking her hand back and slowly lifting her dress to the top of her thighs. "Because I've got something over here that's rather scorching as well."

Edward glanced over long enough to get a glimpse of black garter straps attached to the sexiest pair of thigh-high stockings he'd ever seen. There were tiny blue bows at the end of each strap, and when he looked closer he could see that she also wore a black satin g-string with a matching blue bow.

Looking back just in time to see that he was about to run a red light, he screeched to a stop. "Fuck! Are you trying to get us killed?" he hissed, turning to stare openly at her display. "Jesus Christ, Bella... what the fuck are you wearing?"

"A present."

He reached over and delicately brushed his fingertips against the straps on her thighs. "A present, huh? Who's it for?" He moved his fingers higher and inwards, sliding through the dampness that had collected at the top of her thighs until he was brushing against wet satin.

"You," she moaned. "Always you."

He breathed deeply for a moment, trying to collect himself. When he spoke again, it was with a shaking voice. "God Bella...you're fucking _soaked_."

She put her hand on his cheek, directing him to meet her heavy-lidded gaze. "You, Edward. It's _always_ for you."

Just then a loud horn blared behind them, alerting them that the light had changed.

"Alright," he gulped, crossing through the intersection."I'm driving again. Maybe you should cover back up so I can concentrate."

"Is that what you really want?" she asked playfully.

"No."

"That's what I thought," she giggled. "I think you'd much rather see something like this." Bella lifted her right foot until her new sexy high heel was resting on the dashboard, opening her legs up more widely. He groaned loudly and went to reach for her, but she slapped his hand away. "No, sir. Hands on the steering wheel."

Once she saw his hand return to the wheel, she slid her fingers inside the tiny scrap of fabric masquerading as underwear and began to touch herself slowly. Her slick folds were swollen with need, and even when she began to stroke small circles around her throbbing clitoris, it only made her feel more hollow inside.

"God... baby... I need you inside here so badly," she nearly whined, her actions sending tremors through her legs and making them shake visibly.

"_Fuck_!" he gritted through his teeth, clenching his jaw tighter as he floored the accelerator. He would only allow himself furtive glances at the most erotic thing he'd ever witnessed, knowing that if he actually turned his head to stare he would end up crashing. "Soon, baby. I promise. We're almost there. There's nowhere else safe to stop on the way, or I would already be pounding into you."

"Hurry!" she cried, her inner walls beginning to clamp down on the single finger that she had slipped inside herself.

"Christ, you're too sexy for your own good," he ground out, wiping away a sudden sheen of sweat from his brow. "Come for me, baby. Just let go, and I'll make you feel even better in just a few minutes. Come all over those pretty little fingers and let me taste it."

His words were her undoing, his dirty talk sending sparks straight to where she was touching until she was crying out so loudly in the car that it echoed in his ear. Her body spasmed, flooding her fingers with a fresh coating of her juices. Sitting up quickly, she leaned over and shoved two glistening fingertips into his eager mouth.

Grunting around her digits as he sucked them clean, Edward silently prayed that he would be able to get her upstairs to the room without embarrassing himself in his expensive new suit. The sign for the _Four Seasons Hotel_ appeared as he turned the corner, and the sigh of relief he let loose was almost comical.

"Oh thank _fuck_! We're here, baby. Come on, cover back up before we reach valet and we'll be in the room before you know it."

After he pulled up to the curb to let her out, Bella stood for a moment on wobbly legs before she made her way slowly to the front door. Edward noticed the valet watching her appreciatively as she walked away, causing him to shoot him a stern look of warning before surrendering his car to him. As soon as he opened the door and sat down in Edward's place, the very distinct smell of delicious, aroused Bella wafted out into the night. The valet's eyes nearly crossed, and he was unable to hide a quiet grunt.

"_Fuck_, dude. Good for you." And with that he shut the door and drove off.

Edward wanted to be angry and offended, but he just couldn't find the energy; Bella was waiting for him. He ran after her, catching her just inside the front lobby.

"What about our luggage?" she asked, almost in a daze.

"Don't worry, it's already upstairs. I checked us in earlier this afternoon." He guided her into the elevator, keeping an eye out for any sudden extra passengers. The moment the doors closed, Bella was all over him.

"God... I want you," she panted against his neck, flicking her tongue over his skin before nipping and biting at his Adam's apple. She ran her hands down the front of his body and rubbed his erection through his pants, smiling at the feel of the vibrations under her lips when he threw his head back and moaned. When he tried to speak again, it was punctuated with tiny whimpers.

"Bella … baby … _fuck_!" He grabbed her shoulders, trying halfheartedly to push her away. "Baby, you gotta stop for a minute."

"Why?"

"Because I'm gonna come all over you if you don't." He took a deep breath to collect himself before continuing. "Now, as fun as that might sound if we were in bed and completely naked, I'd rather not explore that fully dressed in a public elevator."

"I'm sorry," she said, pulling farther back.

"Don't be sorry, just try to save it for the room. I'm wound so tightly after what you just did in the car, the littlest thing could set me off."

"So you liked it?" She smiled up at him shyly, biting her bottom lip.

"_Like_ is an understatement." He bent down and kissed her quickly. When he pulled away, the ding sounded to alert them that they had arrived at their floor. As soon as the doors opened, Edward breathed a sigh of relief, grabbing Bella's hand and running down the hall.

They kissed awkwardly and frantically the entire time he unlocked and opened the door, refusing to stop even as they walked inside. It wasn't until the door slammed shut behind them that they broke apart, and that was only long enough for Bella to shove him back against it. She kissed him furiously, pulling and tugging at the button on his pants before slowly lowering to her knees in front of him.

"Whoa, what are you doing?"

"Isn't it obvious?" she smirked up at him, unzipping his fly. "I'm relieving a little bit of tension." With that, she pulled him free and immediately sucked him deep into her mouth.

"Fuck!" he cried out, the wet heat of her lips and tongue surrounding him more than he was ready for. Shoving his hands into her hair, Edward could no longer hold back how badly he needed her. "God yes! You look so fucking good like that, baby, with your lips wrapped around my cock."

Hearing him talk like that only made her moan around him loudly, sending vibrations through his body as she bobbed her head up and down his shaft. After barely thirty seconds, Edward knew that he was done for.

"Oh god... baby, I'm gonna... oh _fuck_!" He clenched his jaw tightly and pounded his head into the door, feeling the warm rush of pleasure beginning to flood through him much too quickly. Finally he surrendered to it, gripping the back of her head and thrusting once, twice, until he felt himself explode with blinding pleasure.

Bella swallowed his release happily, thrilled that she could affect him so quickly. She knew it was a blow to a guy's ego when he finished so fast, but sometimes it made her feel sexy and powerful. Especially with oral... it let her know that she was just doing a good job.

It was Edward's turn to stand on wobbly legs as he tucked himself away and helped her back to her feet. "What was that for?" he panted.

"Well, you said that you were going to go at any second. I thought I'd just help that along so we could focus on each other again as soon as possible. Now, why don't you help me get out of this dress?" She turned her back to him, presenting him with a long zipper.

Knowing that more delicious secrets lay hidden underneath her dress, Edward happily pulled on the cool metal tab, watching as the teeth separated one by one. They were both holding their breath in anticipation, and the sound of the zipper opening was almost deafening in the room. When it was fully open they both let the dress drop to the floor and Bella stepped out of it, slowly turning around to face him.

And that's right about the same time that Edward thought he might swallow his own tongue.

"_Jesus_..." he gasped, unable to think of anything more coherent. She was stunning; a sinful vision in black satin with light blue trim.

"You like?" she smiled timidly.

"Turn around," he growled. "Slowly."

He watched with hungry eyes as she spun around for him, showing off her amazing curves that were accentuated even more by the things she was wearing. Her ass had never looked better, and it was framed perfectly by the garter straps, corset and stockings. He was amazed to feel himself already stirring in his boxers, and every new angle she presented him only made his fingers itch to touch her more.

When she finished her rotation, it was to find him staring at her almost slack-jawed. Without saying a word he stalked towards her, scooping her up into his arms and carrying her into the bedroom. When they crossed the threshold she gasped loudly, taking in everything that he had prepared.

Candles were everywhere, lighting the entire room with a golden glow. Rose petals had been scattered over the floor and the bed, and champagne was chilling on a small table in the corner.

It was the single most romantic thing anyone had ever done for her.

Sitting her down gently at the foot of the bed, Edward stepped back far enough to look down at her. He continued to stare, never moving his gaze from her own as he silently removed his suit piece by piece and draped it over the back of the nearest chair. First his tie, then he slowly unbuttoned his shirt; his own version of a striptease for her. It was difficult for Bella to maintain eye contact when more and more of his amazing body was being put on display, like the world's most delicious gift was unwrapping itself for her.

When he was finally down to nothing but his boxer briefs he dropped to his knees, positioning himself between her thighs. Reaching out, he slowly began unsnapping the garters from her stockings.

"Did you want me to take all this off?" she whispered. Something about how quiet he was being made her feel that it would be wrong to raise her voice any higher.

He only shook his head in response, reaching up to grab the thin straps of her tiny panties. When he began to tug on them, she leaned back on her elbows and lifted off the mattress, allowing him to pull them the rest of the way down. After tossing them over his shoulder, he quickly reattached the straps to her stockings.

Sliding his hands between and underneath her thighs until he was gripping her by the hips, he dragged her to the edge of the bed, spreading her legs wider around him as she moved closer. He stared down at her for a moment, her slick folds open before him, framed once again by her straps and stockings.

"_That_... is the sexiest fucking thing I've ever seen in my entire life." His voice was little more than a low growl. Without another word, he buried his face between her legs, lapping at her wet flesh greedily.

She barely had time to process what was happening, it was a full-on assault of her senses. The smell of him filled the room, the feeling of his tongue flicking and stroking her drove her to the brink of insanity, the grunts and snarls he was making echoed through her head like the most animalistic soundtrack she had ever heard. And the sight of him? Only one look down to see him lost in the pleasure of feasting on her was all it took to send her careening over the edge violently.

As she began to shake and scream her release, Edward pulled her into his mouth more roughly, grinding her against the flat of his tongue before sucking at her swollen bundle of nerves. When she had finally stopped shaking he pulled away and stood up, looking down at her ravenously.

She watched as he slowly removed his last remaining article of clothing, nearly weeping when she saw that he was fully aroused again, his glorious erection straining back towards his stomach.

"Fuck... I need you so badly," she whimpered, unable to pull her eyes away from his arousal. She could swear that she saw it twitch when she spoke.

"Like what you see?" He reached down and grabbed himself, pumping once, twice. She watched as the swollen tip turned a beautiful shade of violet with each movement of his hand.

"God... that's so fucking _hot_," she gasped. "Please come here. Please?"

"Scoot back," he commanded, his voice rough and gravelly.

Bella did as she was told, inching herself farther up the mattress to make room for him. When she lifted her feet to the bed for more leverage, she realized that she still had her high heels on. "Oh, I guess I should take these off, huh?"

"_No_!" he barked sharply. "You're not removing one fucking thing until I say so, got it?" She only nodded, unable to speak, too turned on to form any words.

Edward crawled onto the bed, sitting up on his knees between her legs. He grabbed her by the hips again and pulled her towards him, sliding her up over his bent knees until she was resting on his thighs. He looked down and saw that his cock was resting right above her glistening sex.

"I was wrong," he whispered. "_That_ is the sexiest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life." He grabbed his painfully hard erection and rubbed the tip against her slick flesh, watching as her juices coated him. He swirled it around her clit a few times, loving the sounds it elicited from her, before lining himself up with her entrance. "Isabella?" He had never called her by her full name before, and the tone of his voice make her open her eyes and look up at him.

"Yes?"

"I want you to know that I love you."

She smiled brightly, reaching up quickly to squeeze his free hand. "I love you, too."

"But I'm going to fuck you now... and it's not going to be gentle."

"Thank god! Don't worry, we can do gentle another time."

"My thoughts exactly." With that, he shifted his hips and pushed inside her, slowly at first, savoring the feel of her tight walls stretching to accommodate him. "Oh... _god_!" he cried out, clenching his eyes shut and throwing his head back. When he looked back down at her, he had such a pained expression on his face that she worried something was wrong. "I thought I remembered how good you felt... I was so fucking _wrong_."

He began thrusting harder then, grabbing onto her hips as he pounded himself inside her. Bella wanted to talk to him, to tell him that it felt better than any of her memories, too, but the angle he was grinding into her made words impossible. So she moaned. And she grunted. And it felt so fucking good that she would have sold her soul to Satan himself if he had offered to never let it end.

Edward was hypnotized, watching their bodies join, watching his now glistening shaft sliding in and out of her as her inner muscles gripped him tightly. He moved one hand over until he was touching where they were connected, circling his thumb over her clit to add to the friction.

"Oh _fuck_!" she screamed loudly. _That_ got the response he wanted. He felt her clamp down on him tightly, a warm rush of wetness coating him.

"That's it," he snarled through clenched teeth. "Come on me." He began pounding even harder, thrusting through her moans and cries. "Come all over my cock. It's been so fucking long since I've felt you."

When her shaking subsided he grabbed her by the arms and pulled her up, dragging her like a limp ragdoll until she was sitting up on his thighs. Once she felt her strength return, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders for balance, looking into his glowing eyes. He looked feral... and frantic... and sexy as hell.

Sliding one hand between their bodies, Edward pulled at her corset until her left breast was exposed, the tight pink nipple inviting him to feast. Growling low in his throat, he bent forward and captured it between his lips, sucking and biting as he continued to thrust so deep inside her that he wondered if he'd ever be free of her body, knowing deep in his soul that he never wanted to be.

After a few more violent thrusts, he knew that he wasn't going to make it any longer. It was all too much, the way she looked, the way she felt, even the scent of her wet pussy and the sweat on their bodies was driving him insane.

"Oh god," he moaned against her skin. "Do you think you can go again? I can't hold it any longer."

She nodded quickly, answering him through broken pants and sobs. "I'm so close... you feel so fucking good!"

He shifted his hips, grinding his pelvic bone into her more roughly, hoping it would provide the friction she needed but unable to focus any more than that with his own impending release.

"Oh god... that's it!" she screamed, her body clamping down on him tightly. "Oh fuck! Edward... god I love you!"

And he was gone. His orgasm shot through him like a rocket, sending his body up in flames in it's wake.

"Fuck, I love you!" he cried out, thrusting his hips frantically as he pumped his seed deep inside her. "_Mine_!" he growled possessively, one final thrust before he collapsed on his side, taking her with him.

They lay there together gasping for air, a tangled heap of sweaty limbs.

"That was... god, Edward, that was so..."

"Perfect."

"Perfect," she sighed, kissing him gently on the lips.

Their breathing began to even out as they rested, and right as Edward was about to drift off to a light sleep, Bella's hushed voice broke through the silence.

"You know, I _am_ yours. And you're mine. For as long as you'll have me."

He reached out for her without opening his eyes, pulling her tighter into his side. When he felt her there he kissed her forehead reassuringly and began to fall back asleep.

"Forever," he whispered.

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Say it with me... AWWWWW! I hope that was worth the wait for some of you. Don't worry, there's more coming next chapter, they just needed a breather. ;-p

I just wanted to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone who nominated and voted for LTIF in the Golden Lemon Awards. It won three out of the four it was nominated for this time, and that just makes me feel so proud and amazed. None of that would happen without you readers and I wanted you to know how much it means to me.


	29. Ooh La La

OK, here we go! This is the last chapter before the epilogue. It's not quite as long as the last few have been, but I believe in ending things when they feel right.

**Disclaimer: I don't own them, they own me. **

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_Switch me on_

_Turn me up_

_I want to touch you_

_You're just made for love_

"_Ooh La La" ~ Goldfrapp_

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When Bella began to stir over an hour later, it was to the faintest sound of scratching in the distance. It had a rhythmic quality to it, the repetitive _scrape_, _scrape_, _shuffle_, _shuffle _almost lulling her back to sleep. Once she finally committed to searching out the source of the noise, she opened her eyes slowly, allowing them to adjust to the bright glow of the still-burning candles.

"Don't move," a rough whisper called out. "I'm almost done."

Slowly turning her eyes towards the sexy voice that had haunted her for months, Bella could just make out the shape of Edward in her peripheral vision. The scratching noise continued, and she could see his arm moving over something he held in his lap. "What are you doing?"

"I'm sketching you."

"Oh," she replied awkwardly, not sure what else to say. "Can I turn my head? I can't see you." She didn't mind that he was sketching her, but she had never posed for anything in her life and she had no idea how still he needed her to be.

"Yes, I'm done with that part. Just don't move your legs."

When she turned her head more fully, it was to find that he was sitting in a chair to the side of the bed, his boxer briefs back in place and one long leg tucked underneath him. A sketchbook sat in his lap, and he kept looking back and forth between her and the opened page as his hand flew across the surface, applying the charcoal with measured strokes. At closer inspection, she could see that his fingertips were covered in black powder, and that he must have absently wiped his face a few times because there were random smudges on his cheek and brow. Also, the more he concentrated, the more the tip of his tongue would poke out of the corner of his mouth and flick at his lip.

He was fucking adorable.

As much as Bella would have loved to lay there for hours and watch him work without moving a muscle, before long she began to feel a familiar pressure building in her bladder. "Um... baby? Are you close to finishing?"

"Yeah, why?" he asked without looking up from the page as he shaded another area.

"I'm sorry, but I really have to pee." She could feel her face heat with embarrassment, but it was as subtle as she could manage at the moment; any longer and she was about to start squirming.

"Oh! Of course, I'm sorry," he apologized, looking up at her sheepishly. "I wasn't even thinking. I tend to lose track of things when I'm working. Yes, I have enough of what I need to finish here, go ahead. Matter of fact, I could use a bathroom break myself," he laughed, setting down his things.

Bella scurried into the large bathroom that was attached to the bedroom, while Edward ran into the smaller one off the front room. He was sure to hurry back, wanting to make sure that she didn't peek at the sketch before he was done. After Bella had finished and tidied herself up a bit, she returned to find him already hunched over the book, working again.

"So, is this something I'm going to have to get used to?" she smiled, draping herself across the bed sideways on her stomach so that she could watch him.

"What's that?" He didn't look up again, lost in his art.

"You know, waking up to find you sketching or painting at all hours of the night."

"Sadly, yes. I really do lose track of time when I'm at it, but it's not so bad when I don't start this late. I couldn't resist... you looked so deliciously wild and rumpled. I just had to get it down."

"Can I see?"

"Actually... yes," he said with a final flourish of his hand as he signed the sketch. "All done." He turned the book around and laid it down in front of her on the bed. "What do you think?"

"Oh wow!" she gasped. "Edward... it's beautiful! I can't believe you did all of this just now."

"Well, I didn't put a ton of detail in it, I just wanted to capture the moment. I could've spent hours on it, making every little thing perfect, but this feels more..."

"Intimate?"

"Exactly," he smiled. "So you like it?"

"I love it! It's very sensual," she blushed, looking at the sketch of a disheveled woman who had clearly just been ravished beyond comprehension. Her stockings were twisted and her corset was askew, leaving one perky breast exposed to the world. Her legs were bent so that nothing truly indecent was showing, and the messy pile of sheets around her helped to hide everything else. Because it had been drawn from the side quickly and she had been turned away, her face wasn't totally visible, but Bella could make out just enough of her profile to know it was her. "I can't believe that's me. I don't think I've ever looked so sexy."

Edward grabbed the sketchbook and placed it on the table behind him before kneeling down in front of her to look her in the eye. "Believe me, this pales in comparison to the real thing."

"So, is this the artist's equivalent of taking dirty pictures of his girlfriend?" Bella teased.

Now it was his turn to blush. "Kind of," he replied with a low chuckle. "I try to capture the beauty in anything I see... but with you, the beautiful and the erotic go hand in hand for me. Don't worry, this one is going in my private collection."

"You have a private collection?"

"Of course. I have a number of pieces I've done through the years that I just couldn't bare to part with or held too high of a sentimental value to me. They are all in storage right now, waiting for the day I finally settle down into one place and can put them up in my studio or something."

"Are there any of me in there?"

Edward's blush deepened. "There are two."

"Really?" she smiled. "So what made those two any different from the walls of paintings you showed me tonight? Those all seemed fairly personal to me."

"Every painting is personal to an artist, each one is like a child that you have nurtured and watched grow before your eyes. However, if you want to actually make any money doing what you love, you have to learn to detach yourself as soon as possible so that you can sell them. I have everything photographed and cataloged so that I can look at them whenever I want, but every once in a while one of them is just too hard to let go... or they were never intended for anyone else's eyes but mine to begin with."

Bella nodded with understanding. "And the two of me fall into the latter category."

"Yes. When I did all of those paintings, it was like I couldn't stop until every memory I had of you was documented in some way. And as many of the paintings showed you, a lot of my memories were sexual. I tried to keep them tasteful, but there were two of them that I couldn't handle showing anyone... and I didn't think you would be comfortable having anyone else see them, either."

"I appreciate that," she sighed in relief. "What were they of?"

"They involved a bit more nudity. Nothing shocking for the art world of course, but more than I thought was appropriate without your permission. I tried to record the perfection of your breasts in one of them, but I can see now that I didn't do them justice." He leered at her cleavage, reaching out a long, slender finger to trace the edge of brownish-pink areola that had begun to sneak out above the top of her corset.

"And the other one?"

"Hm?" He looked up at her as if breaking out of a trance. "The other one? Ah yes... well, let's just say that the other involved... butter."

"No! Please tell me you didn't show _that_!"

"No, Bella, nothing so graphic. But the symbolism was there, and I knew what it meant. I couldn't stand for someone else to buy that memory... and I wasn't _about_ to explain anything about it to people viewing it."

"Thank goodness for that!" she laughed. "So... will I ever get to see these paintings?"

"Perhaps... one day," he said absently, already lost in the valley between her breasts again. He continued stroking lazy patterns across her skin with his finger, watching as her flesh dipped and changed color under the pressure. When he finally dragged his gaze up to meet hers it was with great difficulty, and his eyes were dilated with lust. "It all depends."

It was hard to concentrate on everything he was saying between the touch of his fingers and the heat in his eyes, but she could tell from his tone that he was being playful. "On what?" she smirked.

He did nothing but look at her for a moment, allowing the tension to build between them. When he finally spoke again it was with a gruff voice. "On how fast you can get up on all fours and show me that delectable ass."

Without another word, Bella scrambled to her knees. Turning around abruptly and bending over to brace herself with her palms, she arched her back dramatically and flipped her hair back to look at him over her shoulder. "Fast enough for you?"

"_Fuck_," he growled, standing up quickly behind her. "Spread your knees," he commanded. Looking down at the sinful display in front of him, he had to swallow down the saliva that flooded his mouth. "I swear to Christ, Bella... you are the sexiest bitch I've ever fucking seen."

"I feel the same... about you," she panted, her breath becoming choppy with anticipation.

Edward stepped out of his boxer briefs, gripping his erection firmly before brushing the broad tip against her swollen sex. He watched as he swirled her moisture up and down the length of her silken folds, rubbing it more firmly over the hardened nub of her clitoris a few times before dragging it back up to her entrance.

"I can't get enough of you," he whimpered, gripping her hips tightly. He met her eyes briefly as she looked back at him, and his expression was almost panicked before his gaze was pulled back down to watch as he slowly pushed himself inside her. "I don't know what's wrong with me, but I just... I just _can't_."

"_Ungh_..." she groaned loudly at his intrusion. "Good! I don't want you to _ever_ get enough." With that, she flexed her hips and forced herself back onto him more roughly, thus ending any further conversation for a while that didn't consist of grunts and moans.

Edward continued to thrust inside her, eventually pulling her up flush against his chest so that he could grab her chin and kiss her hungrily. Yanking the front of her corset down, he gripped and squeezed Bella's breasts until she was sure that they would bruise and yet was unable to care at all. The only thing that mattered was the heavy drag and pull of him inside her.

Feeling herself getting closer to the edge of oblivion, she fell forward onto her hands again, needing the support. Looking back over her shoulder again until their eyes were locked, she felt any remaining hesitation or shyness disintegrate, knowing that he would always give her anything she needed and would never judge her for it. And she finally knew...

_This_ was true honesty.

Not strangers in a dirty apartment, hiding away from the real world, but two people who could know everything about each other, all of their flaws as well as their perfections, and love each other stronger for it.

Two people who didn't have to hide behind their anonymity to have the courage to ask for the things they truly desired.

"Edward," she panted, "grab my hair!"

He could only manage a loud snarl in response, fisting her hair tightly at the base of her skull and pulling until she had arched back as far as she could go. He pounded into her faster, causing her to bounce back and forth with the frantic rhythm he had established.

"God, _yes_!" she cried, her voice shaking from the force of his thrusts. "Baby... baby, I need you to smack my ass... oh _god_, please, baby."

"_Fuck_!" he grit through his teeth, the veins in his neck standing out sharply with his effort to hold on. Letting go of his death grip on her hip, he raised his other hand and brought it back down with a light slap on the swell of her ass.

"Harder!" she begged. "God baby, please harder! I'm not gonna break."

_She's going to fucking kill me. I'm going to overdose from the best night of sex in my life._

Raising his arm higher, he brought it down with a resounding _CRACK!_

"Yes! That's it! Oh god, don't stop... I'm so fucking close!"

Edward kept up the spanking in time with his thrusts, never stopping through her cries of pleasure until he felt her body begin to seize up, gripping him tightly in an attempt to milk his own release from him. Letting go of her hair, he quickly grabbed her hips again for leverage, slamming and pounding into her so forcefully that the entire bed shook underneath them until he threw his head back and cried out his blinding ecstasy.

After collapsing again in a tangled heap, they lay together for a few minutes catching their breath."Fuck, I love you so much," he exhaled loudly, rolling onto his back and pulling her with him. Brushing her sweaty hair out of her eyes, Edward raised up and kissed her sweetly, an action that seemed so tame compared to his passion of moments before.

"Likewise," Bella whispered, her voice now hoarse.

Stroking her shoulder lovingly, Edward felt his heart stop when he saw a dark mark on her skin. Sitting up quickly, he pulled her up to inspect her, terrified that he had bruised her badly with his roughness. Once she was facing him, he saw that she was absolutely _covered_ in the marks. They were all over her breasts, her shoulders and her arms, and when he made her turn around he could see the outline of his fingertips on her hips where he'd held her, as well as a few random ones across her ass.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry!" he gasped, feeling his stomach starting to turn in disgust.

"For what?" she asked, a puzzled look on her face.

"For... _this_! For hurting you! They must hurt terribly if they are already so dark."

"What are you talking about? Nothing hurts."

"Then how do you explain these _bruises_, Bella?"

"Edward, calm down!" She grabbed his hands and held them up in front of his eyes. When he finally stopped panicking and looked closely at them, he noticed that they were covered in black smudges. "You never washed the charcoal off your fingers. I'm _fine_."

"Oh god!" he laughed nervously, dropping his head to his hands in relief. "Jesus, that really scared me." He looked back up to see Bella brushing at a dark smudge on the slope of her breast. The more she tried, the more it smeared over her skin.

"Man, it looks like I was dusted for fingerprints," she giggled. "I don't think you could defend yourself against this evidence, Mr. Cullen."

"What? No way. You're dreaming." He looked down at her black smudged skin. "I barely touched you."

"Barely touched me? I look like a cheetah!"

"I think that's a gross over-exaggeration," he said with a deadpan expression. They both broke into a sleepy laughter, and when they stopped, Bella couldn't resist a loud yawn. "Alright, beautiful. Let's get you cleaned up. How about a soak in the tub?"

"That sounds amazing," she sighed, her heavy eyes slowly blinking.

"Okay, you stay here and rest, I'll be right back. I'm gonna draw us a bath."

Edward disappeared from the room, and before long Bella had drifted off into a light slumber. When she awoke a little while later, it was to the gentle tugging of Edward's fingers on the laces of her corset. She slowly realized that he had already removed her shoes and her stockings while she slept; he was lovingly undressing her like she was his most precious treasure.

Once her corset had been removed as well, he scooped her up into his arms and tucked her against his chest. "Come on, Sleeping Beauty," he whispered as he carried her into the large bathroom.

"Oh wow!" she gasped, holding her head up and looking around as they entered the room. "Edward, did you just do this? It's so beautiful!" He had moved and re-lit most of the candles, so that the bathroom had a bright golden glow, and he had moved the untouched bucket of champagne to the marble countertop.

"I thought it might be more relaxing than the harsh lights in here. I want you to be able to just soak and relax; it's been a very long day."

"Mm... with lots of physical exertion," she purred.

"Very true," he smirked, setting her down by the edge of the tub. "Now, go ahead and climb in."

Bella stepped carefully into the huge tub, sitting down with a loud sigh into the warm water, laughing as the thick layer of bubbles raised up and tickled her chin before settling down lower around her chest.

"God, this feels _amazing_," she moaned, laying her head back against the edge.

"I'm happy you like it, baby," Edward smiled, grabbing the bottle of champagne. A loud _POP_ could be heard as he sent the cork flying into the other room, quickly filling two crystal flutes with the bubbly drink. Sitting them on the large rim of the tub, he tapped lightly on Bella's shoulder. "Scoot forward for me."

Bella allowed him enough room to slip in behind her, sighing again as he pulled her back to rest against his chest. Handing her one of the glasses over her shoulder, he leaned down to kiss her neck.

"I think I've died and gone to heaven," she whispered.

"Well, you certainly feel heavenly," his gravelly voice vibrating her back a little as he spoke. "But I don't think it's heaven."

"Why's that?"

"Because if it _were_ heaven, at least _my_ form of heaven, I wouldn't need any time for my body to recoup. Feeling your silky wet skin slide against me like this is more like torture when I can't do anything about it."

"Well, you're the one who climbed in here to relax. How can you relax if it's torture?"

"It's the best kind of torture," he whispered against her wet shoulder. "And it _is_ relaxing. I just need to shift my focus a little... which is hard to do when you wiggle your bottom like that."

"Sorry," she blushed. "I was just trying to get more comfortable."

"No worries, I'm only teasing you. Now," he paused to grab his own glass and raise it out in front of her. "Let's have a toast, shall we?"

"A bathtub toast?"

"Of course! Bathtub toasts are the most sincere, didn't you know that?"

"No, can't say that I did. I'm starting to think that you are making a lot of this stuff up as you go along."

"Yes, and isn't it wonderful?" he chuckled. The vibrations his warm laughter caused against her back were instantly her new favorite sensation. "We can make it all up as we go along now. There are no rules or boundaries, just a clean slate."

"Or a blank canvas," she smiled.

"Even better!" He held his glass closer to hers. "To blank canvases."

"To blank canvases," Bella sighed.

The clink of their glasses echoed lightly through the room. After sipping quietly for a moment, Edward could see that her her eyes were starting to droop again. "Okay, gimme that." He took her glass before she could drop it, then sat up a little higher in the tub, reaching for a sponge. "Let's get you cleaned up before you pass out on me."

He dipped the sponge down into the bubble bath, bringing it up to squeeze the warm suds over Bella's shoulders. Scrubbing lightly at the charcoal smudges, he watched as her porcelain skin became clear again. At one point she accused him of paying extra special attention to the marks on her breasts, which he wholeheartedly denied, only to continue doing.

After everything was scrubbed properly multiple times, they both rinsed off and dried each other with enormous towels. Edward sent her to bed while he blew out the candles and drained the tub, and when he slipped in next to her she was already fast asleep.

Pulling her to him in the dark, he wrapped his arms around her possessively and kissed the top of her head. Looking back on the day they had shared, Edward wondered if it could have possibly been any more perfect.

Sleep claimed him moments later, and it was the most peaceful he'd been in years.

~/LTIF\~

When Bella woke the next morning, it was to the sound of something being wheeled into the room. She opened her eyes to see Edward looking a little groggy and disheveled, his already wild hair sticking up in different directions as he pushed a food cart towards the small table near the bed. He was wearing one of the hotel robes, and it had parted enough that she could make out a decent amount of bronze chest hair.

He looked positively delicious.

"Morning, sleepyhead," he smiled down at her when he saw that she was awake. "I hope you don't mind, but I ordered us some breakfast. I didn't really feel like going out just yet."

"Why would I mind?" she said around a yawn before sitting up to stretch her arms. "This way we can stay buried in our cozy sex cocoon until it's time to check out."

"I see we think alike," he laughed. "Did you want to eat in bed or sit here at the table?"

"Table's fine with me. I'm just gonna run to the bathroom first."

When Bella was finished she splashed some water on her face, trying to rid herself of the last remnants of sleep that made her eyelids feel puffy and heavy. Finding a matching robe hanging on the back of the door, she threw it on quickly and joined Edward at the small breakfast table he'd arranged.

"You better watch out," she teased. "I could get used to all of this spoiling." She lifted the cover off her plate to find a large pile of eggs, bacon, sausage, and toast. "Mm... yes, I could definitely get used to this."

"Good," he mumbled around a large forkful of food. When he'd swallowed, he reached over and grabbed her hand. "You need a little spoiling. I'm looking forward to spoiling you for the rest of my life."

Bella ate in silence for a while, the only sign that she had heard him showing in the pink hue of her cheeks. In reality, she couldn't stop her heart from pounding in her chest at his words. She knew how she felt about him, there hadn't been any doubt in her mind that she had found the one for her, but to hear her own thoughts of forever spoken back to her so easily... she thought her heart might explode right through her chest from the happiness.

The look she saw in his eyes when they finally met across the table mirrored her own. They didn't speak any further about it after that, switching the topic to less important things. It was simply understood that they would be speaking of it again in the future, because they both knew that their futures now belonged to each other.

The same way that she knew without asking that he wouldn't be returning to his family's home when they went back to Forks. His home was with her now.

When their breakfast was finished they decided that it would probably be a wonderful time saver to shower together. Edward told her to think of all the water they would be saving as well, and Bella was fully on board to do her part for the environment.

Until they began sudsing each other up under the hot spray.

For some reason, they lost track of the time they were supposed to be saving, and ended up wasting twice as much water than if they'd showered separately.

Edward pulled her closer to him, allowing his hands to slip and slide along her flesh as he washed her. He scrubbed her hair as she did the same to him, and when he asked her to lower her head so that he could apply the conditioner, she dropped to her knees in front of him.

"Go ahead," she purred, looking up at him from beneath her lashes. As soon as his hands began to spread the thick fluid through her hair, she took him deep into her mouth, bobbing up and down his shaft, moaning loudly around him. He did his best to concentrate on the task at hand, nearly falling over more than once as she made him weak in the knees, and before long he was pulling her back to her feet frantically.

Positioning her under the spray, he told her to tip her head back so that she could rinse her hair. The moment she closed her eyes and leaned back, his hot mouth was everywhere. He began loudly slurping water from her slippery breasts, sucking each nipple between his teeth and biting lightly before dropping down and throwing one of her legs over his shoulder, sinking his tongue between her folds to lap at her moisture.

It was Bella's turn to nearly fall over, reaching out to grab onto the tile for balance. Within what felt like seconds, she was teetering on the edge and wanting nothing more than to fall over the cliff together with him.

"Please," she begged, dropping her leg to the side and tugging on his shoulders.

"Do you want me?" he whispered in her ear once he had slid his way back up her body. As he spoke, he was grabbing onto her waist and moving her, pushing her back against the side wall of the shower.

"Yes," she groaned, loving the feeling of him pinning her there with his body. She could feel the heat of his erection rubbing against her, so very close to where she needed him most.

"Tell me," he said through choppy breaths as he bit her earlobe. "Tell me that you want me."

"I more than want you," she gasped, feeling him sliding against her more fully. "I need you. I need you more than oxygen. I need you inside of me... _now_."

With that, he gripped her hips and lifted her, slipping inside her body with one thrust.

They both cried out at the contact, words lost to them. He began to slowly move in and out of her, wrapping her legs around him tightly between his thrusts. Bella held him to her for dear life, loving the feel of his muscles rippling under her hands as he moved.

It felt like an eternity that they were lost in each other, and yet it didn't last long enough before they were both careening into the abyss. Bella felt herself shattering into a million pieces around him, and somewhere through her euphoria she heard him groan his release, pumping his seed deep inside her as he pistoned his hips rapidly.

They stood there for a moment, gasping for air, staring into each other's eyes as the now-cold water rained down around them.

"I need you, too," he panted. "Always." He kissed her roughly, sucking at the water dripping from her lips. "I never want to face a life without you again."

"Never again, Edward," she whispered against his lips. Reaching up to brush the soaking hair out of his eyes, she kissed him again tenderly before pulling back to look deeply into pools of jade framed by long, wet lashes. "We'll never be apart again."

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I am totally tearing up by winding this story down. I'm gonna miss Strangerward more than anything I've ever written! So, what did you guys think? (other than it was too short. I know, I know.)

Also, I just wanted to mention that I've volunteered to write for a really great fundraiser that my friends Aylah50 & Coldplaywhore have started, Fandom4saa. Check them out on twitter and I'm also posting a link on my author page. They are doing a great fundraiser for Sexual Assault Awareness. Tons of excellent writers have offered to write oneshots and outtakes, and all you have to do is show them that you have donated to one of many different sexual assault awareness sites, and they will send you an enormous master file with all of the stories in it. Isn't that amazing for as little as a five dollar contribution? I'm so proud of them for starting this up; let's all do our part!


	30. Epilogue: At Last

Here's an early treat for everyone! Just a word of warning to latecomers who haven't read chapter 29 yet, I just posted that one two days ago. Make sure you go back and read it first.

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_At last_

_My love has come along_

_My lonely days are over_

_And life is like a song_

_Oh yeah, yeah at last_

_The skies above are blue_

_My heart was wrapped up in clover_

_The night I looked at you_

_I found a dream that I could speak to_

_A dream that I can call my own_

_I found a thrill to press my cheek to_

_A thrill that I have never known_

_Oh yeah, yeah... you smile, you smile_

_Oh, and then the spell was cast_

_And here we are in Heaven_

_For you are mine... at last_

"_At Last" ~ Etta James_

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**18 Months Later**

"_... and as the familiar strains of their tango began, Eric pulled Becca onto the dance floor for their first dance together as man and wife. He knew then, as he twirled her around the room before the eyes of God and his entire family, that their heated embrace on that long night so many months ago hadn't been their last tango after all. It was only the first of many. The end._"

Rosalie Cullen looked up at the large crowd who had gathered in the bookstore in Seattle and smiled her most dazzling smile. "Thank you so much for coming to my reading of excerpts from my new release _Last Tango_ tonight, everyone. Before I get to the signing, did anyone have any questions?"

A large sea of hands flew up in the air, all fans wanting the chance to speak to their favorite romance author. However, in the back of the room, standing against a shelf of books with their arms crossed, were two people in a mild state of shock. Edward Cullen had a large scowl on his face, and his new wife Bella was shaking her head in disbelief, her mouth hanging wide open.

"Did you know?" he whispered loudly to her, trying to be heard over the many questions being asked.

"Of course not!" she gasped. "Don't you think I would have said something? I've been asking her for months if I could read her manuscript; she kept telling me it wasn't ready yet."

"Well, I think it's safe to say that's bullshit, since it had to have been at the publisher's for months. Looks like I'm going to have to do some ass kicking."

"Now, now," she patted his arm, trying to make him calm down. "It's not like it was _exactly_ the same. She just sort of took how we met... and a few other details here and there."

"A _few_?"

"Yes, only a few. They were an important few, but still... only a few. Besides, how did _you_ not know anything about this? She used _your_ tango painting as the cover!"

"She asked me after she bought it if she could use it for her next cover. I never told you because I thought it would be a nice surprise, but I had no idea about all of _this_!"

"Well, that makes two of us, then," Bella sighed.

"What a welcome home," he grumbled.

They had recently taken an extended honeymoon to New Zealand, renting out a flat in Wellington for a month. Edward had managed to complete a few new paintings, one in particular that was headed for his personal collection, and Bella had managed to do a lot of the sightseeing that she had always dreamed of with her husband by her side.

They had only returned to their new cottage home in Forks earlier that day, their bags barely unpacked, so that they could make it to Seattle in time for Rosalie's reading. They had still been running late due to jet lag, and not wanting to disrupt the reading, they had hidden themselves in the back until they had a chance to move closer.

"I'm sorry, but that's going to have to be the last question for now," Rose said to the many people with their hands still in the air. "I'm going to take a short break before the signing so that I can feed my little one before my boobs explode," she laughed, gesturing to Emmett who stood behind her next to Alice and Jasper, bouncing a tiny girl in his arms with huge black curls and even huger dimples.

"That's our cue," Edward said, watching as Rose took the baby from Emmett and disappeared into a private break room. He grabbed Bella's hand, weaving through the large crowd of women forming into a line at the side of the store.

Alice was the first to see them approaching. "Oh my god!" she yelled, running over to hug them both. "I was worried that you didn't make it back in time!"

"It was quite a rush to get here," Bella sighed. "We haven't even picked up the cats from my dad's place, yet."

"Well, at least you got here," Alice smiled. "I didn't even see you!"

"We were just hiding back there," Edward pointed towards the wall of books. His expression turned grim. "But we _did_ make it in time for most of the reading."

"Yeah... uh, about that," she blushed. "I _swear_ I didn't know until it had already been sent to the publisher."

"Don't you think she should have asked us, Alice?" Edward frowned. "Or at least _told_ us?"

"Dude, you're here five minutes and you're already whining?" Emmett interrupted, he and Jasper standing on their other side.

"_Whining_? Emmett, that's our _life_. Our private life. Don't you think we should have been warned? Don't you think she should have asked someone?"

"She _did_ ask someone," he answered, his tone becoming serious. "She asked _me_."

"What do you mean?" Edward was thrown off by Emmett's protective stance.

"She told me a long time ago that she thought how you two met was the stuff of romantic legends. She wanted so badly to use that as a beginning to one of her stories, but she was afraid that if she asked you that you would shoot it down before even hearing her out. Now, I know that you are shocked right now, but if you take the time to read it over, you will see that there are really not that many similarities. I told her that if she felt like she had to write it, then to go ahead and do it and stop worrying what you might think." He sighed, scratching his hands through his short hair in a frustrated gesture that had become very familiar to Bella. "It's some of the best writing she's ever done, and you two were her inspiration. Be proud of that."

"But... but what about..." Edward was floundering, the wind taken out of his sails.

"Dude, have you even opened the book yet?"

"Well... no. We just got here."

"Here," he huffed, grabbing a copy off the large display next to him and thrusting it at Edward's chest. "Just do me a favor and look in the damn thing before you jump her ass, okay? Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go check on my wife and daughter. Nice to see you again, Bella." He smiled and nodded at her curtly before stomping off to the break room.

"Wow, I don't think I've ever seen him so angry," Bella whispered.

"He's not angry," Edward explained, opening up the book. "He's just standing up for her. Believe me, _I've_ seen him angry." He looked down at the opening page, his brow rising in surprise. "Well... shit."

"What?" Bella scooted closer, looking at the page over his shoulder.

_To Bella, the best nurse and friend a girl could ask for. _

_And to Edward, the very best brother. _

"Oh my god!" she gasped, tears instantly springing to her eyes.

Edward sighed next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. "Alright, I'm an asshole. Let's go find her."

They walked towards the break room, only to have Rose and Emmett make their way back out. As soon as she saw them coming towards her, a worried look crept over her face and her cheeks flamed bright red.

"Here, Em, would you take her for a sec?" she whispered, handing over the baby. Taking a deep breath to steel her nerves, she turned to face the two people she had been dreading talking to. "Okay, guys. Let's have it. How bad do you hate me right now?"

Bella couldn't even speak yet, she simply grabbed her and gave her the fiercest hug imaginable. "I could never hate you!" she finally sobbed.

Rose looked over Bella's shoulder in question at Edward and he merely shrugged. "She just read your dedication."

"Ah. So you're not mad?" she asked, still speaking over the sobbing Bella.

"I was pissed, I'll admit it. But after thinking about it and reading what you wrote, I'm also very flattered. Thank you." He looked behind Rosalie to where Emmett was standing, a bright smile on his face once again.

"Wow, really?" she said in disbelief.

"Really."

"God, _I_ might just cry," she sighed before redirecting her attention to Bella. "Okay, little miss weepy, tell me about New Zealand! Was it great? Did you get a lot of pictures? Did you meet Jemaine Clement?"

Bella laughed before answering, "Let me see... yes... yes... and I _wish_! But enough about us for now, we have years to bore you with slides of our honeymoon. Give me that baby!" She ran to Emmett, eagerly pulling the little one from his arms. "Oh, little Emilie, Aunt Bella missed you so much!" She began showering her little cheeks with kisses, smiling when the baby chortled loudly.

"Looks like she missed you, too," Rose smiled. They both watched as Emilie looked between them and suddenly held her hands out, fussing until Edward moved closer. "Oh jeez, she still has her Uncle Edward crush." Rose rolled her eyes, watching as Edward scooped her up. "And here I'd hoped that a month away from you would do the trick."

"Never!" he laughed. "Not my little princess. My goodness you've gotten big!"

"So how have you been feeling?" Bella asked Rose, already in nurse mode again.

"Oh, stop worrying about me, I'm fine. Emilie is almost eight months old now, and I'm clearly in the pink."

When Rosalie had been seven months into her pregnancy she had begun lightly spotting again, and Dr. Wylde had put her on immediate bed rest until her due date. Knowing that she and Bella were practically family, Victoria arranged for Bella to drop her hours down to part time so that Rosalie could hire her as her own private nurse, and between her and Esme they had her covered around the clock at the house in Forks. Bella would check her blood pressure and her vitals, and basically keep her from wanting to pull her hair out from boredom.

It had been a difficult delivery, leading to a painful Cesarian that took much longer to heal, and Bella had stayed on even longer to help her take care of baby Emilie. When it came time for her to go back to work and for Rose to return to Seattle, they had both been moved to tears.

"How soon are you guys all coming back to Forks?" Bella asked, always eager to spend time with the happy family.

"Soon, actually. Emilie has an appointment with James in two weeks. I thought we'd make a trip out of it and stay a few days."

"Excellent!"

"Now, enough about me. Look at your husband wooing my daughter." They watched as Edward bounced her playfully, blowing raspberries on her cheeks and tickling her sides. "Good lord, she's gonna be a sucker for the bad boys, isn't she?"

"Like mother, like daughter," Bella laughed.

"Damn. Got me there."

"What are you two talking about over here?" Edward asked, moving closer to hear them better, the baby nestled into his side.

"Oh nothing," Rose smirked, knowing just how to get under his skin. "I was just appreciating how good you look holding a baby. Doesn't he, Bella? He's such a natural."

"Definitely," she giggled.

He blanched, looking back and forth between them. "Dammit Rose, the ink on our marriage license is barely dry. Don't go filling her head with that stuff yet."

"I don't know... Emilie is going to need a cousin or two to play with before long."

"Then why don't you go throw your baby vibes over there," he huffed, pointing towards where Alice and Jasper stood talking quietly.

"Oh, don't worry, I will. Why do you think I said a cousin _or two_?" At Edward's obvious squirming, she couldn't hold back her laughter any more. "Oh for god's sake, stop getting your panties in a twist! I'm only fucking with you."

"Thank god," he sighed, chuckling nervously. He made his way next to Bella, pulling her to his side possessively. They both lost track of the conversation after that, becoming engrossed with keeping baby Emilie entertained.

"Although..." Rosalie paused, whispering to herself as she watched the two of them play with her daughter. "I _am_ getting some wonderful ideas for a sequel."

**THE END**

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So... that's a short and sweet little glimpse into the future of our two lovebirds. *sobs* I don't want him to go! Waaahhhhh!

Alright, it is with teary eyes that I mark this story complete. I just wanted to thank all of you lovely readers for all of the amazing and supportive reviews over the last year. This story grew into much more than I ever intended, and I honestly couldn't have done it without your feedback.

Before you start asking, NO, there are no plans for a sequel at this time. Now, that doesn't mean that an outtake or two won't pop up in the future. You may want to make sure that you have me on author alert here, because I don't know if I would attach them here or post them separately. Anyway, thank you all once again. I hope you go back and read this from the beginning and it's even better the second time around!


	31. Outtake: Portrait of a Sex Goddess

This was an outtake that I donated to the Fandom4SAA fundraiser. I hope you enjoy!

Summary: It's four years later, and Edward Cullen's favorite pastime is still painting naughty portraits of his wife Bella for his 'private collection.' But how does the happy couple find time for each other with a toddler running around and another one on the way?

Disclaimer: Anything related to Twilight is the property of Stephenie Meyer. I am only borrowing her characters.

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Portrait of a Sex Goddess:

A Last Tango in Forks Future-shot

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..

...

"Masen!"

A loud yowling could be heard down the hall, followed by the clumsy thuds of a toddler running across the floorboards.

"Masen Charles Cullen! Get back here!"

Bella couldn't help smiling to herself in her bedroom mirror as she applied a light coating of lipstick, Edward's voice bellowing from the front room. She was nearly knocked over by a fuzzy orange streak two seconds later as Wembley shot under the bed, which had become his new favorite hiding place, followed closely by her two year old son.

Her two year old son who was currently wearing nothing more than a Transformers t-shirt and one sock.

"Wembee!" he yelled, getting down on his hands and knees to peer under the bed. "Wembee, come outta there!"

"What seems to be the problem there, bud?" Bella asked, trying very hard not to laugh as she turned to face his bare bottom sticking up in the air.

"Mommy, Wembee won't play wif me!" his muffled voice carried back to her.

"Well, what do you expect, sweetie? We've told you and told you that the cats don't like to be played with so roughly. If you keep scaring them they might get mad and bite you. I don't want that to happen, do you?"

He turned around and looked up at her with huge jade eyes. "No, Mommy."

"Good," she smiled, holding out her hand to pull him up until he was standing in front of her. "Because I've already had their claws taken out. I can't take their teeth out, too." She heard louder footsteps approaching behind her and turned to find Edward standing in the doorway holding a pair of pull-ups, jeans, and the other sock, a familiarly frazzled expression on his face. "Where's Boober?" she asked knowingly.

"Hiding on top of the fridge," he grumbled, coming forward to sit on the edge of the bed. "I can't get him to come down."

"Don't worry," she chuckled, watching as Edward lifted their son onto the bed and began fighting his kicking legs to finish getting him dressed. "He'll come down when we leave."

"Masen, would you stop fussing, please?" he scolded. "We told Grandma that we would have you there by now. Don't you want to go play?"

"Is Emmy there?" he asked hopefully, always enjoying when his cousin Emilie came to stay.

"No, sweetie," Edward frowned. "I told you earlier; Emmy is with Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rose on her book tour. They won't be visiting until next month."

"Then I don't wanna go!" he yelled, kicking his newly donned sock off his toes before Edward could pull it over his foot. Bella grabbed it and handed it back to Edward, asking with her eyes if he needed her help to finish getting him dressed. He shook his head quickly before turning his attention back to Masen.

"What are you talking about? You love Grandma Esme. She's been looking forward to this all week."

"I wanna go fishing with Bampa Charlie!" Masen cried, gearing up to start a Grade-A hissy fit.

Edward took a deep breath and sighed, deciding that it would be pointless to remind his son that he had whined and cried out of sheer boredom the only time Charlie had taken him out fishing last month. Masen had recently decided that no matter what he was supposed to be doing, it was nowhere near as fun as anything else he could think of.

"Bampa Charlie is working today," Bella chimed in over her shoulder as she finished brushing out her hair in the mirror. "We're gonna see him on Sunday."

"No, _now_!" he whined, kicking his leg again and nearly hitting Edward square in the jaw as he pulled the tiny jeans into place.

Bella paused for a moment, as if she was considering it. "Well, I can call him if you want... but Grandma might be sad. She'll have to throw _all_ those cookies away."

"Cookies?" his tiny voice suddenly very serious.

"Yeah. She said you are such a good helper in the kitchen; she couldn't wait to make tons and tons of cookies today. But now they'll have to go in the garbage because she won't have her helper."

"I help?" His wide eyes looked back and forth between his parents.

"Of course, silly!" Edward laughed, leaning over to blow a raspberry on Masen's stomach. "You help her _eat_ them."

After letting out a loud peal of giggles, Masen sat up and looked at him. He nodded his head once decisively before declaring, "You're right, Daddy. Gramma needs me."

"She certainly does. I'm proud of you for making the right decision, son." It took every ounce of strength Edward had to keep from laughing at his expression.

"Alright, you two," Bella called out, grabbing a duffel bag full of Masen's clothes and toys that was sitting in a bedside chair. "Let's get a move on."

Edward jumped up and reached for the bag. "Let me carry that, baby."

"No, don't be silly; this is nothing. If you wanna grab something, grab him." She pointed at their son, who had begun trying to do somersaults on the mattress, causing his thick brown hair to stand up in tufts all over his head.

"C'mon, mister, you heard the lady." Edward grabbed him around his middle, lifting him up sideways and carrying him like a football down the hall, Bella following closely behind them.

When they had made their noisy way to the car, Masen watched his mother from his car seat as she awkwardly tried to fasten her seatbelt. "Mommy, why does your tummy look like a basketball?"

"Because there's a little baby sleeping in there, remember?" She looked back between the seats and smiled at him.

His face brightened with recognition. "Oh yeah! Daddy said he put it in there."

"Oh he _did_, did he?" She shot a sideways glance at Edward, who simply shrugged before returning his attention to the road.

"Yeah, he said that he made a teeny tiny baby seed, and he needed to plant it somewhere for it to grow bigger, so he buried it in your tummy."

"Well, that's... disturbingly accurate," Bella smiled uncomfortably.

"When will it wake up?"

"A little less than two months from now."

"On my _birthday_?" Masen's eyes got wide and he sat up excitedly. He had become obsessed with his birthday ever since he had been to his cousin Logan's first birthday party the month before in Seattle. Alice had thrown a ridiculously large event for her son that had been nowhere close to age-appropriate, and Masen had become convinced that _everyone's_ birthday meant cowboys and jugglers and balloon animals. He also still didn't understand why his own birthday didn't happen every week, and it had been a dark, dark day in the Cullen house when Edward finally had to sit him down with a calendar and make him count the months until October.

He still didn't quite grasp the concept of months, but he definitely understood _not for a long time_. Of course, that only meant that he reduced asking about his birthday to every _other_ week.

"No, sweetie. It will probably be the middle of August. But that's good, because that gives the baby time to go shopping for your birthday present."

"I'm gonna be _this_ many!" Masen suddenly yelled out, holding up three pudgy little fingers, the topic of newborn siblings quickly forgotten.

"That's right, buddy," Edward chuckled, glancing at him in the rearview mirror. As he turned off the highway onto the long drive that led to his family's house, he was suddenly struck with a familiar ache in his chest and a lump in his throat. It happened more and more lately, usually when he was playing with Masen or watching him do little mundane things with Bella, when he would be absolutely blindsided with emotion. He would almost reach a feeling of panic, as if his mind just couldn't wrap itself around the fact that he was sublimely happy for the first time in his life.

Edward had thought that love and happiness had never been in the cards for him, that he was destined to be an outsider... an observer. If anyone had ever told him six years ago that he would be remarried with one child and another on the way, he would have laughed in their face; he didn't believe in happy endings. But now, looking between his wife and son and the growing lump in her belly, he had a _reason_ to believe... and sometimes it simply scared the shit out of him. They were his entire world, and he often found himself getting choked up at the thought of losing them. He knew without a doubt that he could never exist without them now; even the slightest memory of his dark days of the past would make him shudder and cling to his wife in the night.

Noticing the tight set of his jaw, Bella reached over and grabbed his hand, smiling sweetly when he looked at her. She knew. Somehow, Bella always knew when he was feeling overwhelmed. With a slight squeeze of his fingers and the stroke of her thumb across his knuckles, she was able to tell him with no words _exactly_ what he needed to hear.

_We love you, too. We'll __**always**__ love you... and we aren't going anywhere._

And that was all it took. He felt the heaviness lift from his chest, replaced by a feeling of peace. Pulling her hand up to his mouth, he leaned over and quickly kissed the back of her fingers in a silent thank you. The heat that was generated in the long look they shared had Edward stepping on the accelerator, desperate to get on with their day.

Once they pulled into the drive to find Esme waiting at the front door, they made quick work of dropping off Masen for the day. They begged her not to let him eat _all_ the cookies again and promised to be back before his bed time to pick him up.

"Don't rush," his mother smiled. "He can always lie down in the spare room." Edward couldn't resist rolling his eyes; the "spare room" Esme was talking about was an enormous suite that she had remodeled last year, knocking down a wall and making two rooms into one gigantic play land for her three grandchildren. They had all tried to explain to her that such a large room wasn't necessary since they were rarely all together at the same time except for the holidays, but her mind had been made up.

"Thanks again, Mom," he smiled, leaning down to give her a quick peck on the cheek.

"Nothing to thank me for, darling. I love having him here." They stood on the top step and waved goodbye to Edward and Bella as they drove away, each of them waving out their car windows and watching in the mirrors as they became two little dots in the background.

When they were officially on their own, Edward smirked at Bella in the way that he knew made her week in the knees. "You're mine now, Swan. For at least the next eight hours, you're all mine. Are you sure you're up to the challenge?"

Bella took a deep breath to settle the butterflies in her stomach before she arched an eyebrow at him. "It's Mrs. _Cullen_, thank you very much, and I believe I can handle anything you give me," she teased playfully.

"Ooh, you better watch that sassy tone, young lady, or else I'll give you something to _handle_ right now."

She sighed in mock boredom. "Just keep your lame comments to yourself and drive the car. I don't know how I let you talk me into this again."

"I don't exactly remember twisting your arm today, or any time before this for that matter. I think you like it. Matter of fact, I think it turns you on... almost as much as it turns _me_ on."

Bella smiled wickedly and leaned over the console, biting his earlobe quickly. "You _know_ it turns me on."

"Good," he said abruptly, stomping on the gas and steering the car in a direction so familiar he could drive it with his eyes closed. He glanced down at her swollen belly and felt the tightness beginning in his chest again. "Because I really need this today."

Her soft voice whispered against his cheek, the gentle breath fanning over his skin. "Me too."

An hour later, Bella was sprawled out naked along a chaise lounge in a barely furnished apartment. It was _their_ old apartment, where they had lived together before getting married and buying their current home. Edward had kept it as an art studio through the years, which was, incidentally, what he had originally rented it for.

Sexy music filled the room, and the only words spoken were Edward's gruff commands. "Yeah baby... just like that. Arch your back for me a little... fuck _yes_, that's hot."

Bella was getting into it herself, her breath coming in shorter pants with each new instruction he gave her. She found it incredibly erotic when he was so carried away and intense, however she also found it terribly frustrating.

He hadn't laid one finger on her yet.

"Stay right there; I'm just going to adjust the lighting a bit more." She held her position and watched him as he walked away from his easel to a lamp that was positioned at the foot of the chaise. While he tilted and shifted the shade to cast just the right angle of lighting on her skin, Bella couldn't resist drinking him in with her eyes.

He had discarded his shirt quickly after beginning, not wanting any more paint stains than necessary and enjoying the freedom of movement it gave him. His jeans were slung low on his hips, so low that she could see he had gone without underwear. Whether it had been laziness on his part or a conscious decision to slowly drive her insane with lust was yet to be seen; however, if she had to guess, she would always err on the side of lust when Edward was concerned.

As her eyes slowly traveled back up his beautiful torso, stopping briefly on the flat copper nipples and light dusting of sandy hair that made her mouth water, her gaze finally met his... and he threw her another smirk and a wink.

Oh yes... it was all intentional. He knew exactly what he was doing to her.

Picking up his brush again, Edward did his best to ignore his growing arousal and focus on Bella's. He didn't simply want to pant her nude; he had done that plenty of times. He had also painted her pregnant many times before with Masen; his _Mother & Child_ series had sold out in record time. But those had all been more heartfelt; they were filled with his excitement at becoming a father and how beautiful and sacred he thought her pregnancy was.

Her clothes had stayed on for those.

_This_ painting, however... this was for him. Through the years, he periodically did pieces for his private collection, all starring Bella, all meant for their eyes only. Many of them were painted from his vivid memories, but on a few special occasions she had sat for him. This was just such an occasion, and Edward had big plans for this piece.

Now, rather than focusing on the ethereal beauty of her pregnancy, he wanted to tap into the primal, wanton sexiness of it. He had made no secret of the fact that he found her somehow even _more_ irresistible when she was carrying his child, and it had only gotten worse the second time around. With Masen, they had both been so nervous at first, not wanting to cause any harm, that he was almost afraid to touch her. That had lasted until her hormones kicked into overdrive, leaving them both exhausted almost every night until right up through her ninth month. When they had discovered Bella was pregnant for the second time, none of the uneasiness was there. They had already been through it and knew what to expect, so this time had been a wild ride from the beginning.

Edward knew exactly what he was doing when he had denied her any sex when they first arrived that morning, stating that he needed to get straight to work and perhaps they might find time later. He also knew that walking around in nothing but his jeans was a quick way to stoke the fires in his wife; she had told him repeatedly how much she went crazy for his bare chest. He wanted to get her good and worked up, hoping to capture the erotic vision that haunted him every night in his bed: his gorgeous wife, full with his child, a look of pure need in her eyes. That was the epitome of sexiness to him. Bella became lust personified... his own personal sex goddess.

He swept his brush across the canvas, filling in the larger areas of color before starting in on the finer details. The more vigorously he worked, the more entranced he became. After another hour, his body was covered in various streaks of color. There were even patches in his hair from whenever he would absentmindedly shove his fingers through his wild locks.

He kept throwing out commands and encouraging words, hoping to make her comfortable, but also hoping to coax out her darker side. When he began to notice her breathing becoming choppy, he knew he was close to finding what he wanted.

"_Edward_," she whined, "when will we take a break?"

"You just went to the bathroom less than five minutes ago."

"Not that kind of a break. When will _we_ take a break?" She jutted her lower lip out in an exaggerated pout, making it very hard for him to concentrate. She was testing his willpower, every ounce of him wanting to go to her. He was sorely tempted to stop for a half hour and relieve some tension, but he needed to capture her hunger, _not_ her gloating satisfaction.

"Soon, baby. I promise. I have enough done that I'll be able to finish most of this on my own later, but there are a few more details that I really need to get while you're here like this. Fuck... you look incredible."

"Incredible... or _edible_?" she teased, licking her lips suggestively.

"Both," he gritted through his teeth, her words making him instantly harder with the visions they evoked of him kneeling before her and feasting on her body. He shook his head quickly, trying to clear it so that he could focus. "Now stop talking. I'm doing your mouth."

"Mm... I know another way you could do my mouth," she purred.

"Dammit, Bella!" he scolded, reaching down to adjust his now painful erection. Her eyes followed his hand to the prominent bulge she could see across the room and her throat went dry. She whimpered loudly, and the sound made him squeeze himself more firmly through his jeans. In that moment, he finally saw the changes in her appearance he had been waiting for. He watched as her nipples puckered up tightly, rising and falling with her quickening breaths. When he looked into her eyes, he saw that they were nearly black, completely dilated with lust.

"Oh god... don't fucking move," he growled, dipping his brush quickly back on the palette to collect more black paint, wanting to catch her eyes in that exact state of arousal.

"You're doing my eyes now, aren't you?" She could tell by the way he barely broke eye contact, only casting quick glances at the canvas as his brush moved over it.

He didn't speak. He merely grunted with a slight nod to indicate she was correct. He had become completely consumed by her... and Bella was beginning to understand the feeling. Keeping her eyes locked with his, she slowly moved one of her hands from its designated position, sliding it over one of her swollen breasts carefully to softly pinch her nipple. They had become quite tender recently, almost bordering on painful, but she found that it was a good kind of pain if she didn't linger too long.

She slid her hand even farther down, over her rounded stomach and her little protruding belly button, until she was lightly cupping her dripping sex. Edward's eyes had never left hers, but she knew he could tell what she was doing when a soft groan passed his lips.

"_Fuck_!" Bella gasped as she slipped two fingers between her slick folds. "I'm so wet for you!" It came out in a loud moan that might have embarrassed her any other time, but she didn't care how desperate she sounded. She _was_ desperate, desperate for her husband, who had yet to look away from either her eyes or the canvas. She could, however, see distinct beads of sweat breaking out on Edward's forehead as he worked, so she knew he was starting to crack.

From that point on, it became a race to see who would finish first. Bella started touching herself in earnest, moaning and writhing, using every tool in her arsenal to break him down and make him touch her. Edward, on the other hand, started painting frantically, trying to capture the most important details of the moment before they were lost forever. It was becoming increasingly difficult to resist her efforts, though, and he knew damn well that if she climaxed before he was finished, he would _never_ finish.

He tried so hard, locking his eyes with hers and doing everything in his power to block out what she was doing, but it was impossible. He could see her hand moving in his peripheral vision, he could hear her panting moans, and before long he could hear the wet sucking noises as her fingers moved inside her body at an increasing speed. She never looked away from him, though, and her eyes had become liquid fire. It was the most intense look they had ever shared, and Edward didn't know if he wanted to be thankful for it or cry out in agony.

Before long, he almost couldn't hear her anymore from the roaring of blood in his ears. It was pounding to the same rhythm of the pulsing in his dick, which hurt so badly that he whimpered. When he saw her body beginning to tremble, he didn't know if he would make it. He was so fucking close to finishing, but apparently so was she. With one hand still rapidly painting, he used his other to pop open the buttons on his jeans without even looking, gripping himself roughly to relieve some of the pressure.

Bella tried to maintain their eye contact, but she couldn't stop herself from sneaking glances at his fist working his engorged flesh. It was hypnotic, watching the way his broad tip turned almost purple on the upstroke, and the grunts and growls coming from him were driving her to the brink of insanity.

It was suddenly too much for her. She needed him too badly, and seeing him like that was all it took to hurtle her over the edge. She began trembling violently, throwing her head back and closing her eyes to the ecstasy of it as a litany of curses and moaning broke from her lips. Somewhere in the distance she could hear a loud growl tear through the room, followed by thunderous footsteps.

When she opened her eyes only seconds later, he was towering over her at her side. The ravenous look on his face as he stared down at her almost scared her, and maybe it should have, but it only turned her on more; he was a man possessed. She noticed that he had kicked his jeans off completely, and his cock stood straight up, almost curving back towards his stomach.

With a deep groan, Bella reached out and grabbed his hips, pulling him closer to her mouth. She looked up at him one last time before gripping his erection firmly by the base and swirling her tongue around the tip, sliding her lips over him quickly and sucking him to the back of her throat. Edward snarled violently, far past words, and thrust his hips forward, pulling back slowly at first only to thrust them back in faster the next time. Bella moaned around him as he moved in her mouth, and Edward liked the feeling of it so much that he reached down and took up where her hand had left off, slipping inside her silken folds to circle her clitoris with two fingers. She moaned again loudly, her body shaking around him, and it was too much. He didn't want to finish in her mouth, and if he didn't stop, that was exactly what was going to happen.

Moving quickly, he knelt at the foot of the chaise, spreading her thighs roughly before burying his face between them. Edward lapped at her juices, using broad strokes with the flat of his tongue, knowing just how she liked it when they were being fast and dirty. Her cries rang out through the room, sounding like heaven to his ears, and in less than a minute he felt her fingers gripping his hair painfully, holding him in place as she ground herself against his hungry mouth.

Knowing that she was seconds away from another powerful orgasm, he leaned back on his knees, quickly positioning himself at her entrance. He knew that he wasn't going to last very long, he was just too fucking excited, but this way he might still be able to feel her coming around him when he was inside her. There was absolutely nothing in the world that felt as good as Bella's pussy when she clamped down on him in climax, milking him dry.

He paused for a moment, looking down at his cock against her wet flesh. Gripping himself, he rubbed the swollen tip back and forth against her clit a few times, causing her hips to lift, seeking out more pressure. When their eyes met this time over her outstretched body, her gaze was full of such heat that he was afraid he might actually come before ever getting to be inside her.

"Do you want this?" he grunted, holding himself back with every ounce of his energy. It was her turn to be out of words, driven half insane with need; the only thing she could do was nod vigorously. Edward let himself go long enough to grab her ankles and lift them up to rest on his shoulders before guiding his cock to her entrance once again, sliding all the way to the hilt in one thrust.

"_Fuck_!" he snarled through clenched teeth, holding still for a moment, willing his body to calm down.

"Oh _god_, Edward... don't stop now!" Bella cried out in frustration.

"I'm not stopping," he panted. "I'm just... getting my bearings here."

"Your _bearings_? Let me help you out. You're balls deep inside me. Now get moving!"

"Yes, dear," he smirked, trying not to laugh. Bella didn't seem to suffer too many mood swings, except whenever she was denied sex. There had been numerous occasions lately when he had needed to fast track Masen's bedtime stories and resort to bribery with happy meals to get him to go to sleep on time to keep her from getting grouchy on him.

Luckily her little diversion had pulled him back from the edge and he was ready to continue. He held onto her shins and watched as he slowly moved inside her. He could see her juices coating him, making his cock glisten as he slid in and out of her welcoming heat. The feeling was indescribably amazing, but watching as it happened only intensified it that much more.

"So... fucking... beautiful," he panted, thrusting his hips faster.

Bella was thinking the exact same thing, but she was staring up at her glorious husband. He looked powerful, the muscles shifting under his skin as he flexed his hips, pounding into her more roughly. His masculine beauty never failed to take her breath away, and he was never more divine than when he was inside her.

"Touch yourself for me, baby," he begged. "I'm so close. I want to watch you." She complied immediately, slipping her fingers between her folds to rub at her tightened bundle of nerves.

"Oh _god_," she moaned, already feeling the tremors beginning in her thighs. He changed his angle slightly, grinding into her as he moved. "Oh Edward... _yes_!" Her inner walls began to grip him tightly, and they both became unglued.

"_Fuck_!" he cried out, throwing his head back as he rode out his release, exploding violently inside her with thick spurts of fluid. As they were both coming down from their high, Edward slowly set her legs down and slid in behind her on the chaise, leaning against the back rest and pulling her back to rest against his chest.

"That was..."

"_Amazing_," Bella finished.

"Exactly," he sighed, kissing the top of her head tenderly. He slid his hand around her waist, holding her baby bump possessively. "God, I love you. I just don't know what I would do without you."

Bella covered his hand with her own, their fingers entwined together over their unborn child. "You'll never have to find out."

At that moment, the baby chose to give a strong kick right underneath their hands. "Well," Edward laughed, "it looks as if someone agrees with you."

"I think so. Unless someone is feeling left out."

Edward slid out from behind her quickly, running across the room to the small work table set up beside his easel. When he grabbed his palette and brush, Bella groaned.

"You're not already painting again, are you? Can't we have even five minutes to hold each other?"

"No, I'm not." He came forward again, kneeling down in front of her.

"Then what are you doing with that?"

"Well, just in case you're right, and someone _is_ feeling left out, I want to take care of that right now." He dragged his brush through the small pile of rosy pink that he had mixed to match the shade of her lips and brought it to her stomach, allowing the bristles to glide smoothly over the rounded flesh. "There!" he smiled, setting down his palette and leaning back to appreciate his handiwork.

Bella looked down to see his elegant script stretched across her skin. It simply read _Elizabeth._

Edward leaned over her belly and kissed it softly. "I can't wait to meet you, baby girl." He laid his head down and looked up at his wife. "Do you think she'll like me?"

"Are you kidding me?" Bella laughed, running her fingers through his hair. "Women of all ages fall at your feet. What makes you think she will be any different?"

"Because I'm already falling at _her_ feet and she isn't even born yet. How will she ever respect me when I'm wrapped around her finger?"

"Maybe you should ask Carlisle how he handled it with Alice. Or my dad. I'm pretty sure they will all tell you they felt the same way."

Edward thought to himself quietly while Bella continued to stroke his hair. After a few minutes he sighed loudly. "Thank you for today, baby"

"Which one of us are you talking to?"

"Both of you." He kissed her stomach again before standing up and holding out his hand to her. "Now let's get you cleaned up so we can go pick up our son."

"Alright, but only if you join me in the shower... and promise to scrub my back."

"Why Mrs. Cullen... are you trying to seduce me?"

Bella looked at him with a wicked smile. "Always."

After being very distracted in the shower for _much_ longer than they had intended, Edward and Bella were finally getting dressed to leave over an hour later. On their way out the door, Bella caught sight of something in the corner of her eye, making her stop abruptly in her tracks.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked, following her gaze across the room, trying to figure out what she was looking at.

"I totally forgot about the painting," she whispered, her eyes glued to the silhouette of the canvas sitting on the easel across the room. Suddenly feeling ashamed that she had forced him to stop the only thing he had begged to do that day, Bella couldn't help but apologize. "I'm so sorry, baby."

"What the hell for?" he asked, looking at her as if she had just sprouted a second head.

"For being selfish and making you stop something that you have been wanting to do for months. No matter how badly I wanted you today, I can have you any time. We could have been together later tonight, or after you were finished."

"Are you seriously apologizing for the insanely hot afternoon we just had?"

"Well... yeah, I guess. Between my job and your mother's, it's not so easy to set up a good time for her to take Masen all day so that I can pose for you. Now you didn't finish and it's all my fault."

"What, are you having seducer's guilt or something?" he teased.

"Yeah," she pouted, causing Edward to laugh loudly before wrapping her in his arms for a tight hug.

"Come here," he said, pulling her across the room. When they were standing in front of the canvas, he forced her to turn and look at it. "There. Does that look like I didn't finish?

"Oh my god!" she gasped loudly.

Edward continued talking as he looked at it, not realizing that she had become completely silent next to him. "I might tweak some of the shading tomorrow, but overall, I'd say I made pretty good time. What do you think?" When she failed to answer him, he finally turned towards her. "Hello? Earth to Bella!" He waved his hand in front of her face, wondering why she looked so shocked.

"Is that... is that supposed to be _me_?" she whispered, slowly holding out her hand to point at the stranger on the canvas.

"Of course it is."

"But it doesn't look anything like me."

"I beg your pardon?" he said, pretending to be insulted. "How does that not look like you?"

"I mean, it _resembles_ me, but I don't normally look so... so lustful... and seductive... and voluptuous."

"Yes you do."

"No I don't! I'm as big as a house right now and about as sensual as a buffalo!"

"Look at me," he commanded, grabbing her chin firmly, forcing her eyes up to his. His gaze was hard and serious, and when he finally spoke, his tone left no room for disagreement. "First of all, I know you feel awkward and enormous right now, but I have never once lied to you when I say that I find you _ungodly_ sexy like this. I always do, every single day. But this woman here," he gestured to the painting, "she fucking _haunts_ me. This is the woman I see whenever you let go and decide that you need me no matter where we are or what we're doing. I didn't make this up, Bella; that's _your_ face. That is the exact expression you make when you surrender to your need."

"Really?"

"Why the hell do you think I was so desperate to keep painting earlier? Any other time, I would have jumped you in a second and gone back to painting later, but that specific look was what I was trying to capture today." He broke into a smile before continuing. "I'm actually really proud that I lasted as long as I did today. That fucking look is lethal." He leaned down and kissed her softly, only flicking her lips with the tip of his tongue before pulling away, knowing that if he allowed it to grow more heated they would never leave. "Now, let's go pick up Masen," he smiled.

"Okay," she mumbled, feeling dazed and lightheaded by his teasing kisses. They walked back to the door, their locked hands swaying between them. "So what are you going to call this one?" she asked when she finally had her wits about her.

"Oh, I dunno," he sighed. "It's always best to keep the title simple and true. I was thinking something along the lines of _Portrait of a Sex Goddess_."

"Well that's certainly... _subtle._"

"That's me, baby. I'm the king of subtle." He winked at her and swatted her backside playfully as they entered the hall, pulling the door closed behind them as they left, heading out into the night to pick up a sleeping boy with a belly full of cookies.

...

..

.

* * *

I hope you liked this little sexy peek into the future for our happy couple! Let me know what you thought!


	32. Announcement

Don't get too excited yet, this isn't a new chapter, just an announcement.

I wanted to let all of my readers know that I have donated another outtake of this story to the StandUp4Katalina fundraiser compilation. If you haven't heard about this yet, visit the link at the bottom of my author page. One of our lovely, supportive readers has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and was told she has about 6 months to live. Rather than ask for anything for herself, she asked for people to help out others with cancer who still have a chance. A few lovely ladies got together and formed this fundraiser, contacting all of her favorite authors to see if they would donate something to put in a GIANT compilation with tons of different chapters, outtakes, poems, etc. All anyone has to do to get their hands on a copy of this enormous compilation is to donate a minimum of five dollars to Stand Up 4 Cancer and send them a copy of the receipt. How amazing of a deal is that?

When I contacted Katalina and asked her if she had any requests or prompts for my donation, she replied immediately with the title of a sexy song and one other request: LTIF Edward. Now how could I refuse that? So, my dears, I have written another outtake that shows our happy couple even farther down the road and still making the most of that little apartment. (psst... this time involves a lot of splattered paint)

So if you are interested in helping out a wonderful cause or just simply want to get your hands on a ton of great stories before anyone else can, then go check it out. It's only going for a few more weeks so don't waste any time! Once again, the link to the site is at the bottom of my author page.

For those of you who would rather wait for the outtake, I won't be able to post it anywhere else until at LEAST January, and that's if I still decide to post it. Don't risk it, go sign up. We've all been touched by cancer in some way, whether it's a loved one, a coworker, or even yourself. Let's do our part and get something awesome out of it in the process.

I hope you check it out. Let me know on here or twitter if you get it and you like it. I still love to hear your thoughts!

Thanks for your time,

AwesomeSauce76


	33. Outtake: Spread Your Love

Here is the outtake that I mentioned in my last announcement. I want to thank those of you who donated to the SU4K fundraiser, whether it was to read this outtake or just to help a worthy cause. I know that they were blown away with how much they were able to raise; they kept raising their goal amount higher because it was getting met every day! It makes me so happy to see how much goodness people are capable of when they work together.

Also, if you are interested in seeing the banner I made for this outtake, stop by my author page and scroll to the bottom to find the link!

Dedication: For Katalina, who not only inspired me with her strength, but also this awesome song prompt.

* * *

_Spread your love like a fever_

_And don't you ever come down_

"_Spread Your Love" ~ Black Rebel Motorcycle Club_

"Tell me again why I'm lying naked on the floor and you're still fully dressed," Bella said as she watched Edward pacing around the small apartment. He was busy collecting supplies in his arms and muttering to himself as he went through his mental checklist, so he didn't hear her until she asked him again.

"I told you," he answered distractedly as he set various items down next to her. "There's something I want to try."

"Care to be more specific?" she asked, sitting up and crossing her arms over her breasts as he kneeled down beside her.

"I want to paint you." He leaned in and gave her a quick peck on the lips, pulling back before it could develop into anything more.

"You paint me all the time," Bella replied with a pout, wishing that he had kissed her longer. "Why do I have to be on the floor this time? And why the hell is this drop cloth so damn scratchy?" She gestured quickly to the stiff material they were both sitting on.

"Because it's not a drop cloth; it's canvas. I want to try something different this time," he explained. "Do you remember when I painted those colors all over your body?"

"Mm," she moaned lightly, smiling at the memory. "My very first art lesson. If I remember correctly, that turned into a very hands-on demonstration."

"Yes it did," he chuckled. "Anyway, I was thinking about how passionate that was, and then that inspired me to try this."

"What, exactly, is it that you are trying?"

"I want to capture that passion. Last time was so sexy and amazing, but then it was all just washed away down the drain when we showered that afternoon. This time I want to keep it."

Bella's eyes lit with understanding. "So when you said that you wanted to paint me, you meant _me_ literally."

"Yes. Is that alright?"

Bella laid back against the sheet of canvas on the ground, spreading her arms out wide. "Go on, Picasso, do your worst."

"Pfft, Picasso?" Edward scoffed as he set up his palette. "Please; you know I hate Cubism."

"Forgive me, Master Cullen. I forgot that not everyone is as good as you are."

"Hey, I'm not _that_ arrogant," he said, dipping a large brush into a glob of paint that he had just mixed into a light shade of blue.

"Yes you are," she laughed. "Ooh, that tickles." She wiggled at the feeling of the rough bristles dragging across her ribcage, leaving bright streaks of color in its wake.

"Stop moving," he commanded. "Darling, I think you are confusing confidence with arrogance."

"You have both in spades."

"Alright, I'll grant you that." He smirked at her as he grabbed another brush, smearing bright flares of red over her sensitive nipples.

"Is there any method to your color scheme here?" she asked, laughing when a bright bloom of yellow appeared down her thigh.

"I'm trying to tap into the emotion of colors," he explained seriously, his eyes never leaving her body as he worked. Bella watched as he lovingly traced her C-section scar with swirls of purple. "I want to capture your passion."

"Then come over here," she purred seductively.

"Not yet," he scolded. "I'm trying to concentrate."

And on it went for almost an hour, Edward smearing and streaking her from head to toe in a wild array of colors and Bella hinting and pouting for more contact from him. Every brush stroke was like a lover's kiss against her heated flesh and it was driving her crazy that he was so focused on his art.

"There," he said at last, placing his brush down emphatically. "Now turn over slowly." He helped her move the way he wanted, pushing down on her body in some places and angling her the way he wanted back and forth until she was beginning to feel like a giant paint roller. Just as she was about to call an end to the entire thing he stopped and helped her sit up to look at the results.

"Oh, Edward… it's beautiful." She was surprised to find that it truly was; brilliant shots of color spread across the canvas in different directions creating an amazing effect.

When she looked up at him she was surprised to find him frowning. "No. Something's missing."

"What could possibly be missing?" Bella asked. "I honestly thought you were crazy, but this is lovely."

"I don't know how to explain it," he grumbled, tugging his hands through his hair in frustration. He kneeled down next to her again, sighing loudly. "It's _pretty_. I don't want pretty. I want primal. I see whimsy and joy and love here, but I want _passion_." His shoulders slumped in defeat before he finally met her questioning gaze. "I wanted so badly to recreate the passion that you bring to my life."

"Baby, don't you see?" Bella reached up and held his face, ignoring the bright smear of green that it left on his chin. "You were never going to find that this way."

"What do you mean?"

"You're just rolling me around in paint here. It's much too one-sided. I meant it earlier when I told you to join me. This passion between us is something that we generate _together_; it's nothing either of us can create on our own. Edward, _you're_ my passion. Without you it just doesn't work. I mean, look at me." She waved her hand across her body. "It's all so deliberate and staged. Passion isn't like that."

He blinked a few times as he let her words sink in. "Passion is messy," he finally whispered.

"Yes."

"And out of control."

"Exactly."

Leaning forward, he rested his forehead against hers. "Have I ever told you how much I love you?"

"You might have mentioned it a time or two," she smiled, pulling him closer so that their lips could meet in a searing kiss. When her hands went to lift his shirt up over his head he stopped her.

"Wait a second." He stood up quickly and went to his iPod, changing the playlist from the current tamer one to his tried and true list entitled _Fuck Songs_. As soon as a sexy blues riff started to fill the room he turned back around and yanked his shirt off over his head, throwing such a heated look at his wife as he stalked back towards her that she feared she might melt right there on the spot.

"Oh god," Bella moaned. "That's what I'm talking about."

Edward stood in front of her, slowly unbuttoning his jeans and pulling them down over his hips. Once he had kicked them off he joined her again, kneeling in front of her like an offering. Without saying a word, he reached over and picked up the palette, setting it gently in her hands.

"What do you want me to do?" she asked in confusion when he looked at her expectantly.

"It's your turn."

"Oh!" She slowly ran her eyes down his sculpted torso, lingering on all the places that she loved to touch. Picking up the brush that was lying between the different selections of paint, she barely glanced at it before tossing it across the room. Licking her lips excitedly, Bella dipped her finger into the blue paint and began to make bright streaks across his solid chest.

When she stopped for a moment and smiled at what she had done, Edward looked down and found that she had spelled out the word _MINE_ on his skin. Unable to keep his hands off her after that, he reached out and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her into him tightly. As their mouths collided almost frantically, their bodies began to slip and slide against each other, smearing all of his hard work from earlier into brand new colors.

Bella pulled back long enough to find the forgotten palette that she had dropped, quickly slapping both of her hands down into different colors before returning to her husband with fire in her eyes. She reached for him then, dragging him closer as she ran her hands over him possessively, leaving bright streaks down his arms and around to his back. Two definite handprints appeared on his ass when she pulled his hips to hers, moaning loudly into his mouth when she felt his erection prodding between her legs.

"So beautiful," he muttered between kisses, nipping at her lips with his teeth. "My beautiful girl."

"I want you so badly," Bella gasped. "You've been driving me crazy since we got here." She couldn't stop touching him, her hands leaving bright streaks and fingerprints all over his skin.

"_Me_? You don't know how hard it was to keep my hands off of you earlier, just lying there like an offering for me."

"Then why the hell didn't you take me?" she asked, biting his earlobe lightly at the feel of his hands squeezing her breasts, swirling the paint on her nipples even more with his fingers. "God knows I wanted you to."

"I was trying to stay in control," he panted, reaching around her quickly and grabbing her ass, grinding himself harder between her legs.

"Fuck control!"

"Damn straight," he groaned, pulling her down to the paint-splattered canvas. They kissed and groped like desperate teenagers, unable to get enough of each other. "I need to taste you. Fuck, it's been too long!"

"It's only been a week," Bella giggled as he kneeled between her legs.

"Feels like a year! Those damn kids need to sleep in their own beds from now on."

"Oh, look who's talking, Mr. Softie."

"I don't think that name is very appropriate for me right now, baby," he chuckled, nodding down towards the rather prominent erection that bobbed between them.

"You know what I mean; you're the biggest pushover whenever they start begging. You have only yourself to blame for the shortage of bedroom sports lately."

"I'll take that into consideration, but I've got more pressing matters at the moment." He shot her a wink before placing his hands on her inner thighs and spreading them wide, leaving rainbow fingerprints on her pale skin as he exposed her wet flesh to his hungry eyes. "God damn, that's fucking gorgeous. I wish I could use my fingers, too, but somehow I've kept you paint free here and it should probably stay that way. Oh well," he sighed.

Without another word he buried his face between her legs, lapping at her silken folds until she was writhing beneath him. Bella shoved her fingers in his hair, grabbing huge handfuls that caused it to stick up in multi-colored spikes as she pushed and pulled him where she needed him most. After six years of marriage they had absolutely no qualms about letting each other know exactly what they needed, although they knew each other's bodies so well by that point that it was rarely necessary.

"Oh god, right there!" she cried, clamping her thighs against his head when he started sucking on her clitoris. With a loud shriek and a spasm that ran the entire length of her body, Bella shattered into what felt like a million tiny pieces. However, when Edward tried to keep going in order to coax another orgasm out of her she promptly yanked on his hair hard enough to make him stop.

"What, no encore?" he asked, licking and sucking on his swollen lips. He had paint streaks all over his face from her death grip leg lock and his hair was sticking straight up, but as ridiculous as the whole thing should have been, he had never looked sexier to her.

_This_ was primal.

_This_ was passion.

"No," she nearly growled. "You. I need _you_. Now!"

Edward took one look into her eyes and felt his control snap. There was no time for thought or planning; they were both driven by a pure need for each other that had caused a sort of lust-induced haze to fog their brains. What followed next ended up being a complete blur in their memories, both of them only recalling small snippets here and there when it was done: streaks of color, the slippery feel of the paint as they moved together, and a feeling of absolute bliss washing over them.

In reality Edward had fallen on her hungrily, lining himself up at her entrance with practiced ease before sinking inside her to the hilt. They both cried out at their joining, thrusting and slamming their bodies together frantically, as if they feared that they would never be able to get close enough. At one point Bella growled and shoved him over, rolling on top of him and pinning him down with her hands on his shoulders. He groaned at the feeling of her riding him roughly, unable to tell her in words just how much he craved her physical possession of his body. All he could do was grab onto her hips and help guide her to another explosive release as he thrust up into her repeatedly.

At some point after that he regained control of her shaking body, kneeling between her legs again as he threw her feet over his shoulders, causing her hips to lift off the floor high enough to balance on his thighs. He leaned forward far enough so that he could kiss her lips as he moved, bending her almost backwards as he did it, but it caused such an amazing friction when he ground himself inside her that Bella could only feel the insane pleasure of him filling her over and over again until they finally collapsed together in a heap of paint-smeared limbs on the floor.

They lay there together for so long that they lost track of time, kissing and cuddling and simply existing in their own little private world for as long as they could. Eventually they began to notice that they were sticking to each other in all the wrong places as the paint dried and became tacky feeling, so they slowly made their way to the little bathroom to shower, leaving multi-colored footprints behind them.

"You still have blue and purple streaks in your hair," Bella laughed as she applied more shampoo to Edward's head.

"And you have a lovely red/yellow combination going on," he chuckled. "It might stain for a while, baby. At least a few shampoos."

"That's alright; I'll just wash it a few more times before I go back to work on Monday." She looked at him thoughtfully in the steam-filled shower. "I kind of like it on you, though. It's like a little punk rock reminder of our wonderful afternoon."

"Yeah, but if Masen sees it he's going to want blue hair, too. Then Elizabeth will join in with the whining."

"God, you're right," she sighed. "I hadn't thought of that. Bummer," she pouted.

"No worries. I'll just wear my baseball hat around them until it's gone. But at _night_," he wagged his eyebrows suggestively, "I can punk rock your world."

"Ooh, I like the sound of that," Bell laughed. "But as you mentioned earlier, we're rarely alone at night anymore."

"I know, I know," he sighed. "I need to put my foot down and make them sleep in their rooms. I just… sometimes it just amazes me that all of this is really mine, you know? When everybody piles in around me like that I feel surrounded by everything that matters and I just… I just feel so fucking _lucky_, baby." He fought through a sudden lump in his throat to continue. "Having you and the kids has completely changed my life. I have no idea where I would have ended up if I didn't have you. Sometimes it scares me shitless when I think about it."

"Hey, look at me." She reached out and held his face in her hands. "I understand how you feel; I think about it sometimes, too. I try to picture how my life would have turned out and I just can't do it. You and the kids are the only future I can ever see. You're stuck with us and we're not going anywhere, so we might as well find a way to sleep more comfortably at night." She smiled and stretched on her toes, angling up to kiss him sweetly as the water rained down over their heads.

"Have I ever told you how much I love you?" he asked when she pulled away.

"You might have mentioned it a time or two."

When they were finally as clean as they could manage they dried off and got dressed again, returning to the front room to survey the damage they had caused.

"Holy shit," Edward said with a laugh, noting all the smears and streaks of paint that covered the floorboards and even parts of the wall. "I don't think we stayed in the lines."

"Your poor studio!" Bella cried. "Should we try to clean it up now before it gets any worse and dries?"

"Hell no," he answered without blinking. "I love it. I'll always have a reminder of today whenever I'm here working." They walked over and looked down at the large sheet of canvas on the floor. "Well, what do you know?"

"Oh my god!" she gasped, covering her mouth in shock.

"Well I'd call this a success," he said with a chuckle, taking in all the handprints and different shapes and streaks created by their flailing limbs. "That's definitely passionate. I suppose this should go in my private collection, huh?"

"Edward Cullen, don't you dare!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I forbid you to hide this away like those naughty little distractions you paint. You don't have to sell it, but you _must_ show it."

"You don't think it's too personal?"

"Of course it's personal, but it's abstract enough to be comfortable with. That is one of the most beautiful things that you've ever made. I thought it was going to end up a big muddy mess, but all of those amazing colors! Can you believe we did that?"

"Of course I can," he whispered as he smiled down at her. "Our love makes amazing things happen."

….

Two months later they stood together in front of the same canvas, now stretched carefully around a frame and mounted on the wall of the art gallery showcasing Edward's latest collection. It was large, at least eight feet wide and just as tall, and it was definitely the showstopper of the evening.

Critics and fans alike had swarmed around it, unable to tear their eyes away from the primal electricity the piece conveyed. It was evocative; whether they loved it or hated it, nobody could deny that it made them feel something. The crowds around it had been so huge that Edward and Bella hadn't even bothered going near it until the party was over and they could grab a few moments in front of it alone.

Once the coast was clear, Bella leaned into his side and rested her head on his shoulder, sighing fondly as they took it in again. She read the title card next to it on the wall and smiled to herself.

_Spread Your Love: A Study in Passion_

"Wasn't that the song that was playing that night?" she asked.

"Good memory," he said with a nod, leaning down to kiss the top of her head. "I'm sure other songs played later, but that was the only one I could remember for certain. It seems to fit, don't you think?"

"Perfectly."

"It still blows my mind when I look at it. I mean, that night couldn't have been more perfect, and now there is this amazing reminder of it that we will always have."

Bella smiled more broadly, deciding that there would never be a better time to tell him. "You know… that's not the only thing we made that night."

"What do you mean, the mess in the apartment? I told you not to worry about that. I love it! It's actually rather inspirational," he added with a wink.

"No, sweetheart." She grabbed his hand and placed it over her still-flat belly. "I'm telling you that we made something else. _Another_ amazing reminder."

Edward cocked his head to one side before his eyes went wide with disbelief. "Bullshit!"

Bella threw her head back and laughed, loving that he'd had the exact same reaction every time she had told him they were expecting.

"You're serious?!" He cried.

She only had the time to nod before he whooped loudly and picked her up, twirling her around in circles.

"You aren't upset, are you?" she asked when he had finally set her down.

"Woman, are you crazy? Was that the reaction of someone who is upset?"

"Well no, but I know you've mentioned that we should probably stop at two. I wasn't trying, I swear. I was still taking my pill. I don't know how, but it just… happened."

"Hey, what did I say to you that night?" he asked, grabbing her chin in his hand and tilting her face up to meet his eyes.

"Our love makes amazing things happen," she answered softly, the smallest hitch in her breathing as she swallowed past a lump in her throat.

"It sure as hell does." Edward leaned down and kissed her gently before pulling her into another fierce hug.

They decided later that night as they whispered together in their bed that they would never be able to sell that painting, regardless of all the offers he'd received that evening. However, they _did_ agree that one day they just might leave it to their unborn child as a keepsake of the night it was made.

* * *

AN: I hope you enjoyed that little glimpse into the future for our happy couple. Thanks for reading!


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